Rejecting the Alpha

Kylie

I was as ready for him as I could be when he came for me for supper. I was dressed in an outfit Marie had provided, a fairly conservative knee-length skirt and a blouse with minimal cleavage. I didn't really care what I wore, because I had other things on my mind.

Other things, like how I was going to get the remainder of my people out of the prison. As long as he had them to hold over my head, he would have leverage over me.

When he opened the door I was waiting. He nodded to me and went directly into the washroom. I heard the shower turn on and a few minutes later he emerged. He dropped the towel and I turned my face away from those rugged muscles I had felt on top of me the night before.

My face heated along with other parts of my body. I cursed our mate bond.

"We don't have time for that now," he said.

The fact he could tell only made my face even hotter. I likely looked like a strawberry, but fortunately he wasn't looking in my direction since he was getting dressed. A few minutes later he was ready, and I was leaving the house for the first time since he had brought me inside.

The gathering hall was unsurprisingly large, and already full of people. Instead of focusing on the overwhelming crowd, I looked at the hall itself. It was decorated with a nature theme, bouquets of sticks and flowers scattered around on the tables, and simple white lights adorning the ceiling. I followed Alpha Gavriel to the head table, and I sat down.

I could practically feel the gazes of the pack burrowing into me and I tried not to shrink back. Being in this position at home would not have been bad, surrounded by the pack I loved.

Here, I was more isolated than ever. I tried to hold back tears and steady my mental shields against him because I could not stop my thoughts.

Some of the wolves here had been the ones to kill my mom and dad and my brothers. Andrea's parents. And I had not seen her brother in the cells so he was as likely as not also dead. My alpha. My luna. Their son, the boy who was once to have been my future alpha. Their young daughter. I hadn't spotted Rodney, Malcolm, Jane, or Anastasia, friends who I had grown up with amongst the all trapped survivors either, nor most of their parents or siblings.

The list could go on and on.

Maybe a few of them had escaped, or I had missed seeing them, but most likely they were dead.

Killed on the orders of the man beside me, the man who had taken my body the previous night. And deep down, I had enjoyed it, hadn't I?

The thought sickened me. I hated myself. This was pulling me into two pieces, I had to get away.

I studied the pack in front of me, wondering which ones were murderers and which ones only supported and loved the perpetrators of that recent murder. A few tears escaped and I couldn't stop them. How could they sit here looking happy after that?

Even if my alpha had been doing something that made attacking our pack necessary, the slaughter that ensued had been beyond justifiable. His pack had killed innocent people on his orders.

I swallowed and glanced at him, keeping my shields firmly in place. He seemed unaware of me, which was good. My conflict seemed to confuse him and my escape would be impossible if I did not manage to lull him into a sense of complacency.

Alpha Gavriel stood up and spoke, his gravelly voice enthralling to my ears. "I called you all here tonight for a very specific purpose. Meet my mate, Kylie Leland. She'll be inducted into Stonemason this week on the next full moon."

There were a number of excited murmurs throughout the room. I supposed that they thought that this occasion was something to be celebrated. Supper went by painfully slowly. Their gazes were nearly tactile upon me, and I didn't want to meet any of them, because I was afraid they would read the accusation clearly in my eyes.

After the meal was completed was worse, because a number of people came up to speak to me and introduce themselves. I pasted on a friendly smile that felt disconnected. I had trouble remembering the sheer number of people who spoke to me.

One name amongst the number stood out to me, however. Levenia's name was already burned into my brain. She was black haired and beautiful, and her appearance was surprisingly understated considering how garish she had been in my imagination, although her clothing was certainly intended to evoke attraction. I was not certain if I was imagining the hostility underneath her polished expression or not.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Luna," she said.

"The pleasure's all mine," I lied.

"Are you enjoying your time here?" Her face showed no sign that she was upset that I had replaced her as the outlet for the alpha's physical needs.

"I am." I was not sure that I could maintain my bold-faced lies to her much longer, so I was relieved when she walked away with a respectful nod I could not find fault with although I definitely wanted to.

I disliked her, and I was certain it was based solely in mate bond jealousy, even though deep down I still hated him for everything that he had done.

It was frustrating. I wanted to do nothing but leave, except that I was being pulled towards him, that constant drag of the bond connecting us. Something that should have brought two people together in love, but instead was warped by what he was, or maybe by what he was not.

