Steeling Her: A Romance Novel

Carter

We needed some girl time today. And when I mean girl time, I mean, I’m about to roast Haley for blindsiding me about her brother coming to dinner the other night.

It was shady and uncalled for. I’m livid. I didn’t think that she would do something like that. When I asked her about it afterwards, she told me it slipped her mind, meaning she did it on purpose.

Despite her “confession,” I still don’t know the motive behind it.

I’m also mad at her fiancé for not informing me either. They were tight-lipped about his arrival. I did not know that he’d be coming to LA, let alone play on the same team with Chris. Chris is harboring unhappy feelings about him too. I can see that much. He saw how distraught I was about our breakup and I penitently took it out on everyone but Nick. I stayed neutral in front of TJ and Haley as best as I could because I didn’t want Nick knowing how I was handling things. I didn’t want to put them into an awkward position. It wasn’t their fault, it was his choice.

“Are you waiting on someone else or would you like to order now?” The young waitress positions herself next to our table and I instantly drop the frown I know I was holding.

I’m just mad in general today too. Jody had returned from her sister’s wedding and has gone through the catalog of men at her beck and call. Anything she ever does involves a guy hanging off her arm. Half of the time, I really question how accurate she’s telling the story.

It’s so emblematic of her, too, but she overexaggerates on everything, and I do mean everything.

She really is a beautiful woman. She doesn’t need the praise for it, either, she knows she is. Most of the young men that walk into our office ogle her as if their lives depended on it. Her voluptuous figure gets the guys attention as soon as she enters the room. She demands their attention, and it works for her. It’s doesn’t help that she’s actually pretty smart, but she can be such a hypocrite. Her sex life is the primary focus on most days and the rest of us can’t bear to listen to how quickly she can make a guy have a boner just with one simple look.

Yeah, we get it, you’re hot.

She yakked the whole day about this guy she hooked up with on the flight on her way back to LAX. She kept talking about how ripped and rugged he was and that they were both officially in the mile high club. I think I was more astonished at the thought that she hadn’t joined the club previously. She was convinced he was an athlete too. I have no doubt in my mind that she’s the type that could pull one into bed with her at this day and age. She seduces just about anyone into whatever she wants to do, and she’s good at it too. Well, she’s just very blunt.

She didn’t say what his name is. If she did, I sure as hell wasn’t listening to her like most people at work.

“We have one more coming, but I think this woman needs a glass of your house wine. White, and make it two please.” Danielle holds up two fingers, notifying to the waitress the order before Haley arrives.

Chris dropped both of us off at this restaurant. We have a girls night every two weeks to chat and catch up. The guys sometimes gather at Chris and Danielle’s house because he has to keep an eye on Taylor. Taylor loves hanging out with all the guys, too, she gravitates to them when they’re around when she warms up to them. Now she has another one to swarm to.

I was pretty furious at Haley when we were at the restaurant, but it was such huge news that I couldn’t hold the grudge that day and ruin it for them. I just couldn’t do that to either of them. It wouldn’t have been fair.

So, I waited until today.

“Talk to me.” Danielle settles herself across from me, placing her lavish handbag down beside her. I shake my head and sigh loudly. “It’s about Nick, isn’t it?” Just hearing his name makes me fist my hands harshly. Not because I want to punch him, but because I could feel my hands longing to run my fingers across his skin once more. I categorically hate myself for feeling this way.

“I just . . .” I stop myself because I don’t know what to even say at this point. I can’t get over seeing him again. Even if it’s been five years, the heartache is still there, it still lingers. As much as I loathe myself for even thinking that while I’m in a relationship. God, why am I doing this to myself? “It wasn’t fair,” I speak softly to my hands that are toying with one another. I feel disgusted with myself. I feel like I’m cheating on Ted even when I have done nothing. I feel dirty and I’m sick about it. My heart feels heavy just thinking about it.

