Standing Out

If I were given the opportunity to be just like my sister, I would definitely take it. Jeanne is constantly earning accolades for her countless academic successes and she is so popular. She is also normal, unlike me.

I’m intelligent, but not like her. She’s always coming home complaining about the one point she got off on her test, even though her grade is still an A. Her teachers are so used to her arguments for points that they jokingly threaten to take more off if she keeps complaining.

At assemblies they always boast about what a wonderful student and person she is. What really annoys me is that she joined the “Buddy” Program and has a “friend” from the Special Needs classroom in her Middle School. She takes this “buddy” with her and they go places and have fun together. She was never a “buddy” to me.

Lately though, Jeanne has opened up to me a bit more. She’ll actually have meaningful conversations with me now and then. Even better, I found a crack in her wall that assists me with eavesdropping when she won’t play with me.

Just yesterday, Jeanne invited her boyfriend, Jack, over so that they could hang out. She certainly overlooked some negating variables when it comes to alone time, however. One of those variables was me. I just had to be in on the gossip and I wanted to know if when my sister locked her door, she was kissing that gross boy. I used the hole in her wall to the best of my ability, peering through it earnestly.

Jack was running his fingers through Jeanne’s long auburn hair and staring longingly into her deep chocolate eyes. “Every time I see you, you are more beautiful than the last.” He murmured.

All pompous Jeanne could say was, “I know. If I were you, I would be so lucky.” I was surprised that her comment didn’t offend Jack; he just kept gazing at her affectionately, his brown eyes gleaming with amusement. Jeanne returned his gaze, remarking, “You know how jealous Brianna is of us? It’s crazy, isn’t it?” Jack laughed, indulging in her merriment.

I suddenly felt bad for whoever this Brianna was. If she knew that Jack had laughed at what Jeanne had said about her, she would be even more heartbroken.

“She is always staring at you. When she’s not, her eyes are intently fixed on me. A few days ago, I returned her cold stare and glared back at her. It still fills me with amusement.” They both rolled over hooting.

I narrowed my eyes. Maybe my sister wasn’t so good at faking her personality at school. I bet she just doesn’t do it around the teachers.

Blushing, Jack paused. “I brought you something.” He pulled out a notebook and a pen. Jeanne’s eyes filled with irritation.

“What would I need that for?”

“I don’t know, it’s just nice to have, I guess.” Jack shrugged, looking embarrassed. I felt sorry for him. My sister could be really rude if she didn’t like something.

“Well if it’s so important, keep it then. I don’t need a stupid notebook. Don’t you know what to buy a girl?” Jeanne let a threatening edge creep into her voice.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was barely audible; he clearly hadn’t expected her to act this way. He cast his eyes down to the floor, looking ashamed. “I think I’ll go now.” He stood up and began to move to exit the door. My sister didn’t say a word; she just glared at him as he reached for the doorknob.

Caught up in the drama, I didn’t consider the repercussions of getting caught listening into their conversation. I stood there gaping, watching to see if Jack would turn around and say something to Jeanne. I was also curious to know if he would break up with her because of how she treated him.

The door suddenly slammed open and I jumped, startled. I tried to scramble away, but Jack had already seen me. There was sorrow in his gaze when he said, “I wish I was a better boyfriend and had the ability to make Jeanne happy.”

“It isn’t your fault.” I choked the words out. He looked at me startled.

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe if you stay with her for long enough, you’ll realize that her love is superficial and shifts easily. She only cares about herself and only has room for boys who make her feel even better than she is.”

He swallowed. “I need to talk to Brianna.” He rushed out of the house.

Staring intently at Jeanne’s open door, I waited for her to emerge. “I heard what you said.” Her voice was a whisper.

“And I heard what you said.” I countered.

“I know.” Jeanne’s voice broke and she started to cry in self-pity.

I looked at her coldly. “I’d feel bad for you if I didn’t know that you were crying only because you sympathize with yourself.”

“I’m sorry you saw that, Mya.”

“You should be sorry for how you treated Jack. You upset him enough that he’s going to talk to Brianna.” I informed her.

Jeanne’s eyes widened. “This can’t be good. He used to like her.” She started muttering rapidly to herself, realizing that this was a huge problem.

“Jeanne, you have seven other boyfriends. What makes Jack so special?” I searched her gaze. “Maybe you should just let Brianna have a chance. Maybe she’ll treat him better.”

Rage erupted from Jeanne’s face. “The difference between Jack and my other boyfriends is that I actually like him. We need to go after him!”

What did she mean when she said “we”? Was she actually going to include me in her personal life for once?

