The Aperios (Children of the Sun Book 4)

Mel had been trying not to cry for at least an hour now. He didn’t want to feel this awful anymore, but as long as Kaleth’s fate hung in the balance, he couldn’t make himself feel better, or even distract himself. He just kept watching as Yorin, a hand on Kaleth’s forehead, was doing something to Kaleth’s mind.

Yorin hadn’t actually told him anything concrete, aside from saying that he was trying to fix things. Mel suspected that Yorin hadn’t said much because he either didn’t actually know what he would be dealing with, or that he didn’t think Mel could handle it. Which made him a little resentful—he could handle the truth—but he didn’t say anything. Yorin was helping Kaleth after all, and he should just appreciate that.

Mel sniffed, staring down at the floor. They were at Kaleth’s apartment, which had been Yorin’s idea, but Mel agreed with it. He’d said something about Kaleth being more comfortable in a familiar place, even though he was unconscious right now. And even though Kaleth acted like he had no fond memories of living here, Mel didn’t believe that.

He could tell that Kaleth was more at ease here, just by how easily he’d fallen asleep. Mel had spent at least fifteen minutes watching him sleep, and he could tell by his slow, deep, quiet breaths that Kaleth liked sleeping there. Or maybe he just liked Mel being there and found his presence calming, but Mel didn’t dare be arrogant enough to actually believe it was just that.

He really wanted to leave the room for a moment. Just clear his head a little and not have to watch this. But he knew that wouldn’t work. Even though Kaleth’s presence in his mind was very weak now, Mel wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about everything that had happened, or about how incredibly worried he was.

He had put himself in harm’s way intentionally back on that ship, hoping Kaleth would be too unfocused to notice it was him in time, because Mel knew if there was one thing that would distract Kaleth it would be hurting Mel. But he didn’t want to think about how guilty it was going to make Kaleth. Mel was going to make a point to mention it several times that it hadn’t been his fault—that none of this had been his fault—but he knew Kaleth would need time to accept it.

If he accepted it at all….

Mel sighed, putting his head in his hands as he leaned back against the window. He knew Kaleth would be horrified at what he’d almost done, and that his automatic reaction would be to push everyone away, but Mel wouldn’t let him do that.

He felt his heart clench as he once again reminded himself that Kaleth might not even be all there after all of this, but he would have to hold onto hope that it would all be okay in the end.

Yorin cleared his throat, drawing Mel’s attention, though the simple action of looking up and meeting Yorin’s gaze was far too difficult.

“I-is he….” Mel wasn’t even sure what he wanted to ask, so he just let the question trail off. Yorin seemed to get what he was asking anyway.

“I did my best to lock away any part of Enor that was in his mind,” he said grimly, which made Mel worry about what that actually meant. “But Kaleth will have to wear that bracelet permanently. Not necessarily to its full effect, but…. If he ever gets as powerful as he was, I fear he might break the barriers unintentionally, and this whole incident could repeat.”

Right, that made sense. Mel couldn’t say he was all that surprised by this either. Kaleth would most likely not trust himself to have that power anyway, which wasn’t a comforting thought in the least, now that Mel thought about it more.

“He’ll wake up soon,” Yorin continued, throwing a look over his shoulder at Kaleth. “If you’d like me to stay….”

Mel shook his head without even giving the offer a second thought, but at the moment he didn’t care if he was being rude. “I don’t want to overwhelm him.”

That had been his logic anytime someone offered to stay with him, but everyone seemed to understand why Mel kept declining. Kaleth didn’t need the stress right now, especially due to the fact that he’d almost hurt a few of them. Relioth hadn’t wanted to let himself be convinced, but Mereria had yelled at him for it, which Mel was grateful for.

“Right, understood.” Despite his words, Yorin gave him an unsure look, as if he was debating if Mel could handle this. “Well, erm, contact me if you need anything.”

With an awkward wave Yorin left the bedroom and then the apartment. Mel moved only after he heard the door click shut, his eyes scanning Kaleth’s body. He didn’t look any worse or better, but Mel would have to hope he was. The only main difference was that now he was frowning in his sleep.

