The Axelridge Series Book 1 Finn's Slapshot

BEN-Present Day

“I don’t know. He thinks he’s King shit. I can’t take it.” I walk around my room and slump in my desk chair.

“Just tell him what you think.” My friend Colin says over my head set.

“There’s a guy in a bush on your right.” I say into the mic. “No the other way.”

I hear gunfire and watch as my friends army guy kill an enemy.

“Nice shot.” I say.

“So, are you?”

“Am I what?” I fire on three guys and kill two.

“Gonna tell Finn to stop being your dad?”

I sigh and drop my hands in my lap. “I don’t know. He gives me money and stuff like a dad.”

“Dude. Your dad’s dead. That doesn’t mean any random should come in and take his place.” Colin says.

“Yeah. My mom likes him. He helps her a lot. He helped her quit drinking.” I mumble.

“How? The guy sees you guys 12 times a year. He’s not a dad unless he’s up your ass all the time.”

“He’s a national hockey player. He doesn’t have time for kids.” I state.

“Right. Not a dad. So tell him then he’ll have to leave you alone.”

I look down at my hands and play with my fingers. “You’re probably right.”

“I know I’m right. You coming over?”

“No. Finn wants a man to man. Really, it’s a three hour lecture about how I’m not a good kid.” I walk over to my bed and flop on it.

“I just wish…I wish I could meet him, you know. Just once. I’d ask him why he had to leave me alone. I see his pictures. He’s so cool with all the military junk. I hear mom talk to him sometimes. I try, but it feels weird not getting an answer.”

I roll onto my stomach and rest my head on my arms. “It’s not fair.”

“It sucks dude, but you have your mom and me. That’s all you need.” He says quietly.

I’ve been thinking of my father a lot lately and the more I think about him, the more I want him. The more I think my life sucks because he’s not here. I sometimes dream of having him with me. He can teach me to shoot guns. He can watch my hockey games. He can stop my mom from crying all the time.

“Sometimes I think if he can’t come to me, I could…”

“Dude, don’t…don’t even think it…I’ll kick your ass if you do.”

I roll over and sit up. “It’s just so hard. I don’t know what to do.”

“Ask your mom, Ben. Tell her what’s going on.”

“I can’t. She has enough problems. Besides she’s always working. I’m pretty much alone.”

He sighs. “You could come live with me. We’d be roomies.”

“Right, you talk in your sleep. No thanks.”

“I do not!”

“Yeah, ya do. Sick shit too. Forget it.” I scowl.

“Fine. Don’t say I didn’t ask.”

“K. I gotta go. Finn's is gonna be here soon.” I walk over to my computer and log off.

“OK. Campaign tomorrow. Bring you’re A game.” He informs.

“I always bring my A game.” I rip off my headphones and drop them on my desk.

I stop and lift my keyboard. I pull out a picture I took from one of the photo albums. It’s a man who looks young with my brown eyes and short black hair. He’s holding a newborn baby in his arms with my mom. His smile is so big. He looks so proud. I wish I could remember this.

I swallow the lump in my throat. “Please come back.” I whisper. I run my thumb over his image.

“Ben! Finn’s here!” My mom yells from downstairs.

I look at my door and back at the photo. “I need help.” I mumble. I tuck the photo under my keyboard and grab my Hoodie sweater.

I leave my room and slump down the stairs.

“Hey, Benny.” Finn grins.

“Hey.” I raise my hand in a wave.

“You ready? The pond’s all iced up.” He says. “Grab your skates.”

“K.” I walk to the hall closet and pull out the hockey skates Finn bought me.

I sling the ties over my shoulder and walk back to the door.

"I’ll have him back before supper.” Finn kisses my moms cheek.

“OK. Ben, you want pizza?” She asks.

“Whatever.” I shrug.

“Answer your mother properly.” Finn says in that tone that makes me hate him more.

“Yes, please.” I grumble.

“I’ll order it for supper then.” She smiles. She kisses my hair. “You boys have fun.” She holds the door and we walk out.

“This is good, Benny. We both need this, I think.” Finn unlocks the car and open the back seat.

“Yeah, sure.” I say as I climb in and buckle my belt.

