The Bonus

Beep…beep…beep…beep.

Grace’s heartbeat monitor sounds softly through the darkened room, and I sit beside her with mine in my throat.

If they hooked me up to the machine, I’m not sure my heart would sound so steady.

She has a tube and pipes coming out of her and two black eyes, the lump on the front of her forehead so big and already purple.

Grace fell down twenty-two concrete steps tonight…running from me.

She has a badly broken wrist that needs surgery, perhaps also her ankle, although it’s too swollen to tell at this stage, but it’s her head that they’re worried about.

She was knocked out cold, the swelling on her brain so bad that they had to put her into an induced coma.

What if she has a critical brain injury and never recovers?

It’s 3 a.m., and intensive care is a lonely place where people are fighting to survive, not only the ones in the beds, the people sitting beside them are fighting too.

For me…it’s demons.

“Instead of you sticking my cock up my ass…I’m going to stick it up theirs, and they’ll moan on every fucking inch of it.”

I’m filled with disgust.

What is wrong with me. If I hadn’t chased her…she wouldn’t have slipped.

My phone lights up.

Graham Messing

Ahh, the neurosurgeon who I got to look at her scans.

“Hello.”

“Hi, is that Gabriel?”

“Yes.”

“This is Graham Messing. Sorry I took so long to get back to you. I’ve just gotten out of surgery.”

“It’s okay,” I stammer. “Did you look at the scans?”

“Yeah, I did. She’s taken a nasty hit.”

I close my eyes as I wait for his next comment.

“Look, as far as I can see, what the local doctors there are telling you is on the money.”

I listen intently.

“There’s substantial swelling, but it appears that she hasn’t suffered a subarachnoid hemorrhage or a stroke. Her brain activity is normal.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that at this stage, all signs point to the fact that there appears to be no significant long-term damage. However, as you know, she didn’t respond to the medication last night, and as there was no evidence of a bleed, the doctors chose to put her into an induced coma. All brains recover differently, and given the information the doctors had at hand, I believe they did the right thing.”

“Why hasn’t she woken up yet?”

“It takes time. I’ll call her doctor and suggest that they start to reduce the coma induction in another six to eight hours. We need that swelling to go down to give her the best chance.”

“Okay.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “What about her ankle and wrist?”

“Don’t worry about them, she’s not moving, so she can’t do more damage there. They both pale in comparison to a brain injury. That is our only concern at this stage.”

“Right.”

“She’s in no immediate danger and in good hands. The induced coma is giving her time to rest and heal, but as you know, every case is different, so the times and outcomes will vary.”

I nod as I try to process what he’s telling me. “Okay.”

“I’ll check back in with you in the morning. I suggest you go home and get some sleep.”

“Okay, thank you, Doctor.” I hang on the line for a beat. “I appreciate you looking over things for me.”

“Speak tomorrow.” He hangs up, and I immediately text Debbie.

Hi Debbie,

the specialist neurosurgeon just called.

He confirmed what the doctors here said,

she hasn’t had a bleed on her brain and

activity looks normal.

He thinks once the swelling goes down she will be okay.

A message bounces straight in.

Thank god

Why isn’t she awake then?

I reply.

He said that the induced coma gives her brain a chance to rest and recover.

That they will reduce it in the morning.

I watch the dots as she types.

Fingers crossed

I reply.

Are the kids okay?

Yes, sleeping sound.

I’m glad they didn’t see her after the fall.

Me too.

Thanks so much for having them.

I’ll call you as soon as I know something.

Try and get some sleep

Xox

I let out a low, steadying breath as I stare at my love.

I brush her hair back from her forehead. Her bruised and beaten-up face feels so broken. Did she hit every fucking step on the way down?

She must have.

“When you wake up, I’m going to kill you for being so clumsy,” I whisper. “You didn’t have to be all dramatic and throw yourself down the stairs to get out of an argument.” I keep stroking her hair. “We both know you would have won, anyway.”

Beep…beep…beep…beep.

Her silhouette blurs. “Please wake up.”

“What’s wrong with my hand?” a sleepy voice whispers.

I wake with a start, my head resting on the bed as I sit beside it. “Grace.”

She frowns as she looks me over.

