SWNOVELS Chapter 65
I raise a brow when I pull up at my house after a meeting that ran far later than I expected and find two cars parked in front — Xavier’s, as usual, and his parents’ town limousine.
Xavier pushes off the hood of his car, his expression stormy as he reaches for my car door and opens it for me, like he’s done every single day for three weeks straight. “Hi, Kitten,” he says, smiling, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes today. “You look beautiful.” His eyes roam over my red dress hungrily, and I try my best to ignore the way my heart has started to respond to him again.
“You look like you still haven’t signed the papers.”
He sighs, longing radiating off him as he hands me a bag. “I made you sugar cookies today. Decorated them too. I hope you like them.”
I reluctantly take the cookies and step away from him, acutely aware that we seem to have an audience. I’ve only just turned my back to him when the limousine’s door opens, and I look over my shoulder to find all three of Xavier’s brothers, Valeria, and his parents step out.
“Sierra!” Valeria says, smiling as she rushes up to me and hugs me tightly, making me stumble back. Zach musses up my hair, Hunter kisses my cheek, and Elijah offers me a quick hug, all four of them pretending Xavier isn’t standing right there, watching them.
“Hi, honey,” Mom says as she hands Dad what appears to be a grocery bag before she hugs me tightly, her arm wrapping around my shoulders as she pulls me toward the front door. Dad at least acknowledges Xavier’s presence with a grumble before he walks past him, and they all leave him standing there.
“What are you all doing here?” I ask, confused as I let them in. The boys instantly begin to mess with the robot Lex gave me, asking it to show them to the kitchen.
Dad gasps when my robot, Lola, takes the grocery bag from him and wheels forward with it. “What kind of abomination is that?” he asks, and I bite back a smile at the sheer horror on his face.
“We’re here to cook you dinner,” Valeria explains.
“Yeah,” Hunter says, looking over his shoulder. “You haven’t come home in a while, so we weren’t sure if maybe your car was broken or something.”
“You didn’t call, that’s for sure. Had to check if your phone plan was still active, and it is, so I’m not sure what that’s all about,” Elijah adds.
Zach just chuckles and throws me a sweet smile. “We all missed you,” he says as he helps Dad unpack the groceries they brought, before they all wash their hands and start to divide tasks, while I just look around in shock.
“We’re making one of your favorites — Cacio e Pepe,” Mom explains.
Zach begins to grate Pecorino, while Elijah tackles the Parmigiana. Dad gathers ingredients to make fresh pasta with, Hunter begins to chop salad ingredients, and Mom appears to have started making Parmigiana di Melanzane, another one of my favorites. Valeria, on the other hand, just holds up a bottle of red wine that I happen to really love, and she grins at me as she pours glasses for me, Mom, and herself.
“How have you been?” she asks as she lifts herself onto my kitchen counter, like she usually does.
I swirl my wine and stare at my glass for a few moments. “I don’t know,” I admit. Grief comes and goes in waves, and I often forget my grandmother isn’t here anymore, until I pick up my phone to call her, or I begin to get ready for our weekly family dinner, only to get to her house and find my family sitting together quietly, none of us willing to let go of the tradition. They haven’t said a thing about Xavier’s absence, but they know he’s been waiting in front of my house every single night, forgoing every other commitment for it, including, apparently, poker night.
I was so sure that I wanted a divorce when I had the papers drawn up, convinced Xavier didn’t love me the way he claimed he did. I felt like I’d been going crazy, like my memories of us just weren’t quite right, because I struggled to reconcile the man that had distanced himself from me with the man I’d fallen in love with. I’d been certain Xavier would sign the papers in a heartbeat, that he’d just been staying with me for my grandmother’s sake, but he’s still here, he’s still showing up weeks later. Every single night, he waits for hours, never leaving until my bedroom lights turn off. I don’t know what to make of him, and I can feel myself being swayed.
“It’s okay to not be okay,” Valeria says. “Healing takes time, Sierra.”
I nod and take a sip of my wine. “I guess that’s exactly what I’m doing.” I’m trying my best to heal from losing people I lost, in different ways. It’s almost easier to mourn the dead, since it’s finite, and I get to cling to only the best memories. It’s tougher to mourn the loss of a relationship, to face the what-ifs, the endless wondering if it was something I did, and what it was about me that made him give up on me when he promised me forever. I never made him doubt my commitment to him, made it clear his absence was hurting me, and even so, he continued to destroy everything we’d so painstakingly built — our trust, our happiness, the intimacy between us, and even the open communication we’d fought for.
“Dinner is ready,” Dad shouts, and I glance over to find that Mom has already set the table. I should’ve been helping, but instead, I’ve just been sitting here, lost in my own thoughts.
I’m oddly nervous as I approach the table, my heart hurting as I look at the faces of all the people I thought would be family forever. “This won’t change my mind about Xavier,” I say carefully. “I don’t want him to join for dinner either.”
Mom looks surprised. “Good,” she says. “He isn’t invited, and we aren’t here to change your mind, Sierra. We’re just here because we love you.”
I bite down on my lip to keep it from quivering, but I can’t stop the tears gathering in my eyes. Someday, when Xavier eventually remarries, they’ll all love another woman this way, and the thought of losing them too breaks what’s left of my heart.
Valeria wraps her arm around me and pulls me to her, hugging me tightly. “Don’t cry,” she pleads. “We’re here to make you feel better, not to make you cry.”
I smile through my tears and try my best to pull myself together, and they all throw me understanding smiles, proceeding with dinner like they somehow knew that’s exactly what I needed. Zach laughs at me as I choke down a big bite of pasta, tears still streaming down my face, and Hunter raises a brow as he looks at my plate. “Do you want some pasta with your cheese?” he asks, and just like that, I’m smiling again.
They don’t let me lift a finger as they clean up after dinner, and Mom smirks at me as she walks over with one of the boardgames I keep in the living room, clearly not at all intending to go home just yet, and I’m beyond grateful for it. Somehow, she must’ve known that I wasn’t ready for them to leave so soon.
“What’s this?” Elijah asks, holding up the bag of cookies Xavier made me. I watch as he holds up one of them — one that’s decorated with an X and a S on it, in pink and white, and he shrugs as he bites it in half. For a moment, I imagine what Xavier’s face would look like if he’d seen his brother do that, and I can’t help but laugh, my heart feeling a little lighter for the first time in weeks.