Shattered Hearts A MFM Love Story

~ ~ Jackson ~ ~

An unforgiving ray of light beat down on my eyelids as I woke up with a scowl until I felt the sweet weight of a warm body tucked into my body, and an arm draped across my chest and blonde hair tickling my chin.

It had been a hell-of-a long time since I’d woken up with a woman in my bed... Well, technically, it wasn’t my bed.

But this wasn’t just any woman. No. This was Maddy, Maddy Lockwood.

Listening to her soft, even breaths, it kindled something deep inside me. Every instinct told me to do whatever it took to keep her here with me—never let her go.

Taking a deep breath, I inhaled as much as I could get of her sweetness inside my lungs. Her smell was a heady mixture of everything good, from honeysuckle and rain to fresh hay and apple pie, but nothing you could pinpoint or identify... It’s just Maddy.

It brought with it a smile, albeit one tinged with a tightness that expanded in my chest as the night before replayed in my head. I gave her a gentle squeeze. Shit. My ears pricked and my heart almost stopped before starting again as Maddy mumbled then moaned softly in her sleep, and shifted, hooking her leg over mine and her small hand crept up my chest as her head tilted up with her cute nose now nuzzling my throat.

Christ, I dreamt of this.

I gulped as the warmth of her thigh was now dangerously close to my morning wood. Which I had no control over.

It twitched, letting me know it was wide awake.

Not that I needed reminding.

And trust me, I tried to ignore the wave of awareness that swept across my skin, but the truth was I’d been hard since I turned around in the kitchen to find her standing there, smiling shyly. And now it was flat-out refusing to go away. The damn thing had a mind of its own. But in its defence, it hadn’t had the pleasure of a woman for months, although it had seen a fair amount of hand action.

Forcing a deep, measured breath, Maddy mumbled again but softened against me.

I wished something else would soften as I slipped a hand down to try and adjust my underwear.

Muttering under my breath, I turned my head, catching the clock. It was coming up to six. Although I needed to take my medication, I was in no rush to move and hoped she wouldn’t wake up soon, especially after her disturbed night’s sleep.

The night before, Maddy had turned in just after ten and me and Logan had stayed up talking, or rather him grilling me on why I’d come back home. We had one beer each, but it sat uneasily in my stomach, knowing I was hiding the truth from him.

He eventually gave up, heading to bed, and I made my way up shortly after him. Sleep was slow to come with so much on my mind, but finally, my tiredness won out. Although it was brief as shortly after two, something ripped from my fitful sleep.

I heard it—

A deafening noise tore through the inky blackness.

What the? Half asleep, I almost fell from my bed.

Blinking, surrounded by darkness, my scrambled thoughts didn’t register what was going on.

Dragging my hand through my hair, I lifted my head from the pillow as heavy footsteps stepped on the yawning timber flooring outside my bedroom door.

Logan?

A shrill cry had my heart triple-pounding. Maddy. I jackknifed out of bed, hitting the bedside light to stumble back with the brightness and a wave of dizziness.

Shit. No. No. No. Don’t do this to me now. I swayed, gripping my head. Giving it a second it passed as I sucked in much-needed air.

Steadying myself, I looked around my room as thoughts ran riot. Had someone broken into the house?

Cooper Stanton. My mind instantly went to her shit-head of a husband.

Surely he wouldn’t be stupid enough to come here? How would he know she was here, anyway? But if he knew and was that stupid, then he’d better pray to his god because there would be no mercy from me.

My clothes sat in a crumpled heap on the floor. I scooped my briefs, dragging them on, trying to force an unruly hard-on to behave. Outside my room, I looked down the darkened hallway, lit up somewhat from the light in my room. From where I stood, a huge figure loomed outside Maddy’s door. I recognised Logan’s frame, Closer, like me he was barefoot and wearing next to nothing but at least, like me, he’d dragged on some shorts which I was thankful for as witnessing my brother naked in the middle of the night wasn’t on my list of things to do especially since he was suffering the same problem as me with the apparent tenting in his shorts.

Logan’s hand was on the doorknob, gripping it tightly, but didn’t move to open the door. “You heard it too?” he whispered.

