The Heart Sees

WARNING: CONTENT MAY TRIGGER SOME READERS. READ WITH CAUTION.

My neck still burned as Chase forcefully held me to his chest. He was carrying me so that I wouldn't run away and there were only 3 or 4 guards following us.

We had stopped at the pack house briefy for Chase to collect some supplies and I tried my best to rub my scent so that Troy would be able to know that I had been there. I wasn't sure if he was still alive or if he was coming for me now that the mind link and bond between us had been severed. Out of all the punishments and everything I had been through, nothing hurt as much as my bond with Troy being taken from me.

Lilac had only spoken to me briefly after it happened to let me know that she felt Brax was still alive. But she was so weak that she could not maintain a conversation with me and had fallen asleep in the back of my mind.

I kept asking the moon goddess to explain what happened.. why I had to go through all this but she was silent as usual. So I shifted my prayers to Troy... hoping she could numb his pain a bit and help him. I don't know if I would be able to live with myself if I found out that severing our bond had killed him. And he has already lost a mate... usually when mates are lost the remaining wolf dies of sadness. Troy was strong though... he survived it, but there was no way he could survive it a second time. The only reason he was still alive was probably because we had not fully mated... if we were I am sure that he wouldn't have made it.

I felt tears stream down my cheeks as I thought about how I had last seen Troy... the pain on his face as he clutched his chest... the way he fell onto his knees... I never wanted to see him in that much pain ever again. I would take all the pain from him if I could... even though it was painful for me as well.

"You promised you wouldn't hurt him!" I screamed at Chase and punched at his chest.

"That was me being merciful" Chase growled, "you should be thanking me".

"That was not mercy!" I yelled back.

"It was because if I had left that mark on you he would have felt everything you felt. He would have felt pain everytime I mate with you and touch you. I was saving him the pain to fufill my promise to you, you ungrateful brat" he scowled.

I was quiet for a bit after that, thinking over his words. It's true that Troy would have felt everything... it would have hurt him. I didn't want the bond severed or the mark removed... but maybe it was better this way. I sighed in defeat as Chase smiled down at me.

Suddenly I got an idea. I pressed a claw to my wrist and made a large slit. Not enough to kill me, but enough to drip onto the ground below and leave a trail for Troy... that way he would smell it and be able to follow us....

Sadly Chase smelled the blood, which I had not thought about, and growled at me. "Why are you bleeding?" He asked.

"It must be from when you attacked me earlier! You jostled me too much and broke the scab open!" I snarled back, hoping he would believe me.

For a split second I thought I saw guilt in his eyes, but then they hardened again as he slapped my cheek. "Don't talk to me like that! I am an alpha and you will submit to me" he said.

I whimpered as I felt his alpha command being used on me. I had no choice but to stay still in his arms as he carried me into what seemed like the mountains. I let the blood continue to drip from my wrist and anytime the cut would heal I would slice it open again. The small sting of pain was nothing compared to the pain I felt when losing Troy...

After what seemed like forever, Chase took us into a small wooden shack and threw me on the bed, crawling on top of me. "I would say I'll be gentle, but with how much you're fighting me I probably won't be" he smiled at me and I wanted to puke. "Now be a good little omega and let me do what I need to" he added as his hand ran down to grope my breast.

"Stop! You monster!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

He clapped a hand over my mouth to silence me, "now, now... there is no need to be this fiesty with me. Perhaps marking you will calm you down" he threatened and I laid still. "Now that's better.... stay like this and be a good little wolf and I won't place my mark on you" he said happily.

I glared at him but did as he said. I would not let him mark me, if it is the last thing I do. His hands started roaming my body, grabbing at me greedily... I said a silent prayer to the moon goddess to stop this, but again she was silent.

*****a while later*****

I laid on the bed feeling numb.... and violated. I felt like I was betraying Troy everytime Chase laid his filthy paws on me. As I said to him before I got no pleasure from it at all, only pain and blood. The only reason I had managed to stay awake through it all was by closing my eyes and imagining that I was somewhere else.

I wish that it had been Troy for my first time... I wish that I was in his arms, cuddling with him after some sweet love making, not this nightmare.

My head was pounding and I constantly felt sick after everything that had happened. Sadly, Troy wasn't able to save me before this and I knew that he would probably blame himself. The only blessing was that since the bond was severed, Troy didn't have to feel the pain.

I whimpered as Lilac finally reappeared, "this is not our fault' she cooed, 'Troy will still want us. He is kind and his wolf is the most gentle alpha I have ever met. He will come for us and he will save us from this' she said to try and cheer me up.

'But I am so violated... so tainted... what if he doesn't want me back?' I cried to her.

'He will. I can sense that his wolf is still looking for us' Lilac purred.

"You better eat, we have to get moving soon. Although I am glad we had time for a break" Chase wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively as he sent a bowl of cereal beside the bed. "You were such a good little wolf" he praised.

"I hate you" I growled, refusing to eat the food in case it was drugged.

"It's not poisoned and if you want to live you need to eat" Chase growled back.

He had been very rough with me, but he made sure when he penetrated that it was slower. I guess he doesn't want any damage to the pup making part of me.

'We need our strength to fight him... please eat' Lilac begged.

'For you I will...' I complied as I picked up the cereal and started eating, a huge grin forming on Chase's face. I felt sick again, but forced myself to keep eating....

What I wouldn't do for a bath right now to wash his disgusting smell off of me...