Shaun Phillips and The Hat of All Hats

The only stop we make on the way home is to pick up Katie at the babysitter’s house.

“Hi Mommy, Hi Daddy, Hi Shaun.” Katie says as she gets into the car. “Usually it’s just one of you picking me up.”

“Well today you’ve got us all.” Dad says. “How was your day Pumpkin?”

“It was so much fun! We got to wear smocks in Kindergarten and paint on the big easels. Then we did numbers and I knew them all! Then at daycare we played outside on the swing set and then I played in the sandbox where I saw a butterfly and then we went inside and played with blocks.”

Sometimes I get really annoyed at Katie when she goes on and on but Mom and Dad haven’t said a word to me since we left the school, so it’s kind of nice to break the silence.

We arrive at our house and Mom and Dad still aren’t saying anything to me. The longer this silence goes on, the more I worry what my punishment here at home is going to be.

Dad goes into the living room and turns on the television. He sits down on the couch and Katie joins him. Mom walks into the kitchen and gets out a pan to start cooking dinner. It’s like nothing happened.

Maybe I won’t be punished!

No, who am I kidding? Mom and Dad must be up to something but I don’t want to stick around to find out. I quietly make my way up the stairs toward my room.

“Oh no!” Dad shouts. “No, no, no! This isn’t good! Shaun!”

I run back down to the living room and Mom runs in too. There we find Dad and Katie staring at the television.

“Our school is on TV!” Katie screams.

“Good afternoon.” A man on the TV says. “Thank you for joining us. I’m Fred Baker and this is the news. First up, it was a scary afternoon for many students at Birch Wood Elementary School. Let’s turn to Tori Hunter who is live on the scene with this story.”

“Hello Fred.” Tori says. “I am standing outside Birch Wood Elementary School. Though things look calm now, this was not the case just a few hours ago. The details are still coming in and being vetted but this is what we know so far. At around 1:00 PM an incident occurred here at the school and the entire student body was ushered into the gymnasium. Emergency crews responded and the school was put on lockdown, which has since been lifted. I was told that school did let out at the normal time and the bus schedule was unaffected, though many worried parents opted to pick their children up here. ”

Mom and Dad stare at the television in shock; their jaws dropped. Should I offer to pick them up? No, that probably wouldn’t go over too well!

“There have been reports of a pipe bursting, though not confirmed and some witnesses claim to have heard glass breaking before the alarms went off.” Tori Hunter reports. “Earlier I had a chance to speak with the head of police Sargent William Monahan who said that there didn’t appear to be any damage to the school or signs of an outside threat. He also mentioned that they were looking into the possibility of this being a mishap with a student’s science project.”

First of all wrong subject, lady! Secondly, there was no mishap, everything worked just fine!

“So far, Principal Richard Braxton has not been available for comment; nor has he released a statement. This is Tori Hunter with Channel 7 News. Now back to you in the studio.”

“Okay thank you.” Fred says. “We’re going to take a quick break and when we come back we’re going to learn about a new technology that helps prevent injuries on the football field. Our sports reporter, Ethan Michaels has the story. Thank you for staying with Channel 7.”

Dad turns off the television. My entire family gives me an evil stare.

“You’ve really done it now!” Mom snaps. “I’ve got to get the pan off the stove before it burns but we’ll discuss this over dinner! Everyone go wash up!”

Mom is angrier than she has ever been. Should I go hide? Or maybe I should just pack a bag and go stay at Walter’s house for a while.

Nah, that’s an awful lot of work and I am way too hungry right now. Instead I go wash up and sit down at the table; knowing my punishment will come at any moment.

Yum; rice and beans, I scoop myself a big plate.

“Shaun your father and I are very disappointed in you!” Mom starts in.

Oh boy. Here we go.

“Really, Mom, Dad, I can explain.”

“I don’t want to hear it Shaun!” Dad says. “We made it very clear that your hat was to stay at home! Not only did you disobey your mother and me, you caused a frightening scene at school! So many kids could have been hurt! On top of that, your little adventure made the evening news!”

“But…” I start to say in my defense.

“Shaun you are grounded for the next three weeks!”

“That’s not fair!” I shout on the verge of tears. “I made Social Studies class awesome! The 4th graders had more fun today than they’ve had in weeks! You can’t punish me for that! Besides, you and Mom have used the hat too!”

“Watch your tone with me young man!” Dad says, pointing a finger in my direction. “Or I’ll add another week to this!”

“It’s not fair!” I whine, standing up and kicking my chair aside.

I leave the table and run upstairs to my room. I slam the door and plop on my bed, burying my head in the pillow. It’s just not fair!