The Axelridge Series Book 1 Finn's Slapshot

FINN-Present Day

I follow Ben to the house as he storms up the walkway.

I don’t know how I feel about this. He’s not mine, I get that, but I’ve seen this kid through everything. I’ve watched him grow. When I’m here, I’ve fed him, changed his diapers, read his books to him. I held him as he cried.

I feel like his dad and despite my vow to never be a father, when he came, I never wanted a kid so bad in my life. Seeing him come into this world. It was beautiful.

****

THIRTEEN YEARS AGO

“April! Do you have a flathead screwdriver?” I stand up and walk out of the nursery. “I swear this stuff was designed by rocket scientists.” I chuckle as I walk over to the tool box on the table.

April is sitting at the table eating a bowl of ice cream.

I glance at her. “That’s your third bowl.” I chuckle.

She rubs her huge baby bump. “Can’t help it. The boy likes his butterscotch.”

I shake my head. “You shouldn’t be eating that. It’s junk.”

“You can put the baby’s crib together, but I draw the line at telling me what to eat, mister.” She fills her spoon and defiantly puts it her mouth.

“OK. I’m just looking out for Kyle’s little man.” I smile.

“He’s fine. I swear. You’d think he was yours.” She pushes herself out of the chair and waddles to the kitchen.

I flip through the trays. “When’s he coming back? It’s getting close.”

“He got sent out on a last minute mission. He said he’ll be back in time. There’s still another three weeks.” She comes back with a glass of milk in her hand.

“He better not miss this or I’ll kick his ass.” I pull out the screwdriver.

“Are you kidding? He lives for this baby. I swear, I don’t exist anymore. I’m just the baby grower.” She takes a sip.

“That’s not true.” I turn to the nursery. “He loves you. Why do you think he asked me to watch you while he was deployed?”

“He asked you to watch…”

I walk into the room and stop. I cock my head and turn. “April?”

I hear glass shatter. “April!”

“Finn!”

I run out and she’s hanging onto the door frame of the kitchen. Her other hand is on her stomach. She looks at me with pain on her face. “My water just broke. He’s coming.” She whines through clenched teeth.

My brows go up. “Oh…Oh, shit…OK…Don’t panic. We have the bag packed.” I run to the closet.

“Argghhh….” She doubles over and grinds out pain.

I throw the hospital bag on my shoulder and run to her. I support her as we walk to the door. “OK. Just breathe. Let’s get to the car…”

“Ughhhh…Finn…” She squeezes my arm as we make our way slowly up the hall.

“It’s OK. It’s fine. Honey. This is good, ok. Ben’s coming…This is awesome.” I smile as I help her outside.

“This is not awesome!!” She growls at me.

“Right…You’re right…Pain? Not good…I get it.” I stammer as I try to remain calm.

I help her into my car and get in the driver side. I recklessly pull out and drive to the hospital.

I’m racing across the city with April practically crying in the seat next to me.

“This is Alpha Trezner. My friend just went into labor. We're on our way.” I say to the hospital admission nurse.

“Are you the father?” She asks.

“No? What does that matter? I have a pregnant lady in labor in my car and we are on our way! Get a room ready!” I yell to my console.

“Calm down, Alpha. A room is being prepped. What’s her name?”

“April Warren.” I say.

“AHHHH…” She grips the seat and bears down.

“Hold my hand…Hold my hand, bunny…” I hold out my hand and she slams her and onto it.

“OK. Just go to the front desk and they’ll take it from there.” The nurse says.

“Thank you.” I hang up and step on the gas. On the main street, weave through the three lanes of traffic.

“Kyle!” April cries.

“I’m calling him now, sweetie. He’ll make it. He will. Don’t worry.” I kiss the back of her hand as she squeezes out another contraction

I pull up front of the hospital and run around to her side. I scoop her out of the car and carry her into the hospital.

“Help!” I say as I run in.

A nurse runs from the offices to a stall and grabs a wheelchair. “April?”

“Yes.” I breathe.

“OK. There’s paperwork at the desk, she’ll be on the fifth floor, room 8.” The nurse informs.

“FINN!!”

She holds her stomach and I squat down. “I’m here. It’s OK. Breathe. Just breathe.”

I look up at the nurse.

She takes the chair. “Better hurry up, dad.” She wheels April out as I stare at her. “Dad.” I whisper.

“Alpha?”

My head whips to another nurse holding up paperwork.

“Right!” I quickly jog over and get started.

Fifteen minutes later, I’m running into the room. “April? I’m here. Bunny, it’s OK.”

I pull out my phone and dial. “Alpha Moreau…It’s Alpha Trezner…I’m fine, but I have a situation that involves one of your unit members…His name is Kyle Warren. His mate just went into labor and we need him home…He’s with Ops Unit 6…I realize he’s in the field. He had made arrangements for leave and…OK. OK…I’ll tell her…Yes, thank you. Yes, super excited…OK, please be quick.” I hang up and squat down in front of April whose sitting on a bed. “There messaging Kyle’s unit as we speak. They’ll get him here”

“He’s eight hours away. He’s not going to make it.” She cries.