“Ah-huh,” I said, not able to see his expression. He shifted closer, dropping his hand from the handle, and pressed his ear against the door.

I hadn’t been torn from my bed to wait outside Maddy’s room all night. “What you goddamn well waiting for?” I went to reach for the handle, but he swatted my hand away. “You fixin’ to go in or what?”

“Hold your darn horses!” he snarled before whispering, “I didn’t want to barge on in. It might frighten her... make it worse.”

Logan was always the thinker between the two of us. I was all about action.

His head pulled back and another shrill cry came from inside the room.

I was done. “Shift!” Trying to barge him out of the way. “You can stand here all night, but I ain’t waiting.” Logan didn’t budge but did fling the door open.

Two steps inside, cool air rushed over me from the open window. My gut coiled and my spine tensed. It was abundantly clear Maddy was in the grip of a night terror.

The moonlight moved like a thief across the room as the drapes fluttered in the breeze. My eyes moved over the bed, not able to see her face clearly, as her head thrashed from side to side.

Logan darted off to the small adjoining bathroom, flipping on the light. I squinted as he pulled the door, almost closing it, but still allowing us some light to seep into the room but not enough to startle Maddy if she woke.

Speaking in a low tone, Logan asked, “What the fuck should we do?” A frown dug its way between his eyebrows as he came closer to me.

I shrugged, not entirely sure what to do for the best. “Try waking her?” I batted back in a hushed tone.

We both stiffened as another tortured cry had us both moving toward the bed at speed, one on either side. Logan climbed on and gently laid his hand on her forehead before softly brushing his knuckle over her cheekbone.

I reached for her hand, dropping to my knees at the side of the bed.

“Maddy...” We both spoke her name at the same time.

Nothing.

I looked up at Logan and he nodded. “Maddy, sweetheart?”

I jerked back as her eyes opened and she shot up straight, frantically kicking the covers from the bottom half of her legs, yelping as if she wasn’t free from the nightmare.

Logan pressed a hand to her shoulder, speaking in a soft, easy tone, but she shied away from his touch. As he pulled back, our eyes met over the top of her head as Mandy twisted and flung her legs over the side of the bed, eyes darting around as if she didn’t know where she was.

Then she stilled, and everything was quiet.

Sure the worst was over, I edged closer. “Maddy.” The worst was far from over as her hand shot up, clasping at her chest as if she couldn’t breathe.

And it took me all of a few ticks of the clock to know what it was.

She was now in the throes of a full-blown panic attack.

I’d witnessed a couple of the guys who suffered trauma in my unit. Then saw a whole lot more of them when I ended up in the infirmary. Just like those men, it wasn’t pretty to watch and even harder when you cared for the person going through one.

I heard Logan mutter, but I didn’t shift my focus from Maddy. Her sharp, strained breaths were erratic and heavy and I knew a panic attack came about when the brain kept sending messages of fear to the upper part of the brain. Thoughts become so scattered that normal functioning was possible.

I’d been told that a firm but careful approach could have a powerful healing effect during these times, and why a calming presence could be almost medicinal, more powerful than medication and words like ‘I am right here, and you’re safe and protected,’ slowed those messages of panic. It gave the higher brain a chance to become focused and functional once more, putting the person back in the driver’s seat of their own mind.

“Maddy, sweetheart. We’re here.”

Logan turned to switch on the bedside lamp, flooding the cool room with a subtle light. Maddy’s eyes were wide and as wild as any stormy night. Shuffling closer, I cupped her face with my hands. “Look at me Maddy, you’re safe.” Fear now dominated her eyes as they filled with tears, trying to look anywhere but at me. “I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you... and neither is Logan. We’re both here, sweetheart.”

She blinked rapidly, her chest still rising and falling so goddamn fast, but as she blinked again, her eyes found mine. “I see you, Princess. Come back to us.”

My gaze flicked up to Logan, his identical eyes to mine were fraught with worry, jaw tighter than a drum.

