Revolting

"Let me make something perfectly clear," he growled. "I do not want you, and I do not need you. You are only here in this house because my father is an old-fashioned pig-headed fool. I will marry you to fulfill the treaty contract, but you will never be the Luna, and you will never be my mate." As if to punctuate his rejection, he gave me an extra shove against the wall, and then he stalked off in the other direction... and I was left staring after him... my mouth open, my face pale, and my arm aching.

It wasn't a real rejection, right? I mean if he was formally rejecting me he would have to say the words. "I Nolan Pierceson of the Gold Mountain pack, do hereby reject you Nina..." And then I would reject him back, and the bond would break. But he hadn't said those words, exactly. Still there was a pain in my chest like something was ripping away. It was powerful enough that I had to hold my chest and gasp for breath. A few other people were trailing out of the dining room now, casting curious glances at me, and I knew I had to get upstairs before anyone started asking me questions that I couldn't answer. I was tired now, and I didn't really care who saw me limp as I dragged myself to the stairs and made my slow, painful climb up three flights. "Are you all right madam?" someone asked. I didn't even look at them, just ground out, "I'm fine." and kept climbing. Once I was at my floor, my legs were so bad I could barely walk at all. My left leg dragged, and I used the wall to balance as I made my way down the hall to my own door. Once inside I turned the lock, and fell across the bed.

"I will not cry." I chanted. "I will not cry." And I didn't. Damn Nolan Pierceson to hell, I wasn't going to shed a tear for him, nor was I going to wallow in self-pity. He didn't want me? Well I didn't want his arrogant ass either. My body wasn't strong, but when I set my mind to something, I had an iron will. And I had firmly set my mind against Nolan, and the mating bond. I would play nice until the new moon. When the marriage ceremony was completed, and all the pack alliances signed and sealed, I would reject him myself. And then what? What the hell do you do with the rest of your life?

Well, I would worry about the rest of my life another day. For today I settled for hot bath. I soaked my aching legs, and scrubbed the make-up off my face. I tried to dismiss Nolan from my thoughts, but I couldn't help but wonder what had made him hate me so much, right from the start. Was it me? Or was it the forced marriage? I mean, I know I'm not much to look at, and I've got a disability, but I don't think he even realized that yet. I hadn't even had enough time to truly piss him off yet. So what was it that had him in such a yank?

I sighed and pulled the plug out of the tub, letting the water drain down. Men were like aliens. Who could understand them anyway? And who would want to? I slipped into my pajamas and crawled into the bed, totally overwhelmed with everything my brain had had to process in just one day.

I awoke to a knock on my door. I was pretty sure I had locked it the night before, but still the handle turned and the door opened. I was expecting Daisy's smiling face, but instead it was William. "Hey," he smiled at me, and it seemed like a genuine smile this time. "Mama wanted me to come call you down for breakfast."

"Oh," I said sleepily, propping myself up on my elbows. "I guess I overslept. Give me a few minutes to get ready"

"Okay." Instead of leaving, he sprawled himself in the corner seat by the window and waited. I glared at him and wondered if it was entirely appropriate for your future brother-in-law to be making himself comfortable in your bedroom when you aren't even dressed. I thought about demanding he leave, but then changed my mind. Who cared if he saw me in my nightgown? It wasn't like I was indecent. And it wasn't like I owed his brother any kind of fidelity. I flipped back the covers and hauled my heavy body out of bed. I knew his keen eyes were seeing everything. He saw how I limped to the bathroom, and for once, I didn't care. Let him see. Let him see every god damned thing and report it back to his brother. I slammed the door to the bathroom just to punctuate my own cranky thoughts.

I turned on the water to brush my teeth and wash my face, but I heard his voice over the faucet. "So that was pretty intense last night." He was commenting. I heard the door to my closet open. What the hell, was he going through my things? "I've never seen anyone stare down my brother before." There was the definite sound of a drawer opening and closing. "This is going to be a very, very interesting marriage."

I spit out my tooth paste, and yanked the door open to find that he had set out a set of clothes for me, along with clean underwear and a bra. "What the hell are you doing in my clothes?"

"No worries, just hurrying along. You have nothing to fear from me, peanut. You aren't my type."

I narrowed my eyes, "And what exactly IS your type?"

William sighed. "Tall, dark and handsome." I stared at him, not quite comprehending. "Men, Nina. I'm gay."

"Oh." Was all I could say. Well, I suppose that probably explained his excellent fashion sense. I scooped up the clothes off the bed and retreated back into the bathroom to change. He continued to talk to me through the closed door. "Nolan didn't want to get married. Dad told him if he didn't get married, he would pass the Alpha title to his beta."

