Synonym

"You can have a seat right there." Miranda nodded her head at a black plastic chair next to the table. Emma nodded slightly and took a seat. She was shy when it came to new people. "Sylvia, let's get that shirt off and we can get the template on."

I pulled my shirt off without hesitation, handing the red fabric to Emma. I hadn't warn a bra because of the placement of my tattoo. Instead I wore pasties like Miranda requested. I would have taken Owen with me, but I'm not sure my boyfriend would have appreciated that. Finn was a territorial boyfriend and unlike the risqué ads that I would do with Nike, he would claim seeing it in person in a non 'professional' setting isn't acceptable. I don't blame him though. The reason I asked Owen's advice on where to go was because of my blood transfusion. I needed to find a place where safety and cleanliness was the first priority. Tattoos aren't recommended for people with transfusions for the first year, but they are totally okay if the shop is up to state standards. Or in this case, DC standards.

I had done my research and Miranda was aware of my transfusion so everything should go smoothly.

Once the stencil was on, I studied my body in a full length mirror next to where Emma sat. I loved the way the design looked on my body. "You like?" I asked Emma, studying her face to ensure I got her honest opinion. I could tell when she was lying; her brows always furrowed and she flushed slightly.

"Yeah. I love it. Its hella sexy. Finn will be into that." She replied honestly. That was a relief and it boosted my confidence.

Miranda and I decided to start on the outside of the sternum because it was in a more painful area. It was a watercolor seagull. It was shaped similarly to Rihanna's sternum tattoo, but for a bird. It was made of various shades of blue, white, and a little bit of grey. 'Watercolor' was more of the style of lines as opposed to the colors, because they were solid on my skin instead of the actual watercolor look you see all over the internet. The curve of the wings emphasized the shape of my breasts and that's why I loved it so much. I had always wanted a sternum tattoo.

"This part is going to hurt." Miranda warned as the buzzing needles moved from the valley of my breasts, to under them on the right. It went from a cat scratching to feeling like a bunch of shots one after another. But in all honesty, it was no worse than anything I've been through.

I've had someone claw out my vagina to the point where I almost needed stitches. I've had my own body kill the human growing inside it and I hemorrhaged. But in addition to the constant agony my uterus seems to be in, I also take painful hits and get turf burn on a weekly, almost daily, basis. I had been through a lot of pain and at this point I felt desensitized. Closing my fist around Emma's arm while being tattooed was nothing to me.

I had discovered that mental fear can intensify pain. It's something I've had to come to terms with. But I wasn't scared right now and my pain wasn't intensified.

It was almost one o'clock by the time we were finishing up, my tattoo taking a full four hours. "So are there any special meanings behind the tattoo?" Miranda asked me, and Emma look at me curiously. "Yeah, actually. Have you seen me on the news? It was a famous trial."

"Yeah. I'll admit that I have. I'm sorry you had to go through that." Miranda said without tearing her concentrated eyes from my skin

"Thanks." There was no need to say sorry. It wasn't her fault. "Anyway, I'd been having a rough time dealing with it when it happened. Not to mention all of the slut-shaming and sexist pricks I dealt with on a regular basis. At the time, my best friend, who's now my boyfriend, gave me this beautiful triskelion necklace to remind me I'm strong. I had a miscarriage last week so I figured it was time I got another reminder; one that I didn't have to take off for practice. So I chose the bird because they fly high above everything, above their problems. The beach also has a special place in my heart, so it was only fitting I got a seagull. "I explained.

"Is the quote something your boyfriend said?" Miranda asked, referring to the small text on my left side. It wasn't visible when looking at me straight on so it didn't clash with my bird. "No." I answered while looking at Emma to the side of me. "I came up with it."

"Is the quote something your boyfriend said?" Miranda asked, referring to the small text on my left side. It wasn't visible when looking at me straight on so it didn't clash with my bird. "Out of all the fire and steel quotes, this one is definitely my favorite." Miranda added.

"What does it say again?" Emma asked, cocking her right eyebrow.

"Forged in the hottest fire, shaped with the strongest blows, an unbreakable sword is formed." I read off the words imprinted in my mind. They were printed in a beautiful loopy font on my ribcage. I had rearranged the words so many times, eventually settling on that. There were so many fire and steel quotes but I was not about to put a Nixon quote on my body so I came up with my own.

By the time that one was finished, it was two-thirty and Finn had already asked me where I was. I told him I was out with Emma but not where. When I eventually got home, it was three.

I walked in through the door to see Finn on the couch watching television. With classes and practice over, he was looking pretty bored already. His eyes glossed over my body automatically as I passed him to get a glass of water.

"Why aren't you wearing a bra?" He asked. I was never one of those girls that could go out without some type of support. My boobs needed containment, especially when I was out and walking around.