The Darkness We Hide

Michelle drove as quickly as she could on the bumpy dirt road. Alice’s moans were getting louder and more frequent as the minutes passed by.

“We’re almost home,” she said over her shoulder, trying to sound strong and positive, though she felt anything but.

“Just breathe, one, two, three,” Bella counted, keeping track of the contractions. “And down two, three, four.”

“Good job,” Bella praised Alice as the contraction ended.

“Oh thank God,” Michelle said, seeing the house just over the horizon. “We’re almost there.”

Skidding to a halt on the gravel, she jumped out of the car seeing Louise sitting on the front porch chatting with… Nancy?

Pushing her confusion aside, she hurried forward pointing back to the car.

“Alice is having her baby,” she panted, before rushing back to help the young mother struggle out of the backseat.

“We’ll get Alice into the house,” Nancy said, taking Alice by the elbow. “Go into the house and get Gareth and Phillip.”

“Gareth’s here?” Michelle asked, her knees beginning to buckle as the blood drained from her face.

“Yes,” Louise said, moving up to support her. “No fainting, not yet. Go into the house and tell them what’s going on. After that, faint away. Now go!”

Stumbling her first few steps, Michelle found her footing and hurried into the house calling for both men. She finally found Gareth and Phillip together in the office, going over some paperwork with Hugo.

“Alice… is… having… her… baby,” she panted, suddenly out of breath. “Bella, Louise and Nancy are getting her out of the car.”

Gareth stood dumbfounded, staring at her, like he hadn’t heard a word while his brother dropped everything and rushed from the room.

What was she doing here of all places?

With an elbow to the ribs from his father, he came to his senses and raced out of the room.

They found the group of women helping Alice up the stairs, the young woman’s face contorted in pain.

“Sweetheart,” Phillip said, trying to get to her through the crowd of women.

“It’s okay, honey,” Alice breathed, sweat pouring down her cheeks as she finally made it over the last step.

“Alright Alice,” Louise said, edging ast the group to open a bedroom door. “We have everything ready. You’ve been through this before, so I’m just going to take your lead.”

“Okay,” she replied, a pained smile on her face.

“Give us some privacy,” Louise said, herding everyone else out of the room after the young woman was finally on the bed.

“Coffee anyone?” Nancy asked as the door closed behind them.

“Screw coffee,” Bella replied, “I need a good shot of rum.”

“I’m in,” Hugo said, leading the way into the parlor.

Family members began filing into the house as the hours passed, adults and children, milling around room to room waiting for news of the birth. While the adults enjoyed their drinks, talking about the new baby, the children played board games and cards, acting as if a home birth was an everyday occasion.

Michelle sat and listened, straining to hear any sound from the room upstairs. Would they expect her to give birth here too?

‘Not a chance,’ she thought. ‘I want drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.’

“Read me story, Elle,” a gap-toothed toddler said, walking up to her with a much loved, slightly sticky book.

“Alright, Annie,” Michelle replied, pulling the child into her lap.

Of all of Gareth’s innumerable nieces and nephews, Annie was by far her favorite. She was Bella’s youngest daughter, and from the moment Michelle had set foot in the house, Annie had become her shadow.

The two of them sat cuddled together while Michelle read and re-read the story of the hungry caterpillar, until the little girl fell asleep in her arms.

Putting the book aside, she rested her cheek on the child’s curly brown locks. It was only now, as she herself began to doze that Louise emerged in the doorway, clearing his throat to get everyone’s attention.

“It’s a beautiful boy,” she said to roccous cheers. “Alice is doing just fine. Phillip asked if Hugo would come back with me and the boys. We’re just going to give Alice twenty minutes or so to get cleaned up.”

“You look tired,” Hugo said, rising and moving to embrace his wife.

“Not me,” Louise laughed, looking up at her husband. “Alice did all the hard work.”

“Well,” Hugo said, embracing the woman he loved. “After we’ve all had a short visit with the little one, we’ll have some dinner.”

Michelle sat quietly holding Annie tight as the family took turns visiting Alice and Phillip, not knowing what she should do. As the numbers began to dwindle, she began to feel exposed and uncomfortable.

Bella moved through the throng, a broad smile on her face.

“Hungry Caterpillar again?” she asked, lifting the sleep toddler from Michelle’s lap.

“Yeah,” Michelle laughed, handing over the book. “Only took five times through to get her to sleep.”

“I don’t know how you do it,” Bella replied, accepting the book with the tips of her fingers. “I could read this until I was hoarse and she wouldn’t sleep a wink.”

“She has a way with people,” Gareth said, startling both women.

“Sorry,” he apologized, seeing how much he’d frightened them.

“It’s alright,” Bella said, hugging her brother-in-law with one arm. “I’m just glad you were here.”

“Nancy dragged me back,” he said chagrined.

“Still nice to have you around,” Bella replied, “Your folks missed you.”

“I know,” Gareth nodded, turning to talk to Michelle, but she was gone.

Looking around, he saw her slipping out through the front door. Afraid, she meant to run away from him again, he excused himself to Bella and followed her out.