Selcouth

The sky had been blue and filled with puffy clouds but the sun shined freely. “I think romance is a waste of time,” Bors told me.

I looked over at him, picking at the grass. “Why’s that?”

“Because romance is pointless. You could be doing something with your life instead of kissing a guy who doesn’t return the favor.”

“It was one kiss, Bors. One damn kiss and we have agreed not to talk about it. Besides, that kiss happened like a month ago.” I crossed my arms.

Bors came closer. “Well, Rapunzel, you’ve definitely tried very hard and I’m seeing the progress. If he isn’t, that’s his problem. Look at yourself.” He nodded his head towards me. “You’ve worked hard for this and you deserve to be happy.”

I looked at myself, touching my arm. “I still want to be with him. I can’t explain it to you, but I know that this is what I want. This is who I want.”

Bors blew out air as if he was sighing like a person. “How long has it been since you escaped and he took you in?”

I scrunched my nose. “I... I don’t know. Maybe three months? I’m bad at this time thing.”

“Exactly. You’ve been going after him for a while and he still hasn’t manned up and told you how he really feels. Rapunzel, I’m no expert here but on the few occasions I have met him, I can see how he looks at you. He says he wants a different woman but he doesn’t get to control who he’s attracted to. He likes you and that’s for sure. He just has to come to accept it.”

“Accept it? Is it so hard for him to really accept that I could be better for him than what he thinks he wants?”

“It’s not that he doesn’t accept it because he wants something different. He doesn’t accept it because... Look at it from his perspective, Rapunzel. You’re a vulnerable woman. You came into this world and were taken away from it as a baby. You escaped. You were so new to this world and you’re still learning. You have a stalker. You have powers. Knowing what he knows, he’s more likely worried about being with you because of the fact that you’re so new to this,” Bors explained.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t understand but okay.”

Bors continued, “He’s got a lot of experience in this world. You don’t. He assumes he’s too much for you. You’re not ready to handle someone like him. That’s exactly what he probably thinks.”

“Oh come on, I’m the one with issues. I have panic attacks. I can’t take baths without crying. I have a stalker. He doesn’t want to be with me because I’m the one who’s too much to handle.”

“I’m trying to explain to you and you’re never going to listen.” He left me alone in the park.

I sighed, looking at myself. I stood up and walked out of the park. “Rapunzel!” someone yelled my name.

I looked back and saw Kara. She came up to me. “Hey, I brought something for you.” She gave me a drink. “You might like it. It’s strong but you get used to it.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

I sniffed it. “It stinks.”

She laughed. “You’ll like it. Trust me. I know you’ve been having a tough time and I want you to feel better for a little bit.”

I looked at the drink and sighed. “I guess that’s true. This situation with Roman is driving me crazy. I wanna talk about it but I told him not to and now I can’t and I’m dying to know how he feels about the kiss.”

“I can tell.” She chuckled.

I sipped the drink and coughed. “Holy fudge, that is burning my throat.”

“It’s vodka mixed with green apple. It’s sour and strong but it’s good when you get used to it.” She took her own sip of it.

I coughed and nodded. “Wow, that is seriously strong. It burns!”

Kara watched me and gave me some water to help ease it.

I drank the water and took a deep breath. “That’s just awful.”

“You don’t like it?”

“Will it get better?”

“It probably will.”

I grabbed it and drank some more, coughing again. “This is basically how I feel about the situation with Roman. I kissed him and now I wanna know what’s about to happen. Nothing. Nothing is about to happen.” I drank more before I drove myself into madness.

“Sounds rough,” Kara whispered.

“Yeah, and Bors is trying to tell me that he just feels like I can’t handle him but I know it’s because he can’t handle me. I know. Roman is a good looking guy.”

“And you’re an attractive woman,” Kara said and turned to me, stopping in her tracks. “You’ve worked hard to gain back the muscle you lost years ago.”

I looked at my arms, seeing my biceps. I may not have had boobs but I wasn’t the skinny girl anymore. I could fit into clothes much easier now.

“You don’t have boobs. That’s fine. Boobs are not all that great. Bras are uncomfortable. They bounce. Boys stare at them and it’s annoying when they can’t look into your eyes. They only care about your boobs. Boobs hurt when they get hit. You are blessed. Find the blessings in your situation.”

I looked at my chest. “How can this be a blessing?”

“You’ll never have to worry about a man focusing on your boobs. He won’t be trying to unclip your bra when you just want to make out. His focus will be on you, and not the girls.” She grabbed my face, cupping my cheeks. “You are blessed in your own way. Accept it.”

I nodded, drinking some more of the drink after she let go of me.

I faltered in my steps and grabbed the wall for support. I sat down, holding onto the water bottle. “Kara, I think I want to talk about it again. I’m going to have to do something. The anticipation is too hard.” I drank more and looked up and looking around the area. “Kara? Where did you go? Oh my gosh.” I covered my mouth. My stalker stole her. That was my only explanation.

