The Axelridge Series Book 4 Griff's Red Card

GRIFFIN

‘Thank god. I don’t know what to do. He won’t talk.’

‘How long has he been here?’

‘3 hours. He’s just been laying there. Finn, talk to him.’

‘Okay. Uh…Take the kids upstairs.’

I hear them whisper in the front hall as I lay on my back with my legs in the air and tossing a soccer ball with my trainers.

I walked around all night and stopped by my Jeep for a ball. I’ve been dragging this fecking thing around with me until well past sun up. If I had a stadium, I’d be there. Eventually, I got tired of walking and ended up at Finn's.

I roll the ball down my shin and stop it with my other foot at my knee then push it back to roll it down my other shin then toss it and catch it with my laces.

Ivy’s accusations burn my insides as I rest my hands behind my head and watch the football go up and down.

How dare she suggest I’d break her heart after everything we've been through.

I roll it on my feet as Finn comes into my peripheral vision and sits in a chair by my head.

“Griff?...You ok?” He asks.

“Grand, mate. Just grand.” I mumble.

“Ok. Then why are you de-stressing?” He glances at the ball and back at me.

I sniff with the wipe of my nose. “Just need to.”

“Why on my couch?” He asks.

“Nowhere to go.” I bounce the ball on the ball of one foot then on the other.

“Why not home?” He tries to find my eyes.

I stop the ball between my shoes. “She’s there.” I grumble then continue running the ball in the air.

“She. Ivy? Did something happen?”

“No. Nothing happened. Nothing's ever gonna happen. It’s over.” I kick the ball up and catch it between my shoes.

He stands and takes the ball from me and sits down. I groan and sit up. Slumping back, I pick at my shirt.

“What happened?” He insists.

“She said no.” I mumble to my chest.

“No? To what?”

I lift my eyes to him. “To the question.”

“The question?”

I cinch my brow up and his goes up.

“Oh…” He furrows his brow. “Shit…Griff…I’m sorry. Did she say why? I thought you guys were tight?”

“She doesn’t trust me. She wants to wait until this fecking curse is broken.” I sit up and motion to him. “I told her, ya? I told her. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. I won’t break our bond like that.”

“I get that, Griff. I believe you, but why wouldn’t she?” Finn runs his hand through his thick, dirty blonde hair as he leans back in his chair.

“She thinks I’m like her Dad. That I only see her for her looks and that when the curse hits, I’ll run. I won’t. Finn, I’m not like that.” I whine.

“So, she broke it off?” He asks.

“No. She wanted to wait until the next moon. I broke it off.” I answer as a lump in my throat builds.

“You broke it off because of her trust issues.” He confirms.

“Yep.” I say popping the ‘p'.

“Ok. Have you ever given her reason to not trust you?” He motions to me.

I scrub my hands down my face. “I told her about me fecking red cards.” I groan.

He rolls his head back with a similar groan and shakes his head. “Griffin! There’s shit you tell and shit you keep to the grave! Are you stupid?!” He sits on the edge and leans on his knees.

“I wanted honesty! I…I…didn’t want secrets. I didn’t think she’d use it against me!” I slam both heels of my hands into my eyes and roll my head back.

“You really are a dick.”

I drop my hands and lift my head. “Me? What about her?! She’s the one with no trust. She accused me of running before things even start!” I scowl.

“Can you blame her, Griffin?!” He yells back. “Let’s ignore the fact that you told her you’re a conceited, shallow asshole. She was abandoned as a child by her father. Her mother, same thing. Did you even think once about what that must have done to her? Did you ever consider what kind of insecurities she must have?”

“No. Not really.” I mumble as I sit back not feeling as irritated as I was before.

He leans to me. “Right. Raised knowing your dad left you because her mother wasn’t beautiful anymore. Then to have that mother taken away with no one around to protect them because the man that was supposed to do that job, left.”

I swallow. “I never looked at it that way.”

“I understand you think you got this curse in the bag, I really do. I also understand your reaction. I know how much you love family, but Griff, coming from someone who has severe daddy issues that I battle with every day, it’s not enough.” He says quietly.

“I…I just…” I can’t find the words for how much I fucked up. For the first time in my life I have nothing to say.

I didn’t think I would amp up her insecurities with my confession. I really thought I was just clearing the air. I thought she could handle it. I didn’t mean to make her doubt my commitment to her.

He leans closer to me. “You have a right to be offended. No one’s saying what she did was right. She has trauma to fix. Deep trauma. As the man who loves her, you need to give her the space to do that.”

“I give her a pass then?” I ask.

“No. I’m not saying that either. Ivy needs to find the trust. In order for her to do that, she needs something to trust. Yes, she needs to fix things on her end. I have a feeling she’s the one putting her looks upfront.”

