(Sur)real

I itched to hit something. Bethi tried, but she sucked at holding back everything just as much as I sucked at not soaking everything up like a sponge. Deep breathing didn’t help. Focusing on Carlos in my head like a cute creeper didn’t help.

“Do you think the trunk’s air tight?” I asked after Bethi fell into one of her twitchy sleeps.

“You are not putting my Mate in the trunk,” Luke said crisply.

“Well, I’m trying to think of something because I need to stop again and at this rate, we’ll get there tomorrow.”

The car immediately started to slow.

“You should have said something,” Carlos said.

“Babe, I’m not going to whine every time I get the itch.”

“Your nose is bleeding. It’s not an itch.”

I swiped at my nose and rolled my eyes at the blood there. As soon as the car came to a stop, I got out and started walking.

“Be back in a minute,” I called over my shoulder. Disappearing into the trees, I kept going until I thought I had walked far enough. Then I looked up into the branches.

“If there’s any critters up there, you better run now.”

A horn echoed faintly in the distance.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. We’re on a schedule.”

I closed my eyes and tried to stop worrying about the squirrels.

“Funny. We’re on a schedule, too,” a male voice said.

I opened my eyes and found myself surrounded by twelve grinning idiots.

“Looks like you ran into a door,” one said.

I didn’t mess around. I exhaled what I had, inhaled what they tried to keep and pushed it all out again in less than a second. The effect was like a mini nuclear explosion. The first wave started the Urbat falling to their knees, the second wave knocked them backward off their feet. They all lay in a circle around me, their sightless eyes staring up at the sun speckled canopy.

Branches broke behind me, and I spun around, ready to fight. Carlos looked at the bodies, then me.

“No hitting?” he said.

“None. I promised.”

“Good.”

He came toward me and hugged me gently, careful of the bruises covering my body.

“Are you empty?”

“Completely.”

“We need to hurry back, now.”

Without another word, he picked me up and ran back to the car.

JIM…

The silence in the car continued as we drove. The land stretched out flat in all directions around us. Sand, rock, and some occasional low-growing shrub like plants dotted the expanse. There wasn’t much to see on our way toward Green River, just distant hazy mountains blended in with the light horizon.

The closer we drew, the more the distant mountains clarified into views of multicolored plateaus. I could see beauty in it, though. While I drove, I kept the rest of the group appraised of our location. They did the same for me.

Before long, I started seeing signs for the park.

“It’s almost time,” Olivia said. “It’s not easy to have courage knowing what we face.”

I opened my mouth to assure her that I would keep her safe, but she continued.

“Yes, I know I won’t be alone. That still doesn’t make this easier.”

“The Lady?” I asked, understanding she wasn’t talking to me.

“Yes.”

“Does she have anything useful to say about us not dying?”

The scent of Olivia’s fear and guilt filled the car. I inhaled deeply and glanced at her, unsure why she’d feel guilt.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

I hesitated. My gut said to keep quiet and wait it out. But, I thought back to Emmitt and Michelle’s crazy courtship. He hadn’t held back. He’d laid it all out for her and things had worked out fine. Yet, Michelle’s initial terror…I would never forget the look in her eyes when she realized I was like Emmitt. Sure, this was a little different. Olivia knew what I was, just like I knew what she was.

I decided to go for it.

“I think I’ve figured it out already,” I said. “My purpose.”

“Oh?” Her voice was faint.

“I’ve been asking myself, ‘why me,’ since the moment I saw you. Not because I regret our connection, but because the timing and the likelihood felt too set up. Mom’s a Judgement. Michelle’s a Judgement. What are the chances of me feeling the pull for the last one? And why after I became an Elder? You’ve said the Lady influences things. I think she influenced this. And why else pair a Judgement with an Elder of the werewolves but because I need to decide something on behalf of my people? The question that remains is what decision is it that she wants me to make?”

Her black gaze swept over my face.

“No, Jim. The question that remains is how much do you love your people?”

I didn’t answer, sensing it was rhetorical.

“You saw my back and understand what happened. I bargained with the Others. For their help, I paid with my flesh. That is my gift. I see what waits beyond the veil. I know what will come if the Judgement is not complete. And only I can complete it.”

My grip on the wheel tightened as I listened. I had to be misunderstanding.

“What are you saying?”

“I am Courage. I know my purpose. I am the sacrifice. The payment to complete the Judgement.”

I shook with rage. The road blurred as I fought the change. Hair sprouted on my arms. Olivia said nothing as I braked and pulled over.

Olivia would die? No. She was mine. The Lady gave her to me. I didn’t care if that meant an unfinished Judgement.

Pain shot through my chest. Gasping and struggling to breathe, I broke the steering wheel.

“Jim.” Olivia’s hands settled on my back and smoothed over my shoulders, leaving a chill under my shirt.

“I am yours. She chose you because only you have the strength and foresight to see what needs to be done. Do you love your people, your world, enough to help me fulfill my purpose? Because I can’t do this without you.”

In my mind, I railed at the Lady, hating her for placing Olivia in my care, for letting me touch her, taste her, love her. Why give her to me just to take her away? My throat closed with the increased pain. Grey crept in from the peripheral of my vision. None of that mattered as much as the possible absence of Olivia in my life after the Judgement. None of the pain hurt as much as that thought.

