(Sur)real

Everyone is still alive, Winifred sent me.

I exhaled slowly. Paul and Henry did the same. The cubs continued to watch their cartoons, completely unaware of the danger the rest of their family had just faced.

Michelle is making arrangements for Salt Lake, she continued. The group needs to rest. I want you to meet us there.

Aden giggled at the cartoon, his head resting on Paul’s shoulder where he reclined on the bed with his leg slightly elevated. Liam sat by Henry on the floor. The cub didn’t notice when Henry looked back at me, impatience reflected in his gaze. It wasn’t due to Aden but our situation. Being away from the pack while they’d fought hadn’t sat well with Henry.

I want to leave Paul and the cubs here. I think it is the safest place for them.

She was quiet for a moment.

Agreed. I don’t think Blake will be actively searching for the cubs now.

Why? What happened?

It’s a long story, but Olivia is playing both sides, it seems.

I frowned, wondering on which side her true loyalties lay.

We’ll need to be careful, I sent Winifred.

Yes. I’ll have Michelle send you the information for our new destination.

My phone beeped a few minutes later with the new hotel address, located just outside of Salt Lake.

I cleared my throat to gain the attention of the room. The cubs immediately turned to me.

“I have some good news and some bad news,” I said with a playful wink. “The good news is that you two get to stay here and watch cartoons and order room service until Santa brings you some presents. The bad news is that you need to make sure Paul stays in bed.”

Aden cheered and jumped on Paul. The boy grunted in pain but didn’t complain. Another few days and the bone would be knit solid again.

“That means you and Henry are leaving?” Liam asked. He still sat on the floor.

“Yep. We’re going to go pick up Mimi, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, and Nana Wini. Maybe even do some holiday shopping, too. Is there something you want from Uncle Jim?” I asked with a teasing grin.

The cub stood and came to me, his serious expression unaffected by the promise of presents. I picked him up without him needing to ask. His little arms wrapped around my neck as he hugged me.

“Races on our porch like we did this summer.”

He was telling me to come back. He was too smart. My heart ached a little, and I hugged him tighter in return.

“Aden and I are going to kick you and your dad’s butts.”

Aden whooped. Liam nodded and pulled away, signaling he was ready to be let down. I set him down and watched him return to his cartoons.

It didn’t take Henry and me long to pack a bag and say our goodbyes. Both cubs were back to watching cartoons already, their small bodies tucked against Paul’s sides. I worried I was making the wrong choice, but I worried more what would happen to them if they came with us.

Keep them safe, I sent Paul, pausing for one last look before closing the door.

Always.

HENRY…

I inhaled deeply as we left the lobby and stepped out into the cold. Nothing unusual scented the air. No Urbat. Nothing but the white snow drifting down from the grey mid-day sky as we walked to the new rental in the parking lot. There was no trace of the previous, destroyed car.

Jim unlocked the doors, and I got into the comfortable, leather passenger seat, glad we were finally moving again.

“Michelle’s going to run out of money at the rate we’re going,” I commented as I closed the door.

Jim snorted.

“I doubt that. Her gift likes to pop up just when we need it. Winifred feels bad about using her like that, but if it helps the pack…” Jim shrugged and turned the key. The engine purred to life, and he eased forward out of the parking lot.

Although his words could come across as indifferent, I knew better. He loved Michelle like I loved Paul.

“So why didn’t you leave me behind, too?” I asked. “Two are better than one for protection.”

“Given what just happened to the rest of the group, I think we’ll need you more than Paul will. Winifred believes Blake will leave the cubs alone now.”

“Why?”

“Because the new girl, Olivia, is feeding him information.”

Anger swelled inside me. My mom gave her life to keep the boys from the Urbat and Blake, and the new girl was giving him information? Was she the reason they’d found us?

“Calm down,” Jim said. “We don’t know whose side she’s really on. Until we do, we play it safe and we play it smart.”

“What does that mean?” I asked, frustrated.

“Be nice, but don’t trust.”

The supposed hour drive took twice that long because of the snow, road conditions, and other cars. Jim didn’t say much, and I spent the time thinking of Mom, Dad, and the upcoming holiday we’d always celebrated with the Cole family since as long as I could remember. All the laughter and family. It wouldn’t be the same ever again.

“Do you think there’s a chance they’ll let Dad go when they get what they want?” I asked.

Jim remained quiet for a moment, but I knew he’d heard.

“I think you want the truth from me, no matter how harsh. Am I right?”

“Yes.” I needed someone to say what I already knew so I could stop feeling guilty for thinking it.

“Since the Urbat want all werewolves dead, I don’t think they’ll be letting him go no matter what the outcome of this Judgement thing. That’s if they’re the ones who have him. There’s a possibility the humans have him, too. But, I don’t think that’ll change anything. I don’t think he’s coming back. And he knows that.”

My throat grew tight with grief, and anger formed a throbbing mass in my chest.

“I’ve been talking to him,” Jim went on to say. “Just sending, not receiving. Telling him you’re both okay. Sharing the little things he’s missing. Giving him something to think about. Something better than what they’re probably giving him.”

