Teaching My Bookworm Stepsister

!!! *** WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MATERIAL THAT MIGHT BE DISTRESSING TO SOME READERS. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED! *** !!!

Kapri's P.O.V.

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"Kapri honey, I think you should have a seat. There's something I need to tell you," Mom said.

I frowned at the two of them, but sat down. Mom sat in the chair next to me. Liam shut the door, and locked it.

"You guys are starting to freak me out," I said.

Mom sniffled, and grabbed my hands.

"Kapri.. Before I tell you this, I want you to know something," She said.

Mom looked into my eyes. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, but a smile on her face. Which is just making me feel more uneasy. "Okay.." I replied.

"Kapri, baby, there has never been a day that I haven't loved you. I have always thought of you as a blessing. From the moment that I found out you were in my belly. You were always my light in the darkness. I would never trade you for anything. Ever. You mean everything to me." She told me.

"I-I know Mom.." I said.

More tears streamed down Mom's face. The smile fell from her face as she stared into my eyes.

"Kapri, I've been lying to you about your father." She said gently.

I frowned.

"Lying..? W-what do you mean?" I asked.

Mom took a deep shaky breath.

"I moved out of this town right after high school. My mother had died when I was young, my father was a junkie. I had nothing keeping me here. So, I moved to New York City. For a long time, I worked a few different jobs. Mostly late nights," she said. Where is she going with this?

"About 19 years ago.. I was attacked on my way home from working a double shift at a diner. A man.. dragged me into a dark alley. He held a gun to my head, and he..." Mom took another deep breath. "He raped me."

My eyes went wide. I sat up more in my chair, and squeezed Mom's hands.

"Mom.. I'm so sorry.." I said.

Mom gave me a tight smile. She squeezed my hands again.

"It's alright, my love. It took me.. a while to.. process things, and move on, but.. There was one thing, one thing that pushed me forward, that saved my life." She said. "What?" I asked.

Mom smiled at me as her eyes shined with more tears.

"You," She said.

"Me?" I asked.

Me? How would I have helped her process something like that? I wasn't even born ye-

"Wait.." I said. "19 years ago.. That..." I trailed off. "That would be around the time that.. I was conceived.."

A sob tore from Mom's throat. She let go of one of my hands to cover her mouth. Liam squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

"Are you.. Are you saying that.. That I was a product of your r**e?" I asked her.

Mom stared into my eyes. The pleading look in hers tells me all I need to know.

No. No. This isn't happening. There's no way. This can't be right.

"Kapri, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to tell you this." Mom blubbered.

My.. entire life has been a lie. My father didn't leave me when I was a child.. He.. He was a rapist.

"D-does he even know about me? What happened? Was he caught? Is he in jail? W-why.. Why did you lie to me?" I rushed out question after question.

Mom took another deep breath before answering me.

"Well, I wasn't the only woman. He was a foul man who had done this to several other women. There was an investigation already going on, but they were struggling with getting the other women to testify. Thankfully, I had gone straight to the hospital to get a r**e kit. Things were going slowly after that. The police were doing their best, but.. these things are complicated." She told me.

Complicated? What does that mean?

"And then you happened." Mom said with a smile. "You were the missing puzzle piece for them. Because you were created.. We finally had enough proof to put him away. After I stepped forward, many other women did as well. Although, I never heard of any of them being pregnant. Unfortunately, because you were the biggest piece of evidence.. Yes, he does know about you." She said.

"So.. he went to jail?" I asked.

Mom nodded.

"Yes. He was supposed to stay in jail for the rest of his life." She told me.

"Supposed to?" I asked.

Mom's bottom lip trembled. She turned her head to Liam. Who gladly gave her comfort.

"I was informed two days ago that he was released." Liam told me. "I don't know how, or why he was released early. Someone is making things difficult for me to find out what's going on."

"So.. he's out? Where is he now then?" I asked, panicked.

Liam's eyes turned hard.

"I'm working on figuring that out," he said.

That doesn't make me feel any better..

"Kapri, I'm so sorry I lied to you." Mom told me. "I didn't want you to know that. I was afraid of how it would affect you."

I don't even know what to say. I don't know how to feel.

"Does.. anyone else know about this?" I asked.

Mom shook her head.

"Liam is the only person I've ever told. I lied to everyone that your father left us when you were just a baby." She told me.

"Uhm.." I trailed off. "Mom.. how did.. I mean.. how.. how were you able.. to even look at me?" I asked, my voice strained.

"Oh honey," Mom said as she clutched my hands. "I told you.. From the moment I found out about you, I was in love with you. To me you were the ray of light in my darkness. It was.. so hard to move on after that.. I had to go through a lot of counseling, a lot of therapy. I still see a therapist to this day." She told me.

Mom's been seeing a therapist? My whole life? How could I not have known?

"I won't lie to you anymore, Kapri. It was a very hard time in my life. I was staying in a shelter because I couldn't work. I had barely gotten out of bed. Things were... extremely rough." Mom said. "And then.. I started waking up vomiting every day. My therapist had taken me to the doctor to get a pregnancy test, and suddenly.. Everything fell into place."

Mom looked down at our hands as a smile spread across her face.

"Don't get me wrong, I was scared. I was on my own after all, with no place to stay or a job. But.. I had you. I had a reason to keep going, a reason to move on. A miricale." She said.

"A miricale?" I scoffed.

I ripped my hands from hers, and shot to my feet.

"How can you even say that?" I asked her. "I.. I'm a constant reminder of what happened to you. How could you think of me as some miracle when I came from someone so.. so vile!" "Kapri, you also came from your mother," Liam said.

"So?" I said. "It's not like it was a choice of hers. I was forced on her."

"No, Kapri that's not-" Mom tried, but I just can't take it.

"I can't." I said as I stormed out of the room.

"Kapri wait!" Mom called after me.

I ignored her as I stormed to my room. I slammed the door shut, and locked it. I fell to the ground, and pulled my knees up. I rested my elbows on my knees, and my head in my hands. "Kapri.. honey please.." Mom said from the other side of my door.

I can't. I just can't. I can't do this. I can't breathe..

This can't be happening to me. Not me. Not Mom.

How could she lie to me about this for so long? What's going to happen now that that man is out of jail? How.. am I supposed to.. to.. be okay after this?

"Honey.. I'll leave you alone for now." Mom said. "But I am always here for you Lovebug. Always. I love you more than you will ever know."

How am I supposed to feel about this? How do I feel about this? Do I even deserve to feel anything?

I wasn't even just a mistake.. I was.. A product of r**e. My mom went through.. such a horrible and terrifying experience. All to end up with me. A child she didn't want. Something that reminded her constantly of what had happened to her. How can she even say she loves me? How could she spend the last 18 years taking care of me?

I slowly stood up, and walked to my bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I look.. dirty. I feel dirty.

I stripped my clothes off, and threw them in the trash can. I don't deserve to wear clothes like this. I don't deserve this bathroom. Or even to be alive.

I pulled my hair down, and looked at myself again.

I must look just like him. That must be why that girl seemed familiar to me. She looks kind of like me.

How could Mom look into my face every day, and tell me she loved me?

I didn't deserve it.

I turned to the shower, and turned it on as hot as it would go. I immediately got in, and grabbed my luffa. And I began to wash myself.

Maybe if I can just get clean I'll feel better.