Sunset of the Wandering Souls

The words “Blue Moon Beautillion” sparked something in my mind, hurting my head to the point I had to squat down and hold it. I could remember vague images, few words of an argument between Innin and me. I rubbed at my temples and eyes while Pili crouched next to me. “I don’t…I’m not…not going.”

“We’ve been other this, Ezollen.” The clanking of metal only added to the static playing in the large gaps in my memory. “I really wish it hadn’t come to this.” I looked up at the circle of knights around me, Pili having been removed from my side to be replaced by Innin, perched flat footed in front of me. “I’m doing what’s best for you, never forget that.” He stood, putting his hands on his hips. “Take the Prince to the carriage and dispose of the gilled.” He turned to begin his walk back.

I was pulled to my feet by two knights, gripping my arms. “In…Innin,” I called, and he turned back around. “I’ll go. I’ll go, willingly. I’ll do anything you want just…do one thing for me, please.” He crossed his arms, and his tail curled around his leg, tucking itself in the top of his boot. “I want to bring Pili…as a guest.”

“You’ll do anything?” I nodded and he blew air through his teeth. “Fine. He can come, but after your Blood Moon Beautillion I’m clipping your wings.” He grabbed my arm to pull me along, the knights and Pili following us.

It was only later, when there were less eyes on us, that Pili thanked me and told me that I hadn’t needed to bring him with me. My mission was to find where I belonged, and I had found it. I responded that we agreed to travel the world together, and I wasn’t going to abandon him the first chance I got, especially since I had no recollection of Innin or even my role as the Prince of the Reissu. While I remembered having an argument with Innin over the Blue Moon Beautillion, I had no idea what it really was.

Innin dressed me in a cloak before we left the busy streets of the market. He pulled the hood over my head where it fell into my field of vision, engulfed me in its large, silky fabric. I kept walking with his hand tight around my wrist, the knights clanking alongside us. I wanted to know Pili was in our little group, but every time I picked my head up to pinpoint him, the less I was able to see in front of me. I took to staring at my black leather boots on the cobblestone streets. I was only allowed to push the hood off when Innin and I were safely in a carriage with the curtains drawn. I tried to peak out the fabric, catching a glimpse of a horse walking parallel with the carriage before Innin slapped my hand away.

We weren’t to stop unless absolutely necessary during our week-long trip back to the Interior. Innin didn’t talk much unprompted during the trip, the most he said was that he really was worried when I went missing for those few days. When I disclosed how I was going to travel with Pili in a breath, my back pressed up against the outside wall of the carriage, picking at my fingers, he tensed up and told me absolutely not.

“Why not?” I asked, whining. “Why do you have say over my whereabouts?”

“We’ll have this conversation later,” he said.

There was something so frustratingly familiar about those words. I thought on it before a mild pounding started in my head once more. I could hear all the times Innin had uttered that phrase, knew that later never came. I rubbed at my forehead, repositing myself on the velvety seat. “No, we’ll have it now.”

“Ezollen,” he practically growled, “we’ll have it later.”

“When’s ‘later’?” I asked, equally annoyed. “Later never comes, Innin.”

He crossed his arms and set his jaw, staring at me for a long while in silence. “I will not stand in your way of travel, if you can get your mother to humor your whims.”

I let out a huff and laid on my side on the seat. “Fine.”

The carriage grew quiet again as I picked at strands of my red hair against the crimson-colored chair. Innin watched me with an air of responsibility, like I was just a dog he was supposed to keep alive, not because he wanted to, but because he had to. I rolled onto my back so I wouldn’t have to look at him, instead taking careful observation of the bland carriage ceiling. I really wished Pili had been allowed in with us, maybe the silence wouldn’t have felt so stifling knowing I had someone on my side. I liked the way he stroked my head anyway. Slow and gentle, threading his fingers through my hair as they fell to my nape and shoulders.

The carriage stopped suddenly and Innin dove to catch me as I started to fall off the seat. I righted myself on the floor and he smoothed out my hair and shirt before telling me to stay right where I was and stepping out of the carriage. I waited a beat or two after he’d left to peek out the window to see what had caused our delay. There wasn’t much I was able to discern from the view I was given. Innin had his back to me, his tail held high. Whatever it was, it didn’t take long for him to whip back around, his yellow eyes seeming to lock onto mine and I dropped the curtain, inching away from the window. I didn’t want to stay here by myself and not know what it was that was happening outside. I sank down in the seat, crossing my arms and pouting when I heard Innin’s boots on the steps under the door.

He ducked his head and tucked his massive wings when he came back in. He took one look at me, sighed, and sat across from me once more. “It’s not the end of the world.” I opened my mouth to speak, but he held up a finger to silence me. “I’m only trying to protect you.” I looked down as the carriage started moving again, suddenly not wanting to talk back to him. “I know I’m mean and scary and unfair, I’ve heard it all from you before, but I do have your best interests at heart, Ezollen.” He took a seat next to me, and while I wanted to move away from him, there was something gnawing at my brain telling me he was the one person I could wholeheartedly trust. He put an arm around me and pulled me into him. “It was scary waking up somewhere you’ve never been and not remembering anything, wasn’t it?”

I nodded against his chest, swallowing the knot forming in my throat. “I only knew my name and I didn’t know I had horns or a tail or wings,” I said, tears starting to form. “I don’t know what a Blue Moon Beautillion is, just that I don’t want to do it. I didn’t know what my tribal name was, or what happened to me. I don’t remember anything about you, except that you always say later and then there’s no later.” I started crying harder through each of my sentences while he rubbed at my arm. “I don’t know who I am, Innin.” I wiped at my eyes, sniffling. He cradled my head against him, letting me cry until I exhausted myself.