"Why his beta?" I poked my head out of the bathroom again. "Why not to you?"

William laughed, "Sweetheart, my dad seriously struggles with my sexual orientation. Mostly he just tries to ignore it. And besides, I don't want it. I don't have the constitution of an Alpha." I wondered exactly what that meant, but he didn't elaborate, and I didn't feel it was polite to ask. I did think it was pretty shitty that his father would pass him up as Alpha because of his sexuality. The fact that William was kind of the black sheep of the family made me like him a little more. "So? I didn't want to get married either. Its not like it was my idea. What's he got against me?"

"Nolan is always angry, don't take it personally. You just do you, and let him growl and snarl and spit all he wants. I'm sure he'll get over it eventually."

"Right." He'll get over it eventually. That sounded so promising, I thought sarcastically. I dragged a brush through my tangled hair and sighed. "Okay, ready. Let's go."

He held open the door for me, and I hobbled through. He held out his elbow like a gentleman, which was weird, but nice, and I took advantage of it. I waited for him to say something about my limp. But he didn't. I expected him to take me down the stairs, but instead he turned down a different corridor. "Um, where are we going?"

"There is an elevator at the end of the wing. Its private, for the Alphas to access the 4th floor. But you are marrying the future alpha, so I think you are permitted to use it." At that moment I could have kissed him. He produced a key from his pocket and handed it to me. "This is my key, but you can use it until you get your own. I can always take the stairs." You had to insert the key and turn it to call the elevator. Once the doors slid open, you removed the key and selected your floor. I breathed a sigh of relief as the elevator carried us down to the ground floor. It opened into an unfamiliar area behind the kitchens, but William led me through the maze of halls back to the dining room.

"Ah there you are!" Luna Caydence called from the table.

"I'm sorry Luna, I overslept."

"Think nothing of it dear, but I wanted to go over some details of the wedding ceremony with you."

Well, there went my appetite for breakfast. I didn't want to think about a wedding, let alone plan the details. "Your father sent over a dress," She was saying, and passed me a white box that was getting a little yellowed around the edges. I lifted the cover and felt tears burn behind my eyes.

"Oh... my mother's dress." I whispered. I touched the delicate silk and lace. That was a strangely thoughtful and sentimental gesture on my father's part. Who forces their daughter into an arranged marriage, and then sends them a precious family heirloom? But it only made me feel more sad and distraught. I had dreamed that one day I would marry my soul mate, the love of my life, and I would wear my mama's dress, which had been HER mama's dress. It seemed wrong and perverted to wear such a special garment to a farce of marriage with a man who despised me.

"Oooh, it was your mother's? How very special! Take it out dear, lets see it!"

I didn't really want to take it out of the box, but I did. It was a simple and beautiful dress, with a fitted bodice, off-the shoulder sleeves, and a long, full skirt. The bodice was decorated with lace and tiny pearls, and the same lace edged the bottom of the long skirt. I was not as pretty or shapely as my mother, but we were a similar size, and I thought the dress would fit me well enough without needing any alterations. The Luna fawned over the dress. "Its very pretty, so elegent. You will look absolutely beautiful." She said kindly. I swallowed the knot in my throat and carefully folded it back into the box. Mama would have hated all of this. She would never have let this marriage happen, especially if she got a glimpse of the black-and-blue fingerprints that Nolan had left on my arm last night.

I took a deep breath and set the box aside as breakfast arrived. I sipped my tea and listened as the Luna went over other details. Flowers and seating and ceremonial nuances. I didn't care, but I tried my best to act interested. When she asked me questions, I answered. "What is your favorite flower, dear?"

"Sunflowers." I said without hesitation.

"And your favorite color?"

"Turquoise."

She went on about bringing a stylist to do my hair and make up, and I swirled a spoon around in my yogurt. Really I just wanted this to be over. William came and sat and occasionally added his two cents to the conversation. The wedding ceremony would be on the back lawn, with seating for private guests only. The gazebo would be decorated out for the occasion. After it was all official, we would move to the pack meeting house, where we would be publicly celebrated, and Nolan would be presented as the new Alpha of the pack, and I would be presented as Luna.

I choked on my tea. Nolan had said emphatically that I would "never be Luna." But it seemed that his parents had other ideas. What was I supposed to do? "Luna, I don't think--"

The Luna gave me a hard look. "You are his wife. You will be the Luna. No matter what he says." That made me wonder if Nolan had already taken this argument to his mother. Would I still be the Luna after I rejected him? Would he divorce me once he had all his political ducks in a row? I wanted to bury my head in my hands. I gave William a pleading look, but he only shrugged back at me. So much for having an ally in the house.