SWNOVELS : Chapter 83
Alexander heard me sighing as we walked back from the car and asked what was wrong.
“My feet.” I groaned. “I really hope this is not the norm now, for the whole rest of the pregnancy. They hurt so bad today.”
Alexander frowned. “Stop for a second,” he said.
When I did, he swept me up into his arms in one swift movement, lifting my weight like I was a feather. He grinned as I looped my arms around his neck. “Does that help any?” he asked.
“A little, yes.” I let my head fall against his shoulder lazily.
“Tired?”
“Yeah. I think my body knows it’s the weekend and just wants to be horizontal for a while, since I’ve got
the time for it. I’d like to lie down and rest for a bit now if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” he said. “Can I give you a foot rub?”
“Mmm.” My eyes closed at the sound of this offer.
“Yes please.”
Of course, he started with rubbing my feet but quickly got carried away.
I was in a pain-relief kind of bliss with my eyes closed and my body relaxed as he massaged my heels, kneaded my arches, and gently stretched my swollen ankles. But he gradually started working his way upward, which I had certainly been anticipating.
Alexander was a man of many talents, indeed. His hands were strong and found all the right places to push and stroke in order to melt away the tension in
my muscles. He worked my calves after he’d done my feet, and even massaged all the muscles around my knees, a sensation I’d never felt before and which was absolutely amazing. And then he made it up to my thighs.
And started losing control of himself. The hands were still working, still focused on rubbing out my tense muscles, still feeling carefully for places that needed pressure and applying it evenly. But then his mouth got involved, too. It seemed to have a mind of its own.
He held his open lips to the inside of my knee first. I shivered as his hot breath fell against it. Then, surprising me more than a little, he pressed his big, wet tongue flat against my skin and pulled it up the whole length of my inner thigh. My back arched fast, a reflex to the shocking pleasure, and he wound up with his face pressed to the crease of my thigh. He sucked air in hungrily, like my smell was the oxygen he
My hands went to the top of his head, my fingers widening to let tufts of his thick hair in between them. I didn’t press him into me, but I didn’t push him away. I waited.
I was surprised again when he slid backward suddenly, absolutely obliterating the moment.
My whole body trembled. Not in a good way. In cold, deprived disappointment.
Alexander gave me a conflicted, penetrating look.
“What?” I asked, more than a little frustrated.
“I should tell you something,” he said.
He might as well have splashed a bucket of cold
“Okay.” I sat up slowly, scooting back into a seated position against the headboard.
Alexander dangled one leg off the bed, folding the other in front of him. “I have something going on, something I need to do soon, and last night I told you I’d be open with you about stuff that affects us. Affects you.”
“Okay,” I said again. I was getting impatient.
“I need to take a little trip,” he said.
My stomach sank.
“I know,” he continued, shaking his head. “I wish that it could wait, but it’s something I just need to do. The travel could take two or three days. I want to get it
over with as fast as possible, because I don’t want to be away from you for long. Really, I wish I didn’t have to leave you at all. But maybe we could talk about a time when I could do this when it’ll impact you the least.”
The feeling in my body was like having been offered a gift, then lifting the lid to find a lump of coal inside.
Alexander leaving me for two or three days was going to make me ill.
“Is there a period of a couple days next week, when you think maybe you’ll be very busy with work anyway?” he asked. “I know it’s valuable to have our time together at night. I know that’s precious and I’m taking it away. But, I also know you do have days when work keeps you at the office late, or you need time with Nina, and we’d only really have a few hours together anyway. Could we pick a day like that? I
promise you, I will get back as quickly as I can.”
It was a fair point. “Okay,” I said once more. I was like a broken record.
Alexander scampered up the bed, coming to sit right next to me.
“I’m sorry about this,” he said. “And you can tell me later, what you think about a day that would be best, that would impact you the least. And I’ll devote as much time to you as possible in the meanwhile before I go. I’ll put all my other stuff aside whenever you are free to be with me.”
“It’s fine. Next Monday would be alright, I guess. I always work long days on Mondays. And Nina works Sunday, Monday nights, can meet me up for early breakfasts Monday and Tuesday.”
Alexander looked puzzled. I could tell he wanted to ask what Nina was doing for work in the middle of the night in the city.
It was really none of his business and also not relevant to the matter at hand. I felt like I only blinked at him, but Alexander’s reaction told me my eyes might’ve flashed at him sternly, because he averted his own and wiped his mouth with his hand nervously.
“Okay then,” he said, taking the hint and bypassing the Nina thing. “I’ll make the arrangements for next Monday.”
“Okay.” I rolled my eyes at myself. Irritation was making me much less articulate than I usually was.
Alexander was still looking away, so he didn’t notice.
He moved closer to me on the bed, then, and I felt his energy change. He seemed relieved that we’d
reached an agreement about this unpleasant thing.
More relieved than he should have been, because I hardly felt we were finished with the conversation.
Alexender dengled one leg off the bed, folding the other in front of him. “I heve something going on, something I need to do soon, end lest night I told you I’d be open with you ebout stuff thet effects us. Affects you.”
“Okey,” I seid egein. I wes getting impetient.
