SWNOVELS Chapter 38
Chapter 38
HENRIETTA
His eyes widened, and his jaw dropped, a mix of disbelief and astonishment etched across his face. It was difficult to contain my laughter but I managed.
“You…You knew?” he stammered, flustered that I knew the truth.
“The first time you visited me in my chamber while I was asleep? Yes, I knew about it. I initially thought it was just a dream but as time went by, I realized you were really here.”
He closed his eyes firmly, muttering under her breath.
“I should not have done that and I don’t know why I did that. I apologize.”
I was silent as I admired the moon that conveniently shone straight at my open windows. The night was quiet and the crickets outside did not stand a chance against the loud drumming of my own heart. I wished Andreas could not hear it — how my breathing became labored as I felt the tension cloud the air.
I cleared my throat. This isn’t the time for me to be thinking of other matters.
“There must have been a reason.” I gave him a sidelong glance and found that he, too, was admiring the moon. “What is it?”
“There are a lot of reasons, Henrietta.” He turned to look at me and his eyes became even bluer under the moonlight. “Which one do you want to hear?”
I swallowed hard as I found myself swimming in the hue of his eyes. His gaze seemed to penetrate my very soul, as if urging me to lay it bare before him.
“I was lonely. The night was quiet and beautiful, and my feet brought me here.”
“You could have woken me up,” I mumbled under my breath and he heard it, earning a chuckle from him.
“I could not possibly wake you up from your rest.” Silence enveloped us and then he said, “Another reason was because I felt that I wronged you.”
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I looked at him. The night he first came to my chamber was the night of Lady Grace’s ball. Did he perhaps know! was upset that he danced with Lady Grace?
“I apologize–”
I raised my hand to stop him. “You did not need to apologize, Andreas. We had an agreement from the very beginning. Your business outside of this marriage is none of my concern. The same is true about my business that’s out of your concern.”
He sighed and faced me, shifting on the bed, making me swallow. I now understand why he said it was a bad idea. Suddenly, the room felt too small. Suddenly, my senses heightened and I could sense every small thing around us — the way the dust danced underneath the moonlight, the way the curtains swayed with the gentle breeze, the way Andreas‘ chest rose up and down as he breathed, the way his eyes traveled to my lips, the way his hand lay too close to mine.
Everything was heightened and I wished Andreas couldn’t hear my thundering heart as my hands tightened around the robe I was wearing.
As the weight of our conversation lingered, the air between us shifted. Before I could contemplate further, Andreas asked, ‘Do you know why I came here tonight?
“Do you know why I came here tonight?”
I blinked and shook my head.
“I discovered something about the death of my mother,” he revealed.
Suddenly, the air of tension dissipated, replaced with an unknown emotion I never thought I’d feel towards a rumored ruthless man.
“Would you…like to talk about it?”
He was silent, as if contemplating whether to tell me or not. I am not holding it against him if he did not want to tell me. After all, we all have secrets. So I let out a deep breath and said, “It’s fine too if you do not wish to tell me about it. As I said earlier, I am good with silence too.”
He released a quiet chuckle, and I couldn’t help but raise an intrigued brow. “What?” I inquired.
“This. You. Me. Sharing this space. Conversing about matters,” he remarked with a hint of amazement in his
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I echoed his chuckle. “Well, Andreas, we’re bound for marriage. It’s not merely a facade; we’re destined to live as genuine husband and wife. Discussing things is part of this union.”
He looked at me and I could not look away. The sadness was evident in his eyes and I felt sorry for whatever he was going through. Everyone truly has their own story, and despite what they show in front of everyone, all of us have our burdens to carry. Andreas is no exception.
“I found out that my mother died because of her own choices,” he started. I do not know much about his mother other than the fact that she was the woman his father fell in love with when he was still a Prince.
“It feels like everything I’ve believed so far was wrong and now… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if there is any point in exacting revenge when her death was of her own fault. She made a lot of mistakes, which led to the death of a lot of people. All of it happened because she made wrong choices.”
I was silent. Not only because I wished to offer him the solace he needed but because I did not know what to say.
For years, he thought that his mother died because of an injustice. Realizing that it was not the case at all was hard and I could only imagine how he felt about it.
There was nothing I could do to ease what he was feeling. No words would comfort him. So I did what I could do
and reached for his hand that was resting mere inches away from mine.
He was surprised at the gesture and I gave him a comforting smile. “That doesn’t mean you’ve lost your purpose, right?” I squeezed his hand and it gave me satisfaction when he squeezed back.
The sadness in his eyes was still there and I know it won’t disappear overnight. “You’re the well–known warrior defending this Kingdom, Andreas. You protect your people and that is enough for you to keep going. If you do not find any purpose in becoming a warrior anymore, then you can stop being a warrior too. Nevertheless, I think you’re incredible. You did your best–”
Before I could finish what I was saying, I felt his lips on mine, stilling me from my place. Unconsciously, my hand tightened around his and he took that as a sign and deepened the kiss.
My eyes widened in surprise, struggling to comprehend the unexpected turn of events. Yet, Andreas‘ kiss carried an undeniable hunger, conveying an urgency as if he needed it like it was his last meal.
began responding with equal fervor, succumbing to the intensity of his kisses. His other hand found its place behind my neck, skillfully tilting my head for better access.
Chapter 38
The rational part of me screamed to push him away, to halt this impulsive act. It wasn’t a good idea, and I was fully aware I should put an end to it. But his kisses rendered my knees weak and my hands feeble. I couldn’t summon the strength to resist. Instead, my arms instinctively wound around his neck, drawing him closer.
A low groan escaped him in satisfaction as I willingly opened my mouth, allowing him to explore the depths of my bare soul.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you look under the moonlight?” he whispered against my lips and I flushed even harder with his words. His hand gently caressed my stray hair and his eyes surveyed my face, searching for something. “I warned you this was a bad idea.”
“I…I fail to see how this could be deemed a bad idea,” I muttered before I could stop myself.
His forehead found refuge against my shoulder, and a low chuckle rumbled through him. “Do you know the struggle I have right now to exercise restraint?”
I nibbled nervously on my lip. “I’m acutely aware.” My fingers wound around his neck. “I…I desire for you to continue.” I took a shuddering breath and stammered, “I…I give you my permission to proceed.”
He suddenly pulled away and searched my eyes. “There is no going back, Henrietta.” Desire filled his gaze and my heart thundered against my chest. “I won’t be able to stop.”
I smiled and met his hypnotizing gaze.
And then the words slipped my lips as I squeezed his hand once again.
“Then don’t stop, Andreas.” A shuddering breath came out of me. “Don’t stop and do what you want.”
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Chapter 39