“I know, it wasn’t cool for her to do.” My head snaps up when I hear her agree with me. “Don’t give me that look.” She stares pointedly at me but a smile rests on her glossy lips. Danielle is a far cry from the student she once was, scrimping and saving for money each week. Now, she’s a mother of one and living the life with my brother who is obsessed with her.

“You agree with me? I thought you wouldn’t,” I confess, slightly amazed. Once the waitress reappears with our glasses of wine, she sets them down and we take our first sizeable mouthful. We both moan, more at the feeling than the taste of something cool and alcoholic being swallowed. It’s been a rough few days.

“Yes, I agree with you. She was in the wrong with keeping that huge information to herself; same goes for TJ. I know they’re loyal to him, and I get that, but they have loyalties to you too. They should have at least given you a heads up. Unless they wanted to surprise you?” She shrugs, breathing in deep with the flavor that was laying in her mouth.

“Surprise me? With what? A heart attack?” I exclaim quite loudly.

“Or life?” she mutters, sipping on the cooling beverage.

“Life? What the hell does that mean?” I counter, a little bit offended. Do I look dead to her or something?

“Hey, girlies!” Haley rushes in through the door with a few shopping bags on her arms. Both of us look over towards her at the entrance to see the mass of blonde hair whipping through the surrounding air. She shuffles around to hug us both but I’m too mad at her to reciprocate it. “Traffic was awful on the way here with TJ.” She rolls her eyes heavenward and plonks herself next to Danielle on the far side of the table. “You guys ordered without me?” She pouts and I glower back at her, making her eyes widen a little. “I knew you’d be pissed at me . . .” She exhales and drops her hands below the table in defeat.

“Damn right, I’m pissed at you! Haley, you could have warned me,” I tell her off with a harsh edge in my tone. The look she’s giving me is one of shock and hurt, like she knows how badly it had affected me. More than I care to actually admit.

“Look, I am sorry for springing it all on you. He arrived early Monday morning and is staying with us until he finds a home for himself. Not for the lack of finances, he’s the richest guy I fucking know.” She smirks and stretches across for the menu standing on the table in front of her. “I get it was a shitty thing to do, and I’m sorry about that; I really and truly am. I know how hurt you were when you both broke up. It wasn’t my intention to bring back up those emotions and feelings,” she promises me. I can tell by the glint in her eyes that she means it. She’s saddened about it too and could gauge from my reaction right now that I was really put in a bad position, and yet I still loved seeing him.

“Then why did you do it?” I ask with impatience. I just need to understand why she threw me to the wolves.

“I wanted everyone to know TJ and I got engaged, and if I told you he was coming, you wouldn’t have come at all. I know it was selfish on my part, but I just wanted everyone to be there to celebrate,” she confesses. The sad part about it is that if she really had told me that Nick was going, I wouldn’t have shown up at all and would have missed out on the amazing news with everyone.

I would have missed out on it all and I probably would have been angrier at her for that then what I’m feeling right now. I understand why she did what she did. Haley wanted us all to be happy for them and to celebrate with them. My breakup five years ago shouldn’t have deterred her decision, and I feel so responsible about that. “Can you forgive me?” she pleads, placing both of her elbows on the table to prop her head up, all while batting her eyelashes in my direction.

I roll my eyes at her and chuckle. “That’s emotional blackmail.” I point at her and sit back in my seat, pretending like I’m weighing it out.

“But you still love me.” She grins and flicks through the menu, trying to find a drink to order.

“Somewhat debatable,” I tease her. Her eyes flick back up to mine and they lightheartedly glare back at me.

“Can I try your wine?” She points at Danielle’s glass. Danielle pushes it so it’s in front of her. She lifts the glass and tilts it into her lips, taking a quick sip to evaluate the offer. “Yeah, I want one of those too.” She waves the waitress back over to order a bottle of the wine and we all order what we want for the evening.

When we finally decide, after countless minutes of me debating back and forth and the two women tapping their feet impatiently what I want from the menu, we order our meals and talk about what has been happening in our lives.