Finn gets in and starts the truck.

We pull out and we drive to the north bridge.

It’s about a two hour drive to the outdoor pond outside a city called Ajax on the Canadian side of the border.

It’s winter and colder up here. We haven’t had a lot of snow and freezing temperatures. A few more cold days and our ponds will freeze over to a safe level. Finn usually brings me here when we have to talk. It resets he says. For me, it seems like a waste. I could be playing games.

We park and he takes out some hockey sticks and a puck. The 25 foot round pond has hockey nets set up at one end for a small game or practice shots.

We walk through the snow to the bank. Finn throws his puck down and steps his skate on the ice.

I stand with my hands in my pockets and my mouth buried in my coat with little white clouds of air coming out of my collar. I’m not exactly a cold weather fan.

He skates around stickhandling the puck. He looks up at me. “Ya coming?”

I sigh, grab my stick and step on the ice. I glide my stick around with one hand. He passes and I make a sloppy catch.

He skates up to me and sides to a stop. His skates shaving the ice. “Come on. We came to play.” He picks up the puck.

“No. You came to talk.” I mumble.

He stops and leans on his stick. “Yes, but I was hoping we could have a bit of fun before we got all serious.

“I’m not feeling it.” I spin around and skate back to the bank. I step into the snow and make my way to the large campfire they have burning. I pick a spot and plop my but into the snow. Moments later I feel Finn walk up beside me. He grabs some wood and throws it into the fire. He sits beside me and rests his arms on his knees.

People are walking around, laughing and having a great time. I see a dad teaching his little kid to skate. I can’t help but stare.

“What’s going on, Benny?” He says quietly.

His question broke my stare and I grab a small twig. I poke the snow between my legs. “Nothing.”

“What I saw yesterday wasn’t nothing, Ben. That’s not you. The kid I know wouldn’t commit crimes. Is it Colin? Did he put you up to it?” He leans to see my face.

“No. It wasn’t Colin’s idea.” I mumble as I draw in the snow.

“So, it was yours.” He says.

I sniff back my slightly runny nose.

“Why, Benny? You…You can have anything you want. You just have to ask me for it. I’ll get it for you.” He says in a soft tone that only grates on me more.

“You can’t give me everything.” I grumble.

He nods and looks out to the pond. “OK, right. I can’t give you everything, but I can give you enough. You shouldn’t have a need to steal anything.”

“I didn’t steal.” I glance at him.

“You still broke into cars. What about next time, Ben? What if I’m not there to blow the Enforcers off. I can’t be there to save you all the time. You have more responsibility than that. Your mom and I taught you…”

“Just forget it.” I get up and step over him.

“No. Ben. I won’t forget it. Your mom’s worried about you and so am I.” He gets up and walks to my back as I move logs on the wood pile.

I turn around. “Don’t be. I’m not.”

He crosses his arm. “You should be, Ben. You should be worried about yourself. What do we say. You keep your stick on the ice and nose in the books. That’s the only way you make it.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re a superstar!” I throw my hand to him.

“I had to work for it, Ben.” He points to his chest. “I had to bleed and sweat. I saw the goal and I perfected that shot. I saw what I wanted and I went for it.” He steps closer. “You just need to focus on your life.”

“What life? I’m nothing.” I mumble.

His eyebrows come together and he cocks his head. “Where’s this coming from?”

“Nothing. I said forget it.” I push past him.

“No, Benjamin. Talk to me.” He demands.

I stop and it boiled inside me. I didn’t mean to. It just came out. I spin around and ball my fists. “YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!!” My voice was so loud it actually scared me. It carried across the park to the pond. People stopped and stared. I stood there with my chin quivering and my eyes filling with tears. I don’t know why it hurt so much, it just did.

He looks at me with shock. “Ben.” He whispers.

I look around at the people’s eyes on me. I wipe my nose and sniff. “I’m cold. I want to go home.” I leave him there and head to the car. Eventually he followed me.

The look on his face tells me I hit him where it hurt. I do that a lot. I just can’t control it. Every year it seems to get worse. I don’t want to be mean.

I just…

If no one wants to be there when I need them, I just want to be left alone.