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Vox collapsed on top of me and we both laid there for a few minutes, breathing heavy and a little sweaty. He grinned at me, his golden eyes alight. I smiled in response.

He then rolled over, stood up, and picked something off of the floor. His boxers. He pulled them on and then faced me. “Do you want my shirt to sleep in?”

I sleepily nodded as he walked over to his dresser and pulled a clean t-shirt out. I had never seen him wear a plan t-shirt. He was always in dress or collard shirts. Or no shirt at all. I liked him with no shirt. I stared at his muscular frame as he walked back over. He smiled, “Like what you see?”

I nodded and bit my lip, “Yes.”

He gave me a lazy half smile as he handed me the shirt and crawled back into bed.

It was still dark when I woke up. Vox’s arms were wrapped around me, his forehead was pressed against the back of my neck. I could feel the bobby pins that Hal used in my hair poking me in the head. I sat up a little, trying to not create too much movement and wake up Vox. He stirred and rolled over, but didn’t open his eyes. I started pulling pins out of my hair one at a time. When I pulled the last one out, I laid back down. Another pin poked me in the back of the head as I hit the pillow. I frowned, pulled out the real last one and placed it on the nightstand with the others.

I knew that as soon as we kissed, the dam would break. And it did. There was a heat between us, a force that wouldn’t have let us stop if we started and that’s exactly what had happened. I had tried to delay it as long as possible, but the combination of the champagne and the way he looked at me made me disregard my better judgment.

When I finally settled back into bed, there was a knock on the door. Vox sighed and got up to answer it. Light from the hallway flooded the room. “What do you want Addeck?”

“Sorry to interrupt, but we have to talk.”

“Right now?” Addeck didn’t speak, but from Vox’s sigh I assumed he nodded. “Fine. Let’s go out in the hallway.”

The door closed behind him and the light went with them. I tried to stay awake for Vox’s return, but my eyelids started to get heavy and suddenly I was whisked away into my dreams.

I didn’t know how long I was actually asleep for, but I was woken by the sound of Vox yelling. His words were loud and clear, “Fuck!”

I got up and went to the door. I slowly opened it and peaked through. Addeck snapped his head in my direction. Vox turned, “Oh, sorry Emmary, I didn’t mean to wake you. Please go back to sleep.”

“What’s going on?”

He shook his head, “Nothing that you need to worry about.”

I sleepily nodded and closed the door. Their conversation got quiet again so I stayed near the door. What were they talking about?

“I guess we will just have to play it by ear then. If Captain Pike is already there then there is nothing we can do about it except wait.” The door handle jiggled slightly as if Vox had rested his hand on it. I raced back to the bed and jumped beneath the covers.

Captain Pike. He had definitely said Captain Pike. Did they trust that monster? Of course they would have no reason not to, after all they didn’t know he was the one who attacked me. Should I tell them, or should I just keep my mouth shut?

The door opened and then slammed. “Damn it.”

I sat up, “Is everything okay?”

Vox shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked over. “Yeah, just Addeck being himself. He tends to do whatever he wants.” He smiled as he got into bed with me, “I guess I can't blame him though, I can be the same way.”

“So whatever you were talking about, everything will work out?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Everything will be just fine. Don’t worry about a thing.”

Vox took me in his arms and I quickly fell asleep in the comfort they held. When I was with him, I felt safe and protected, like nothing could ever hurt me. When I woke up, Vox was gone. A note replaced him on his pillow.

Father called me into work. Rain check?

I frowned, disappointed that I would have to wait until visiting the library with Vox until later. I sighed and eventually managed to get out of bed. I went back to my room for a quick shower. That’s when I remembered my note to Koontz. I got dressed and opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out the envelope and paper Vox had given to me.

I guess now was as good of time as any to write it. I needed some sort of closure before I could really move on with Vox. As much as I loved Koontz, I could feel something with Vox stirring. It wasn't fair to him that I was hanging on to these feelings for someone else.

I sat down at the desk and pulled the pen out of a drawer and wrote.

Koontz,

Hi.

That was a good start. I sat there and stared at the paper, waiting for the words to come out. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say, or how to even say it. What was there left to say between us? Could I honestly tell him I loved him after the night I had just spent with Vox? I wanted to reverse time to when I was sure I loved him and that there would be no other person in the world that I could love more than I loved Koontz . I felt like I was trying to hang on to Koontz while I was being pulled toward Vox. The father I got pulled, the less of a grip I had on Koontz. The less sure that I was that I loved him. I did love him. At least that is what I kept telling myself. I wasn’t sure anymore.

What I was sure of was that I missed him. I missed his face, his shiny blue eyes and his soft brown hair and his crooked nose. I missed his laugh and the way he could cheer me up. I wanted to embrace him again and hear him tell me about the last mischievous thing he had done. And I wanted to hear him tell me about his day and I wanted to bore him with the plot of the book I was reading. I decided that’s what I would wright.