Looking back at my girl. Well, technically not mine...yet. I sucked in a breath. “There you are...” Her eyes became more focused and her hand reached out and gripped my forearm. I took her hand in mine and pressed it to my chest, resting over my heart. Her fingers spread out. “Feel my heartbeat.” I tried to slow it down, along with my breathing to calm hers.

A lifetime seemed to pass before the panic loosened its claws on her. “Jackson?...” she rasped.

A weight lifted off my chest. “Yeah, it’s me, Princess. It’s okay, you’re safe. No one can hurt you,” I spoke softly but reassuringly as my eyes took a mental note of the rest of her, trying to ignore the fact that all she had on was a tiny vest and those boy-shorts girls seemed to favour. She was a wet dream walking, and I had to bite back a rough male growl of hunger.

Not the time asshole.

She looked thinner. Her prominent collarbone showed exactly how much weight she’d lost since I last saw her, and my jaw clenched hard when the bruising to her upper arms became as clear as the nose of my face.

Fury threatened to engulf me. My jaw went tick. That bastard would pay for what he’d done.

The rise and fall of her chest slowed as I tipped my head up. “Get some water, Logan.” He nodded off the bed, heading out of the room, returning shortly. “Here, Princess.” He gently pressed the glass to her lips and Maddy sipped.

“That’s a good girl, just a little more for us.” Taking another sip, I smiled and Logan released a relieved breath.

Still quiet, her eyelids started to droop, and her hand dropped from my chest. She was exhausted.

“Lie down for me, sweetheart.” Logan put the glass of water on the side table and helped lift her legs as I used to bed to lever myself up.

She didn’t fight us, lying down, shifting onto her side as I straightened the bedcovers. Silently communicating with a flick of my head, Logan nodded, understanding me as he walked around the bed.

“C’mere, sweetheart.” The mattress dipped under mine and Logan’s weight and he got onto the bed behind her and I lay down beside her, facing her. “We’re gonna stay here with you until you fall asleep, okay?”

She didn’t argue or say another word as I swiped a lock of hair from her damp forehead. “You’re safe now. Try to sleep. We won’t leave you.”

She tried to keep her eyes open but finally lost the battle.

“Should we stay?” whispered Logan a few minutes later, his voice sounding tired.

“Yeah.” I wasn’t leaving her, and if I had my way, I’d be in her bed every night from now on. No doubt the same thoughts were going through my brother’s head.

“How did you know to help her like that?” asked Logan, genuinely curious.

“Seen more panic attacks than I care to think on.”

He said nothing else. Twisting his torso, he reached up for the light, flipping the switch to sink us into darkness.

Maddy shifted again, dragging back to the present. This time, she didn’t relax. Her posture went rigid.

“You awake there, Princess?”

She was slow to answer, more likely trying to figure out what she should do. Maddy had a tendency to run away at the first opportunity. I remembered I was practically naked under the covers. I’m sure being plastered to me, she realised it too.

Maddy wriggled, and I reluctantly shifted my arm as she pushed herself up, rubbing her face, framed by messy hair.

My body tensed. “How are you feeling?” And the warmth that had flowed between us cooled.

Her eyes lifted to mine. Surprise, worry and a whole lot of awkwardness greeted me.

Holding up my hands. “Hey, hey. You don’t need to be worried, Princess.” This required some reassurance. “I swear I was the perfect gentleman.” Pity I couldn’t say the same about my thoughts.

Her voice hitched. “It wasn’t a dream.” She shook her head, shifting further back, and my eyes dipped to her erect nipples.

Biting back a groan and a curse, I knew I should be a gentleman, but c’mon, I was a man.

Maddy followed my gaze, her baby blues widening. “Jackson!” she squealed and snatched the bedsheet to cover herself. Her jaw dropped when she noticed my morning wood peeking out from the top of my briefs and a reel of dirty images ran through my mind. Mainly of me lying her down and sucking on those sweet little temptations first.

She let out another squeal, her eyebrows shooting through the roof as she scrambled further back, flinging the sheet back in my direction, and her hands flew over her eyes. “OHMYGOD, Jackson! I just saw—”

She didn’t finish the sentence, and I chuckled. “It’s safe to look, Princess.”