“He will, honey. Remember what they said in class? Labor can last days, ok.” I rub her legs as she cries more. I realize I probably shouldn’t have said that. “M-Maybe not days…hours…It can last hours. He’ll make it.” I reassure.

Another contraction came and I held her head as she grinds it out. I look at the nurse with a worried face.

She looks at the clock. “That was closer.”

April cries more.

“He’ll make it.” I say as I hug her tight.

Hours later, I’m pacing the hall with my phone to my ear. “...I called you over 7 hours ago. Where is he?...Yes, I get that it’s hard to find someone in a war, but what the hell are mind links for?” I grit under my breath. “She is about to have this kid without the father…He’s on the chopper?...OK…Thank you…Yes, we’re ecstatic.” I hang up and walk into the room.

I squat in front of April and massage her stomach like I was taught in the pup classes we took.

“WHERE'S KYLE?” Tears and sweat bead on her face.

I wipe her face with a towel. “He’s coming. He was put on a chopper an hour ago. The hospital is clearing the landing pad.”

“UGH…He should be here…” She grits.

“I know he should, bunny. He’s trying.” I rub her stomach more as she leans forward on the bed.

She screams out another contraction.

“Less than a minute. Daddy’s not going to make it.” The nurse says.

“Shit.” I look into April’s pain filled eyes. “OK, Sweetie. We can do this.”

“I want Kyle!” She sobs.

“April, he’s coming. Don’t worry about that. Right now, we need to help Ben come into the world. I’m right here with you. We can do this. OK?” I cup her cheek and wipe her eye with my thumb.

“Okay.” She chokes.

Another contraction comes and the nurse looks at the time. “It’s Showtime.”

They call the doctor in and situate April into a position to deliver her baby. They set up a mirror behind the doctor.

He looks under the blanket between her legs. “OK, April. You’re fully dilated. When you feel like pushing, push.” He instructs.

“OK.” She pants. A contraction comes and she holds my hand. She bares down and pushes, clenching a scream.

“Push, honey! Push!” I encourage. I glance at the mirror and see her open up and the hint of black hair.

She flops back down and breathing hard. I wipe her head. “That was good. So good. You’re amazing.”

“I can’t…” She whines between breaths.

“Yes, you can…We can do this.” I say again.

“April, push.” The doctor says.

She grips my hand and whines out another push. “Push, April! Good!”

“You’re doing it! Oh my God!” I'm completely awestruck as the baby’s head comes out. “How are you doing this?…This is amazing…”

“Rest, April.” The doctor says. I watch them wipe Ben’s face and clean out his nose and mouth.

“UGH!” She grinds.

“OK…Shoulders…Big push!” The doctor says.

“Big push, baby…Big push.” I hold her hand tight as she pushes and I watch the mirror intently.

Like everything slowed, I watch shoulders, belly, arms, legs…ten little fingers and ten little toes flop on the table. Moments later, his tiny voice is crying out for his mother.

Tears threaten my eyes as I laugh. I kiss Aprils head. “You did it, bunny…I can’t believe it…He’s beautiful…”

She’s so exhausted she's barely conscious. “Ben…” She says faintly.

“He’s perfect. He’s…” I almost wish I could say the words. The last 8 months have been such a growing moment for me, I feel like he’s just as much mine as he is Kyles.

When this tiny boy entered the world in front of my eyes, it was like everything was for this moment. This one event. This tiny person will grow and be great. He will have the whole world at his feet and I witnessed his first minute. I watched him take his first breath and cry his first cry. I actually witnessed the minute my world changed forever.

They wrap him up and walk him over to me. “Here’s your son.” A nurse says quietly as she slips Ben into my arms.

“Oh, he’s not mine.” I look at her as I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’m just a…a family friend.”

“Oh…Well. He’s beautiful. Congratulations.” She smiles and walks away.

As they clean April up, I stare at the little pink face in the blue blanket. I walk him around the room. “Hey, Benny.” I sniff. “I’m Finn.” I take a deep breath. “You’re a really cool guy. We're gonna be great friends, I can feel it."

He wiggles in my arms and stretches as he quietly coos. “Hey, those look like good stick hands. What do you think? Forward or goalie? What about defenseman? Maybe you can be my wingman one day? Would you like that? Finn and Benny. The unstoppable wall. I like that. What do you think?”

“Alpha?”

I turn to a nurse.

“He needs to be fed.” She motions to Ben.

I look at the pup. “Right.” I chuckle with a sniff. “Sorry.” I hand Ben over and they take him over to April.

Hours later, I’m still lost in this little boy. April’s holding him and I’m sitting beside her. I’m rubbing his cheek softly.

“He’s amazing. You and Kyle made a great kid.” I drop a kiss in her hair.

“Thanks. I just wish he didn’t miss it.” She smiles at her son.

“Trust me. If he saw what I saw, you’d have to pick him up off the floor.” I laugh.

“He could have taken it.” April says.

“He gets squeamish over a paper cut.” I smirk.

