Refusing my Alpha mate

Arthur

It hurt me to do this, but it was necessary.

I couldn't lose focus, in my first meeting as Alpha, and together our thoughts and feelings got mixed up, and I completely lost control when she remembered us, when she fantasized about the two of us.

My real desire was to send everyone away and take her to bed, relive every memory, and make every fantasy come true. But when it came to Clair, I knew that not everything worked out the way I wanted.

She closed her mind to me after that, sometimes she would escape some thought or some emotion, but she controlled herself after my warning, and I managed to finish the meeting without any problems.

Danna later appeared in the corner of the room, I had left her in my legal department, but she appeared after the meeting was over.

"So, did you think about my proposal?" I asked, getting up and taking her hand, bringing her to the middle of my friends, now partners, Alphas. And Clair's jealousy escaped from the prison she put her thoughts and feelings in, and I felt her boiling inside.

"I accept," Danna said loudly, and I hugged her and twirled her in the air before dropping her to the ground and holding her by the shoulders as I stared into those sweet brown eyes.

"Alpha friends, I present to you..." I projected my voice into the room, but at that moment the feeling that was in my chest was pure and genuine, despair, and I didn't know why, and my eyes went to her, straight up to her, and I saw Clair so red that her face was the color of her hair, her eyes completely full of tears, and she was on the verge of collapse, when I caught a thought loose and loud inside her head: He's going to change me. "My new head of legal." My last words came out low and hoarse, my eyes never left hers, and no matter how much the other Alphas screamed and cheered, Clair just rested her hands on her knees as I felt her being washed with relief and sadness, I saw tears run down her face her. And I sighed, I never wanted to put her through that, but...

I saw her swallow hard, she composed herself and wiped her tears with the back of her hands before walking towards me.

"I'm sorry Arthur I need to go." She said walking past me, without greeting anyone, just leaving the room.

My eyes still caught Tommy looking at me with wide eyes, and I was quick to turn around holding her arm.

"Clair, you don't have to go," I said softly, almost whispering, keeping her still, holding her arm in place.

When her eyes reached me, she cried uncontrollably, and I was scared by her reaction.

"I can't stay here." She said the same sentence I said to David, and then I understood, I sighed, closing my eyes as I let her go.

There I realized how bad we were doing to each other, and even without meaning to, we kept hurting each other again and again, and I needed to do something to stop it.

I watched her walk out the door, and then my eyes went to Hank and Tyler who were standing guard at the door.

"Tyler, make sure she gets home okay, and Hank, go to Monica's room and call David, tell him that Clair is gone and that she needs him." My guards followed my orders and I sighed, still facing away, took two more breaths, adjusted my blazer, and turned around with a smile on my face.

"Let's celebrate," I said going to prepare a glass.

"What was this?" Danna asked me when I returned with a glass of whiskey in my hands.

"Long story, I'll tell you everything later," I replied as she also helped herself.

"Here's to my leadership, and here's to the new legal team," I said raising my glass and all the Alphas followed me.

We spent the night drinking and celebrating, and I only started my shift the following afternoon, I assigned Danna to accompany Howard, who was the former head of legal and was retiring, and I already started the paperwork to place her in the position.

Danna was my best friend at law school, her brain fascinated me, it was as if we completed each other in every sentence, in every work, in every presentation. And there I saw a unique opportunity for her to help me with the legal side of the Pack.

That night, I barely slept, I even had a nightmare about Clair being poisoned with silver once again, I woke up scared, but I couldn't go there, and check on her, I couldn't do that to us, it would be another wound on top of what is already broken. I thought about sending a guard there, I went downstairs and came across David saying goodbye to Mônica at the front door.

"What are you doing?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

"David is leaving, he came to see me at night and ended up taking a nap here," Monica said giving her mate one last hug.

"But why doesn't he sleep here?" I asked, still not understanding. "You can go home early tomorrow."

"I have a meeting early, and I prefer to wake up there now. And the Pack's spirits are too exhausted for the head of the guard to be away." He said, running his hands over the back of his head.

"David," I called out to him and he raised his eyes to look at me. "I just had another nightmare about Clair, but I can't go there again." I sighed, every cell in my body wanted to run out, take her in my arms, and make sure she was okay. "Would you please check to see if she's really okay?" I asked him, almost a plea.

"Definitely Arthur, I'll wake her up if I have to to make sure she's okay," David said, and there was compassion in his words. "Although she hasn't slept much lately, she might even be awake."

"Thank you. But why? Did something happen?" I needed to ask.

"Not exactly, I think it's a mix of worry about the ambush and the investigations, and you." He told you with a low tone of voice, almost confessing. "It's not easy for her either." He said turning to leave. "But I'll go directly to see her when I arrive, don't worry."

