Ruled by the Blaze (The Unwanted Marriage)

Patricia's POV (Secret)

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko naisalba ang mga dumaan na araw na para bang wala akong problema.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nakayang umarte na walang pakialam sa paligid at walang kakaibang naramdaman. Ilang gabi akong hindi nakatulog dahil sa nalaman ko...

Dalawang araw na rin ako'ng hindi nakakapasok sa school at nag-aalala na si Jess sa'kin. She really wanted to visit me but I declined.

Tingin ko'y pati ang mga katulong dito ay nahahalata na ang pagbabago ko. Malimit na lang ako'ng bumaba dahil nagpapadala na lang ako ng pagkain dito sa kwarto. Kahit si Callum ay pilit gumagawa ng paraan para makausap ako pero agad ko siya'ng iniiwasan.

"Hello?"

I finally answered Jess's call after her so many attempts. Ayaw ko pa sana siya kausapin pero makulit siya.

"Patricia! Thank god you answered! I'm so worried about you! How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay-"

"Oh, stop lying! I know you're not! What's your plan? Kailan mo yan sasabihin sa parents mo?"

"I don't have any plan...as of now" nangangamba kong sabi. "Hindi ko alam ang magiging reaksyon nila, Jess"

Rinig ko ang malalim na pag hinga niya sa kabilang linya.

"It's a common for you to be pregnant! Of course they'll accept it because you had a husband, mabuti kung wala, e!"

Suminghap ako bago umiling. "I was not ready and I will never be ready for this..."

I was not really expecting this. It's really out of my plan.

Hindi rin ako sigurado na matatanggap agad ito nila mommy. I'm still studying, hindi pa ako tuluyang ganap na doktor ay mukhang mahahadlangan iyon dahil dito.

"We can't do anything but to accept it, Pat" malumanay na sabi ni Jess. "Your husband is damn rich so what's bothering you? Ang pag aaral ba at pagiging doctor? You can still achieve that, dummy! Just don't you dare to do something stupid to your-"

I immediately ended the call.

Bastos man ay wala na akong pakialam. Tuluyan ng tumulo ang mga luha na kanina ko pa pinipigilan. Inihagis ko ang cellphone ko at dumapa sa kama. I cried hard as I could. My chest was so heavy so I want to cry it out to at least lessen my pain.

My mind was still flying over so many things even with the reasons why I came to this. My doubts disappeared when I remembered the thing happened between me and Callum, it was coming back to my mind.

How we shared kisses and pleasured each other's body. My whole body trembled as my cries grew louder. I covered my mouth with my hand to stop my sobbing but I can't. My shoulders also shaking.

It's my fault because I let that happen. It's my fault so now I'm the one stuck in this situation. Iniisip ko pa lang ang mga posibleng mangyari dahil dito ay parang sinasaksak na ako. How about my dreams?

I was desperate to achieve that kaya kahit ipinakasal ako kay Callum ay ayos lang dahil alam kong tuloy parin ang pag aaral ko at hindi lang ako magiging house wife.

I felt disappointed to myself and I couldn't accept how my parents even Jordan, would feel.

Pakiramdam ko binigo ko sila.

How I was able to keep going? Kung ngayon pa lang hindi ko alam kung paano sasabihin kay Callum na...buntis ako. How? I know there are other women who want to have children but in my case, I can't help but feel sad for myself. My relationship with Callum is not forever. We had a one year contract and how I was supposed to be happy if after one year, I will be free again but with a heavy responsibility?

My phone rang again because of Jess's call. I didn't answer that and I cried even more. I buried my face in the pillow, my eyes were also heavy so I just forced myself to sleep instead of straining my eyes to cry.

-

Nang magising ako ay madilim na sa labas.

Kinusot ko ang mata ko at ramdam ko ang hapdi nito dahil sa pag iyak ko kanina. Tumayo ako at isinara na ang bintana bago nag ayos ng sarili. Sinuklay ko ang magulo kong buhok. Hindi na rin ako nag abala na lagyan ng kulay ang labi ko. Hinayaan ko itong putla at lumabas ng kwarto.

Walang tao sa sala kaya dumiretso ako sa kusina. Si Nanay Nelia lang ang tao roon kaya napanatag ako.

"Mam Patricia-ayos lang po kayo?" nawala ang ngiti niya ng makita ang itsura ko. "Sobrang putla po kayo"

If you're loving the book, nel5s.org is where the adventure continues. Join us for the complete experience all for free. The next chapter is eagerly waiting for you!

Tipid akong ngumiti. "Okay lang po. Kukuha lang ako ng pagkain❞

Agad niya'ng kinuha ang plato ko. "Ay, ako na po ang kukuha!"

Hindi na ako tumanggi. Umupo ako at hinintay na lang siya. Malinis na sa lamesa kaya nagtataka ako kung kumain na ba si Callum.

"Uh...kumain na ho ba si Callum?" tanong ko.

"Nag kape lang po kanina. Hinihintay nga po kayo bumaba dahil nag-aalala kung bakit hindi kayo pumasok sa school. Hindi rin kayo masyado nakain" inilapag niya sa harap ko ang pagkain. "Pagkain niyo po. Punta lang po ako sa garahe at may gagawin pa ako"

Tumango siya at mabilis umalis sa harap ko.

Kinuha ko na ang pagkain at akmang tatayo na ng may marinig akong boses.

"Mabuti naman at naisipan mong kumain"

Muntik ko ng mabitawan ang plato ng makita si Callum na nakatayo sa likuran ko at seryoso ang tingin sa'kin. My eyes widened and immediately averted my gaze.

He was only wearing a simple shorts and sando, he won't work today?

"I-I already get my food" naiilang kong sabi.

Gusto ko ng umalis pero nakaharang siya sa daan.

"You're so pale. Do you have any problem?"

Napalunok ako at biglang kinabahan. Parang nawalan ako ng sasabihin.

"Now you're tensed. Just tell me what's happening to you or we will see a doctor to consult you. You look sluggish" lumambot ang mata niya. "You already had a dark spot under your eyes and not eating on a right time"

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Ano? Napansin niya pa 'yon?

"Are you having trouble with your study? In school? Or with your p-parents?" he looks hesitant with his last word.

I sighed. "It's none of your business, okay?"

Nagkunwari akong galit para tumigil na siya mag salita pero hindi. Nagulat ako ng unti-unti siya'ng lumapit kaya agad akong umatras hanggang mapasandal ako sa sink. Nakulong niya ako sa pamamagitan ng pagharang ng braso niya sa pagitan ng baywang ko. Halos hindi na ako humihinga dahil ga-hibla na lang ang pagitan ng mukha namin. "W-What are you doing?" garalgal kong sabi.

"Shouldn't I be the one to ask you that? Are you avoiding me?" his voice was serious.

Umiwas ako ng tingin, ramdam ko na rin ang panginginig ng tuhod ko.

"I won't go to work for today. I will assist you to our personal doctor to know what's wrong with you"

Nanlaki ang mata ko at wala sa sariling naitulak siya. Nagulat siya sa ginawa ko. There's no way that he will know about my pregnancy!

"N-No! I won't go with you. I said I'm fine!"

Mabilis akong tumalikod at tumakbo pabalik sa kwarto. Rinig ko ang pag sunod niya kaya halos madapa na ako. Agad kong nilock ang pinto at hinihingal na sumandal dito. "Patricia? Don't be hard headed, please" I could hear his frustrations outside.

Hindi ko siya pinakinggan.

"Fine. I will tell it to your mom..."