“Thank you. For talking to him and for telling me the truth. I figured as much.”

Neither of us spoke the rest of the way to the hotel. There wasn’t anything more to say. I focused on what Jim had shared and the future. Jim thought the girls would Judge in favor of the humans, but I wasn’t as sure. They all had werewolf Mates and neither Mom nor Gabby were too keen on their own kind. Whether they Judged in our favor or not, my plans wouldn’t change. Paul would be healed by then, hopefully, and we could start hunting for Dad. My chest tightened at the thought of having to wait, but I wasn’t some young cub who didn’t understand the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the one.

Plus, I knew enough about links to understand that I’d need an Elder to locate Dad. I glanced at Jim. Once the Judgement was made and the cubs were safe, I knew he’d help. Every member of our race mattered to all the Elders. Especially Jim.

Jim pulled into the parking lot, cut the engine, and grabbed the bag from the back seat.

“They’re a few minutes out yet,” he said, giving me the bag. “Go get us checked in, and I’ll run to get some supplies.”

“All right.”

He jogged down the dusted sidewalks, and I strode toward the lobby doors. This place had nothing on the prior place. The tree that waited just inside seemed pathetic compared to the twenty-foot fresh pine in the resort’s lobby.

I went to the desk and gave the lawyer’s name and my ID. After answering a few questions and signing a form, the guy handed over several key cards.

Instead of picking a room and dumping the bag, I took a seat on one of the sofas and impatiently watched the door.

Getting pizzas, Jim sent me. Everything okay?

I almost snorted. When he said supplies, I was thinking bandages. I should have known better. Jim being an Elder still didn’t fully make sense to me.

Yep. Waiting in the lobby, watching for the rest.

Winifred said they’re only a few blocks away now. I’m just around the corner. You see anything odd, yell.

Will do.

I leaned forward, focused and yet wondering what this new girl who worked with Blake looked like. It wasn’t hard to spot the group when they pulled in. The missing side window of the SUV and shattered windshield of Uncle Thomas’s car gave them away.

Leaving my bag behind, I stepped out into the snow again. Grey was the first one out of his car. He came to me and wrapped me in a big hug. I closed my eyes and exhaled, trying not to let his grief influence my own. Grey and Thomas had both been like second fathers to me.

“I’m so sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be. Mom did what she promised to do. She wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

A softly sniffling Michelle touched my back. Grey released me, and I turned to face her. Her red eyes and wet cheeks conveyed her pain as much as her scent.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like that, Henry,” she said, hugging me.

“I know. Don’t blame yourself. Blame Blake. I do.”

When she pulled back, Charlene waited behind her. She didn’t say anything, just pulled me into her arms. She hugged me like my mom would have. One hand on the back of my head, smoothing over my hair like Mom had done whenever I’d been hurt. I closed my eyes and returned the hug, letting myself soak up the comfort for just a moment. I could feel them all around me. My pack. My second family. Who would we lose next? The thought stirred my grief.

“All this death and pain…” Charlene said.

“It’s our reality,” a new voice said. “Our future.”

My gut clenched at the sound. It was her. I released Charlene and turned to find the source.

My gaze locked onto the prettiest pale-haired woman I’d ever seen. She stood tall at the back of the group. An ugly bruise marred her cheek and another tinted the skin of her neck. I barely noticed either of those, though, as I stared into her eyes. Black eyes, like her pupils had swallowed her irises. I shuddered but couldn’t look away, held under some kind of spell.

She didn’t move. My stomach started doing all sorts of crazy shit, and it took a moment to realize I was feeling the pull. If Mom were there, she would have been cheering. Thoughts of Mom smothered the persistent tug in my gut.

I shuddered and stepped toward the new girl, angry and ready to fight. Jim’s words stopped me. Be nice.

“You must be Olivia,” I said.

“I am.”

“You’re the one feeding Blake information?”

“Yes.”

I inhaled deeply, her sweet scent making my mouth water. The pull didn’t stop the anger, though. Not at her or Blake.

“Good,” I said. “I’m supposed to want a Mate above all else. But I don’t. I want Blake’s death more.”

She reached up and placed her cold hand on my cheek.

“There’s nothing I want more, too.”

I set my hand over hers and removed her touch.

“I won’t be the one,” I said. “I refuse to ever feel that loss again.”

She opened her mouth to say something more, but Winifred interrupted.

“Where’s Jim?”

I stepped back from Olivia and focused on Winifred, who stood just behind her.

“Getting everyone something to eat. I have the room keys.” I handed them over, and she immediately gave one to Sam.

“Get Clay to his room. I’ll be in to see if it’s something I can repair.”

It wasn’t until she said those words that I noticed Clay. He leaned heavily on Thomas and had one arm pressed around his gut.

“Like Mom?” I asked, staring at him.

“No, I’ll live,” Clay said. “I’m sorry about your mom.”

I nodded and watched the pair walk inside.

“What can I help carry?” I asked Winifred, who’d already taken Olivia’s arm.

