Ruled by the Blaze (The Unwanted Marriage)

CALLUM'S POV (Broke)

"I don't want to see you! I despise you! You killed my child..."

Hearing those hurtful words from her is like double pain that broke my heart into pieces.

Seeing her so broke, wreck and continuously crying makes my whole body trembled. Accusing me as a cheater and the one who killed our child feels like a heavy thing that I can't swallowed. Why did we end up like this? "Callum...it's better if you'll just go home"

Pakiusap ni Mrs. Clemente pag labas niya ng room.

I could still hear Patricia's shout here even though she's not seeing me anymore.

I looked up at Patricia's mom but she can't look at me straightly. Tanging lungkot at awa para sa anak ang nakikita ko sa mata niya.

"She's hysterical. She keeps shouting your name" her voice is pleading. "Please, don't make this thing hard for her. I can't stand seeing her like that. It also hurts me,"

Napayuko ako at bahagyang napalunok. Naramdaman ko ang pag hawak ni mommy sa balikat ko, kanina ko pa siya kasama rito pero kahit siya ay hindi makapasok sa loob.

Patricia is so mad.

"Uh...w-we're sorry. Maybe we will back if she's already calm," mommy apologized then held my arm. "Let's go, Callum..."

Nagpatianod ako sa pag hila ni mommy, kasama rin namin si Austine at Ram.

Nang makarating kami sa sasakyan ay nilunod ng boses ni mommy ang pandinig ko.

"Wag ka muna magpakita sa kanya ngayon-"

"I can't do that!" I object. "We lost our baby and I should be in her side to comfort her-"

"How can you comfort her, kuya?" Ram suddenly asked. "Not to offend you but at some point...it's your fault why the situation became complicated. She don't want to see you. Doble ang sakit niya dahil nadamay pa ang anak niyo," Natahimik ako.

"Ikaw ang sinisisi niya, anak. Kung magpapakita ka pa ay mas mahihirapan siya. Masakit mawalan ng anak. Malungkot at nakakadurog ng puso kaya wag mo muna siya gulohin..."

My shoulders started trembling. I lowered my head and cried in silent. I felt mommy caressing my shoulders. I felt so hopeless and so tired.

"H-Hindi ko sinasadya, mommy..." I sobbed. "I didn't meant to do that. I'm also in pain. It's also my child. Am I not allowed to grief over my child?"

Seeing her sitting on that cold ground, crying in pain while those fresh bloods was dripping down to her legs flashing back in my mind again. As much as I try to forget that, it doesn't leave my mind.

It haunted me to the point that I still can't sleep until now after what happened.

"Walang may gusto ng nangyari," mom said in a soft voice but I shook my head.

"She's right though. Maybe I do really cheated on her for agreeing with Zara. I killed our child..."

"You didn't-"

"She's suffering right now because of me..."

Naihatid na ako nila mommy sa bahay kaya panibagong lungkot na naman ang bumalot sa'kin. Ayaw pa sana nila ako iwanan pero itinaboy ko na sila.

There's no kiss and sweet smile welcomed me anymore as I go straight to our room. She's no longer going back to me.

Mommy said that I should rest but my mind were still thinking about Patricia. In the end, I just went to the balcony and drink some wine and I could say that it's effective because in less than an hour, I felt sleepy and decided to sleep. The next morning, I went straight in the memorial because of the burial of our child. I also didn't expect Mr. Clemente to call me for my presence there. It was more unexpected when I saw my parents there. "Agatha..."

I read the name written on my child's grave. Mrs. Clemente said that it's Patricia's choice name. Well, sounds angelic.

"Are you okay?" mommy asked nang inililibing na ang anak ko. "You look sleepless. Sabi ng katulong niyo ay nag inom ka raw kagabi,"

Hindi ko sinagot si mommy dahil nakatuon lang ako sa aking anak. Ramdam ko ang nangingilid kong luha kaya pinilit ko ang sarili na pigilang wag umiyak sa harap nila.