“You’re awake, baby.” I smile. I reach over and buzz for the nurses. “Oh, thank god you’re awake.” I push the hair back from her bruised face and hold her to me. “I’ve been panicking all night.” I pull back to look her over and she frowns at me.

“Who are you?”

My world stops spinning…

“What?” My eyes widen in horror. “You don’t remember me?”

“I wish I didn’t,” she mutters dryly. “What are you doing, Gabriel …and why the hell is my hand hurting so much?”

I pull her into a hug and smile into her hair. “Never been so happy to hear you be a smart-ass, Gracie.”

The nurse appears at the door. “Hello, Grace. How are you feeling?”

I step back out of their way and she begins to check her vitals. I message Debbie.

She’s awake

And so far okay.

My phone immediately rings. “Hi, Deb,” I answer.

“She’s awake?”

“Yes,” I whisper as I walk out into the corridor. “She’s being a smart-ass and everything.” The doctor walks past me into the room.

“Thank god. Can I bring the kids up?”

“Let me find out what’s happening, she’s still hooked up to a lot of machines, and I’m assuming there will be further testing. I’ll call you as soon as I know anything.”

“Okay, thank you.”

I hang up and walk back into the room to see the nurse looking into her eyes with a flashlight The doctor is talking to her.

“You took a nasty fall; you’re in the hospital. Do you remember what happened, Grace?”

“Um.” She frowns, and her eyes find mine across the room. “We were dancing.”

“Yes.” I nod in excitement. “We were dancing.”

“And then.” She frowns as she thinks. “Where are the kids?”

“They’re at Debbie’s.”

She nods.

“You have a broken wrist that needs surgery and an ankle we need to do some more x-rays on. How is your pain? On a level of one to ten, how would you rate it?”

“Twelve,” she grumbles. “My head hurts.”

“We’ll get some pain relief organized, and once you’ve had your x-rays, you can have something to eat and drink, how does that sound?”

“Thank you.”

They both leave the room and I sit down beside her on the bed and take her good hand in mine. “You scared the hell out of me.”

“Hmm.” She frowns.

I lift her hand to my lips and softly kiss the back of it. “You think I’m dramatic, only you could hit every step on the way down.”

She looks me over…

“What?” I ask.

“You look like shit.”

I break into a broad smile, there she is. “You don’t look so hot yourself.”

Over the next hour, they unhook her machines and get her pain under control as I sit in the corner and watch on. “X-ray will be up soon to take you down, okay?”

She nods. “Thanks.” The nurse disappears and she looks around.

“What’s wrong?”

“I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Umm. I’ll call the nurse back.”

“No. I’m not using a pan, I’ll wait.”

“I’ll carry you in.”

“No.”

“Grace.” I widen my eyes. “You need to let me help you.” I reach down and pick her up like a bride. I carry her into the bathroom and carefully sit her down on the toilet.

“Okay, go out now.”

“What?”

“You’re not standing there watching me pee.”

“Grace…I’ve licked your asshole, I’m pretty sure I’m good with a tinkle on the toilet.”

“Eww.” She screws up her face. “Get out.”

I go and wait outside the door and look around the hospital room. What’s taking so long? “You okay in there?”

“Yes.”

“Can I come in?” I wait some more. “Are you ready?”

“Ugh…yes.”

I walk back in and pick her up, her cotton hospital gown is gathered on her lap. “I need to wash my hand.”

I carry her to the sink and she catches sight of her face in the mirror and gasps at the bruising. “Oh my god.”

“Did a good job of it, you clumsy oaf.”

I turn the tap on and she holds her hand under the water. “Can you go and get the kids?”

“Deb’s bringing them up this afternoon, let’s just get you sorted first, okay?”

I carry her back to the bed and carefully lay her down, and she winces. “What’s wrong with my hand?”

“Your wrist is broken and you need it pinned, we’ll know more after the x-rays.”

Her eyes well with tears, her injuries obviously overwhelming her.

“Hey.” I sit down on the bed beside her. “Don’t worry. You’re going to be okay.” I cup her face in my hand. “It’s all going to be over soon and you’ll be all better.”

“I don’t have time for a broken wrist, Gabe.”

“Shh. Let’s just be grateful that a broken wrist is the extent of it.” I lower her bed. “Why don’t you try and get some rest?”

