The Darkness We Hide

“Again,” Louise said as Michelle shifted back to her human form.

“I can’t,” Michelle gasped, holding a stitch in her side as she knelt in the dirt. “I’m too tired.”

“Alright,” Louise sighed. “I guess I have been pushing you hard enough the last few weeks. Let’s take a break.”

Wiping sweat from her face, Michelle stood and made her way to a bail of hay in the corner of the barn. She, Louise, and Hugo had been back in Montana over six weeks ago and every day brought a new lesson.

Louise had been right about her and her husband's blood connection to Gareth helping ease the pain of their separation. Instead of the head splitting, joint cracking, muscle spasming ball of agony, she was able to maintain a dull ache throughout her body with the help of ibuprofen.

All of the exercises Louise insisted she do everyday helped keep her from really thinking about it either. By the end of the day she was usually so exhausted that she fell sleep when her head hit the pillow.

Today was shifting form on the fly, and it was by far the hardest lesson she’d had to learn.

Still panting, Michelle sprawled across the tightly bound square of hay, her body aching from the morning’s lesson. While she was getting better at shifting forms it still took a lot out of her and she knew she’d have to let her body rest a while before she’d be able to move again.

Now that she understood how her senses had been enhanced, the world seemed brand new. Colors were more vibrant, food tasted better, even flowers smelled better. With the family’s help she now knew the full extent of her strengths and weaknesses. In the last month and a half she’d explored the ranch in both human and wolf form, amazed by how different everything looked through an animal’s eyes.

“Here,” Louise said, handing her a bottle of water, “this will help.”

Sipping it, Michelle enjoyed its freshness for just a moment before her stomach revolted and she threw up onto the hay strewn floor.

“Dammit,” she cussed, wiping dribble from her chin, “I am so tired of this shit. Now I can’t even drink water without vomiting.”

“Stomach upset isn’t unusual post change,” Louise said concerned. “It takes time for a body to get used to the change, but six weeks is too long.

“I think it’s time we take you to the doctor,” Louise said, placing the back of her hand against Michelle’s forehead.

“Maybe you’re right,” Michelle sighed, trying to rinse the taste of bile out of her mouth.

“I’m glad you agree,” the older woman said, handing the young woman a towel. “You have an appointment this afternoon with the family vet.”

“What?” Michelle gasped, spraying a mouthful of water across the room.

“Just kidding,” Louise laughed, patting her on the back. “Dr. Jacobs has been our family doctor for years.

“Go take a shower,” she added, sniffing in Michelle’s direction. “We’ll head out after lunch.

Clean and fresh, Michelle sat at the kitchen table with Louise and Hugo trying to eat, but unable to get anything down except small bits of bread.

“I hope Dr. Jacobs can help you,” Hugo said, concern darkening his usually bright face.

“Me too,” Michelle replied, suppressing a gag. “At this rate, I’m gonna melt my teeth before I get a chance at a good solid meal.”

“Could you help with the little ones this afternoon?” Louise asked her husband as she passed him the pitcher of lemonade. “I’m gonna go with Michelle.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Michelle said, knowing how many things the older woman usually had to take care of. Between the grandchildren, housekeeping, laundry, and making sure there was enough food to feed the herd of people that always appeared for dinner, she knew her time was precious.

“Yes I do,” Louise replied, the tone of her voice leaving no room for argument. “If it turns out there’s nothing to worry about, then at least I had an afternoon away from the ranch, but if there is something wrong I want to be there for you.”

“Thank you,” Michelle sniffed, grabbing the older woman's hand and squeezing it softly.