The Billionaire Playboy's Regret (Lark and Max)

"Hold on," Lark was stunned at Ollie's accusation. "That's not fair."

"No? Tell me the truth, Lark. Did you or did you not start pulling away from us in high school because you didn't want to be associated with us?"

"Oh my god, Ollie, I was trying to get into university so I could become a lawyer and you kept getting me arrested with your s**t. If you would have wanted to do normal things like normal people, then I wouldn't have backed off. Your idea of a fun time was breaking and entering or going to raves and underage drinking. If you wanted to go to the beach. I was down. If you wanted to go the beach at two in the morning to drink and f**k around with guys or girls, I wasn't so keen. Sue me."

"See. Too good for us."

"No. It wasn't because I was too good, Ollie. You were so busy desperately trying to get your parents' attention by being a precocious asshole, you failed to see the danger you put me in all the time. It was a risk to me and my future. I needed to step back lest I get sucked down into the vortex of your anger and rage. You were angry, Ollie. You were f*****g angry all the time and I was forced to protect myself." Ollie gave a curt nod, "at least I know now where I stood. Max embarrassed you and I put you in danger. How did you even put up with us all those years?" she asked sarcastically. "Oh, wait, I know. You didn't. You f****d off on us."

"That's not fair!"

"You keep blasting about what isn't fair like you don't have to be accountable for the fact you made us all feel we weren't good enough!" Ollie shouted at her. "No f*****g wonder Max never told me he had a crush on you. I would have been ashamed to be in love with someone so f*****g stuck up."

"Is this how you really feel?" Lark's chest ached.

"I'm standing here wondering why he didn't tell me, or he didn't tell you and he probably thought we would have laughed at him." Ollie defended her brother with her arms over her chest furiously staring at Lark, her eyes watering. "You laughed at every one of his mistakes. He didn't make a ton of them but when he did, you were the first one to laugh."

"Not true."

"It is true. Stop behaving holier than thou. You weren't perfect. Do you remember when he was in scouts and Dad was the scout master? Dad made him practice building a fire in the pit out back and you cackled at him every time it went out." "We were seven!"

"When he failed his driver's test the first time? You laughed in the cafeteria and told him it wasn't a big deal because he could simply use one of Dad's drivers for the rest of his life since he was too useless to drive on his own." Ollie lifted an eyebrow, "you weren't seven then."

"It was the same f*****g day he told Mona if he got into my back seat, he'd have to get in the back with the dog too! I was pissed off and I lashed back out. So what?"

"Fine. What about the night we all went to dinner at the sushi restaurant, and he struggled to use the chopsticks and you gave him a fork and told him to stop trying."

"Again, we were seven or eight, Ollie!"

"It speaks to pattern of behavior." Ollie waved her hand at her. "Personally, I think it shows we were all shitty to each other. We were closer than siblings and we spent so much time together all the time we did things to torment and hurt each other without even trying.

Lark narrowed her gaze at her oldest friend and shook her head, "sounds to me like you're trying to justify your own crappy behavior. Gaslighting one-oh-one. You don't like me coming at you or Max so you're trying to make me out to be the bad guy."

"None of us were the bad guy, Lark. You created an environment where the only way Max could interact with you was defensively. You were always on the offense."

"You're insane." She turned her attention back to her painting and shook her head angrily.

"Am I? You're so quick to point fingers but it's all making sense to me. Did it ever occur to you he was hurting too? Do you know he sat in my dorm room sobbing his heart out when you ghosted him?" Lark blinked at the words, tears forming behind her eyes.

"First year of university. You left prom and then told me you were going to another school away from us and refused to talk to him at all. He thought you were mad because he beat up Dylan. He thought you were so in love with the guy that even though Dylan ditched you at prom and then laughed at you in front of a bunch of people, you were angry with Max. He thought the reason you wanted to talk to him on the roof was to tell him off for beating up the guy he thought you were in love with for ages. He has spent the last twelve e years hurting because he thinks you hated him for beating up Dylan. First month at school he sat in my room glaring at my roommate because she wasn't you and then broke down. He cried his f*****g heart out because you ditched us without any explanation. He said if it was what you wanted, he would let you do what you wanted to do. He tried to talk to you so many times over the years, but you would simply leave the room or have Riggs run interference."

