Shattered Hearts A MFM Love Story

~ ~ Logan ~ ~

My phone vibrated...for the tenth time. Yanking on the reins, I slowed my horse, Timber, then lifted my hat to wipe the back of my hand across my forehead before setting back in place. I was already in a foul mood today. Cows I could handle. Vandals I couldn’t.

Eleventh time.

What the hell was so important?

Frustrated, I lifted my butt from the saddle whilst reaching around to my back pocket to pull out my phone.

Jackson. Eleven messages.

My face morphed into a scowl. I was pissed at him for upsetting Maddy. And this morning I’d told him to sort his shit out.

I swiped the message.

Jackson: Quit ignoring me. Asshole.

Oh, I’m the asshole? Grumbling, I wouldn’t dignify that with a response because I wasn’t interested in anything he had to say until he’d fixed it. And out of the two of us, Jackson was the one who ran away from his problems and avoided fixing them. I was still waiting on him to tell me why he’d quit the military. But so far, he’d been tight-lipped.

My phone buzzed, again.

Jackson: We just had a visitor. Guess who?

Ugh. I hated cryptic messages.

Me: How about we cut through the crap? I’m busy. Spit it out.

Jackson: So you are alive!?

Jackson: And what crawled up your ass?

Jackson: The one who shalt not be named.

There was only one person we’d jokingly assigned that moniker to.

Me: Mercy Jane?

Jackson: Ding. Ding. We have a winner.

Goddammit. The woman was toxic. A walking, talking, biohazard.

Me: Is Maddy ok?

My eyes travelled over yonder to the guys working on fixing the fence. I was in the middle of rounding up cows. But if Maddy needed me, then I’d hand this over to Hank, my Ranch Manager to oversee. Very few things took priority over Ranch business.

Maddy was one of them. Probably the only one.

Jackson: Nah, we’re good. Took out the trash and our girl made us proud.

Our girl and I smiled, hoping that meant she’d told her mama to do a running jump.

Jackson: Maddy wants to talk to us both, together. Something important. When you heading in?

Me: As soon as fencing is secured. Another hour, maybe.

Jackson: K. Be quick because we have a date tonight.

A date?

Jackson: With Maddy. In case you haven’t figured it out yet.

Jackson: Because we both know you’re a little slow.

Asshole.

Jackson: I heard that.

I smirked. But a date. With Maddy. Now that was something to get excited about.

Shoving the phone back into my jeans pocket, I rode over to a couple of my regular ranch hands. Hardworking cowboys, but that didn’t mean I didn’t come down hard on them from time to time.

“How’s ‘bout we quit all the talkin’ and get this shit done? Because I have somewhere I need to be.”

Hank rode up alongside me. “You head back. I’m good finishing up here.”

“You sure?”

“Go on. Get. See you in the morning.”

Tipping my hat. Hank didn’t need to offer twice. By the time I’d got back and settled Timber, the sun was lower in the sky. Washing up, I found Maddy and Jackson sat at the table talking about racing horses with Maddy snacking on something. It looked far too healthy for my taste, but I was happy to see her eating.

She smiled up at me. “Can I get you anythin’ Logan?” She held up the stick of something green with a red sauce on the end. Celery?

“Just gonna grab myself a coffee, Princess. You stay right where you are.” Filling my mug, I groaned out loud when it hit my tongue. Damn, I needed that.

Satisfied, I walked to join them. I was happier to see some colour back in Maddy’s cheeks and the dark circles under her eyes looked less threatening. She looked fucking beautiful, sitting there without a stitch of makeup. There’s an elegance about her. I’ve always thought she was classy—too classy for the likes of me and Jackson.

But it’s not just the way she looked. Maddy Lockwood was so much more than how she looked. She’s had my attention and most likely my heart since the first time I laid eyes on her and I hadn’t been able to look away since.

“All good?” asked Jackson.

“Yeah, same shit—different day.” He knew about the problems we were having.

“You thinkin’ about reporting it yet?”