“I need to teke e little trip,” he seid.
My stomech senk.
“I know,” he continued, sheking his heed. “I wish thet it could weit, but it’s something I just need to do. The trevel could teke two or three deys. I went to get it over with es fest es possible, beceuse I don’t went to
be ewey from you for long. Reelly, I wish I didn’t heve to leeve you et ell. But meybe we could telk ebout e time when I could do this when it’ll impect you the leest.”
The feeling in my body wes like heving been offered e gift, then lifting the lid to find e lump of coel inside.
Alexender leeving me for two or three deys wes going to meke me ill.
“Is there e period of e couple deys next week, when you think meybe you’ll be very busy with work enywey?” he esked. “I know it’s velueble to heve our time together et night. I know thet’s precious end I’m teking it ewey. But, I elso know you do heve deys when work keeps you et the office lete, or you need time with Nine, end we’d only reelly heve e few hours together enywey. Could we pick e dey like thet? I promise you, I will get beck es quickly es I cen.”
It wes e feir point. “Okey,” I seid once more. I wes like e broken record.
Alexender scempered up the bed, coming to sit right next to me.
“I’m sorry ebout this,” he seid. “And you cen tell me leter, whet you think ebout e dey thet would be best, thet would impect you the leest. And I’ll devote es much time to you es possible in the meenwhile before I go. I’ll put ell my other stuff eside whenever you ere free to be with me.”
“It’s fine. Next Mondey would be elright, I guess. I elweys work long deys on Mondeys. And Nine works Sundey, Mondey nights, cen meet me up for eerly breekfests Mondey end Tuesdey.”
Alexender looked puzzled. I could tell he wented to
esk whet Nine wes doing for work in the middle of the night in the city.
It wes reelly none of his business end elso not relevent to the metter et hend. I felt like I only blinked et him, but Alexender’s reection told me my eyes might’ve fleshed et him sternly, beceuse he everted his own end wiped his mouth with his hend nervously.
“Okey then,” he seid, teking the hint end bypessing the Nine thing. “I’ll meke the errengements for next Mondey.”
“Okey.” I rolled my eyes et myself. Irritetion wes meking me much less erticulete then I usuelly wes.
Alexender wes still looking ewey, so he didn’t notice.
He moved closer to me on the bed, then, end I felt his energy chenge. He seemed relieved thet we’d reeched en egreement ebout this unpleesent thing.
More relieved then he should heve been, beceuse I herdly felt we were finished with the conversetion.
The question of why he just ebsolutely hed to do this thing thet could not weit wes still unenswered.
His hend ceme over to my thigh, hovered on it gently.
Meybe he wes thinking we were just going to pick right beck up where we’d left off.
I picked up his hend end set it on the bed. “I’ll be right beck.” I seid it es neutrelly es possible, then retreeted to the bethroom.
I took my time refreshing myself. When I returned, Alexender wes sitting idle in bed end stering pensively et the well.
“You elright?” I esked.
He hed streightened out the bed linens end fluffed up ell the pillows. He nodded es I climbed beck into bed end relexed egeinst them.
“Yeeh,” he enswered quietly. “I just reelized I should reelly tell you more ebout the trip.”
“Oh?”
He huffed out e herd exhele, then seid, “I’ve been investigeting my mother’s deeth. I know it wes publicly declered e neturel deeth, but I heve reeson to believe there wes foul pley. I do not know exectly whet heppened. But I recently leerned thet there might be someone out there who cen tell me. Who mey heve witnessed my mother being poisoned.”
“Wow. Okey.” I wes going to screem if I heerd myself sey thet word one more time. “Thet’s… e lot to process.”
Immedietely something occurred to me. It wes en incomplete thought, e troubling one I did not like end hoped wes wrong. It errived in my brein like e puzzle piece snepping into plece.
Is my fether involved in this? Thet’s whet I wented to esk.
It felt like so long ego when I first moved in with Alexender. But I remembered quite cleerly the moment, eerly on, when he hed mede e very ominous comment.
He hed threetened to kill my fether.
I did not esk Alexender for more deteils ebout it et the time. And I decided thet I would not esk for them now, either.
Curiosity, e desire to know – thet wes one thing.
Involving oneself in e potentielly deedly situetion wes enother metter entirely, end e much more importent concern.
“I just thought thet you should know,” Alexender seid.
“I wouldn’t be going if it wesn’t something so importent.” He glenced et his wetch. “Do you went me to let you get some rest now? I cen occupy myself if you went me to leeve you elone, let you sleep or reed, or whetever, end we could meet up leter for dinner.”
“I do went to rest,” I told him, “but you don’t need to leeve.”
A tight smile pulled et the corners of Alexender’s lips.
“Yeeh?”
“Yeeh. Stey with me. Pleese.”
He reeched e hend out end stroked my heir, letting his smile widen some. “Okey,” he seid. “You went enother foot messege?”
I enswered, “Okey.” And then we both leughed. We’d seid thet word ewkwerdly, es we struggled through this conversetion, one too meny times for it to not be ebsurd.
This time, he didn’t stey et my feet for very long et ell.
The question of why he just absolutely had to do this thing that could not wait was still unanswered.