David gave Monica a kiss and walked out the door.

"Tea, Alpha?" She asked me as soon as the door closed.

"I accept, thank you," I said heading towards the kitchen. "But we need to talk. I know what you're doing."

Monica was also heading towards the kitchen, stopped, and turned to me with wide eyes.

"Doing what?" She asked me as if she was confused, but I saw deep in her eyes that no, she knew what I was going to say.

"You're not living with David yet, you're moving from one Pack to another, and I know why. Don't tell me it's convenient because I know the feeling of mating and not sleeping with your mate every night. It's desperate, but you keep making him come here because you are afraid of giving up your future position. You know that he will not give up his position as head of the guard, that is, he would not be my Beta. Therefore, you would need to give up a role that you were created your whole life to perform, and more than that, you feel like you would be letting me down and disappointing me." I didn't even finish speaking and tears were running freely down her face. "But Mo, you would never disappoint me, I love you, and that will never change, whether you are my Beta or not."

At that moment Monica sank into my embrace, I felt her sobs over my embrace, and my t-shirt getting wet from her tears, but I didn't care.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to be like this." She said trying to apologize.

"You don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong, things just didn't turn out how you thought they would," I said and she slowly let go of my hug.

"Wouldn't you be mad at me?" She asked, still sobbing.

"Never," I responded as quickly as I could.

"But I was afraid of disappointing you, you apparently won't have a Luna anymore, and still be left without me as your Beta, I…" She began to speak, wiping the tears from her eyes, and sighing. "But who would be your Betas?"

"I still have your parents, I spoke to them this week, and they told me that they intend to stay for at least another 5 years, so I have until then to structure myself," I said, wiping away another tear that escaped her eyes.

Monica hugged me again and then turned to make me some tea.

"You said you know what it's like to mate and sleep apart, don't tell me Clair isn't a virgin anymore?" Monica asked and I just ran my hands through my hair.

"It ended up happening in the cabin when we thought we weren't going to get out of there alive," I said with a sigh. "But today I see that it was a mistake."

"I don't know, she practically boiled when you hugged Danna," Monica said with a shrug. "She was consumed with jealousy."

"Jealousy is of no use to me if she still wants my rejection," I said, feeling the pain that this made a lot of sense, there's no point in her showing how much she likes me if she still wants my rejection.

I drank the tea and then went to bed, and as much as it pained me to say, my sleep wasn't the same without Clair, it was as if I couldn't switch off, as if I couldn't find peace apart from her.

The other day was hectic, and as much as I loved Danna finding out about everything, she still came into my office every 30 minutes to ask something, and ended up delaying my shift, it was already past 8 p.m. and I continued arranging documents.

Suddenly I heard screams, they got louder and were coming from the House of Pack Living, which is very close to my office, and suddenly I heard Clair scream, my wolf screamed inside, and I practically ran to the room to find Clair in tears, completely red and out of control, screaming at David.

"You must have something to do with this. How could you?" She screamed in pain and despair.

"I don't know what you're talking about. But how can you suspect me?" He shouted back and took two steps towards her.

"Your guards were involved. Either you're a traitor too, or you're a terrible boss." She shouted back, pointing is his face, and they were very close to each other.

"In addition to being a traitor, you accuse me of being incompetent?" David shouted back and now he grabbed her wrist, he squeezed, and there I lost control.

"Let go of her, now." My voice came out louder, more intense and hoarse than I was expecting, it was more than an order, it was a sentence. David immediately let go of Clair's wrist, and they both looked at me. I regained some control as I continued, "You may be the head guard in your Pack, but here I am the Alpha, and you are nothing more than a visitor. I respect you, for Monica, but if you lay a finger on Clair again I'll kick you out of here myself." My voice was now firm.

David took another step back, and Monica hung onto his neck.

"Are you okay?" I asked Clair, but she was still crying, she just nodded and hugged me, she put herself in my hug, and I hesitated for a few seconds, before wrapping my arms around her too.

"I can't believe you're on her side?" The voice was Monica's, I sighed knowing that she was just buying into her mate's pain and fight.

"I'm not on anyone's side. I just saw two out-of-control friends verbally attacking each other, over something that neither of them is sure happened. And continuing that wouldn't lead to anything." I replied, and I saw David's expression fall, he saw that I was right. "Tomorrow you will talk, with your temper more controlled," I said and David tilted his head still suspicious. "That's not a suggestion." He exhaled heavily from his lungs and nodded, as he turned towards Monica's room.

And I felt Clair's sobs gradually lessen until I was able to hold her by the arms and move away slightly, and find her red, crying face.

"Come on, let's go to my office," I said hugging her from the side and taking her to my office.