“So, Taylor’s birthday is coming up, as you all know.” The little princess mentions it every five minutes when you’re with her. “I’m going to throw her a party at the house and people can come and go as they please. It’s invite only and, of course, you’re both invited,” she jokes and we both clap dramatically back at her. “Would you feel awkward if I invited Nick?” she asks me. I hold the contents of the wine in my mouth for a little longer, trying to figure out how I actually feel about it.

We have done the awkward meeting already, so it’s not up to me. If she wants to invite him, she can invite him. She doesn’t need permission from me—neither of them do—and I shouldn’t be making them feel like that. “Guys, I don’t like the fact that you feel the need to ask and/or run it by me. If you want him there, then you want him there. He’s you’re brother”—I point at Haley—“and he’s your friend.” I point at Danielle. “If you want him there, that’s fine. That’s your choice, don’t mind my opinion. Sure, it’ll take time to get used to it, but I’ll have to get used to seeing him eventually since he’s going to be on the Chargers with my brother, and I might as well start now,” I say to them. Sure, it’ll be strange for us to be hanging out again but it’ll be good in the long run. I know it might hurt a little, but my heart went through that horrible ride before. It stuck it out and I know it can do it again. I hope.

“Okay, then I need to also tell your dad about him coming,” Danielle quickly informs me and starts to gulp down the rest of the wine in her glass, looking anywhere around the room but me.

“Oh shit, I’ll have to warn Nick too,” Haley groans and makes a note on her phone to remind herself of things she needs to do. We usually all go home a drunken mess after these catch ups, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s not that we set out to do it, it’s just that we have so much fun that we keep ordering the drinks and end up absolutely wasted. We don’t get to do it as much as we would like to, and sometimes we miss days where we’re all just so diligent.

My dad is and will always be my protector. The first man I’ve ever come to love with all of my heart. He will always be there for me until the day I die. He wanted to give Nick a piece of his mind when he found out that he dumped me. He arrived on campus and came straight to my dorm with my mom not far behind and saw just how bad I actually got. My face and eyes were puffy and red, I had lost a severe amount of weight and I had broken out from the stress it had caused me.

Danielle had called Chris explained to him what had happened and how I was. He didn’t believe how bad I had gotten until he arrived at my door. It had taken a lot of convincing to get me to open up and once I did, he took me in his big arms and squeezed me until I could talk to him. I couldn’t form any words the day he came. He held me for that entire day and night until I was ready to tell him what had actually happened. I give him a lot of credit for helping me piece myself back together, but he still holds a grudge on Nick. He’s that type of man.

“My dad holds a lot inside, he always has, but he won’t cause a scene at his first grandchild’s birthday party. Yes, he doesn’t like Nick for what he did five years ago, and yes, he will still harbor that dislike for him, but my dad is mature when he deals with this sort of thing. He’ll be cordial, he won’t be coming in guns blazing and ready to shoot at Nick, but he won’t be coming in with open arms waiting for a hug. He’s big and scary, yes, but he won’t do that because he knows I wouldn’t want that. It’s in the past now, and I don’t need it to happen because I haven’t told Ted about him yet.” I wince at the last part.

Yes, I haven’t told him about Nick and, to be honest, I never thought that I would have to. It’s not that I don’t want to tell him, I just don’t know how I should. He’ll be irate that I kept it from him, and I get it, but it’s hard for me to talk about it.

“You haven’t?” Haley asks, a little stunned. The clink of two glasses are made as they are set onto the marble table we are sitting by. I breathe before I look at their judgemental stares.

I know I should have told him that night I went to his house, and I had every intention to tell him, but I just couldn’t. It wasn’t the right time. He was swamped by his work and I didn’t want to add this to his menu of never-ending dilemmas. I shake my head from side to side, slightly ashamed about not telling him. “Why?” Haley asks. There was something in her voice that I just couldn’t figure out. It was higher than usual. Her face says she cares about the answer but her voice says something a little different. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

It was strange.

