She’s the Alpha

I couldn't move. I felt the tears spill down my cheeks but I couldn't bring myself to wipe them. My hands trembled so violently that the letter fell out of my hands. Two thoughts kept running through my head on a loop: my pack wasn't destroyed, and Kai killed Jessie. My chest was so tight, I couldn't take a proper breath. The pain was too much. I clutched my chest as my knees gave way. A strangled noise left my lips as I squeezed my eyes shut.

No. It couldn't be true.

My breathing was too quick and pained, but I couldn't stop. I wailed as my shirt was bunched in my hand where my heart was. I couldn't fully process what I was feeling; hurt, betrayed, cheated, destroyed, alone. The most overwhelming feeling was betrayal. Kai was the one who ordered Jessie to be killed, yet he acted like the victim and pretended he knew nothing about it. He waited until I was on my way to him before he helped my pack. The door swung open as Kai rushed into the room and held me by my shoulders.

"Stella! What's wrong? What happened? I felt-" he stopped when his eyes landed on the note.

"Where did you get that?" He asked hesitantly. I was too broken to fight him or argue with him. I was too shocked to even move. I stared at him blankly as tears ran down my face. Kai picked up the note and read it before he set it aside.

"It's not what you think, Stella," he started. I knew whatever came out of his mouth next would be a lie or an excuse. What really happened on that day was written there in black and white. I pulled myself together enough to push his hands off of me.

"I hate you," I breathed quietly. Those were the only words I could get out. It was the only thing I could say without screaming. I stood on wobbly knees and used walls and tables to lean on as I walked out of the room.

"Stella, wait," he said as he grabbed my arm. I turned quickly and slapped him as hard as I could manage.

"Stay away from me," I said lowly before I continued down the hall to my room. I locked the door behind before before I sunk back to the floor. I couldn't stop crying. Kai did all of that just to get me here and accept being his mate. It made me hate him. I didn't care that he was my mate. We could both go feral for all I cared. At the moment, living didn't make sense anyway. Jessie was dead because of me. My parents willingly conspired to hand me off to Kai. I cried until I passed out of the floor from exhaustion. It was too much.

***

When I woke up again, I was still on the floor. The note and Kai's involvement came rushing back to me, making my chest ache again. I groaned as the pain in my chest became too much. A knock sounded on my door.

"Stella. Please open the door," Kai begged. He was the last person I wanted to talk to at the moment. "Stella, let me explain," he tried again. I moved to my bed, not even bothering to answer him.

I laid there for days, only getting up to use the bathroom. I deserved to die for letting Jessie die then running into his killer's arms. I regretted everything. I regretted picking Jessie as my chosen mate. I regretted getting separated from him during the battle. I regretted coming to Kai. I regretted all the choices I'd made up until this point. I took my phone out and booked two flights for Virginia. I didn't care if my parents made me a rogue, anything was better than being here. Micah needed to go back anyway. I slowly packed my bag before I opened the door to head to Micah's room to do the same. I stopped when I saw Kai sitting outside my door. When he saw me, he stood quickly and came closer to me.

"You haven't eaten anything in days," he said worried as his hand touched my cheek. I pushed his hand away before staring at him blankly.

"I booked a flight home. I'm just going to get Micah's things," I said weakly.

"You can't leave," he said quickly.

"Why? Are you going to kill someone else if I do?" I snapped back at him. He was quiet as he stared at his feet. After a moment, he scoffed and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Do you honestly think you're innocent in all of this? You were the one who coldly rejected me first. You were the one who had to be an Alpha no matter what. Alpha Phillips attacked because he wanted to. I merely took advantage of the situation to get rid of all of your excuses. Your father actually agreed with me. He said it was his fault for spoiling you too much and putting those thoughts in your head in the first place. You were never going to be an Alpha, our kind don't work that way. You can be as strong as you want, but your mate would've eventually come along, even if it wasn't me. I thought if I tried to be nice and patient, you would eventually be the Luna, like you were destined to be. I see now, that nothing I do will make a difference. Yeah, I ordered my warriors to kill Jessie if they saw an opportunity, but any other mate in my position would have done the same. I don’t even remember giving the order to be honest. It's not like I died, you just didn't want me. That hurt my wolf and my pride. Ask any wolf, and they would've done it too if they had the chance. What's done is done," he said. I could only stare at him in shock. I couldn't figure out if I finally made Kai snap, or he was always like this and I was just seeing it for the first time.

"You're fucking heartless," I said in a whisper. He smirked slightly before meeting my eyes. His were cold and bottomless.

"Well, I guess the shoe is on the other foot now," he said before grabbing my arm and dragging me down the stairs. I tried to pull out of his grasp but I was too weak. He sat me down at the table before setting a plate of food in front of me.

"Eat something. I can't have you dying on me after everything I did to get you here. You wouldn't want Jessie's death to be completely meaningless, would you?" He said as he sat across from me. I felt my hot tears trickle down my cheeks silently as my shaky hands picked up the sandwich.