“Aye, she is. Granted, she’s gorgeous to me, but it’s deeper than that.” I explain.

“She’s insecure, Griff, and needs to be able to not focus on physical attributes.” He looks into my eyes. “The two of you need to come together and emotionally connect. You build on that. Don’t talk about looks or anything. Show her the real reason you love her.”

“We need to break this fecking curse!” I hold my face and lay back.

“Curse or not, Griff. I have a really strong feeling this will be an issue for a while. The shit she went through, you don’t just get over. Trust me. I work at it everyday.” His lip ticks up as I nod in agreement.

“Sit down. Talk it out. Don’t throw this away. You were so sure. Ivy needs you more than ever. She needs a hero, Griff. Who else better than you?” He smiles.

“Uncle Giff!!”

“Tristan!”

I turn as I watch the tiny blonde babe bound down the stairs with April behind her.

“Me lass! C'mere!” I smile and hold out my arms to her.

She runs around the couch, pig tails bouncing away, and jumps on me.

“Oof! Yer getting too big!” I laugh as I wrap my arms around her and fall backwards. I give her sides a wee tickle and she laughs while kicking her feet.

I pull us up into a sit, fix her on my lap and straighten her hair. “How are ya, wee bab?”

“I’m fine.” She says as she picks at my necklaces.

“Sorry. She heard you.” April sits on the arm of the chair Finns sitting in.

“It’s grand, mate. Don’t be worrying yer head about it all.” I fix Tristan’s pink dress and dote over her like she’s a precious doll. “She gets more beautiful every day." I smile.

“Thanks.” Finn chuckles.

“Uncle Giff?” She holds my cheeks and directs my head to face her.

“Yes, love.” I chuckle.

She leans her eyes to mine with a sweet but serious baby tone. “Da house had a baff.”

I smile as I hold back even more chuckles. “I know. Ya saw it, did ya?”

“Yep.” She sits straight. “I flewed with daddy…high up da sky…then…we falled down…da houses had baffs and I gotta peanut butter sammich.” She giggles as I watch the little tot animate her story to me with her hands floating around between us.

Watching Tristan tell her story made my heart ache something fierce. I need to show Ivy I’m not giving up on us.

“She loves that story. She tells it to anyone who'll listen.” April giggles.

“So she should.” I smile.

I tilt my head and feel like I’m looking at my own tell an amazing story. “Wow! Ya did all that?” I lean to her. “And a sandwich to boot. Lucky girl. But ya kept yer Benny safe, yeah?”

“Yeah. Mommy helped me. Ben is too big.” She shakes her head and her pigtails fly out from her head.

“That he is, lass. That he is.” I hug her as I chuckle, holding her head to my chest.

I look to Finn and my smile fades. “I need to fix this."

“Go to her. Don’t give up. She doesn’t want to end it with you, Griff. She just needs patience and time.” He advises.

I nod, rest my lips on Tristan’s hair and hold her like she was my own.

I see it. I feel it. I know.

How do I show her?

****

“IVY?!”

I bust through the penthouse door and quickly look around the parts of my apartment I can see. Not seeing her, I rip off my jacket, throw it on the couch and jog to the stairs.

I take two at time as I call out, “IVY, LOVE! WHERE ARE YA?”

I quickly check all the rooms then bounce down the stairs and jog to the downstairs jack. Seeing her not in there, I’m concerned.

I walk to the kitchen and see a piece of paper on the island. I pick it up and read the two words written on it in her hand writing.

‘I’m sorry.’

I drop the paper and look to the door. I pull out my phone, check the time and rush for my jacket. Throwing it on, I head to the door and run through my plan once more.

At this time of day, she’s got to be at the office. I know she has a pile of work there and if I know my Ivy like I think I do, she’s drowning herself in it right now. It’s one of the things she does when she’s upset.

The drive to her office building was painful and frustrating. Routes blocked for construction didn’t make the drive easy, but it gave me the chance to run through everything I was going to say.

I need to tell her what I feel and how I’ve already showed her that I’m not going anywhere.

I slam the Jeep into park and run for the main doors of ClimaTech. Inside, I practically trip over myself at the reception desk.

The brunette behind the desk, stares at me as I catch my breath. “Ivy…White…She’s here, ya?”

“Do you have an appointment?”

I lean my hands on the counter and shake my head. “No. But I have to see her. It’s important.”

“Who are you?” She asks.

I shake my head and roll my eye to hers. “I’m her mate. Rather, I want to be. I fecked up huge and I have to make it right.”

Her face softens and she smiles. “She’s in her office. 40th floor.”

“Thanks, love. I appreciate it.” I smile, tap her counter and break for the elevators.

