The Heart Sees

I sat here with Troy pressing his forehead against mine as I tried to process his words. He had just made the sacred alpha vow to me... me?! I had no choice but to refuse, I can't be responsible for his life that way. I'm glad that he trusts me and he wants to be my mate.... I just never realized how far he is willing to go for me. So, I reassured him that I still wanted to be his mate. The alpha vow surprised me because I thought that tradition had been extinct. Alphas stopped using it because they wanted power. The alpha vow gives away their power to someone else. Basically the alpha gives their life to someone and makes a promise such as protection. If the alpha fails then the person who they made the vow to gets to select a punishment... usually severe lashings or death. I couldn't be responsible for that... for Troy's life... so I refused.

'As if you could refuse such a kind and gentle alpha' Lilac scoffed.

'I'm glad that the moon goddess gave him to us... he is the kind of mate we have always wanted' I sighed.

'It might be too soon to start the process of mating... but I can tell he was honest with us and told us everything. I just wish we could remember him from before everything' Lilac replied.

"So if you're accepting me as your mate will you be staying in the pack?" Troy asked nervously.

"Yes I would like to stay" I smiled at him and he grinned at me.

"Great, can I join you to the pack mind link or would you rather wait?" Troy asked happily.

"I think I should be joined... if I ever got taken or anything it would help you find me" I stated factually and Troy nodded.

"It might sting a bit" Troy warned and I nodded as he grabbed a small knife from the drawer beside the bed. "You ready?" He asked again.

"Yes" I mumbled and he sliced his palm first.

"Do you trust me?" He asked and I nodded again. "I hate having to hurt you.." he said before he leaned closer. "Can I kiss you?" He asked in a rough voice.

"Yes" I squeaked nervously and he nodded.

"It will be over soon" he said as he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. He was passionate yet gentle as he moved his lips skillfully. I moved my mouth back, leaning into him more as I clung to his shirt. I felt him smirk into the kiss as I slowly trailed one of my hands up to his neck, leaving the other one palm up and motionless. I felt his hands move against me as he brushed his tongue against my lips for entrance.

I pulled away when I suddenly felt a connection click in my head. I gasped, looking down to our intertwined hands, our bloody palms touching each other. "I didn't even feel it" I admitted as I felt voices flooding into my head.

'Just focus on the image of a strong wall in your mind and the voices will be blocked out' Troy said in my mind. I did as he instructed and the voices stopped. "Better?" He asked and I nodded. "It can be overwhelming sometimes... welcome to the pack" he said before releasing my hand and grabbing a cloth beside the bed to clean off the blood.

"It's nice to be part of your pack... thank you" I smiled at him.

"It will be our pack after the luna ceremony... whenever you're ready for it" Troy smiled back at me, cleaning my hand gently. "Do you have any more questions for me?" He asked, setting the dirty cloth aside.

"Has Chase been caught yet?" I asked worriedly.

"No... but I have people looking for him and extra wolves on patrol. If he shows up I will stop him, you have nothing to worry about here in the pack house" Troy said as he brushed his hand along my cheek gently.

I nodded, "after hearing everything I think I need a shower.... I feel dirty all of a sudden" I admitted and Troy frowned.

"There is a bathroom attached to our room through that door" Troy said as he pointed to the far left side of the room.

"Wait.... our room?" I asked, slowly getting up from the bed.

"You're welcome to stay if you want... I just figured you wouldn't want to be alone and this way I can protect you... but if you're uncomfortable you can go back to your old room. I promise I won't touch you or do anything innappropriate if you stay" he raised his hands in surrender.

"Do you want me to stay?" I smirked at him.

"Yes of course but I don't want you to feel pressured" Troy said as he stood up.

"Yes I will stay... I trust you" I said and he grinned from ear to ear.

"Right I'll show you where the towels and things are and I'll let Terry know to move your things in here" Troy said excitedly as he rushed over to the bathroom door. I giggled at him, Troy is definitely more of a puppy.

"Thank you" I said and he nodded. He had shown me where everything was and went to leave when I stopped him by grabbing his shirt. "Ummm... I need a change of clothes" I blushed.

"No problem, I'll grab some and set them outside the door and I'll lock our bedroom door while I go talk to Terry" Troy said with a smirk.

"Thank you" I blushed at the words our bedroom.

"No problem Lu, and take your time" Troy smiled and I nodded, closing the bathroom door. I got undressed and turned on the water when I heard some rustling. I jumped nervously before I heard Troy.

"Clothes are here. I'll let you unlock the bedroom door when you're done" he shouted and then I heard his retreating foot steps.

I relaxed and used the full length mirror to examine myself. There were no visible injuries left besides some old scars and I didn't feel sore down there anymore. 'I can't believe our first time was with that monster... he raped us' I said to Lilac.

'I'm sorry I couldn't fight him off of us. Stupid alpha power' Lilac huffed.

'That's okay.. thank you for trying. I just wish I didn't feel so tainted. I know Troy loves us but it will take me some time to be able to get intimate with him' I admitted.

'That's understandable Lu. As long as you take that medicine to stop our heat I should be able to control my mating urges until you're ready' Lilac said supportively. 'Or maybe not because Troy is so hot... I'm excited to mate him and make him ours completely...' Lilac purred.

'One step at a time horny wolf' I huffed and she laughed at me. I smiled at got into the shower, trying to scrub the dirty feeling from my skin. I let the warm water wash over me as my mind wandered and I burst into tears thinking about all that Chase could have done to me.