Some Mate You Are...

There was a terrible knot in my stomach. My head told me that I had made the right decision. Yet my heart was screaming at me to fix what I had done. As much as it pained me and as nervous as it made me, I was determined to stick with my head on this one.

I was sitting in my room, pacing the floor, watching the minutes tick by. I was waiting for Aida, as she made her way upstairs. I needed her support right now more than ever. Beyond that, I needed a distraction. I did not know how I was going to keep from going insane over the remainder of this twenty-four hours. I prayed that Enzo would finally come to his senses, but I could not help the nagging feeling that told me that Enzo being Enzo meant that nothing good could come from this.

My door began to open, and I jumped with a start. My heart sped up as I could not help my mind from wondering if it was Enzo. If he had already made his decision. But I breathed a sigh of relief as Aida’s head poked into the doorframe.

“Hey, hun, how you doing?” She asked, sweetly.

I wanted to tell her that I was fine. I wanted to appear strong. I wanted to pretend that I could handle whatever choice Enzo would make. But I could not do that.

“I am freaking out!” I admitted. “I’m a total mess. This is it. Whatever happens now. For good or for bad. That is the final decision.”

Aida sat down on my bed with a sigh and patted the spot next to her.

“Come sit down for a second, Marvel. You’re going to wear a path in your floor at this rate.” She teased, trying to lighten the mood.

I plopped down on the mattress, sitting next to her. I dropped my head into my hands, fighting back the urge to break down in tears. I did not want to cry over this, not yet at least.

“It’s going to be okay.” Aida offered, rubbing my back in a soothing manner. “You know that he isn’t going to choose to reject the mating.”

“But what if he does?” I demanded, exasperated. “What if I pushed him too far this time? What if he cannot handle me placing this kind of pressure on him? What if he just gives up because it’s easier for him?”

Aida paused for a moment, considering. Then she answered me with a look of determination plastered across her face.

“I do not believe that it will come to that. I think that we both know how Enzo really feels about you.”

I was about to protest, but Aida did not give me the chance. She continued her speech, cutting me off before I could utter a sound.

“However, if by some crazy chance, Enzo does decide to end things. Then isn’t it kind of better this way? If he gives in so easily. If he really cannot handle the pressure or wants to keep things easy for himself, is that really the mate that you want? Is that really the life that you want for yourself? I think that you made the right decision here, Marvel. No matter how this turns out, you did what needed to be done. You stood up for yourself and for your heart. You don’t deserve to be jerked around, never knowing where you truly stand with him. If he wants to be your mate, as he should, then he needs to be a wolf and step-up. If he can’t, then you are better off.”

I listened to her words and mulled them over in my mind. I knew that she was right. I could never be happy if I allowed Enzo to continue going back and forth with his uncertainty. It would not be fair to me. But that did nothing to release the knot in my stomach.

“Come on…” Aida encouraged, standing up and extending her hand out to me. “Let’s go for a run. Afterwards, we can get some food and then we’ll head over to the Wolf’s Den. You could use a little fun tonight.”

“You’re right.” I sighed, pushing myself off the bed to join her. “I need to keep myself busy. Sitting in this room, just isn’t going to cut it. Plus, my wolf needs to get out, I’ve been feeling the urge to shift since I confronted Enzo.”

I grabbed her hand, and we left my room. Swinging our arms as we walked like we used to do when we were young. Before life had become so complicated.

Releasing my wolf and running through the forest behind the pack house had been a great release of my anxiety. While I still feared what was to come, I could not deny that I felt better having the dirt beneath my paws. My wolf had needed to be released even more than I had realized. I ran and ran until my limbs hurt; poor Aida doing her best to keep up with me as I went. She finally convinced me to go home before we pushed too hard and hurt ourselves. I gave in, even if it was a bit reluctantly.

Afterwards, we had gone to the kitchen to grab ourselves a quick bite to eat. However, my mother was there, and she insisted on us allowing her to cook us a proper meal. I did not mind the food; my mother is a great cook. It was more that I was not really wanting to spend too much time in the company of either of my parents at the moment. I did not believe that they had overheard my conversation with Enzo in the hallway. But I did not want to have to discuss it if they had caught wind.

I was sure that my parents would support my decision, just as Aida had. I just did not want to have to explain my choice. I did not want to have to discuss the consequences. I had dwelled on those all day and having to talk it over with my mother was not something that I was prepared to do right now. I knew how upset that she would be. I was all too aware that they did not approve of how Enzo had been treating me thus far. I did not want to make anything worse than it already was.

Once our late lunch was finished, I was happy to escape the kitchen as I rushed to my room to shower. I dressed quickly. Just a simple outfit, some well-fitted jeans and a black top that hung just off my shoulders and only teased with the tiniest bit of cleavage. I did not feel right to wear my usual bar clothes. I was waiting on my mate after all.