Koontz,

Hi. I miss you. A lot. More than you could imagine. I hope everything is good. I’m fine myself, the book that I am reading is really good, but I won’t bore you with the details. Sector 3 is indescribable. It’s huge and overwhelming and I just wish you were here. I wish you were here so I could talk to you and laugh with you. You would know exactly what to say to cheer me up. And I wish I had you here to do that, but I don’t.

You’re off with your match, your one, and this is just a silly letter to make it feel like you’re still apart of my life. But the truth is that you’re not. And I hate it. I hate not being able to see you or hear you or touch you. You’re my favorite person in the world and I just want to see you again. You and Teyland and Elex are the only people I truly miss. You were my family. I hope you say hi to them for me.

If I could do anything, anything in the world, I would go back in time to the day you begged me to stay with you. And I would tell you that I love you and I would run away with you, just like you wanted. Like I wanted. I would tell my practical side to shut up for a minute and just go. Go somewhere, anywhere with you. It’s too late now and every time I think of that moment, I am filled with regret.

I hope you have moved on though. And if you haven’t, I hope you do soon. You deserve better than to dwell on a girl like me. I hope that you and your match live happily every after and have as many kids as you want and that you grow old together and that you forget about me.

Em

I stare at my letter after I had finished it. It was everything I wanted to say, but no lies. I didn’t say I loved him, and I didn’t say that I didn’t. I said exactly how I felt. I missed him and I wish I could be with him and most of all I wanted him to be happy without me.

I folded up the letter and placed it in the envelope. I would have to remember to give it to Addeck later. My stomach started to grumble. I looked at the clock and it was almost noon. Time seemed to fly by in Sector 3.

I decided to go downstairs and see if lunch was ready. As soon as I opened the door, Hal passed by, “Hey Hal.”

She stopped and looked at me. “Emmary, honey, I love you, but if you could not ever speak at that octave again that would be great.” She put a hand to her head. Her eyes were bloodshot and squinting as if the lights were too bright.

“Are you hung over?”

Hal frowned and shook her head, "No, I didn't drink last night. I'm just very tired."

I looked down at her attire. She was still wearing the black dress from last night and her heels were in her other hand. I put two and two together. “Are you just now getting home-”

Hal put a finger to her lips, “Shh. Not here. My room.” I followed her into her purple room and sat down on the bed as she got dressed. “I just got home. Last night was a little eventful.”

“I’ll say.”

Hal frowned at me, “Don’t judge me.”

I smiled, “What happened?”

“Well, you-know-who was at-.”

“I actually don’t know.”

Hal frowned at me, “You know. Anyways he was at the wedding. And we talked and danced. And then he invited me back to his place so naturally I went. And then stayed up all night talking. And then I woke up this morning snuck out caught a cab and here I am.”

“So you’re not going to tell me who he is?”

Hal bit her lip, as if she wanted to tell me, but then thought better of it. “You wouldn’t know him even if I told you.”

I shrugged, “Then it’s not a problem that you tell me. It’s not going to effect anything.”

She sighed, “Fine.” She frowned and wagged a finger at me, “But don’t you dare tell anyone.”

“I told you, you can trust me with anything.”

Hal sat down on the bed next to me and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind my ear, “His name is Elex..”

I didn’t even hear the last name that went a long. I just nodded. Elex. That was Koontz’s brother. I pictured the small boy with his green eyes and Koontz’s nose and hair. He was like my brother and I could never see him again.

“Are you okay, Emmary?”

I snapped out of my thoughts and back to reality, “Yeah sorry. What is he like?”

“Well, he’s handsome, really handsome. And he’s smart and kind. We secretly dated in high school, but he broke things off after his match arrived from Sector 2.” She rolled her eyes, “Real bimbo. Anyways. We kind of hooked up at his wedding, and then kept seeing each other.” She paused and looked down at her fingernails that she was picking . “I know it sounds awful, we hooked up at his wedding, but we love each other. It’s always been that way. It’s not really fair that he’s stuck with her and I have no one and there is nothing that either one of us could do about it.”

I put a hand over hers, “Hal, it’s okay. I understand.” I understood more than she knew. To love someone only to have them become unattainable because of this stupid match system. I understood perfectly.

She nodded as a tear slipped down her cheek, “There’s something else you should know.”

“What?”

Before Hal could tell me what she wanted to say, her mother burst into the room, “Hal, darling. I need your help. I’m planning a little get together with me and some of the other wives tomorrow. Do you think I should get lilacs or orchids as the center piece? I just can’t decide.”

Hal smiled, “Maybe some other time.” She got off her bed and followed her mother out of the room.