Grace

The battle to keep my eyelids from closing is steep.

These pain meds are good, but boy, do I feel zonked. Gabriel is sitting on the chair in the corner; he hasn’t left my side. And as much as I’m telling him to go home, I’m kind of glad he’s ignoring me. It’s nice to have someone here with me because I’m beginning to realize what a wimp I am. I feel teary, weak, and vulnerable.

“Where are the kids?” I whisper.

“They’ll be here this afternoon,” he replies softly.

“Poor things, they must be so scared.”

He gets up and comes and sits beside me on the bed. “They’re okay, Debbie is taking good care of them. You should rest, you need to sleep to be able to heal.”

He puts his hand on my shoulder, and the warm contact instantly relaxes me and my heavy eyelids win.

“You like that?” he asks softly.

I nod sleepily.

“I’ll sit here while you sleep, my love.”

“Mmm.”

I turn my face to the side so that it’s resting up against his arm.

His presence is comforting; it dulls the pain and calms my nerves.

I feel heavy and heavier… Floating… Peaceful.

“Mom!”

“Sshh,” Gabriel’s hushed voice whispers. “Mommy’s sleeping.”

“Oh no, look at her face,” Debbie whispers. “Poor thing, it looks so sore.”

“She’s okay,” Gabriel’s calming voice replies. “She’s going to be good as new soon.”

It’s like my body’s asleep but my mind is awake. I can hear what they’re saying but am too tired to open my eyes or reply.

“Grandma,” I hear Lucia call, a commotion, and hugs.

“Oh, you sneaky devils.” Debbie laughs.

“We were on the first flight this morning.”

Mom and Dad are here. I battle to open my eyes.

“Gabriel,” my mother’s voice says in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“Ahhh. Kids, why don’t you go out to the vending machine and grab us all a snack.” I hear him handing over coins.

“Yay.” The kids run down the corridor.

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Porter,” Gabriel says. “It’s been years since I saw you both, I believe you visited the office a few times while visiting Grace back in the day.”

“I’m confused,” my father says. “What are you doing here?”

“So…” He pauses. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to come out with it. I’m the twins’ biological father.”

“What?” Mom snaps. “That’s not true, the children were conceived through donor sperm.”

“Ahh,” Deb’s voice interrupts.

“Grace and I dated in secret while she worked for me.”

“For how long?” my father snaps.

“Over a year. We were in love.”

What?

“She didn’t want to stay in New York and I didn’t want to leave. We broke up and she moved here. Not long after, she found out she was pregnant.”

“She would have told us,” Mom replies. “There is no way she would have lied to us for all these years. Grace would never lie to us, you’re lying.”

“I made her swear to secrecy,” he says. “It was against company policy for us to date, and I begged her not to tell.”

“It’s true,” Debbie says softly.

Mom gasps.

“We’ve recently reconnected and have been trying to work things out.”

“What?” Mom replies. “Why wouldn’t she have told us?”

“She was protecting me,” he says.

“Oh my god,” Mom whispers. “I can’t believe this.”

“She was going to tell you this week, but now…with the accident,” he continues.

The kids come bustling back into the room.

“Shh, Mommy is sleeping,” Debbie says.

“We’ll take them down to the playground,” Mom says. “Let her sleep.” I hear the door close and I battle to open my eyes.

“Why did you tell them that?” Debbie whispers.

“You think Grace wants her parents to know that we had a one-night stand and that she lied to them for all these years?”

“But . . .”

“But nothing, I’ll take the blame. I’m used to being the bad guy, it’s fine.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because…I love her.”

Silence…

They keep talking, but their voices begin to blend into each other.

I struggle with my eyelids, wake up…just open.

The voices slur, the darkness gets darker.

Blah…blah…blah blah blah.

Slumberland drags me back under.

The sun is just setting over the park outside my hospital window. A gentle knock sounds at the door and Gabriel gets up and answers it. “Hello, yes. She’s hungry.”

He stands to the side and the lady wheels in the dinner trolley. “Dinnertime.” She smiles.

I sit up, excited, and Gabriel wheels the table over the bed to sit in front of me.

“We have chicken soup, followed by meat loaf and vegetables, and a bread roll.” She places it all down in front of me. “And fruit salad for dessert.”

