SWNOVELS Chapter 34: Penance
"Adeline, it's just me!" Heloix shouts, jerking away from my swinging arms.
It takes me a moment to register his words, my heart beating a million miles a minute as I process what's happening around me. Heloix stands next to the opening of the passenger seat, the tall walls of his castle looking imposing in the dark. Concern is written all over his face as he watches me, his arm still wrapped tightly around my stomach holding me in place.
Placing my feet firmly on the gravel, I push his arm off me and stand up, my grogginess making me slow to react.
"I was trying to carry you inside without waking you." He explains, stepping aside as he releases his hold on my waist.
I nod, having figured as much, and begin heading inside. The moon operates as a minor light source as I make my way to the castle, but I still stumble slightly over the gravel walkway. I didn't intend to sleep for so long and am shocked that I didn't wake as Heloix parked the car or opened my door. I'm not upset about it, though, my mind having needed a moment to relax after the whirlwind of a day I had.
The thought of going back to the King's wing makes me nervous as I feel uncertain of what to expect once I am alone once more with Heloix. The space is large enough that I should be able to avoid him easily, but I fear that he will constantly be seeking me out, trying to start a conversation and convince me to forgive him.
The castle is eerily silent as I enter, the dark hallways feeling ominous and unsafe. I've always been careful to stay away during the night, not wanting to risk running into a Beast out prowling for some poor human to grab. Admittedly I know that nothing will happen while Heloix is here, but I'm still cautious to keep quiet and walk against the wall as I make my way to our wing.
Heloix, on the other hand, makes no effort to be stealthy, his boots clinking loudly against the floor behind me and echoing down the corridors. For a moment I contemplate turning and hushing him, but think better of it last minute and remain quiet, opting instead to silently suffer every time his foot makes contact with the ground.
I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding when we finally made it to our destination, my chest collapsing in relief. While we may have only been gone for two days, my body is reacting like I've been gone for weeks, wanting nothing more than to lay back and relax.
"Are you hungry?" Heloix asks as I enter the living room, our bags dropping from his hands with a loud thud.
Despite the empty ache in my stomach, I shake my head no, not wanting to spend any more time with him than absolutely necessary. I'll make sure to get up early tomorrow and eat breakfast with the humans back in the servant's quarters.
Eyeing the door to my bedroom, I waste no time heading over to it, eager to crawl into bed and be alone. The second I begin walking I hear loud footsteps behind me, and the next thing I know Heloix is in front of me with darkened eyes blocking my path.
"How long do you plan to ignore me for?" He growls, chest puffing out as he speaks.
I let out a quiet sigh at his question, bringing my bottom lip between my teeth and nervously chewing on the skin. The last thing I want is to push him too far and force out his Beast, but he takes it two steps too far every time I ease up on him.
"I'm not ignoring you." I eventually say, clasping my hands behind my back and rocking back slightly on my heels. "I'm just not interested in speaking to you."
Heloix moves forward a step as he absorbs my response, his large frame hovering over me in a way that would typically bring excited goosebumps to my skin. As much as I try not to think about it, my body lets out a slight shiver at his proximity, my brain happy that such a powerful man is fighting for me,
"I'm your mate just as much as you're mine." He murmurs, lifting his hand and grazing his fingertips across my cheek. I don't immediately pull away, and Heloix takes that as a sign to continue, his hand moving to push back my hair and tucking the loose strands behind my ear.
A small part of me wants to move into his hand and enjoy the touch, but I shove that part of me down. Moving back, I pull my face away until his hand falls back to his side. He frowns at my reaction to him but otherwise remains silent.
"I don't have a mate."
My words are meant to hurt, but I can't help the shock of regret that shoots through me as Heloix face falls, his shoulders hunching forward slightly. It's a drastic change from his typical haughty composure, making me wish to take the words back right away.
Despite my anger towards him, my intentions aren't to bring him pain like he has brought me.
"Someday you will regret saying such mean words to me." He says, stepping back slightly.
I shrug slightly in response, unwilling to apologize for my statement. "Someday you will regret treating me like shit."
Heloix's eyes narrow at my words, his pupils dilating as he tries to rein in his anger. A slight shiver of fear rushes through me, but I quickly taper it down, telling myself that if he wanted to hurt me that he would have done so already.
"I already do, Adeline. That's what I've been trying to tell you." Heloix explains, his words followed up with a deep rumbling as his Beast expresses his displeasure.
I'm sure it goes against his nature to admit regret, his Beast visibly unhappy with being backed into it. I wonder if he would even bother if I weren't his mate. Probably not.
"Yeah, well you chose to regret it too late." I snap.
Feeling both hurt and frustrated, I shove past Heloix, my shoulder painfully bumping against his arm as I make my way to my bedroom. I'm fully aware that the shove will bring him no pain and will only serve to hurt me, but it's effective in getting my point across.
My feet stomp against the floor as I make my way across the room, mildly embarrassed by my childish temper tantrum. Heloix's hand comes out and grips my arm just as I reach the entrance to my room, his large palm wrapping tightly around the muscle.
I spin around to face him, my eyes hard as I wait for him to tell me what he wants. His other hand comes up to grip me as well, holding me firmly in place as his eyes bore into mine.
"Tell me what I can do to make this right."
Heloix smiles at my lack of rebuttal, his knees bending so he is closer to eye level with me. Even hunched over he is still taller, but it does the trick and helps to settle my racing heart.
"Tell me what I can do to earn your forgiveness. Then we can discuss and determine what is feasible." He explains, hands sliding down my arms until they rest at my wrists.
I glance down at my arms, eyeing his hands wrapped loosely around them. His thumb rests against the center of my palm as he waits for my response, the digit rubbing reassuringly against me.
Holding my head up high, I square my shoulders and look Heloix in the eye. "I want you to treat the humans as equals, and I want you to stop acting as if I am some huge secret that you are ashamed of."
Heloix sighs at my request, his right hand releasing my wrist to push back at his hair, the curls wild and unkempt after the long day of traveling. I watch the motion carefully, feeling guilty as I admire him. My stomach twists in my gut as his tongue pops out and wettens his lips, and I hope desperately that he can't sense my thoughts.
"Those are long-term projects." He murmurs, hand returning to its position only wrist. "Is there anything else?"
"No." I quickly respond, stepping back and putting some space between us. "I won't forgive you until they are done."