“I was planning on telling him about the night of the dinner. I saw him afterward and I just . . .” I stop, thinking how I was going to phrase this. “I couldn’t. Nothing was coming out, no matter how hard I was trying to tell him, I kept pushing it away. My mind was swimming and I was still in a lot of shock after seeing him.”

I curse at myself for saying the last part. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have kept my mouth padlocked. I should have kept that little detail to myself. Now it’s out there, and judging by their faces, they picked up on it instantly.

“Shock?” Haley blurts out, confusion laced in her words. “What do you mean by ‘shock?’ ” She uses air quotes when speaking to me. I mentally reprimand myself.

Fuck me and my big mouth.

“I wasn’t expecting him to be there, that’s what I mean. It was so out of the blue, and I didn’t realize he was the new quarterback for the Chargers. I don’t know what’s been happening in the NFL recently,” I affirm. That was the truth, just not the whole truth. Fuck, I feel so sick right now.

“Have you been living under a rock lately? Nick’s face is everywhere, and I mean every-fucking-where, Carter. This deal has been the hottest topic the past few weeks, controversial some might say, how have you not seen this?” Danielle exclaims in disbelief.

I understand where she’s coming from, football is like a religion to me. I adore the sport, and I love watching it in any chance I get. It’s strange that I haven’t seen much of it, and I feel like I’m not myself, which prompts me to make time for it now that the season is coming back.

“I have been overwhelmed with work the past while. I’ve been taking Jody’s clients for the past week and that means longer hours for me.” I take another sip of the wine in a small huff.

“Do you not watch it when you’re home?” Haley asks out of genuine curiosity, and I reply with a no.

“Sometimes I’d stay over at Ted’s place, and you both know what he’s like with football, and when I do go home I usually crash in bed because I’m so exhausted,” I say to defend myself. I hate that I haven’t had much of a chance to keep up to date with all the trades. Work has been hectic and I rarely have time for myself. I wish I did, then I wouldn’t be in this position.

“Honey, you look like you need a spa day.” Haley kneads my hand and I glare at her. Rude much? “You need to unwind, you don’t look like you need your face fixed, Carter. You’re so sensitive these days.” She tilts her head to the side pressing her lips together into a small sympathetic smile.

“I know,” I groan and lean my head back towards the ceiling. “I just don’t know how to deal with this. Ted will either flip or he won’t care, and I have a feeling it’s not the second one. This will just give him more of an excuse to not watch football; he’ll guilt me into it too. Maybe I shouldn’t tell him?” The drinks are getting the better of me right now. I’m nearly on the verge of spilling my deepest darkest secret that could potentially land me in a lot of trouble.

“Carter, that’s not how a relationship should work. He should let you do the things you like doing, not dictate what you can and can’t do. That’s not right, and if Chris did that to me, I wouldn’t stand for it.” Danielle is right, she’s always fucking right. It’s annoying at times, but now, it’s actually helpful.

The sweet aroma of the food that we had ordered hails us at a perfect time. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m tired. So, I nod in response and dig into my food, as do the rest of them, leaving that topic alone. They’ve known me long enough to know when to press things and when to drop them altogether, right now being one of them.

***

Nick

“You’ll be alright, man. Chris is actually a cool guy.” TJ has been trying to coax me into going over to Chris Steel’s house for the past hour. I gave into him just to shut him up but it didn’t work. He’s still trying to encourage me to go when I’m already in the fucking car. “Yeah, sure I didn’t bang his sister and break up with her in the sp—OW!” I punch him hard in the arm to let him get the picture already. Giving a dead arm is one of my finest skills I’ve learned, and I’ve mastered it to a fine art.

“You know, you really need about ten filters between your mind and mouth TJ. Fuck, do you not think I already know that I dated his sister and slept with her? Christ, TJ, sometimes you can be a real idiot, huh?” I snap because I’ve reached my limit. “Just . . . shut up and drive.” As much as I love him as my best friend, I could really murder him and bury his body in the Hollywood hills.