I drank more to comfort my thoughts. I shook my head before finishing off the bottle. I looked around the area, noticing looks from others. I grabbed my phone and pressed the green button under Roman’s contact.

It rang a few times before he picked up on the other end. “Rapunzel, what is it? I’m heading to work.”

I whined. “Roman, I need you. A street off Main Street. Everyone here stinks. I think one guy wants to rape me and another girl wants to kill me. They have those faces.” I laughed to myself, leaning back against the wall.

“Oh shit, Zel, are you drunk? Tell me which store you’re by. I’m coming.” There was some jangling of keys.

“You’re too good to me.” I looked up at the store I was near and named it for him, smiling. I heard some click on the other end. I made a face and looked at my phone before putting it back to my ear. “Hello? Roman? Roman, I think the government ended our call. You still there?” I looked at my phone. The government was listening and he didn’t like it. Did he know about my powers, too?

It wasn’t long before Roman found me and helped me into his car. He took me back to the apartment. He closed the door and put his keys down, sighing. “Damnit, how did this happen?”

“Kara gave me a nice drink. I was upset. I don’t know what’s going on between us but I don’t want to talk about it but I do and I couldn’t help it. And now...” I fell onto the couch. “I feel funny...”

He sat next to me. “You’re drunk. You drank too much alcohol.” He rubbed his face and groaned. “Now I get to deal with this. Maybe Kara is a bad influence on you. First, she lets you nearly drown, and now she’s trying to get you drunk.”

“No...” I pouted. “She’s good...” My words began to slur and drag out. I couldn’t stop them.

Roman held my face, making me look at him. “Rapunzel, you need some sleep. You will need to get over this. You will have a hangover and I will help you through it but you must know that alcohol is not good. This happens. You can’t defend yourself from that stalker like this.”

I laughed a bit and closed my eyes. “You’re hands are so warm... You’re so warm, Roman... So so perfect...” My words continued to drag on. I laid my head back on the couch as this world slipped away from me.

I looked at the clock, whining. The throbbing pain in my head was unbearable. I wanted to scream and bang my head against something until it stopped.

Roman came in the room, bending down. “I brought water and aspirin,” he almost whispered these words to me.

I grabbed the pill and took it, laying back in our bed. He moved me while I slept. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

“What happened?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “Nothing really. You said I was warm and Kara is a good person. That’s all that really happened before you passed out.”

I had no recollection of anything that happened after my mind faded. It was all a missing piece in my head.

I laid on my back and rubbed my aching head. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For ending up like this and making you take care of me. Don’t you have to work?” I looked over at him.

He chuckled and sat on the edge of the bed. “I did but I told them what went down. I never call out. It’s not like I’m that employee.”

“So when is this headache going to end?”

Roman let out a laugh. “End? Nah, not today. It may fade but it won’t be done until tomorrow. You drank alcohol. It was your first time. It’s going to be hard on you.”

“Is this what sex feels like? Will I have a headache when I have sex?”

“No. You’ll be sore, maybe. Depends on whoever does that to you. Some guys are rough. Some are gentle. Some are in between. Just make sure you both like similar things. I wouldn’t want to see you crying because he was extremely rough when you wanted him to be gentle. Besides, it’s only the first time. First times are awkward and gross and weird. You’ll bleed on his penis. You’re going to be in some pain. It’s going to be an experience you won’t enjoy to the fullest because of the fact that you’ve never had sex.” He pointed at me.

I yawned. “So I’m hearing that I’m doomed to have a terrible first experience because it’s my first.”

“Yes.”

“So then why should it matter who it’s with? If it’s going to suck anyway, why not just have sex with a stranger?” I hugged my pillow. This headache was just so loud.

“Well, usually because you wanna avoid STDs and people still want to only have sex with people they care about. Sex means something to some people and they want to make sure it’s with people who mean something to them. I can’t stop you from what you choose to do. But I can tell you that I wouldn’t appreciate you bringing home men to the apartment I pay rent for.” He gave me a look.

I opened my mouth, unsure of how to reply. “Uh...”

He added, “And I won’t bring random women either. Until we live separately, we agree not to make the other person feel weird about the sex they have to hear from us.”

I still got the vibe that he wasn’t interested in me. I just wasn’t his type. I knew the answer. He didn’t enjoy the kiss. Bors was a lying horse.

“Rapunzel?”

I shifted my eyes to him, shaking my head. “It’s nothing. Forget about it.” I gave him a fake smile. I couldn’t forget about it but I didn’t want to talk about it either. It was painful to realize that he was never going to return the feelings.

“Well, I shall spend the rest of my day in bed,” I said.

Roman nodded his head and left me alone in our room. This was my reality. It was time to start moving on from Roman.