Slowly, her hands dropped and tension spread across her narrow shoulders. “Can you close your eyes whilst I make myself half decent?”

“Princess, that sweet little body of yours has been wrapped around me for most of the night. You don’t need to hide yourself.”

A fierce blush drove across her cheeks. “I’m so sorry ’bout last night,” she said, her arms twining in front of her.

I averted my eyes and pushed myself to sit up, pressing my back against the wooden bed frame. “You got nothin’ to be sorry for.”

Her head and body twisted around. “Where’s Logan? He was here, right?” Her panic set my teeth on edge. “Did you both stay? All night?” she asked in a strangled tone.

We couldn’t both stay in bed with her. The ranch didn’t take days off. “Yeah, but as dawn called out, we played for who would get to stay with you, here in this warm and comfy bed.” I cracked a grin.

Maddy’s eyebrows furrowed, huffing a laugh. “I reckon you’re enjoying all this a little too much, Jackson Reilly.”

“Maybe.” Shrugging. “Just a little.” A lot.

She blinked as if remembering something. “—Played for it?” she cocked her head to the side.

“Yep. Rock, paper, Scissors.”

“Oh,” she whispered, and I could pretty much hear her mind working overtime.

Wiggling my eyebrows. “I won,” I said with a smirk. Honestly, it was better than winning the lottery.

"“I’m sor—”

My smirk vanished. “—Not your fault.” Cutting her off before she could apologise again.

Her tummy took the moment to claim centre stage, growling like a half-starved dog. “Damn. I think your belly thinks its throat been cut!”

A small smile played across her lips as she pressed a hand to her tummy. “Yeah, seems that way...but...”

“But what, Princess?”

“I need the bathroom first.”

“And don’t let me stop you.”

She pouted good-naturedly. “What? You just gonna sit there?”

“Yea... and?” I didn’t see a problem.

“Well, stop it!” she insisted, but another tiny smile lit up her face, giving those baby blues a warm glow. And it became my instant mission to make that happen again. Happen more.

“How’s about this? I close my eyes and you can hop off the bed and go do your business?”

She smiled one of those gut-punching smiles. “Thank you, Jackson” she moved to the edge of the bed. “I appreciate it.”

Grinning like an idiot. “Anytime.” I lifted my hand, covering my face. The bed shifted and her small bare feet padded on the wooden floor. “Did I mention I’m a big fan of pint tank tops?” I chuckled.

She huffed, but I swore I heard a smile in there too. And when I thought it was safe, I peeked through my fingers to see the sway of her tight ass in the cute boy shorts and her long lean legs vanish into the bathroom.

As the click of the bathroom door sounded, I got myself up, my erection winking at me as I adjusted my briefs, again, attempting to shove him back inside. “You need to settle down.” I wasn’t sure why I was bothering. It liked her tits and ass in those clothes and I couldn’t argue with its good taste.

Half an hour later, I’d showered and dressed and was knocking on her door, but not bothering to wait, I headed on in. Christ. She was wearing just a towel and fuck me, did she look gorgeous.

The way her soft skin was slightly pink from the heat of the shower. Lust seized my breath. My blood heated in my veins, making my skin tight and uncomfortable. It took everything I had not to grab her, hold her, kiss her, to remind her how we could be close if she’d let me in.

Trust me.

Trying to sideline my lust, I remembered my good manners. “C’mon, I’m gonna cook up some breakfast for us both.”

“Sounds perfect.” Her answer was a little distant as she bit her lip. “I just need to find something to wear.” She walked toward one of the two suitcases that Riley Jo had dropped off yesterday. One was open. “I’m hoping there’s more than just shorts and vests in the other one.”

I hoped it was filled with all kinds of sexy things. Going to turn around. “Sure, I’ll get the coffee started.” Shit. How did she like her coffee?

“Mine with cream, if you have some.”

She read my thoughts. Oh, I have cream, sweetheart.

Damn it. Down boy! “I can manage that.” Swallowing hard, I forced myself to head downstairs with my dick still testing the strength of my zipper. It was gonna be a long day.