Rejecting the Alpha

Vander and I spent the next week together whenever he wasn't working. I kept helping in the kitchen whenever he was busy. It was nice to contribute and Lys did everything in her power to try to make me feel welcome.

If I looked past the ache of grief, I thought I was happy, or at least as close as I could get.

I was genuinely excited when it was time for the full moon. I had been born into my first pack, forced into my second, but this third one I was choosing because I wanted to. This was a new start. This was what finding my mate should have been like. Either him or I choosing to move packs, not being swept into an enemy pack on a river of blood.

I was wearing a white dress again, a common pack practice, but this time I was given a choice of a few dresses they had on hand. The one I picked was simple with delicate embroidery flowing down the bodice, down to my knees, and unlike the one Alpha Gavriel had forced upon me, the only part that was see-through was the sleeves and the top layer of the skirts. I definitely felt less exposed, and having Vander walk me to the open field where I would be inducted into the pack certainly helped keep me from experiencing much trepidation.

Vander's hand was warm on mine, and there were muted tingles were our skin met. While I still was not completely sure what he was to me, I was getting used to the ambiguity of our relationship.

Whatever we were, I had tried to sleep on my own for three nights, before finally giving up. I still had my rooms in the pack house, but I hadn't even tried to sleep there for a few nights.

Similar to the time I had joined Stonemason, the pack was already waiting, as were the alpha and the luna. I walked to the front. There were about as many people here as had watched me become Stonemason's luna, demonstrating that Lightwood might really be a match against them.

I could trust these people. The alpha spoke, and his voice steady and reassuring.

"Kylie Leland, we're here to induct you tonight into the Lightwood pack, for today and tomorrow, and for all your days, until the day you leave us. You will be our sister, and we will be your family. We will be your support, and we ask for your loyalty in return. Do you agree?"

"I do." His words were simpler than the ancient version, but the underlying meaning was the same.

The alpha and luna both cut their palms and I did the same and then grasped hands with each of them in turn.

"And with that, Kylie, welcome to the family."

I smiled, until the cacophony of voices of the new link was established pushed it away. I was a bit shaky, and then tingles ran through my arm as Vander steadied me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and quite suddenly I thought I was.

I turned around to face him, his face clear in the moonlight, and I leaned forward, letting my appreciation of him and everything he had already done for me seep through our new link as part of the same pack.

"Yes."

This time he did not push me away and our mouths came together, slowly, but not tentatively. The alpha's chuckle pulled us out of the moment.

Vander met my eyes and smiled. Everyone was transforming all around us. We both shifted as well and I showed my submission with a lowered head to the alpha and luna. Then, joining the pack, we ran across the field, and into the forest.

It was different than my first run with the Stonemason pack. I was a part of these wolves. Was it because I was not set apart as luna here? Or was it deeper, because this pack was not my enemy? Or because I had joined willingly, without reservations?

Or was it because of Vander?

I glanced surreptitiously at his wolf as he ran along beside me. His fur was mostly dark grey, slightly mottled with brown and black. He was large, and obviously powerful, as he held the position of delta. My wolf's pleasure buzzed at the fine specimen who was our mate.

After a while, the pack had finished hunting and running and we slowed, more playful and lazy at this point now that the first rush of freedom had worn off our wolves. Many members had peeled off to do their own thing somewhere along the way, and we were down to a mere handful of the earlier group around us.

Vander stayed with me, and my wolf was full of energy, maybe because I felt so light now that I was a part of something again. I—or rather my wolf, who had much control on this night—pounced on him. His golden eyes smiled at me, and my wolfish grin was answer enough.

After I pestered him for a while, with him patiently ignoring me, I gave up, and flopped down on the ground beside him. He let out a low sound that came across almost as a chuckle. I lightly kicked at him with my paw in reprimand.

He responded by setting his paw on mine, then he closed his eyes to nap.

I did the same, and soon sleep carried me away as well.

With the dawn came movement and I stirred from my sleep as a couple of wolves padded past us, shaking their fur to dislodge the dirt matted in from sleep. I stretched my wolf form and yawned. My wolf, while always present, had retreated from the forefront of my mind. She felt content, extremely happy with everything that had occurred the previous night.

I had made the right choice in joining. I only hoped that nothing would happen to make me regret it. Tendrils of fear began to wind their way through me. Having something again meant I could lose it all.

"You okay?" Vander asked in my mind. His eyes were still shut.

Had I been leaking emotion to him through the pack bond? "Yeah. Just worrying."

"You don't need to. Lightwood can handle Stonemason."

"I hope you're right."

"He's not going to find you here either way. And if he does..."

"If he does, what?"

Vander was quiet for a long moment. He opened his eyes and met mine with his golden expression. "I don't want to upset you."

"I want to know what you're thinking."

He huffed. "I'll kill him."

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't. Don't you trust me?"

"I do, but he's an alpha."

"And I'm a delta of a strong pack. There's not that much difference between the two."

I tried not to let my disbelief out, but apparently he could sense it, because he added, "Do you need a demonstration of just what I can do?"

I was glad I was in my wolf form because his suggestive tone would have made me blush as a human. The way we had kissed for that moment the previous night wandered through my mind and did not make the situation any better, since I definitely wanted more of that.

The rational part of my mind wasn't sure I was entirely ready to go further, but my wolf was quite enthusiastic at the idea.

"Well, I am a bit curious." I was absolutely playing with fire and enjoying it.

He grinned with his wolf maw as he got to his feet and shook himself. "Well, this might not be the time for that, but I promise you'll see soon enough."

That sounded...intriguing. I got up as well and stretched again. I could feel stray leaves in my fur so I shook them out. We started walking in the direction of the field where we had begun our run last night. There were clothes scattered around abandoned, but we found our own easily enough. Instead of shifting there, I delicately picked the dress up in my maw and hid in the trees to change.

Vander was waiting for me, fully dressed but slightly dishevelled when I emerged. He grinned at me, as if he was overjoyed to see me. When I got close, he stepped towards me, and I walked straight into his arms.

It felt good, and heat flooded into me when he tilted my face up towards his.