Savior Complex: An MM Age Gap Romance (Wild Heart Ranch Book 3)

When Levy’s eyes meet mine in the mirror, they burn with heat and passion. The guilt I sometimes see is missing, though never missed. He turns in my arms, kissing me. I can’t help checking out our reflection as we kiss, enjoying the pattern of tattoos on his backside. My hands, dark and free of ink, contrast beautifully against his skin, and I squeeze to verify this is real.

“Have you recovered from breakfast and lunch?” he asks between placing delicate kisses on my neck.

“Yes, I have. Let’s, uh, go see about your bedroom.”

Grinning, he pushes past me, dragging me by my towel to the bedroom, which is essentially a bed with four walls around it. Despite the limited space, the bed is large, and there’s plenty of room for us. He doesn’t have any curtains up, but we are surrounded by trees. The light filtering through leaves gives everything a golden hue.

We kiss and rub against each other until we’re both fully hard and leaking.

“Drawer,” Levy says, pointing to the side of the bed.

I open it and reach in blindly, expecting the condoms and lube to be right there. Instead, my hand lands on something soft.

When I look over the edge of the bed, I grin and hold up the delicate scrap of white lace, a series of bands, and what looks to be a G-string.

“What do we have here?”

His eyes widen, and he pulls a pillow over his face. “Put that away!” he says, muffled and embarrassed.

“Okay, but we are revisiting this at some point.”

Digging around a little more carefully, I find the condoms and lube. Stroking myself, I suck on one of his nipple piercings and take a moment to focus. When my hands stop shaking, I roll the condom down my greedy cock and slather it with lube.

Still looking sheepish, Levy peeks out from under his pillow, watching my hand work up and down my length.

“Don’t be shy,” I say, crawling over him and taking the pillow so I can kiss his sweet face. “I am so turned on by the thought of seeing you in lace that I can barely think straight.”

He strokes a finger between his brows, flushed and beautiful. “I…I was trying something.”

“And did you like it?”

He looks to the side, nodding as he bites his lip.

“I bet it contrasts beautifully with your tattoos.”

His eyes track to mine, and I lift my chin, silently demanding an answer.

“Yes.”

“Mm. Fuck it,” I say, diving back into the drawer to grab the silky lacy nothingness. “Please. Please put this on for me. Please.”

He flushes. “You really want to see it on me?”

I give him prayer hands. “I’ll put it on you myself.”

“Okay.”

Shaking it out carefully, I identify the bands that go around the waist and thighs, with a garter attaching the two. The G-string has a gauzy pouch for his pretty cock and thin, barely-there strings.

I put that on him first, gently pulling the tiny scrap of material up his thighs, setting the string in place before adjusting his already-plump cock in the stretchy, see-through pouch.

The bands around his waist and thighs pull up easily, and I attach the garters for full effect. Needing the entire view, I stand on the bed, my feet straddling his hips.

He brings his hands above his head, canting his knees off to the side in a classic pinup pose, nearly killing me with how sexy, innocent, and filthy he looks. The white lace and garters against the miles of tattooed skin with his beard…fuck.

“You’re beautiful.”

The delicate material highlights the ways in which he is both so very strong and a little bit soft. He is not just beautiful. He’s perfection.

Levy runs a nervous hand through his hair and then flicks an uncertain gaze at me. I stroke my hard cock so he can see what he’s doing to me, that it’s not just words.

Still straddling his hips, I kneel and return to kissing him, adding more lube before working my slick fingers underneath him, finding his pretty hole by touch as I move aside the delicate string.

He moans as I slide my middle finger inside him for the second time today, and after a few tentative thrusts, I add a second finger, holding him in place as he moans and humps against my hand. Stretching my fingers, I lay kisses down his neck and chest and…oh, nipples again. I add a third finger, taking it slow until he’s desperate and relaxed.

“You ready?” I ask, double-checking.

He bites his lower lip, watching me with a dazed, glazed look of supreme satisfaction. I stroke myself once or twice more with lube, then push inside him, rolling my eyes at the tight heat, loving how he wraps himself around me and says he can’t get enough.

I can’t get enough either.

The gauzy, stretchy material encasing his dick strains as he hardens, reaching its limit. His eyes never leave mine, and once again, the beast who feeds on his vulnerability and neediness roars to life inside me.

Levy’s clearly his own man, well educated, kind, the sort of person who makes his community better simply by being in it. His willingness to show me this vulnerable part of himself twists my insides.

I’m the guy who goes into dark, scary places, and until now, that meant I avoided emotional entanglements. Maybe it was necessary when I didn’t know Ant was safe, but I wonder if the rules have changed.

Maybe it’s the lace and garters, but it feels like divine timing, finding him now, right when I can appreciate this level of desire and vulnerability. It’s funny. The people most hurt by their experiences in life strive to help others through it the way he does with the horses. He probably thought that was somehow protecting him from the things he lost, not realizing how much he gives to the people around him.

I know from first-hand experience that helping others doesn’t prevent the sense of loss from overwhelming me, but it’s the only thing that’s allowed me to move forward year after year.