I'm sorry, Agatha. You had an irresponsible father. I promise, if everything's gets better, I would still pursue your mom.

After the burial, Patricia's parents are acting cold towards me and I understand them.

I want to see Patricia and consult if she's okay but they just object. Galit daw sa'kin ang anak nila kaya gumawa ako ng ibang paraan. I tried going in their house but I was banned in the village so I asked mom for that.

I thought we still had the chance to fix our relationship but when I found out that she want to file an annulment, I gone crazy. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko at puro negatibo na lang ang naiisip. Hindi ako makausad na kahit trabaho ay hindi ko na nagagawa ng tama.

Mom talk to her for the last time but she's just too hard to please. She wants to erase me. She wants me out in her life that I can't accept. It's her wish for me to do but that was beyond painful to all the pain I went through in my life. "She refused to talk or just see you. Tinanggap niya ang titulo ng bahay na ipinabibigay mo pero hindi ko siya nakumbinsi. Sorry, anak..."

I felt a huge disappointment to myself.

For the last time, I tried my luck. I begged for her. Kneel and apologize about everything but in the end, she answered me with her expression that screams so much tired and pain.

"Just sign the annulment and we're done, Callum!"

Hearing that from her feels like there's a great pain that rushed to my heart. Nang makita ko ang pagod sa mata niya, determinasyon at kagustuhan na kumawala sa'kin ay parang sinasaksak ako ng maraming beses.

And after knowing that she will leave, in that moment...I realized that I can't stop her anymore. She has made up her mind to leave me...without hesitation.

-

"Wala na sa bansa si Patricia. Nakaalis na raw..."

Umigting ang panga ko sa sinabi ni Austine na nakaupo sa harap ko.

My chest suddenly felt so heavy. Humigit ako ng malalim na hininga bago bumaling sa mga papeles sa ibabaw ng lamesa ko. Itinapon ko 'yon lahat sa sahig kaya napabalikwas si Austine sa gulat. "Fuck it!" I hissed angrily.

"Bro, chill!" ani Austine at bahagyang natatawa. "Why so-"

"Chill?" I looked at him darkly. "How can I?! She left me, Austine! My wife just left me! Damn it!"

I slammed my fist on my table so hard makes it to get cracked. I also kicked my swivel chair makes it to bump with my small drawer full of some folders so some were scattered on the floor.

Malalim ang pag hinga ko at hindi magawang kumalma. She left me. She really did.

"Now you're hurting..." Austine seriously uttered.

Lumingon ako at nakitang umiiling siya.

Yes, I'm really hurting.

I didn't expect that I would be like this over her. Reminiscing with our first encounter, I thought she's just a normal girl who doesn't know how to value a relationship but I'm wrong. I underestimate her feelings.

"If only you had told her everything. Truth about you and Zara, why you were together in those pictures. She would understand you better, if you hadn't been selfish about truth,"

I could hear his disappointments.

Nakita ko siya'ng mariin ang titig sa dibdib ko. Nakasuot ako ng white long sleeve at nakabukas ang tatlong butones sa itaas kaya nakikita niya ang bagong tattoo ko.

Few days after Agatha's burial, I decided to tattooed her whole name on my skin. Para naman sa ganitong paraan, maramdaman kong nagkaroon ako ng anak. I also tattooed Patricia's name, no one knows about it. Her name was placed on my back.

"Yung nangyari sa baby niyo, hindi ko siya masisisi kung bakit siya nagalit sayo. But if you ever admit the truth, the situation will not lead to this,"

Marahas ako'ng suminghap at naramdaman ang pag-iinit ng mukha ko. I already expect that she will leave but now that she already did...I can't accept it.

I'm longing for her.

Just thinking about the possibility that she could have someone else to love there and be happy is like squeezing my heart.

It's not that I don't want her to be happy, but if that happens, I will be even more devastated and broke. I can't stand someone loving her more than I love her. I'm afraid to see her treated right that I didn't do to her before.