“Anything Grey can’t.”

The rest of the group trailed after Winifred. It was then that I noticed Bethi’s limp and Luke’s support as well as Isabelle’s swelling eye and Carlos’s bloody arm.

Guiltily, I met Grey’s eyes.

“I should have noticed.”

“It’s hard to see other people’s injuries when you’re hurt, too. Come on, son, I’ll teach you how to be a bellboy.”

He clapped me on the back and led me toward the rear of the SUV. As I picked up the first of several bags, I caught sight of Jim further down the sidewalk. A towering stack of pizza boxes blocked his face from view. If that wasn’t enough to give away his identity, I easily recognized the walk.

Grey followed my gaze and chuckled.

“He’ll eat half those,” he said.

I nodded and picked up another bag.

“I felt the pull for her.”

“I know. We witnessed it, and acknowledge your interest.”

“I don’t want it acknowledged.”

He stopped picking up a bag to look at me.

“Why? It seemed real to me.”

“Because I want Blake’s death more than I want her teeth on my neck. Then, I want to find my dad.”

Grey nodded slowly.

“I understand.”

“So what happens now? With Olivia and me.”

“That’s up to the two of you.”

That meant they wouldn’t try to force anything.

“Good.”

Grey sighed and shook his head.

JIM…

Nothing smelled better than pizza in vast quantities. Well, not true. Any food in vast quantities smelled amazing. My stomach growled again, and I pushed aside the thought of stopping for another slice.

Stop thinking about eating that pizza, and get over here to help me talk some sense into Henry.

I looked around the boxes and saw Grey and Henry still in the parking lot.

Why? I sent back. What’s he doing now?

As soon as he saw Olivia, he felt the pull. We noted his interest, but he’s telling me he doesn’t want it.

Instead of relief, joy, or pride—emotions the rest of the Elders probably felt—pity wormed its way into my head. This was the worst possible time to find a Mate.

His mom just died, Grey.

I know. That’s what I’m trying to tell him, but he doesn’t believe his grief is the problem. He believes it’s the girl.

Maybe he’s right then. I’ve never known a truly interested male to walk away.

You didn’t see them together. He didn’t notice anything but her. And there was plenty more to notice. Hurry up with those pizzas so you can help Winifred stitch up Clay. His guts keep poking out. It might help control your appetite long enough for the rest of us to eat our fill.

Nothing can control my appetite. Believe me…Mom tried.

I stepped up next to the SUV and purposely bumped into Henry.

“Take a slice out of this top box and feed me a bite, will you?”

The lid hit the top of my head. It disappeared at the same time Henry groaned.

“This is really good. I could eat a whole box myself,” he said.

Does that sound like a man overwhelmed by the pull? I sent Grey as he led the way inside.

The stink of chlorine overpowered the beautiful scent of baked cheese and meat. I sniffed, trying to get the good smell back. Didn’t work. My eyes watered, and I breathed through my mouth to ease the burn in my sinuses.

“Set the pizzas in here,” Mom called.

I followed the sound of her voice, taking a few blind steps into the hotel room.

“I got those,” Emmitt said, taking half the stack from me.

With the top half gone, I glanced around the room. Clay lay on one of the beds, towels shoved under him to catch any bloody runoff from the gashes across his middle. Gabby sat near the headboard, cradling his head in her lap and stroking his hair while Winifred stitched him. No doubt it hurt, but the man looked like he didn’t mind the extra attention he’d gained because of his injuries.

Michelle sat on the bed, out of the way, next to Dad. Mom stood beside Winifred, handing her whatever supplies she needed from her homemade first aid kit.

“Want a piece of pizza while you’re pampered?” I asked Clay.

His beard twitched, and he shook his head slightly.

“Set the rest over here,” Emmitt said, motioning to the dresser next to the table, which he already had covered with pizza boxes.

Grey, still in the hall with Henry and the bags, nudged me aside. I half-turned to tell Henry to grab two boxes for us to take to our room but froze. Words escaped me.

Just inside the door, only a few feet away, stood a white-haired goddess. Her black eyes pinned me, staring into my soul as if determining my worth. And, I desperately wanted to be worthy.

The pizza boxes fell to the floor at the first wild tug in my gut. I inhaled, long and loud. She smelled like Winifred’s fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. I couldn’t think of a better smell on the planet no matter the quantity.

I took a step toward her, wanting to inhale every ounce of her scent. Realization kicked me between the eyes. Mate.

No. It couldn’t. I couldn’t. I’d taken the oath.

Pain exploded in my chest, making it impossible to breathe. The pain didn’t dull my awe and need. After Emmitt found Michelle, I’d been sure I would never have a chance. Fate didn’t work like that. Not twice in one family. But there was no denying what I felt as I stared at Olivia. She was my fated Mate. And I wanted her with every fiber of my being.

The pain clenched harder, like a physical fist around my heart.

I staggered back a step, and another, then collapsed to my knees.

“Jim, no!” Winifred yelled.

Mom started to cry.

I’d just sentenced myself to death.