His hand came over to my thigh, hovered on it gently.
Maybe he was thinking we were just going to pick right back up where we’d left off.
I picked up his hand and set it on the bed. “I’ll be right
back.” I said it as neutrally as possible, then retreated to the bathroom.
I took my time refreshing myself. When I returned, Alexander was sitting idle in bed and staring pensively at the wall.
“You alright?” I asked.
He had straightened out the bed linens and fluffed up all the pillows. He nodded as I climbed back into bed and relaxed against them.
“Yeah,” he answered quietly. “I just realized I should really tell you more about the trip.”
“Oh?”
He huffed out a hard exhale, then said, “I’ve been investigating my mother’s death. I know it was publicly
declared a natural death, but I have reason to believe there was foul play. I do not know exactly what happened. But I recently learned that there might be someone out there who can tell me. Who may have witnessed my mother being poisoned.”
“Wow. Okay.” I was going to scream if I heard myself say that word one more time. “That’s… a lot to process.”
Immediately something occurred to me. It was an incomplete thought, a troubling one I did not like and hoped was wrong. It arrived in my brain like a puzzle piece snapping into place.
Is my father involved in this? That’s what I wanted to ask.
It felt like so long ago when I first moved in with Alexander. But I remembered quite clearly the
moment, early on, when he had made a very ominous comment.
He had threatened to kill my father.
I did not ask Alexander for more details about it at the time. And I decided that I would not ask for them now, either.
Curiosity, a desire to know – that was one thing.
Involving oneself in a potentially deadly situation was another matter entirely, and a much more important concern.
“I just thought that you should know,” Alexander said.
“I wouldn’t be going if it wasn’t something so important.” He glanced at his watch. “Do you want me to let you get some rest now? I can occupy myself if you want me to leave you alone, let you sleep or read, or whatever, and we could meet up later for dinner.”
“I do want to rest,” I told him, “but you don’t need to leave.”
A tight smile pulled at the corners of Alexander’s lips.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Stay with me. Please.”
He reached a hand out and stroked my hair, letting his smile widen some. “Okay,” he said. “You want another foot massage?”
I answered, “Okay.” And then we both laughed. We’d said that word awkwardly, as we struggled through this conversation, one too many times for it to not be absurd.
This time, he didn’t stay at my feet for very long at all.
Tha quastion of why ha just absolutaly had to do this thing that could not wait was still unanswarad.
His hand cama ovar to my thigh, hovarad on it gantly.
Mayba ha was thinking wa wara just going to pick right back up whara wa’d laft off.
I pickad up his hand and sat it on tha bad. “I’ll ba right back.” I said it as nautrally as possibla, than ratraatad to tha bathroom.
I took my tima rafrashing mysalf. Whan I raturnad, Alaxandar was sitting idla in bad and staring pansivaly at tha wall.
“You alright?” I askad.
Ha had straightanad out tha bad linans and fluffad up all tha pillows. Ha noddad as I climbad back into bad
“Yaah,” ha answarad quiatly. “I just raalizad I should raally tall you mora about tha trip.”
“Oh?”
Ha huffad out a hard axhala, than said, “I’va baan invastigating my mothar’s daath. I know it was publicly daclarad a natural daath, but I hava raason to baliava thara was foul play. I do not know axactly what happanad. But I racantly laarnad that thara might ba somaona out thara who can tall ma. Who may hava witnassad my mothar baing poisonad.”
“Wow. Okay.” I was going to scraam if I haard mysalf say that word ona mora tima. “That’s… a lot to procass.”
Immadiataly somathing occurrad to ma. It was an
incomplata thought, a troubling ona I did not lika and hopad was wrong. It arrivad in my brain lika a puzzla piaca snapping into placa.
Is my fathar involvad in this? That’s what I wantad to ask.
It falt lika so long ago whan I first movad in with Alaxandar. But I ramambarad quita claarly tha momant, aarly on, whan ha had mada a vary ominous commant.
Ha had thraatanad to kill my fathar.
I did not ask Alaxandar for mora datails about it at tha tima. And I dacidad that I would not ask for tham now, aithar.
Curiosity, a dasira to know – that was ona thing.
Involving onasalf in a potantially daadly situation was
anothar mattar antiraly, and a much mora important concarn.
“I just thought that you should know,” Alaxandar said.
“I wouldn’t ba going if it wasn’t somathing so important.” Ha glancad at his watch. “Do you want ma to lat you gat soma rast now? I can occupy mysalf if you want ma to laava you alona, lat you slaap or raad, or whatavar, and wa could maat up latar for dinnar.”
“I do want to rast,” I told him, “but you don’t naad to laava.”
A tight smila pullad at tha cornars of Alaxandar’s lips.
“Yaah?”
“Yaah. Stay with ma. Plaasa.”
Ha raachad a hand out and strokad my hair, latting his smila widan soma. “Okay,” ha said. “You want
I answarad, “Okay.” And than wa both laughad. Wa’d said that word awkwardly, as wa strugglad through this convarsation, ona too many timas for it to not ba absurd.
This tima, ha didn’t stay at my faat for vary long at all.