“Do you want me to come with you?” Curiosity kindled inside of me.

“Yes,” She sighed. Excited, I followed her and she led me into the garage. We pulled out our bikes and helmets and got set up. Pushing up my kickstand, I hopped onto my dazzling sky blue bike and rode after my sister. “If you’re right,” She called over her shoulder. “Jack is most likely headed to Brianna’s house.”

Something felt wrong, though. What if Jack and Brianna really were meant to be together? Jeanne could afford to lose one boyfriend, couldn’t she? I shook the thought away. If I screw this up, Jeanne will be furious. This is my one opportunity to bond with my sister and I need to take it. I pedaled harder, gaining ground on my sister. It was freezing outside, late January, and in our rush we hadn’t stopped to put jackets on. I shivered; the frigid wind sliced avidly through my skin as I accelerated. Above us, a looming storm hovered ominously, its dark gray clouds swirling in anticipation. This didn’t matter to Jeanne. The only thing that was on her agenda was salvaging her relationship with her eighth boyfriend.

She looked back at me, her face chapped from the dry, yet malevolently icy temperatures. “There it is! Up ahead, the gray house.” As she headed toward the house, I obediently followed. We began to slow as we reached our destination and I noticed how numb my hands felt. As we hopped off of our bikes, dread churned in my stomach.

I looked at Jeanne desperately. “How do we know that he’s not already here? How do we know that Brianna is even home?” She narrowed her eyes at me. “It’s just going to have to work out, okay?” I wasn’t convinced, but I decided reluctantly to follow her lead.

Out of the blue, I saw a dark-haired boy running at full sprint toward us. I uttered a sound of petrified alarm. My sister didn’t need my warning, though. She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bushes. Miraculously, the boy didn’t notice.

“Is that Jack?” I couldn’t quite see. I could just make out the boy’s lithe shape moving to ring Brianna’s doorbell.

“Yes, be quiet.” Jeanne told me, worried that Jack might catch us. I wonder if he already knows that we’re here. We didn’t hide our bikes.

“Brianna!” Jack’s sudden exclamation jolted me out of my thoughts.

“Jack?” She sounded surprised.

I felt my sister tense beside me. After a moment, she wasn’t there anymore. She is about to do the unthinkable!

“Jack!” Jeanne called desperately.

“Oh, hi Jeanne,” He sounded casual. “What do you want?”

“First of all, I’m your girlfriend, so you shouldn’t be cheating on me.” I winced. This wasn’t a good way to start a conversation. Jeanne’s voice miraculously softened. “More importantly, I’m sorry. I should never have taken you for granted.”

“I’m not sure why you bother, Jeanne. You still have Adam, Ryan, John, Daniel, Jake, Erik, and AJ. Why do you need me?” Jack’s voice was edged with bitterness and outlined with sarcasm.

I stepped out of the bushes, hoping that I didn’t mess anything up. “She really likes you, Jack. She didn’t rush down here on her bike without a jacket for nothing. You mean a lot to her. She told me so.” I swallowed, praying that he would take what I said the right way.

He returned my pleading gaze solemnly. “I want to be with someone who respects me and cares about how I feel. I want to be with Brianna.”

“Um, did anyone ask me how I felt about this?” Brianna shifted awkwardly. “I used to have feelings for you Jack, but you’re with Jeanne now. You rejected me once and that hurt enough. I’m sorry, okay?” She closed the door softly, clearly conflicted about her decision. Distraught, Jack stepped backwards a few paces and turned to leave. Jeanne watched helplessly as he left with his head down.

“I’m sorry, Jeanne. It’s my fault. If I had been more convincing, maybe I could have -” I was cut off abruptly. “No. It isn’t your fault at all.” Her eyes glowed with appreciation. “Thank you for coming with me. Thank you for being a wonderful sister.” Her words astounded me, but I took them earnestly.

“I guess it took me one boyfriend to realize that I had something much more important near me the whole time.” She smiled sincerely at me. “From now on, we can count on each other for anything. I love you, Mya.”

My heart cried out in jubilation. “I love you too.”

Feeling warm inside from my new bond with my sister, I couldn’t even notice the cold anymore. Filled with new energy, we got back on our bikes and rode home.

As I look back upon that memory, it becomes apparent to me that there was truly nothing to be jealous about when it came to Jeanne. She had her own set of problems, but she was starting to become a reliable, loving sister. It sincerely stunned me that her callous stone wall had a gaping hole in it, but it was all that was needed to let me into her life. Through that hole, I gained access to her heart. I guess she was right. Some locks are easier to crack than you think.