Maybe the reason I see this need for connection in him is because I have the same need. I wonder if Levy sees in me what I see in him.

Pushing deeper inside him, I drink up his moans and sighs, loving the way his head tips back in ecstasy. Quiet, even though his grip on me is loud. The way his body clenches around me, then releases, little by little, letting me invade him farther.

I rain kisses down on his face, letting words tumble from my lips that have never seen the light of day.

“You are so beautiful.”

“I have never felt this way with anyone else.”

“Take me. Take all of me, gordito.”

“Your body is magic.”

His responses aren’t verbal. They’re from his body. He glows under my praise, tightening around me, kissing me more deeply as his eyes widen and go shiny. He blinks away the emotion, trying to pretend it’s not there.

But I see it. I see it so clearly that he might as well be made of glass. Thrusting into him makes him seem more open and vulnerable, which should be terrifying. He’s falling, and I’m watching it happen. Instead of running, I’m holding on and falling right along with him.

I didn’t think I would have new experiences or feelings at my age. I was quite satisfied with how things were, the uncomplicated fucks that kept me sane while I roamed the countryside like Liam Neeson looking for his daughter.

Hm. I’m already saying words like was and were, talking about them in the past tense as if they’re some distant history, not a Grindr hookup from two weeks ago.

Speaking of, I took the app off my phone yesterday. Didn’t even think about it. Just push, swipe, gone.

Didn’t even think about it.

“What are you doing to me?” I ask, kissing his eyelids.

“Whatever I’m doing to you, you deserve it because you’re doing the same to me,” he grumbles, trying to act put out.

We’re here, right at the very beginning, not knowing nearly enough about each other, and yet…I feel as though I know everything about him. Or at least, I want to know everything as soon as I possibly can.

I’m reminded of an old Garfield cartoon where he stands at the end of the banquet table and tilts it toward his open mouth, eating all the food at once. Because that’s what I am—a glutton for him. I want all his secret stories, all his vulnerabilities, all his neediness.

With all the things I don’t yet know, I know for certain I’m going to fall in love with him. My sisters had both fallen in love almost immediately when they found their spouses. I’d scoffed each time they described how they’d known more or less immediately.

Gigi’s experience solidified the feeling that insta-love was a disaster waiting to happen, and Yaya just got lucky.

But I already feel it. I know it’s happening in real-time. Right now. I would already kill for him, and if that’s not the beginning of love, I don’t know what else is. Refocusing on the man in my arms, I speed up my thrusts.

“Beautiful.” I kiss his eyelids again.

“Beautiful.” I kiss his nose.

“Beautiful.” I brush my lips across his chin.

“Beautiful.” I kiss the painted stars by his eyes.

Sliding one hand under the back of his head to cup it, I tilt my hips enough to get my other hand between us, stroking him as I look deeply into his eyes. Angling my hips, I watch Levy shatter below me, pumping cum onto his belly and chest as the features of his face spell out the depth of his ecstasy. The tightening of his body sends me crashing down with him.

“Fuck, I—”

I bite my lip, shocked by the words that want to escape. It’s way too fucking soon, both for the words and the feelings. This makes no sense, and yet, the words nearly tumbled out of my lips like they were the easiest thing on earth.

I fill the condom, wishing it was the hot clench of his body, promising myself I’ll get tested as quickly as possible if he’s willing to go bare with me. God, I hope so.

Our bodies finally still, and the look we share is a combination of fear and passion, something undeniable and universal. I bring my hand to his face.

“We’re in trouble, aren’t we?” I say, panting hard, unsure if it’s from the sex or the emotion.

He nods, tears hovering at the corners of his eyes.

“Don’t be afraid, Lev. I’ve got you.”

He blinks, and the tears fall. Taking several deep breaths as if trying to gather courage, he nods along with me.

“Okay. I trust you.”

There are few words in the universe more powerful than trust. He’s already said it once, and now he’s said it again, and I know he believes it. No matter who I was or where I was going in life, I have a new mission. Earn his trust in every possible way.

I didn’t anticipate spending the night, but I couldn’t leave Levy after everything we said to each other. When I texted Ant to tell him I would be away for the night, he sent me back an eggplant and a water splash emoji. I was a little worried he would not accept this thing between Levy and me, but I think he likes us together.

I find myself awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering. Just…wondering.

Watching Levy sleep is magical. The way everything about him relaxes and gives in…you don’t see that often in my line of work. Being able to wake up quickly and be ready for devastating violence at the drop of a hat is a pretty important skill, one that’s saved my life many times over the last decade or so.

None of that urgency is here in this little trailer in the woods. No, this is a place for peace. Recovery, maybe. I’m suddenly seized by the desire to do something for him, to show him that his trust in me is well-placed. I don’t know what this is. I don’t know what this could be, but I’d be a fool to not chase it down.

I get up to take a piss, passing his comically tiny shower closet, and suddenly the answer for what I can do for him is crystal clear. Digging in his jeans from yesterday, I find the key to his surprise.

Leaving a note on the pillow, I head out with one objective: show him I mean business.

A couple of hours later, he joins me on the deck.