"Ollie," she whispered turning around.

"We were both ******g furious with you. I get it. I understand now as an adult why you left because you've explained it but back then, we were both hurt and angry and part of the reason we didn't chase you was because we were pissed. He gave you space because he didn't know how to fix what he thought he did. He couldn't reset Dylan's nose or repair your broken heart, so he stayed away from you. Looking back, I bet he was hurting more because he believed you were in love with Dylan. It makes so much sense now." Ollie ruffled her hair tugging some of her curls straight with tension. "He was in love with you. Thinking you were angry with him for hurting the guy you loved likely broke his heart. I wish now I had told him the truth about why you left."

"He couldn't have been in love with me if he was screwing everything!" she absently wiped a tear off her cheek.

"You know, you two talked about everything yet neither of you talked about the most important thing. Your feelings.

"Because he humiliated me at every opportunity. Could you tell someone you loved them if they made you feel like a piece of s**t?"

"Well, it explains why he didn't tell you," Ollie shot back, looking away from her angrily and staring out the window.

She stared at Ollie and noted for the first time since she cam into the room, Ollie was off. Lark experienced a strange sense of déjà vu from when they were teens and Ollie was hurting and so she would pick fights and lash out at Lark. She exhaled noisily with frustration, "Why are you here Ollie? You're desperate for a fight and I don't know why but it's pissing me off. I'm not your punching bag. Not anymore. If you're going through something talk to me but don't come at me like I'm the enemy." "This isn't about me, Lark. This is about you running away from your feelings and hiding behind your pride. It's about you always thinking you're better than us because you never got into trouble, and you were a goody-two-shoes while we were f**k-ups. It's about you constantly making everyone else the scapegoat t for r you being unable to be brave enough to tell Max how you felt back then. You didn't have to wait until prom night. You could have told him about it any time before then. You chose not to because you're a chicken shit."

"f**k you, Ollie." Lark faced her head on and noted the surprise in her face. "I'm not a sixteen-year-old girl anymore so desperate for my best friend to like me and keep me around I'll put up with your abuse. If you're going to stand here, in my home and tear me to pieces because you're hurting for one reason or another, then don't expect me to stand here and take it the way I did in school. I wasn't perfect when we were kids, but my behaviors ninety-nine percent of the time were almost always in retaliation for the way you and Max made me feel. If you think for one minute, we're going back to the dynamic of using me as your punching bag when you're feeling emotionally fragile, then you can walk right back out the door you came in." She kept her tone cool and didn't raise her voice even an octave as she stood her ground for once. "I am not emotionally fragile," Ollie glowered.

"No? Is it because Max was a breath away from a stroke last night? You're realizing how you could have lost him? Is this why?"

"No!" deep brown eyes flitted angrily in Lark's direction.

Lark thought about it for a moment and then a light bulb went off. "It's the guy. It's the cartel guy you were talking about. You reached out to him to ask the favor about Doug. Let me guess. He's happily married with kids now and you're still stuck in the past of wanting him?"

Ollie grabbed a container of dirty paint water and threw it across the room. "No! It has nothing to do with him. Nothing. I came here because my family needed you last night, Lark. We needed you. We were all out there in the f*****g waiting room expecting you to come out and tell us who was next to go in and you simply bailed. You ran away like you always do, and I realized nothing was changed. You are never going to grow up and be an adult. You just keep running. You ran from me. You ran from Max. You probably ran from your stupid almost rapist. You ran from home. You ran from Doug when he cheated instead of facing it head on. You run and run and run and I'm tired of watching your backside when you f**k off when we need you most!" Ollie screamed the last at the top of her lungs.

She turned on her heel and slammed out of the room, the door banging so hard the entire house trembled with it.

Lark sat on the edge of the stool and rubbed her forehead, her heart aching. She should never have come home. It was becoming a mantra.