I feel shitty enough as it is, and I don’t need him on my case about what I already know. I could still see she’s hurting. I did that to her—I did. I could see it clearly in her eyes when we left the restaurant. The last comment she made cut my heart in two, but I knew I deserved it.

Don’t get too distracted.

Those words left a bad taste in my mouth branded within me.

I know what I did was an asshole and selfish move even though I wanted her. I still do, but I was so young and naive to think that I couldn’t have either. I was talented enough to have both, and I fucking regret it all. If I could go back in time, I would have stayed with her, loved her, cherished her, and adored her like she deserves to be.

Now, I just need a plan to win her back. I need her back, and I will crawl on my hands and knees to get her back as my girlfriend again. I will do anything.

So, to start off, I need to know about the competition. Ted Cradock, I’ve stalked you on social media. Do I hate you? Yes. Do I think you’re an asshole? Yes. Do I think you’re a mama’s boy? Yes. Do I think you’re a family man? No, and that’s where I have some sort of an advantage; albeit, the situation with my dad right now is still a touchy subject and it’s something I have yet to talk about with someone besides my mom.

Carter is all about family and I love that about her. That’s why she’d make the perfect wife and mother. I admire that side about her. When we dated, I liked being around her family. I liked talking with her brothers when they didn’t loathe me. Her mom even liked me and her dad rooted for me too. It was a good situation to be in, but I’ve no doubt that I’m on each of their shitlists.

We drive up to a gate, where there is a security guard outside. He knows TJ and smiles at him, then checks us off as the barrier raises to allow us through. A private estate; I expected nothing less from Chris. He’s big on safety and spending the money on it. I know from TJ that he prohibits any pictures being taken of his little girl, Taylor, by the media. I have to say, I respect that. I would probably do the same with my own family. TJ tells me he’s very protective of her and Danielle, and he doesn’t need to say it twice. I knew about his protective side when I dated Carter. It runs in their blood.

“Nice place,” I mutter and check the houses out as we make our way through the gated community. Well gardened homes, lavish and expensive architecture, I’ve no doubt that Chris’s house will be the same. He’s always been into the good quality shit, from what I can remember. Plus, he’s made it big in this game. When TJ parks up in a very costly looking driveway, I couldn’t help but let a gasp escape my mouth.

This place is fucking huge.

Holy shit.

“Big, huh?” TJ asks me with a wide smirk on his face. As we unbuckle ourselves from the car, I exit like a child at an amusement park, staring with wide eyes and an open mouth at the mansion that exudes money right in front of me. I’ve never seen one so big in my life, and I’ve lived in different spots around the country. This shit is next level, I’ve got to get me one of these places, but it would be quite lonely if it were just me.

That’s why I’ve always opted for an apartment or condo. It’s smaller and suits me perfectly because it’s just me, but looking at Chris’s house, I kind of want one of my own now. As we climb up the steps to the door, we eventually get to it and stand outside, looking up at the exterior. TJ pushes the doorbell and we wait for any signs of movement.

“This place is fucking massive, man.” I chuckle and he nods along with me, silently agreeing.

We both hear a little squeal come up to the door and something slams their body on it to stop themselves. I bet that was Taylor. TJ has told me she’s a tough little cookie, like her mom, and I have no doubt in my mind that Chris has his hands full with this little princess.

The door gets pulled open and we both see a tiny little girl in pink Sleeping Beauty pyjamas, her soft brown hair tied up into a ponytail. She stares at us with a bottle of milk in one hand and the door handle in the other.

“Hello!” She smiles at both TJ and me.

“Taylor, what have I told you about running off when you’re eating dinner? And you’re not supposed to answer the door by yourself!” Chris scolds her from behind but all she does is smile at me.

“Who are you?” She points at me, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her. I squat down, her eyes following me.

“I’m Nick, you must be Taylor? I’m a friend of TJ’s and your mom’s. I’m also on the same team as your dad,” I say to her and she nods rapidly before she’s picked up into Chris’ arms. She looks very much like him, borderline looking like Carter, and her attitude must come from her mom. Definitely a mini-Danielle.