It was a relief when I was finally allowed to go back to the alpha's room, but even that was a cold comfort, because I could imagine what he was going to want from me again. I was not surprised when his hands wrapped around my waist from behind, and I did not even try to fight it as they moved higher, under my shirt and grasped my breasts through my bra while bringing his mouth down on my neck. Flickers of heat wandered downwards and a moan escaped my lips.

I hated him and would probably hate myself later, but it was like his hands were made for my body or maybe my body was made for his hands. He was, after all, my mate, whether that was a good thing or not.

There was no point in resisting, so I went to the bed without protest and let him do what he wanted, and I even liked it, crying out when he sank his fingers into me, and then louder when he replaced them with his hard length, filling me to my centre. My eyes firmly shut, I imagined what this would be like if he were a man who loved me, a man who had not killed everyone I loved.

When he was done I hurried to the washroom, and then I gingerly made my way back out to the bed. I ignored him as he took his turn, and I was pretending to sleep by the time he got out. Maybe he knew I was faking, but he did not disturb me nonetheless.

I fell asleep long after his breathing had slowed.

Not a lot happened during the next few days. I kept to his room, both willingly and because I was still locked in, and I spent my time trying to calm my writhing feelings. I had to convince him he could trust me.

Every night he came home and we ate supper together, as uncomfortable as it had been the first night. Then, we retired to his room, and he brought my body great pleasure and my mind and heart great pain.

The night before the full moon, I could feel it pulling on me as if always did. We could shift at will, but it was difficult not to be in our wolf forms when the moon reached its zenith. He seemed distracted during supper and then we went to his room. Like every night since the first he took me, filling me with his seed. I wondered if he would be less dedicated to his task once I was pregnant. I prayed I would be gone from here before my heat came and the chance to get pregnant skyrocketed.

I lay in the bed afterwards. "Alpha Gavriel?" I asked him, wondering if he was asleep.

He opened his eyes and looked at me. He did not look surprised, but surely he knew that I never spoke to him unless I needed to, and never after he had possessed my body.

"I want you to let what's left of my people out of your prison."

"No."

"Please. Just let them leave and look for a new pack, or live life as rogues. Don't keep them locked up there forever. Please." I doubted he would be moved by my pleas, but it was worth a shot.

He frowned. "It would be foolish to let enemies go and become future threats."

"Then let them join your pack. They didn't do anything to you."

He frowned, those navy eyes inspecting me. "You're wrong about that."

"What do you think we did?"

"Conspired with vampires."

Surprise filled me. "Vampires? That's not true."

"It is."

"I've never seen a vampire in my life," I protested.

"Your former alpha did."

"Even if my former alpha did, why did you kill so many people? No one knew about it if he did what you said."

"They fought against us."

"They didn't deserve to die! They were following orders."

He closed his eyes again. "I only did what was necessary for the safety of my pack. Vampires are a threat that cannot be ignored. They haven’t forgiven or forgotten the wars and wolves are foolish if they do otherwise."

Tears spilled into my eyes again. "I don't know how I'm not supposed to hate you."

"Don't."

"You don't understand."

"Maybe not, but the past can't be changed."

I was weary of pretending. More tears came out in a rush. I missed my parents and everyone so much. He had stolen my security and comfort, and everything else.

"Don't cry."

"Do you think I want to?" I asked him, tears not stopping no matter how hard I tried to hold them back.

"Stop. Your feelings are scratching at my mind again. You're agitating my wolf."

I tried to hold up my mental shields even though I could not stop the tears. "Is that better?"

"Somewhat."

I laughed harshly. "Well, as long as you're feeling better, I guess everything is just wonderful."

"Enough sarcasm."

"Why didn't you just kill me?"

"I've already told you, you're my mate."

"I wish I were dead."

"You're not allowed to die. I need you."

"I don't want you."

He moved and I stiffened, waiting for whatever he would inflict on me for my outburst.

His hands wrapped around me and caged me in and the contact between us did comfort me, even if though I did not really want it to. It was the wretched bond playing with my kind. My tears began to dry up.

"When I was young I had hoped my mate was someone in my pack, because that would have been convenient. I did not want to find you in an enemy pack. I did not want these complications."

I bit back a snarky comment about how difficult I was sure it was for him. "I didn't want these complications either. And if you don't let them go, I'm never going to forgive you, Alpha. You'll never be able to trust me, because I will always be your enemy. But if you give me this one thing I've asked, maybe I can try to get past all the reasons I hate you. Maybe I could try to become the luna that your pack needs."

He did not respond, and his breathing grew deeper as he fell asleep.