Mel closed the distance, sitting gingerly next to him on the bed and taking Kaleth’s hand into his. The mostly lax fingers automatically curled into his grasp, which made Mel both overjoyed and dread what was about to come.

He just sat there waiting, practically scared of moving even a bit even though there was nothing that would happen if he did that. And he held his breath as Kaleth slowly became conscious, groaning and rubbing his forehead before even opening his eyes.

Mel almost gasped when he saw the familiar emerald color peek out from underneath Kaleth’s eyelashes, feeling incredibly relieved that there wasn’t a hint of the golden glow. Kaleth frowned in what looked like confusion, still keeping a hand over half his face as he sat up.

“Love?”

Mel couldn’t contain himself and hugged him, as tightly as he could before it would hurt. He had to remind himself that Kaleth couldn’t just heal himself right now.

“Kally,” he said, his voice breaking as tears started to leak out of his eyes again. He couldn’t get anything else out, despite having a thousand things to say. He was just so overwhelmed with emotion that all he really could do was cry.

“Oh gods.” Kaleth’s mood took a sharp turn from confusion to horror, which meant that he’d most likely remembered what he’d done. Mel hugged him tighter. “All of that….”

“It’s not your fault,” was the first thing that made its way out of Mel’s mouth, and he immediately cringed when Kaleth pulled away from him.

“How?!” Despite the tone, Kaleth looked more horrified than angry. He pushed his fingers through his hair as he sprung up from the bed, turning away from Mel. But Mel wasn’t going to let him just do that.

He grabbed Kaleth’s shoulder, and despite Kaleth’s attempts to resist turned him back around due to being much stronger. Mel put his hands on the sides of Kaleth’s head, forcing him to meet his eyes. “Listen to me. It’s not your fault.”

Kaleth shook his head, his eyes glistening. “I tried to comit genocide! That’s not just something you can wave away, Mel.” He let out a small sob as tears dripped down his face. “I...I hurt you. I shot Hidar!”

“I’m fine. I’m not hurt. And Hidarion is fine, too. We both forgave you even before we stopped you.”

At least Hidarion had said as much, and Mel fully agreed with the sentiment. No one had come to any real harm, and Kaleth hadn’t been himself when he’d done that—pretty literally in fact since the remains of Enor had been in control.

Kaleth tried to turn away as another sob escaped his lips, but Mel wouldn’t let him. He coaxed him into another hug, this time a gentler one, stroking Kaleth’s hair as he cried into Mel’s shoulder.

Mel guided them back onto the bed, unsure if he should be relieved or worried that Kaleth didn’t resist. He was quickly realizing that this was the first moment he’d seen Kaleth cry this openly, and it was tearing his heart apart. But he would have to keep it together.

“B-but w-what I almost did—”

“But you didn’t,” Mel cut in, not letting him speak because he knew what kind of things Kaleth would say anyway. “And even though it was wrong, you thought you were doing the right thing.”

Kaleth let out a broken, huffy laugh, which wasn’t anything Mel had been expecting. “I always do the worst things with the best intentions, Mel.” He sniffed, pulling away, which Mel let him do as long as he stayed close. He knew Kaleth couldn’t teleport anymore, but that didn’t mean Mel was risking letting him run off when he was like this.

“You really think that was all Enor?”

Mel nodded without a second thought, despite the self-hating tone Kaleth had used. “Of course it was.”

Kaleth shook his head, a wry smile on his tear-stained face. “No, that was just who I am without inhibitions.”

Mel glared at Kaleth, which seemed to shut him up. This wasn’t something he’d thought Kaleth would think, but he wasn’t willing to have him actually thinking this. Especially since even Yorin had said the opposite.

“Yorin doesn’t think that. And neither does anyone else.”

But Kaleth just shook his head again, still clearly not listening. “I’ve always had thoughts like this.”

Mel wanted to tear his hair out in frustration. He could feel how much pain Kaleth was in right now, and he wasn’t letting him make it better. It was awful.