“OK. Yeah. Maybe he’d pass out.” She chuckles.

A thud on the room door has us turn our heads.

A man in a military uniform is standing with a worried look on his face. His huge body almost fills the door. He rubs his black, military crew cut hair and squeezes the blue teddy bear in his hands. He looks at me then April and his face falls when he sees Ben. I see his shoulders rise as he takes a deep breath.

“Kyle.” April breathes.

He drops his duffle and rushes in. I get out of the way. “Baby. I’m so sorry. I tried. I tried so hard to be here.”

April starts crying. “It’s OK.”

“I missed you so much. I love you.” He kisses her several times and I look at floor.

He looks down. “Oh my God. My boy. He’s my boy?” He looks at April with a mountain of love that even I can feel.

“Yes.” April sniffs. “This is Ben. Ben, it’s your daddy. He’s come home to see you.”

Kyle takes the baby and cradles him in his thick arms. “He’s big.”

April laughs.

“He’s strong. He’ll make a good fighter.” He beams. “What do you think, Ben? Unit 6, just like your Ole man? Give those Nordic wolves hell.”

I clear my throat. “I’m…uh…I’ll give you guys some privacy.”

He gives the baby back. “Finn…” He walks over to me and pulls me into a hug. “Thank you for helping my family.”

“Anytime, buddy.” I clap his back. “Anytime.”

He pulls me back. “Hey. You’re his godfather. You know that, right?”

I nod. “I like that. I’d be honored.”

“We’ll go for drinks to celebrate…once everyone’s settled in.” He offers.

“Sure. Just call me.” I answer.

“I have a boy.” He grins.

“Congratulations.” I smile back.

He turns away and joins his family.

I stuff my hands in my pockets and walk out.

I swore off kids when I was 18, but being that close to having one has me thinking. Could I actually be a father? Could I raise a child to be a respected member of the pack?

I hit the elevator button down and watch the doors close.

As I sit in my mind, the thoughts of my father flooded me. The brow beating. The humiliations. The power trips.

I breathe deep and look at the ceiling. “Count your lucky stars, Finley. Count your lucky stars.”

I get off the car and pull out my phone. I press a contact and put it to my ear. “Hey, Jax…What are you doing right now?...Want to meet me at my place?...My friend just had her kid, I want to celebrate…She’s the one with the hot friends right?...Sure bring them along. It’s not a party without girls…Cool. See you in ten.” I hang up.

Yep, I enjoy being single. I don’t need to be ruining another life. I have my own life to ruin.

****

PRESENT DAY

Ben throws open the door and I walk in behind him.

April comes out of the kitchen and he pushes past her without saying a word. “Ben?” She calls after him.

“Um…He needs privacy.” I stop her.

“What happened?” She walks up to me.

I scratch my temple. “We had a good talk. Straightened some stuff out. He just needs time.”

“Should I be worried?” Concern fills her face.

“No…No, not at all.” I kiss her cheek. “It’s just guy stuff. Nothing to be worried about.”

“Okay.” She says as I head to the door. “You’d tell me if something was wrong.”

“Of course. We just put a lot of stuff into perspective.” I smile.

“Ok. Will you be back tomorrow?” She says as she leans on the door frame.

“Um…No. I have that commercial shoot in L.A. I have to catch the red eye tonight.” I inform.

“Oh. When will you be back?”

“Two? Two and half weeks. It depends on the shoot and usually there’s interviews and signings. You know how it goes.” I start to walk backwards to the truck.

“Right.” She looks down at her hands.

“Hey. I’ll send Ben something cool.” I motion to her.

“I’m sure he’d like that.” She pushes off the frame.

I walk to drivers side. “I’ll deposit the support tomorrow. Make sure Ben’s tuition gets paid.”

“Sure...um…Thanks.” She waves.

“Anytime.” I smile and get in.

I wave to her as I back out and head back to my penthouse downtown.

I turn onto the parkway and Ben’s words rattle in my brain. I try to be a father figure for him. Someone to look up to. Someone to trust. God knows I try.

I feel it sting over and over. It stings so much, I smack the steering wheel and lean on the door. I rub my forehead and try to calm myself. I shouldn’t take this personally, but I thought I was doing alright. Apparently not. I just don’t know what to do now.

I promised to do Kyle’s job. A job I never signed up for or wanted until I saw him born, but I stepped up and did the best I could. To have it thrown back at me like that…it fucking hurts.

I love the kid like he’s my own. I also know that Ben’s old enough to realize who I am to him. It’s just…Is it possible to be jealous of a dead guy?

This business trip couldn’t have come at a worse time. If it wasn’t a huge contract, I’d cancel and figure this out with Ben. But I can’t just turn down contracts like that without causing a lot more shit.

I’ll have to talk with him when I get back.

I need to explain to him that, yes, I’m not his dad, but I’m the closest thing he has to a dad and he needs to appreciate that. He needs to know that even though I’m not blood, that doesn’t mean I’m not invested in him. I want the best for him and he can try to push me away, but I’m not going anywhere.