“Yeah! I’m Taylor!” She squirms in her dad’s hold to get closer to me. “You play with my daddy?” she asks and I nod.

“I’m new to the team. I haven’t played with him yet, but I will be soon,” I inform her. She’s engrossed in what I’m saying and it’s quite funny to watch her facial expressions change with each word I say.

When I found out that Danielle was pregnant from Haley, I called her up immediately and congratulated her. I knew she was wary at first to accept my call but she did and I was glad to talk to her so I could tell her that she and Chris will be amazing parents. I still keep in contact with her every so often to check in on her and to see how she and the rest are doing. I always thought she was a good friend, and I have immense respect for her.

“I’ll be watching you with my mommy. We always watch when it’s here.” She points to the floor and I couldn’t help the smile grow on my face. She’s adorable. “Do you want to come to my birthday party? It’s on Saturday and we’re swimming in the pool,” she offers and I could see Chris’s head snap around to her in shock.

“That’s still in the works, honey, we have to talk to mommy about that first, but everyone you want will be there.” He kisses the side of her head and nods for us to follow him.

“But I want them at my party, Daddy!” she whines and tries to climb over her shoulder to get to TJ and me once again so she can talk to us. She has no consideration that she could fall from a significant height if she disregards the helping hands that keep her steady.

“Taylor, quit moving around!” She starts throwing a tantrum and laughs at the same time.

“But I want to talk to Uncle TJ and my new friend!” She giggles and her dad starts to tickle her to get her to stop climbing all over him. It’s very funny to watch this big beefy hulk of a man go all soft for his daughter in a heartbeat.

“Taylor has taken a liking to you and I’m slightly offended about that.” TJ nudges his shoulder into mine as he smiles.

“Why? She calls you ‘Uncle TJ,’ ” I mock him, while he laughs.

“Yeah, but do you know how long it took for her to say that? And yet here’s you just walking through the door, and suddenly, you’re her new friend,” he says in his best girlie voice that makes everyone laugh raucously at him. You can always count on TJ to make you laugh.

“Do I hear a hint of jealousy in that tone, TJ?” Chris asks over his other shoulder once he’s got Taylor to calm herself in his arms.

“Maybe.” He sticks his tongue out at Taylor. She cackles and does it right back. He walks into the living room where there is another person sitting on the sofa scrolling through his phone. “Well, if it isn’t Greengate himself.” TJ catches his attention and Jason Greengate, another teammate of mine, stands up to greet him. When they hug each other, TJ steps back and allows me to greet him. “You know Nick, the newbie on the team.” I shake his hand and roll my eyes at TJ.

“I pity you being best friends with this idiot.” He points at TJ and he jokes back by blowing him a kiss. TJ flirtily waves his hand in the air, acting like a complete tool. I can’t believe my sister is about to marry him.

“You both love me and you know it.”

“I love you too, Uncle TJ!” Taylor returns to our side with a bowl of cereal that I have no doubt she’s supposed to be eating at the table and not in the living room. When a large arms swoops, in confirming my theory, she starts to whine and pout back at her dad.

“Seriously, kid, can you not sit at the table and eat that first? Then you can talk to them,” he mumbles under his breath but everyone can hear it. All three of us snort at how much of a handful this kid is but I don’t think Chris would have her any other way. I can see that he’s unquestionably smitten with her and he treats her exactly the same way Rodger treats Carter; with love.

We all congregate in the living room for some food. No drinks were poured as the season is coming up. I usually go on a drinking ban for the duration. Most players do. The alcohol can affect the training and routine we have and if that’s messed up, then so are our minds. None of us take a chance on it nowadays; it’s too risky and dangerous, especially if you’re playing a contact sport like football. I have a strict routine and diet for myself, and it has helped tremendously to keep my mind focused on the game and the results. With that being said, this pizza isn’t included in the nutritional diet that’s planned out for me.

