SWNOVELS Chapter 11
"Want to talk about it?" Ollie asked her the next morning.
"I want to talk about why you're at your parents house again," Lark shot her friend a sideways glare as she drew a brush through the paint and returned it to the canvas in front of her. Her mother and sister had shoved her into the studio she had once used over the garage and told her not to come out until she was ready to talk about why she left the hospital without snapping someone's head off.
"I'm not at their house, I'm at your parent's house." She grinned cheekily and tugged her ponytail. Taking in her friend's angry scowl and the way she wiped a wayward tear off her cheek she sat on the edge of the stool and wrapped her arm around her. "Hey, Lark, come on. What did my fucker of a brother do to make you bail and cry into your paint?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"You sure? Because this morning my mother messaged me to say Max checked himself out of the hospital stating he couldn't fix things with you if he was trapped in there."
She threw her hand up in the air, paint flying towards the ceiling as exasperation fueled her fury. "Did you know he had the gall to tell me last night the reason he was a total dickwad to me all through school was because he was jealous, I flirted with other boys?"
"What?" Ollie pulled her lips back. "Max said he was jealous?"
"Yup. Then gave me grief for not telling him I had a crush on him. Fucker." She dabbed her paintbrush into the red and couldn't stop thinking of the way his blood had dripped the night before onto the floor in the hospital. "I mean if he had a crush why didn't he say anything!"
"Whoa," Ollie held her hands up in shock, "he's suggesting he liked you, as in romantically? My brother?" "Yup. He suggested it. Didn't confirm it. Said he was jealous of me flirting."
"Huh, why didn't he tell me?" Ollie appeared truly perplexed at the notion her brother had never told her how he felt. She grabbed her phone and started typing away.
"What are you doing?" Lark turned to face her angrily.
"I want to know why he never told me he had a thing for you. He is my twin. He tells me everything. Heck, I knew the first time he ever got blown and how grossed out he was when Cindy Marrs puked on him from gagging on his come."
"Ew!" Lark shrieked and jumped away from Ollie. "Don't tell me this s**t. Nobody wants to know."
"That's right. Nobody wants to know yet he told me all of his s**t. Why did he not tell me he was jealous of you flirting with boys?"
"Because he lied?" Lark spat angrily. "He's trying to justify his shitty behavior and the fact he was the worst friend on the planet by lying now."
"Now hold on," Ollie stood up and faced her, "he was a jerk sometimes but no worse than we were. We all joked around, Lark."
"Really? I don't recall making either of you the laughingstock of the school. Nobody called you Max's pet b***h for months. Nobody called you Ollie's punching bag or side chick. The pair of you used me as a scapegoat all the time."
Ollie nodded. "So now I'm lumped in with his s**t behavior?"
"Come on Ollie. You were the only person who got me arrested three times in high school. Three. Whenever you and some girl or guy would break up, I was the one you were mean to for weeks. You were never one to cry on my shoulder but damn, could you use me vent in every other way. Hell, I asked you
one day in the cafetería if you were okay after you and the emo chick split, and you dumped my entire tray of food on me. The entire school laughed."
Ollie looked away swallowing and fisting her hands together as if struggling to control her temper.
"I can't do this," Lark pushed her hair off her face frustratedly. "I thought coming home to lick my wounds from the s**t Doug did was a good idea but it's not. It's the worst one I've ever had. It's dredging up memories I didn't want and it's making me angry, and I don't want to fight with you."
"What about the memories you do want, or are there none?" Ollie asked quietly moving to stand and look out the window." Are all the memories of us as friends, shitty ones? Do you really have no good ones, Lark?"
She exhaled loudly at the question, "yeah, I have good ones, Ollie."
"I bet they outnumber the bad ones."
"It's not about quantity, its about quality," she argued. "I remember the bad ones more because they hurt. Eventually all the good ones were tainted by bad and I'm sorry Ollie, but I try really hard not to think of how we were in middle and high school. I focus on the friendship we built in Houston after college but the past, I need to leave it there.
Ollie shook her head at her, and Lark was stunned to see the tears in her eyes.
"You were my best friend, Lark. The person who I considered closer than my own sisters. I never knew my behavior was hurting you because you never talked about it to us. You just pulled away from us. You might think all the memories are tainted but my memories are the best and I'm not going to allow you to say they are buried. I love you but you're being a selfish b***h right now."
"Excuse me?"
"You don't get to cut us off and forget us because things got a bit weird for a bit. We're family. We stick by each other, and work s**t out. I get the stuff with Max. I do. You loved him and he treated you bad, but you forget all the good he did too. You forget he was the one at every one of our swim meets, cheering us on. He came to ever soccer game, even though he hated sports. He took up jogging with us, even though he hated running. He was your D&D dungeon master for eight years and we had lots of laughs and fun. Hell, we played the week before prom, and you laughed so hard while we played you snorted soda out your nose." Ollie approached her and put her hands on her shoulders, "you remember all the crap things we went through but you're forgetting all the fun and love we have."
"I don't forget," she protested weakly.
"No?" Ollie shook her head. "Every birthday for seventeen years we spent together. Our eighteenth you were off in Mississippi with your mom checking colleges. It was the first one we missed. Do you know what Max and I did? We went into the treehouse, got drunk, and complained how it wasn't the same without you." She squeezed her, "he has a drink for you on every birthday. He used to spend hours picking out your gifts. He used to sit on the porch and wait for us to get home when we went out with the girls. He used to sleep in your bed to make sure you didn't have bad dreams after we watched horror movies. Even when your Dad tried to put a stop to it, he'd crawl through the window."
Lark wiped the tears off her cheeks at Ollie's words. "Yeah, he did all those things but each time he did, there was a cost associated, Ollie. One day he was sweet Max and the next he was telling anyone who would listen I was nothing to him." "Hanging onto all this anger isn't good for you, Lark."
"It can't be worse than holding out hope I meant something to someone only for him to ditch me at every opportunity." "He didn't." Ollie argued. "Okay, yes, there were times he ditched us both, but he still hung out with us all the time. The fact is, you weren't exactly the best friend either Lark or you were hard to be around. He needed a break lots of times and so did I." Ollie stepped back and stared hard at her. "What?" she was stunned at Ollie's words.
"You're standing here telling us how shitty we were as friends, well, let me point out a few of your less than lovely characteristics. You were a f*****g downer. Every party, every get-together, concert, you would put on your cranky face and be so worried about getting caught, or grinding at us about our behavior, you sucked the life out of the room.
You were judgemental as hell. Every single person I dated in high school thought you were a stuck-up b***h. In fact, one guy said you acted like you were the one with billionaire parents because you were so snooty. You were a snitch like no other. Max and I got into more trouble because you snitched to Riggs than we ever did getting caught on our own.
At some point, Lark, you changed from being part of our trio and in on everything to behaving like you were too good for us. Yet, whenever anyone said anything or insulted you or talked behind your back about what a pretentious b***h you were, it was us, me and Max and Johan who jumped to your defense every time. Do you know how many fistfights Max and I got into with others because we were defending you?"
"You thought I was a pretentious b***h?"
"You were. You are!" Ollie waved at her. "We don't care because we love you anyway. Jesus. You don't get it, Lark. We love you despite all your shortcomings. You're not perfect but we love you anyway because it's always been us. It really sucks to know you never felt the same. You couldn't look past our missteps or fuckups because you were too good for us."