The Gay Nerd Who Stole His Heart

"Are you fucking stupid?"

Kylan's emotions had gone numb, and his blank stare remained on Jonah, who rushed across his room to find any material to stop the bleeding. He was bleeding quite a lot, and he grabbed one of his sweaters, placing them over Kylan's arm and tightening it to the point that Kylan winced at the pain.

Jonah struggled to breathe as he stared at the empty Kylan not moving from his spot, "I need to stop the bleeding."

Kylan didn't say anything. Rather he stared at Jonah sprint across the room for his first-aid kit, which he didn't find. He headed for the bathroom, then the kitchen, and found it in one of the drawers. When he returned into the room, Kylan not having moved one bit, he tightened the sweater and pressed on it with his palm.

The wound had not been deep, but it was bleeding from the layer of skin he had slashed open. Panicking, Jonah began sweating, and he pulled his shirt over his head, applying much more force to the wound. He pushed Kylan towards the bed, forcing him to sit down as he grabbed one end with his teeth and the other with his palms, pulling tighter around his arm.

After a few minutes, he removed the sweater, "The bleeding has gone down, so it'll be fine with bandages."

Kylan did not say anything, as if he was absent in his mind, and Jonah placed ointment on the wound. He then wrapped his arm with layers of bandages to the point that Kylan could barely move his wrist. When he finished, he stood to his feet, "That should be good for now. If the blood seeps through, tell me so I can change the bandages."

He exhaled a long sigh, feeling his entire body still trembling from the horror he had come across when entering the room. It was filled with hurt, pain, and rage that he was forcing himself to control.

However, his thoughts ran wild, and he faced the listless Kylan, "Why the fuck would you do something like that? I literally just told you today that I need you in my life. What more do you fucking need for you to get better, Kylan?" Kylan did not respond.

"You don't want to fucking go to rehab. You've been taking your meds. Every time I ask how you are, you say you're fucking fine. What more do you fucking want from me, Kylan?"

He slammed his foot against the wall, sending his trembling fingers through his hair before exhaling a sharp breath. After a few moments of intense silence, he knelt in front of Kylan, attempting to meet his gaze, but Kylan's eyes appeared absent even as he did.

"Tell me what you fucking want!" Jonah exclaimed, his eyes forming with tears that he had not predicted. His teeth gritted as he growled, "What do you need me to do, Kylan?! You said you felt lonely. I have you around me all the fucking time, every second of every day. You told me you needed someone, and I'm going to be that fucking someone, but you need to be actually trying to get better, Kylan."

He heard Kylan gulp a bit before whispering in a cold low tone, "I am trying-"

"Is it because of Lucas?" Jonah began sobbing, Kylan's eyes widening when he realized that. His tears were leaking from his cheeks to the end of his chin as he placed his palms on Kylan's thighs, "I'll get rid of Lucas. I'll never fucking see him again. I'll delete his number, block him off every social media, even change condos, so he doesn't know where we fucking live! Kylan, tell me what you need!"

"I...I don't...know what I need," he breathed quietly, which caused Jonah to lean his forehead on kylan's lap.

"I can't lose you, Kylan, I can't. I'll even sell away my company so I can focus on you. Just please, work with me here because I don't know what..." he trailed off, his cry being too intense for him to control his voice, and it broke off.

Kylan stared at him, crying, but the conversation exchange with Lucas was imprinted in his mind; none of this from Jonah seemed real. He wasn't really wanted. Jonah was just saying those things so he wouldn't kill himself. That caused him to tilt his head, "You don't love me. You love Lucas. You never loved me."

"I spent six fucking long hard but loving years with you, and you really think I don't fucking love you? I came to get you right when I heard about what happened, and you don't think I love you?"

He stood to his feet, "I'm forcing you to live with me, forcing you to come to work with me. Have you sleep in the bedroom so I can hear the door open if you try to leave during the night. I even have stopped Jacob from coming to visit since I know I wouldn't be able to focus on you, but I don't fucking love you?"

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"You told Lucas that-"

"Because you even said he doesn't deserve to get fucking hurt, and this isn't the way I should break up with him. I was in the wrong breaking up with him that way, and he deserved better than that. Kylan, you fucking said don't hurt him! That doesn't mean I'm not choosing you, Ky; is that really why you cut yourself? Because of the conversation Lucas and I had?"

Kylan furrowed his brows, "I don't know."

"You really need help," Jonah sighed, wiping his tears, "You need to go back to rehab."

"I don't want to go "

"And I could never live with myself if I find you passed out on the ground next time."

Kylan shook his head, "You're letting me go again."

"Kylan listen," he reached for his jaw, "I'm not going to send you to rehab. But you have to promise me, please, promise me that you will never do that again, or at least tell me that's how you feel. We can always talk things out." Kylan turned away from him, and Jonah frowned.

"You don't like Lucas? I'm getting rid of him right now, hold on," he sprinted from the bedroom for not even a minute and returned with his phone. He dialed the number, and when the line answered and Lucas's voice was heard, Jonah immediately said, "I lied, I had sex with Kylan. I can't do it anymore with you. I never loved you, and I don't even like you."

Kylan's eyes widened, but he did not say anything.

Lucas, on the other end, said, "We talked not even half an hour ago—"

"Don't contact me ever again. Don't talk to me ever again, don't come to my door ever again, we're completely over," and he hung up. Then he turned to Kylan, "See? It's done. What else do you want me to do?" Kylan slowly shook his head, "That's not what I wanted—"

"It was hurting you, wasn't it? Then I won't allow anything that might hurt you into our lives again. I love you, and it's you and me against the world, right?"

There was a short silence, and Kylan lowered his eyes, whispering, "Right."

"You can't do this anymore, though, Kylan. Please, promise me you'll tell me next time. I can help you, Ky, and if I can't, we'll find someone that can." Kylan nodded his head, "Okay."