“GOOD LUCK!” I hear her yell as I hop around some suits to turn the corner.

“Whoop! Hold the door!” I push past some people and shove onto a car.

I catch my breath, fix my hair and smile as I watch the numbers climb in the digital screen.

I glance to a couple of older people staring at me.

“I’m surprising me Ivy.” I point to the numbers.

The lady smiles and nods.

As the floors get closer I lean to her. “I love her.”

“That's nice.” She says.

“She doesn’t think so, but when I’m done, she’ll know.” I scrunch my brow, nod and stand tall with my hands clasped at my thighs.

“She’s very lucky.” The man says.

“Naw, mate. I’m the lucky one.” I grin.

“Well, good luck.” He holds out his hand.

“Thanks.” I give him a quick shake as the floor dings and the door opens. I shove my way through and take off down the hall.

I jog with a little hop in my step, down the halls, looking for her door. As soon as I see it at the end of the hall, I almost bust through it.

“Ivy!”

She’s standing in the middle of her floor looking so goddamn beautiful in a pink business suit with the sun shining in the office windows behind her. I almost feel like her prince rescuing her from the tall tower.

“Griffin.” She breathes as her brows stitch up.

I jog down the small steps to the main floor of her office. “Love. I need to talk and I need ya to listen.” I hold up a hand to her as I tilt my head to her.

“Griffin…”

“No…No, Ivy. Don’t say a word until ya hear me out. Just let me talk.” I start to pace in front of her as she blinks at me.

“Ivy, I’m an eejit. I know. I should've known how you'd feel about my red cards. I should’ve made it clear that I’m not like that anymore. I don’t expect forgiveness for it and ya have all the right in the world to be concerned about that as far as the future goes...”

I stop in front of her. “I’m not proud of what I done. I wish I could change that part of me life, but I can’t. I understand how you could think I would treat ya no different than those other lasses…”

“Griff…”

“Let me talk, love.” I insist as I hold up a hand and stare into her concerned face.

I continue to pace, rubbing my forehead.

“Yes. Ya have a right to not trust me. Yes. I understand yer past left some scarring that can’t be fixed with a simple yes. I know it’s going to take work from both of us. I understand that, but love…” I walk up to her and stare into her eyes. “I need ya to see what yer missing. I love ya, Ivy and I can actually prove it. What makes me different from yer dad and pops and all the rest is, I know. I know, Ivy. I know about the demons, the curse, your grams. I know everything and where am I?”

I cup her cheeks as I lock with her eyes. “I’m here, Ivy. I’ve been saving ya from the very beginning. I never stopped because I love everything about ya.” I smile at her as I pour everything out.

“Not only did I save ya, I saved yer fecking clone. At least, I tried to.” I chuckle as I feel my emotions build. “I didn’t have to, but I love ya so much, I’m willing to risk me neck for yer copy.”

She smiles and I see her eyes well.

“If I was focused on just what ya look like, love, I would have walked away a long time ago. Been done with it. Yer more to me than that. My Ivy girl. Yer not only beautiful on the outside. Yer absolutely stunning on the inside. Ya make me picture a future, Ivy. I see it all. I want to grow old with you. I want that. When I look to me mum and Dad, I see us, love.”

She smiles as a tear runs down her cheek and I wipe it away.

“I want to see ya in grays and wrinkles, ya know why?” I smile as my throat closes.

“Griffin, please…”

“I'm almost done.” I fix her hair and stare into her eyes. “I want to see ya old because that means I made ya so happy ya stuck it out with my crotchety arse.”

She lets out a little whimper and I hold her head up.

“My sweet Ivy. Without you, my future will be empty. Without you, I won’t have anyone to grow old with. If ya beat me to it, well, that just means I got some work to do, doesn’t it?” I laugh as my eyes well.

She huffs a tiny laugh and nods.

I let her go and take a deep breath with a smile. “Alright.” I wipe my face and straighten up. “I said my peace so, ya go right ahead.” I motion to her to respond.

“I…”

“That was really beautiful, Griff.”

I spin around to Alistair and Ivy’s grandmother who step from the back wall. Alistair smirks as he pushes the office door shut.

He steps forward. “I think even I got teary. How about you?”

He turns to Regina and she shakes her head no with a psychotic smile on her face.

He ticks his head. “Oh. I guess not everyone’s a pussy.” He grins at me.

I whip my head to Ivy. “Ya didn’t tell me?!”

“You didn’t give me a chance!” Ivy yells.

“Oh, really! How about leading with…I dunno…IT’S FECKING ALISTAIR!!” I throw up my hands at her.

“I TRIED!”

Alistair ticks his head. “Get them.”

Ivy’s grandmother brandishes a large knife and runs at us, screaming like a crazed banshee.

“IVY! RUN!”