“Nothing to go on,” I sighed. “Hank and I agreed with some of the boys’ that we do some night patrols. See who or what we’re dealing with.”

Jackson gave a sharp nod of his head. “Let me know what you need from me.”

Maddy was now munching on a carrot, and damn. My boxers grew tighter as my eyes lingered on her lips whilst she sucked the end of the carrot stick.

How she made eating a carrot stick look pornographic was beyond my comprehension.

But then again, I’d been fighting the world’s most persistent hard-on since she moved in. Subtly, I adjusted myself, but Jackson didn’t miss a beat and smirked. Asshole.

I cleared my throat. “Enjoying that, Princess?”

“Oh, here, let me get you some. I got more dip in the refrigerator.” She pushed out of her chair.

“You don’t need to do that, Princess.”

Springing from her chair, she skipped toward the refrigerator. “I want to.”

My eyes fixed on the way her calves flexed, toned legs disappearing into a pair of cutoff denim shorts, her bare feet on our kitchen floor. There was something intimate about her being here.

I liked it. I could get used to it. Hell, I was already used to it.

She returned to the table, and popped open the lids on some fancy Tupperware I didn’t even know we owned.

“Here, try this.” She picked up a carrot stick and dunked it into some red-looking salsa before handing it to me. Biting a chunk off, I chewed and was surprised to find it tasted quite good.

“You like it?” Her blue eyes lit up, searching for my approval, which she never needed because she already had it. But it was something I’d picked up on. Maddy used to be sassy and confident, but since marrying that bastard, she’d changed.

“Damn good. Best carrot stick I’ve ever eaten.”

Her cheeks ripened. “You’re just sayin’ that.” Her tone teased, but her chin dropped.

I shook my head. My brows caved in. “Maddy,” I raised her chin with my finger, smiling. “I ain’t blowing smoke up your ass. This is good.” I reached for another stick and dipped it into the creamy salsa to prove my point.

“I got the cold dip recipe from Stella.” She beamed. “I’d like to cook more things for you.” Her eyes flicked to Jackson. “Both of you, if you’ll let me.”

“I think I can speak for us both and say we’d love that. But—” Her eyes widened. “We don’t expect you to be cooking for us all the time.” I smiled and polished off another two.

“So you have our full attention. What did you want to talk to us about?” I picked up my mug of coffee and dared a glance Jackson’s way, but his face gave nothing away.

Maddy pressed both hands on the table, straightening her posture. Tension settled in her small body and apprehension now filled those pretty blues. I put down my mug and reached across the table to take her hand. “Maddy, everything okay?”

Jackson reached for her other hand. “You know you can tell us anything, right?” He offered assurance.

Her head bobbed as she pulled her hands from ours and rose from her seat. Jackson glanced my way and shrugged.

“Okay, just give me a second. I had this all prepared.” She started pacing up and down, sanding her hands together as if they were cold.

She stopped, spinning around to face us. “I didn’t want to have to tell you this.” Dropping her hands to her sides, she clenched and unclenched her hands. “It’s not something I want to tell anyone. But whatever this is—between us, means it’s only fair I’m open with you both.”

She wasn’t making any sense.

Jackson glanced my way. “We’re listening.”

Her bare feet went back to wearing a hole in the floor. “And what I have to say might just change your mind and if we get it out of the way now, then we might save ourselves a lot of time and bother and upset.”

I could feel my stomach tighten. This didn’t sound good.

She added. “It might make you think differently about a relationship—with me.”

And she had no right thinking that way at all.

I snorted. “I seriously doubt that.”

Jackson nodded in agreement. “Didn’t we already have this conversation?” he added, the tension rolling off him.

Her forehead pinched. Shit, was she about to cry? All kinds of things ran through my head. “Princess, you’re worrying me—us.”

She audibly gulped and her voice hushed and cracked when she said, “I’m unable to have a physical relationship.” Her blinks turned rapid.

What?