“You guys want something to drink?” Chris asks us as we kill two birds with one stone. We’re watching game tapes for the next game we have coming up and Jason is pointing out some vital information to me. This is what they do when the girls have their night to themselves and, to be honest, I kind of like it.

“Water for me, man,” TJ requests at Chris’ retreating figure.

Jason and I mumble for the same drink. Chris has not outrightly spoken to me since setting foot into his home. I know he’s waiting for Taylor to go to sleep before he clamps down on me. I’ve mentally accepted that he’s going to do that. It’s only a matter of time.

He throws us the bottles when he comes back and gently kisses Taylor’s head while she mindlessly plays on the floor with her toys. I have caught her staring at me a few times and each time she’s beamed at me, giggled, and shied away out of my sight. She’s a cute kid.

After a few moments of her playing with her dolls, she tells Chris that she’s sleepy and wants to cuddle with him. I watch her crawl up on the sofa and up towards Chris. Climbing onto his lap, she settles herself so she’s laying on his chest and her head is buried into the curve of his neck. She smiles to herself when he repeats the kiss on her head. Again, catching her eye, she smiles, but this time it doesn’t reach her eyes. She’s tired, and I know Chris is thankful, he’s almost yawning too.

My eyes flick up to his as I bite into my pizza that we ordered a while ago. I latch on to his stare and I chew, and chew, and chew until it’s time to swallow.

“She’s adorable.” I point at his daughter that is slowly falling asleep on his shoulder.

“I know.” He nods and looks away from me. Cold and clipped, so I decided maybe now isn’t the time. I put my slice down and pick up my water but stop when I hear his voice again. “She is half of me, and I’m freaking adorable.” He smiles confidently and I snort shaking my head from side to side. He still resides the same sense of humour and that’s good to see, no wonder Danielle is with him.

“She must get fondness of guys from you too,” Jason mutters as he side-eyes Chris bravely.

“You’re just annoyed she doesn’t have a crush on you, and thank God for that,” Chris playfully chides him and Jason rolls his eyes, trying to subdue his smile and act like he’s angry, but he’s failing horrendously.

“Listen, we all know who she really loves here.” Jason puffs his chest out.

“She called Nick ‘her friend’ today, and that’s further than you’ve gotten in two years of seeing her, Jason. Just face the facts, kid, she hates you.” We all break our hearts laughing at how brutally funny TJ’s words were. Even Jason is laughing at him. However, that makes Taylor stir in her dad’s arms and we all quiet down instantly.

“Fuck you, man!” Jason whispers.

“That’s Haley’s job.” TJ winks and I smack him on the back of his head, telling him to shut up.

“Don’t even start, TJ,” I warn him. I could hear a brash laugh coming from the other side. It’s coming from Chris. I sit there, slightly baffled about the whole ordeal, and I look to my left to see TJ equally as confused. When he settles down again, he decides to lift Taylor up and bring her to bed.

Weird.

“What was that about?” Jason wonders and I couldn’t even begin to guess what was going on in Chris’s mind. All of us watch the empty door frame a little perplexed.

“No idea? I didn’t realize Nick was that funny,” TJ jokes. Jason giggles. I’m not; it wasn’t funny. I feel like there was something a little more to it than what meets the eye. Perhaps something deeper?

As soon as he walks back inside the living room, he secures his position and I observe him. As if he can feel his eyes on me, he turns his head around. I feel my eyes squinting to try and read his. I let it slide and leave it be, letting him have whatever he thought of when I spoke to TJ.

We sat and analyzed the opposition for the better part of three hours. Each of us gives our opinions about each player on opposing team and memorizing their play and defense to see if they had any exposed spots. Safe to say, we found a few and will run them by the head coach when Monday comes around. I have yet to start training with the full team. I have only just arrived in LA, and already I’m being thrown into all of this. I’ve played with TJ the longest. I know his play inside and out.

Now we’ve moved onto poker.