“Think of your mom. Of Emmitt and Michelle. Think of the two little boys you’ve left behind. Think of them, Jim,” she said, reminding me of my responsibility.

I realized in that pain-filled moment, either way, I would lose Olivia. If I tried to prevent the Judgement, we would all die. The pain began to ease as I understood.

After a few moments, I drew an unsteady breath. A few more slow breaths removed the grey from my sight. Sitting up, I looked at Olivia. Tears wet her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, Jim.”

She was going to die, and she was trying to comfort me?

I pulled her into my arms and kissed her like there would be no tomorrow because there wouldn’t. When we finally broke apart, she was gasping for air just as much as I had. I set my forehead against hers and let her scent wash over me.

“Tell me what I need to do to help.”

“For now, just stay close. And don’t tell the rest. I’m afraid they might try to stop it.”

OLIVIA…

Jim straightened away from me and focused on getting us back onto the road.

Resuming my silence, I waited and pretended each turn of the wheel wasn’t bringing me one step closer to my death.

The Others raced outside the car. The barren landscape slowly changed, providing them with rock formations to swirl around and inspect. I wanted to ask Jim to talk to me, to describe what he could see. But I could still feel him shaking through the seat.

Since the day the Lady told me to bite Blake, she’d explained my purpose. I’d grown up knowing I would die, just like every other creature on the planet. The only difference was that I knew when and how.

As much as his shock and anger at hearing the news upset me, it also warmed me. He truly did care. I hoped it would be enough to see the Judgement through.

“The others are already there. We’re close. But they’re closing in,” Jim said, his voice still low and raw.

“Who?”

“The Urbat.”

“Will we make it before they do?” Blake felt closer, but not yet close enough for concern.

“We will but Isabelle’s had to stop several times because of riding with Bethi. Winifred says that Isabelle ran into several Urbat groups already.”

“The fighter,” I said, mostly to myself. If any of us had to face a group of Urbat, she alone would survive.

“She’ll make it through without our help.”

“What about the rest?” he asked.

“Blake’s too smart to risk any of us. Forcing Isabelle will mean that she uses her ability around Bethi. No Judgement can be made if any of us die.”

The steering wheel groaned again.

“Except you,” he said.

“Except me,” I agreed. “But only at the right time.”

Sweat coated my palms, and I casually wiped my hands on my thighs. The sweating had started the moment we’d walked out of the restaurant. The moment I’d realized I’d eaten my last meal, felt my last sunrise, and had my last drink. It was the only thing I couldn’t seem to control. I could suppress my fear and keep my pulse steady, but I couldn’t seem to stop sweating.

“How long until we get there?” I asked.

“We passed the sign for the park several minutes ago. Winifred said they parked their cars to the side and went in on foot. It shouldn’t be far.”

I watched the road ahead. The Others raced back and forth, swirling around the first car as soon as it came into view. My stomach flipped wildly as they stretched out to cover the long line of stationary vehicles.

As soon as Jim stopped, he told me to stay put then jogged around the front of the car to open the door for me.

“The ground’s too rocky,” he said. “I’ll carry you.”

Safely in the cradle of his arms, I traveled toward my end. The Others swirled in a dizzying frenzy, sensing their time was near. They outlined our path, the towering pillars that guarded it, and the men standing on top.

As we passed, the men jumped down from their perches.

“Are they werewolves?” I asked softly.

“Yes. They will follow us in to keep us safe. The first of the Urbat are here now and closing in.”

He sped up, and I closed my eyes. With my ear pressed to his chest, I listened to his heartbeat and tried to enjoy each second.

Courage, the Lady said. You’ve had it since the beginning and will keep it until the end. The world will know your sacrifice.

I tried to let her words console me. I’d never doubted that the world was worth the sacrifice until I’d met Jim. Until I’d felt his lips on mine. I knew I had no choice, but I regretted we hadn’t had more time together.

Jim ran into a vast canyon. People milled about in the center. Jim approached a group standing slightly apart from the rest and set me on my feet. He didn’t let go, though. He threaded his fingers through mine and held me close.

“The Urbat will be here any minute,” Gabby said. “Isabelle and Bethi are just behind the final wave coming from the north. There are more coming from the east who will arrive around the same time.”

I could feel Blake drawing closer now that we’d stopped moving, and I turned my head in that direction. The direction from which we’d come.

“Bethi and Isabelle will arrive after Blake,” I said. “He won’t hurt them. He’ll focus on us, on killing the werewolves, until they get here. When they do, he’ll let them pass because he knows Isabelle will self-destruct if he tries something. Once she’s with us, though, I don’t know what he’ll try. As soon as she’s here, we need to make the Judgement as quickly as possible. Did Bethi and Isabelle discover the answer?”

“She thinks you only need to hold hands,” Winifred said.

The answer has been given and understood, the Lady said. This time, my daughters will not fail.

The Others wailed their displeasure so loudly, I winced and brought my free hand to my ear, not that it helped.

“What’s wrong?” Jim asked, pulling me protectively into his arms.

“The Others are upset that we have our answer.”