“Princess. We already told you we’d go slow. Both of us,” reassured Jackson.

She shook her head, blotchy patches of heat rose up her throat, bursting onto her face. “No. It’s not that.”

Then what the hell was it? And I was out of my chair walking around the table and her eyes climbed up to meet mine. “Talk to us. Just spit it out. Whatever it is, we can figure it out.”

I slid my hand up to the side of her neck, rubbing a thumb across her soft skin. It felt so hot under my fingers.

Her head leaned into my touch and I heard Jackson’s chair scrape and he came up beside me, shoulder to shoulder, building a wall in front of her. “Go on...”

“I can’t have sex with you. Either of you.”

“Is it because you’re still married—to him? You want to wait until it’s all official with the divorce?” I asked, unsure what else it could be.

“No. I mean I can’t, can’t.”

My brow furrowed. “Can’t?” I repeated like an idiot.

“I’m not getting this, Princess. You need to explain it to us,” said Jackson.

“There’s something wrong with me. It’s a condition.” Her chest rose and fell fast and I was worried she was about to have one of those panic attacks. “My doctor calls it genito-pelvic pain disorder. It has some other fancy names, too.”

My voice became gravelly. “So when you say can’t, you mean it’s physically impossible for you to have sex?”

Casting her eyes downward. “I’m trying to fix it but...” she tailed off.

“So how did you and—” Jackson swallowed. ”Cooper.”

Maddy’s eyes lifted, cocking her head to the side, and shrugged. “We didn’t.”

“What. Never!?” Jackson beat me to the question, and I swore my feet grew roots and my jaw dropped.

“Not even once,” she confirmed.

“So you’re telling us you’ve never had sex with anyone?” I could hear the shock in his voice. “You’re a virgin?” he asked, almost incredulously.

“Yeah.” A silent puff of air slipped from her lips. “But you don’t have to say it like it’s a terrible thing.”

“Hell, Princess. I ain’t saying it’s a bad thing,” said Jackson, and my head might be a little slower to come to terms with it. But a steady heat pulsed through me and I felt simultaneously too light and far too anchored in my skin.

Maddy Lockwood was still a virgin.

It seemed almost unbelievable.

I tried to bite back a smile because Maddy looked far from happy having shared that with us. Me. I was ecstatic. It was like getting all your Christmas and birthday presents in one go.

I sensed Jackson’s eyes on me. I turned, and he had the same look and I knew the same thoughts were running through his head.

She’s ours. We’ll be her first. Her last.

“Princess,” Jackson started. “This is great news.”

Her eyes narrowed before widening. “You’re telling me that not being able to have sex is great news, Jackson!?” Her hip cocked as she planted her hands on either side.

He held his hands up. “No. I don’t mean it that way.”

“How did you mean it, Jackson?” Spitting out words like fire. “Y-you get to be my first? You think it’s that easy?”

Shit. This was heading south.

He looked at me for help, but what could I say?

“No. I was just—”

She thrust her hand out to stop him. “You’re not listening. You’re too busy thinking about punching out my V-card. Like it’s some goddam prize.” She huffed. “So tell me, Jackson. How do you think you might do that? Huh?” She charged on. “Because I can tell you it will be like fitting a square peg in a round hole.”

I tried to calm her down. “It’s gonna be okay...” but my words only made it worse.

She backed away from us both. “You say that now, Logan.” Her voice pitched. “But I know how important sex is in a relationship. Hell, between the two of you—you know half the women in Lockwood in the biblical sense.” She sucked in a shuttered breath. “And it’s not something that can be shoved aside or outsourced.” She shook her head in defeat. “Even if my marriage hadn’t been a sham, the lack of intimacy would have eventually destroyed it.”

I took a step closer, but she took another step back carrying on. “I’m broken and I’m not entirely sure they can fix me and you two shouldn’t have to settle for anything less than you both deserve.”