“What’s going on out here?” he asks, sleep-rumpled and shirtless, absent-mindedly rubbing his belly.

I grin, holding up the plans for the outdoor shower he’s been dreaming about.

Pointing to the stack of wood and the bags from the local supply store, I explain, “I found where you bought the wood and made some choices with the showerhead and the knobs, but I can take those back if you hate them.”

The store I bought everything from has the same family name that’s on Ant’s work clothes, which feels like symmetry. More of the divine geometry of this place.

Levy grins as he looks through the bags. “I can’t believe you’re doing this. I love the choices you made.”

I shrug, a little shy for having started this without talking to him first.

“I…I couldn’t let you live without a good shower.”

The tips of his ears go red, and he runs his fingers through his newly sharpened beard, looking sexier than he has any right to.

Holding up his finger, he jogs into the trailer and comes out a few moments later, still shirtless but now wearing his cargo shorts and the hiking boots he’s been wearing the last couple of days.

“Let’s build a shower.”

Just like with the deck, we get into a pattern and make quick work of the project. We’re sweaty and gross by early afternoon, but the generous shower is lovely under the tall trees and the water connections work perfectly. He even likes the bench I added.

Grinning, he chucks off his clothes and steps inside, turning on the water, letting it rain down on him.

“Join me,” he says, extending his arms toward me as he gives me grabby hands.

I hold up a finger and run inside to grab shampoo, soap, and a washcloth, then disrobe. Walking naked from the house, I join him in the shower. We take turns cleaning each other thoroughly, then, slippery and soapy, we come together under the water, kissing each other as we rinse off. I suppose there’s a real life to go back to at some point, but this magical spot in the woods is everything. I’ve never felt this good with another person before.

As Levy leans into my body, laying soft kisses up and down my neck, it occurs to me that finding Ant somehow released me to feel things I’ve never let myself feel before.

I wrap an arm around Levy as he lets his hand drift down my chest and abs, his talented, painted fingers delving into my pubic hair before he takes me in hand, stroking me. He pushes his erection into my hip, and he’s deliberate about it. He’s not trying to shoot me to the moon. Rather, I get the sense he wants to keep me grounded here on earth.

The gently erotic sensation between us builds at an achingly slow pace. That is until it becomes desperate. Levy switches up, stroking me faster as he tilts his chin, begging for a kiss.

Who am I to deny him? I kiss him again and again, continuing to let him use my hip as I use his hand. The orgasm is slow and then sudden. Lazy, then a train bearing down on me. Grunting and moaning, we come on each other, watching as the water washes it all away.

He pulls back enough to look me in my eyes, sawing at his bottom lip, concerned where there should only be relaxed joy.

“What’s wrong?”

Levy shakes his head and looks to the side, and I touch his chin, silently requesting he look me in the eye. “Tell me.”

His chin trembles. “I’m falling for you. I know I am, and I can’t go around with this huge feeling in my chest without telling you. It would feel like lying, and you are the last person I’d wanna lie to. I love what you’ve done for Ant. I love the way you make me feel calm and seen. You even see the parts of me that aren’t quite healed, and you let them be. And I can’t control where this is going.”

Tears tumble down his cheeks, and he laughs, stepping under the rainfall to hide his emotion.

“I’m such an idiot. I hope I didn’t ruin everything,” he murmurs, the water bubbling his words.

I shake my head, then pull him in close. “You are not an idiot. I had to bite my tongue not to tell you the exact same thing last night when we were making love. I’ve learned over these last several horrible years that you don’t let joy go unnoticed. You appreciate the pleasures, small and large. One doesn’t discount emotions like this.”

“No?”

Shaking my head, I answer, surprised at the strength of my voice. “I’m falling for you too, Levy. I don’t care how long I’ve known you. This is either the truest and deepest love I’ve ever felt, or an alien is residing in my chest, and it’s about to get super fucking messy in here.”

The fear and uncertainty from a few seconds ago bleed out of his expression. He relaxes at the cellular level.

“I hope not,” he jokes, pausing to kiss my jaw. “We worked really hard on this shower, and you having an Alien moment would totally ruin the mood.”

“We can’t have that, now can we?”

Despite having just come, we meet in a passionate kiss, clinging to each other. After several moments, I pull back, touching my forehead to his.

“All your emotions, Levy. I want all of them. Never hold back a single one.”

“Even if I get mad at you?”

“Then tell me so I can fix it. Or so we can have hate sex. I don’t care either way.”

He snort-laughs, burying his face in my neck, leaning against me.

“Even if I’m feeling needy and want you to take care of me?”

“I have a confession to make,” I say, running my hand over his round, perfect ass.

“Yeah?”

“I love that about you. My favorite thing about you is how you own your desires, and I want so much to help you fulfill them. I want to see you relax under my care in the same way you make me relax with your affections.”

He tightens his hold on me, and we stand under the water until it goes cold. After toweling off, we walk inside, spending the rest of the day naked in bed, whispering the things we love about each other, then showing each other what we mean over and over again.

The insistent drumbeat of the real world is right outside our windows, but for today, we choose to ignore it.