Gabriel looks over the food suspiciously. “Can she have something else other than meat loaf?”

“That’s the only option.”

“Hmm,” he replies, unimpressed.

“Meat loaf is fine.” I widen my eyes at him. Stop.

“Would you like water, or lemonade?”

“Lemonade.”

“We’ll take some waters too.” Gabriel gives me the side eye.

She loads it onto the tray and leaves us alone. Gabriel takes the lid off my meal and gets my knife and fork ready.

“You know, you can go home. You don’t need to babysit me.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“How you going to cut up that horse meat loaf with one hand?”

I stare down at the meat loaf. “Horse?”

“It’s dubious for certain.” He leans over me and cuts up my food. “How you going to take the lid off your water?” He unscrews the bottle of water and pours it into the glass.

“I’ve never felt so useless.” I sigh.

“Hmm,” he says, uninterested. “I feel like you’ve been a lot more useless than this before.”

“When?”

“When you used to work for me.”

“Are you kidding me?”

His eyes dance with mischief. “See…if I wasn’t here, who would annoy you?”

I twist my lips to hide my smile and I take a big bite of my meat loaf.

“Appaloosa or stallion?” he asks.

“You’re gross, you know that?”

A knock sounds at the door and Gabriel ducks around the curtain to answer it, he blocks the view so I can’t see.

“Hello,” a man’s voice says.

Jack.

“What are you doing here?” Gabriel replies flatly.

“I came to see Grace.”

“She’s not accepting visitors.”

“I don’t think that’s up to you.”

“I’ll tell her you came by.”

“Is she okay?”

“She will be.”

“You’re really not going to let me in to see her?”

“No, I’m not. Goodbye, Jack.” He closes the door in his face and then comes back in and sits down, totally unfazed.

“Are you serious?” I ask.

“About what?”

“Gabriel…”

“Look, I get that you don’t want to go out with me.” He points to the door with his thumb. “But you’ve got to be fucking kidding me with him.”

I smirk, such an asshole.

An hour later.

“So your wrist surgery is tomorrow, and thankfully your ankle is just ligament damage, so nothing needed there.” The doctor reads my chart.

“Uh-huh.”

“Hopefully you’ll be out in a few days.”

“Yep.”

My parents and Gabriel all listen intently, it’s visiting hours at the zoo.

“Nothing to eat after midnight,” he reminds me.

“Uh-huh.”

“The orthopedic surgeon will be around later tonight to talk about the operation in the morning.”

“Thank you.”

He leaves us alone.

“I’ll organize to take some time off work,” Mom says.

“What for?” Gabriel asks.

“Well, I’ll have to stay and help out. Clearly she can’t live alone and look after the kids.”

“I’ll be staying with her to help,” Gabriel replies.

“I don’t think…”

“You don’t need to think, Mrs. Porter. I’m staying with Grace and helping her with our children.”

“She won’t be able to shower herself or anything.”

“And…” Gabriel glares at my mother. “I’m not sure if you realize how children are conceived.”

“Listen, you two…” I sigh, they’re both getting wound up.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” My mom keeps going.

To be honest, I’m not actually sure I could deal with my mom living with me for a few weeks…and Dad has to work.

“I can assure you that I’m more than capable of caring for Grace,” Gabriel snaps. “I will reorganize my schedule and work from here.”

“I think this is a family matter,” my dad says.

“Exactly, and I’m Grace’s direct family. Our two children need both their mother and father,” he snaps. “I can carry her up and down the stairs to her bedroom. You can’t.”

“No,” my mom interrupts.

“I’m right here, you know.” I snap. “Maybe someone could consult me?”

“Grace. Tell your parents that I’m staying with you until you’re better.”

It is true, Mom can’t carry me up and down the stairs…maybe I could sleep on the couch.

Gabriel raises an impatient eyebrow in a silent warning.

Fine…

“Gabriel will stay with me, Mom, it’s okay, thanks for the offer, though.”

“Are you sure?”

Not really.

Five days later.

Knock, knock.

“Come in,” I call.

The door bangs open and Gabriel and the kids all smile broadly. Gabriel is pushing an empty wheelchair and the two kids are bouncing on the spot.

It’s been the longest nine days of my life.

“Let’s go home.”