To hell with this distance. I crossed the room, cursing under my breath. “Hey, hey. You’re not broken, Maddy.” Pulling her into my arms, resting my chin on the top of her head. “I don’t want to hear you say things like that—things that just ain’t true.” Slowly she softened but then pushed me away.

Jackson came up behind her. “You can’t get away from us that easily, Princess.” He pressed his chest up against her back, resting a hand on each of her hips.

I closed the distance and rested one hand on her waist and I pressed my thumb against her lips, entranced by how supple they felt under my touch.

Her wide blue eyes looked up at me—a hint of confusion in them. So many questions. But what she didn’t realise was she already owned us. We’d do pretty much anything for her. And neither of us would walk away at the first bump in the road.

“We’ll figure this out.” I wasn’t sure how. “You’re not alone.” I glanced over Maddy’s head at Jackson, his left eyebrow crawling up.

She had to understand we were all in.

“And if you need space, or time, from one or both of us, then tell us. We won’t pretend to like it, but we’ll respect it.” Her cheeks heated. “But I promise you. If this condition you say might be fixable. Then that’s something we can work on together.”

Her dainty shoulders sagged a little. “I just want to be normal and enjoy what other couples—” Her eyebrows crunched. “I’m not sure what you’d call us? This?”

Jackson shrugged. “We don’t have to call it anything. I’ve never been big on labels, anyhow.”

“Trust us?” I asked. My pa always said the best things were worth waiting for— fighting for.

“I do trust you, Logan. Trust you both. But are you really willing to wait?”

“Hell, we’ve been waiting since you were sixteen. Some more ain’t gonna kill us.”

I shifted my hands to cup her cheeks. She still didn’t look altogether convinced. “It’s not a deal breaker. Hell, I want you just as much now as I did when I got up this morning and I know that I’ll still be wanting you the day they lower me into the ground.”

“Same here, Princess,” said Jackson.

Her head tilted back to look at Jackson and then back to me, sucking in her bottom lip.

“One step at a time, yeah?” I winked deciding it was time to focus on something else. “So how’s ’bout you tell you what you want to do on our first official date?”

Slowly, her lips curved upward. “You know the both of you are pretty hard to resist, right?” She shook her head.

“Damn straight,” said Jackson, and I chuckled. “But that’s not telling us what you wanna do tonight, Princess.”

“Oh...Oh, I love dancing and I haven’t been in so long.”

Jackson snatched her hand and spun her around. “Dancing it is.”

It was sweet music when she giggled. “Okay.” Jackson cupped her face between his large hands and captured her lips.

And didn’t that get my dick all excited again?

Down, boy. It will be some time before you see any action.

Maddy was blushing up a storm when he spun her around again, this time to face me. I dropped my voice, letting my eyes linger on her lips. “I think it’s only fair I get a taste too, Princess.”

She moved toward me with a sway to her hips.

My fingers wrapped around her delicate wrist, pulling her closer, lining up our hips she no doubt felt my buddy downstairs. Not blinking an eye her small hands slid across the expanse of my shoulders. “I’m guessin’ I can’t kiss one and not the other.” Her voice was so soft I barely heard it.

My head shook and my chest rumbled as she rose on her tiptoes and with a smile on my lips and I met her halfway, pressing my mouth to hers. She was soft and willing and when I groaned; she whimpered.

Hearing Jackson clearing his throat, I eased back to see bright blues staring back.

“Time for me to hit the shower,” she whispered.

As she walked away, I tried not to look at her ass, but failed. Jackson let out a deep groan too. I turned and walked toward the tall dresser, opening the door and pulled out my favourite bottle of bourbon, and took a pretty decent mouthful before putting it back in the cupboard and propping my hand on my hips. “You can drive tonight.”

I drove last night. It was his turn.

He said nothing, but that’s because I knew where his mind was at. Head falling low, I tried to get my head around everything she’s told us. And first thing tomorrow, I was gonna google the shit out of her condition. Because I wasn’t giving Maddy Lockwood any reason to walk away from us. Not Now. Not ever.