“How come Ted never came to the announcement?” Jason wonders, piquing my interest. I flick my eyes up to Chris and see he’s already examining me with a frown.

Slowly, his eyes meet Jason’s so he could reply, “He was working.” TJ rolls his eyes at the reasoning.

So he’s a workaholic?

“That dude is always working.” Jason joins him with the eye roll. I’m starting to wonder if these guys like Carter’s boyfriend at all. Thinking about it makes me smile a little, but TJ and Chris catch onto me. “Like, is he working or is he ‘working?’ ” Jason uses air quotes and Chris’ eyes dart back to him in fury.

Chris brings his eyes to stare at me deep in mine and replies to Jason, “Don’t even start, Jay.” He slowly brings his dilated pupils back to the game, and I almost get whiplash from him going back and forth. He quoted me, and I knew there was more to that laugh.

Letting it slide, again, I click my phone on to see the time.

It’s way past midnight. We could hear the door swing open in at the front, causing us to stop our game for a moment. Cards were put face down on the table as we waited. Chris has gone into a protection mode in an instant with the little girl sleeping upstairs.

A few giggles later, and I could hear Danielle say, “Come on Carter, stand up for me!” I immediately perk up. Chris settles his expression as we hear them walking in. When they turn through the kitchen, Chris was in the middle of drinking of his water bottle as he twists his neck around to see the three of them. He nearly spits it out and I stand to my feet in an instant. Carter’s head is hanging loosely from her shoulders with Danielle and Haley desperately trying to hold her up.

She’s wasted.

“What the fuck happened?” Chris rushes over to them and takes Carter into his arms while TJ makes his way to a giggling Haley. I haven’t taken my eyes off Carter, her arms motionless and her whole body like a rag doll. She has lost control. I’ve never seen her like this before.

“She drank too much; it only hit her in the taxi home,” Danielle slurs and rests her hand on her head. All of them look drunk, but Carter is on another level.

“Don’t tell Ted . . .” Haley rolls her eyes. I couldn’t help but notice the way people in this group say his name. Do people like him or not? I don’t get it.

“Carter?” Chris shakes her, trying to get her to wake up. He repeats himself but she just mumbles incoherently.

“I’m going upstairs to check on Taylor.” Danielle drunkenly decides and makes her move out of the kitchen. None of them are thinking straight right now, that’s for sure.

“Ugh, fuck! Danielle don’t wake her up. Danielle!” Chris scolds her quietly, debating whether to go after her or not. He looks at his younger sister and then the counter. “Fuck! Danielle, get back here! Jason, will you get her a water bottle?” Jason nods in amusement and follows his order, making his way over to the refrigerator while TJ and Haley are talking amongst themselves.

Chris has placed Carter up against the cabinets for support, her head drooping and her hair curtaining her beautiful face. While I gawp at her, I could see her frame beginning to tilt. Her body slides down the cabinets to get to the counter, and I rush over to help her stay up. Her head jolts back and her eyes open. The faint recognition on her face takes me back a little.

“Nick?” Carter mumbles. I nod, holding on to both her arms, making sure she’s sitting upright. Her head slams against my chest and both her arms raise up. Not knowing what she’s doing, she wraps them around my neck and draws me closer to her.

Subconsciously, I take her hips in my hand and she sighs in a slightly loud volume. It feels like old times. I’m not allowed or supposed to have her in my arms, and yet here she is. “You still smell the same,” she mumbles on my neck.

I forget how to use my limbs. Her warm breath fanning my skin is setting it alight. I’m on fire.

She’s drunk, wishing she wasn’t, mumbling nothing and everything, and doesn’t know what she’s doing. As much as I’d like to tell myself that this is what she wants, I’m pretty sure she thinks she’s still at the bar they went to. Therefore, making her judgment invalid.

“Here’s the water.” Jason pulls me out of my reverie and hands me the chilled bottle that he had just opened.

“Thanks.” I nod in appreciation while taking it from him.

She needs to sleep this off. She’ll have one hell of a hangover in the morning, I know that much.