“And Enor has always been a part of you,” Mel replied, continuing to scowl since Kal? eth seemed less willing to argue when he did that. “This doesn’t prove anything.”

Kaleth didn’t say anything back and just stared into Mel’s eyes with his own, reddened ones. The pain and sorrow in them was almost too much to handle. Mel ran a shaking hand through Kaleth’s hair and kissed his forehead. It was so hard to keep his tears at bay. Despite his best efforts, they kept sliding down his cheeks anyway.

“I’m s-so sorry,” Kaleth sobbed out, and Mel hugged him tighter, barely noticing that his shirt was now soaked in tears. He just continued stroking his hair and shushing him every time Kaleth apologized. He had nothing to apologize for, but Mel knew saying that would just make Kaleth argue back. So instead, he said what Kaleth wanted to hear.

“I forgive you.”

Kaleth shook his head, but Mel could feel he was relieved at least a little. He separated himself, rubbing his eyes as he shook his head again. “Y-you can’t just forgive—”

“I can and I will.”

Kaleth opened his mouth, but no words came out. Then he lowered his gaze again. He wasn’t crying anymore, but he might as well be with how miserable and guilty he looked. As if any of this had been his fault.

Kaleth’s eyes settled on the door, but Mel kept hands on his shoulders. He couldn’t teleport anymore, and unless Kaleth had a good reason, he wasn’t going to let him leave until he got it through his head that no one was mad at him, and the world wasn’t any worse off for what had happened.

“Why?”

Mel frowned, not sure what Kaleth was asking about exactly. “Why…?”

“Why do you forgive me? I hurt you. In more ways than one.” Kaleth was now weakly glaring at him, but somehow it had no effect on Mel aside from making him even more dead set on changing Kaleth’s mind.

“You really think the few bad things that happened outweigh the good?”

Kaleth let out a disbelieving snort. “I just tried to commit a genocide.”

Mel narrowed his eyes. “Would you do it now?”

“Of course not!” Kaleth replied before his eyes widened in realization. Mel smiled at him gently, and Kaleth once again did his best to avoid his gaze. “Come on, love, that doesn’t mean anything.”

“It means everything.” Kaleth swallowed thickly, still looking anywhere but at Mel, so Mel made him look up again by gently tilting his head up. “And even when you wanted to, you wanted to do it to help the world—not to gain something for yourself.”

Kaleth sighed. “You should be telling me to leave and never see you again.”

Mel shook his head. As if he could ever do that. “I love you, Kaleth. And all I want is to be with you. This didn’t change anything.”

Kaleth almost looked pleading now, as if hoping Mel would actually still tell him to go away while also desperately wishing for the opposite. Mel hugged him again, sighing as Kaleth wrapped his arms around his back.

“I love you too, sweetheart,” Kaleth mumbled into his shoulder, sniffling. Then after a moment of silence, he spoke again. “You’re not going to give up, are you?”

Of course he wouldn’t, not unless Kaleth told him to leave. Giving up would mean giving up on Kaleth, and Mel would never do that, but he had a feeling that would just add fuel to the fire, so he didn’t say it.

“I won’t because I know I’m right.”

Kaleth let out a shaky laugh, though he still sounded overwhelmingly sad. Mel pulled away a little to look Kaleth in the eye again.

“You’re a good man, and you have a good heart. I stand by that.”

Kaleth visibly swallowed as his eyes filled with tears again, but he didn’t look away this time. Somehow that made it even harder to keep looking at him, but Mel would manage.

“I don’t deserve you, love.”

Mel’s eyes were stinging. “Of course you do. You deserve everything.”

Their lips met in a soft kiss, even though both of them were crying. And suddenly, Mel felt all of the tension he’d been feeling practically from the moment he’d met Kaleth drain out of him, leaving him incredibly drained.

There was a sense of finality, unlike after Kaleth had killed Enor. A feeling that everything might actually be okay from now on. He just hoped he and the others would be able to convince Kaleth of that.