Rebellion (Risen Series Bk1)

 Chapter 16: Mind Games

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I knew I was dreaming, it was an odd sensation, but even the knowledge that none of this was real didn't stop my fear. This was a room I tried my best never to think about and I couldn't understand why it had taken shape in my dream.

At least I wasn't chained to the walls, bound and naked like I had been in real life. My blood stained the stone walls, I could smell my scent everywhere. The drip of water coming from the roof and the smell of damp was something that still haunted me.

"I thought it would be harder to get into your mind."

Spinning, pressing myself against the wall, I bared my fangs at the shimmering image of Airell. He was as beautiful as ever, his cat like green eyes piercing in the dark and his hair left to fall down to his shoulders. If it wasn’t for the cruel twist to his lips, one might have thought him an angel.

It's just a dream, I reminded myself.

Squeezing my eyes shut, my hands covered my eyes, "Wake up."

Airell chuckled, the echo of his footsteps reaching my ears even as I mumbled for myself repeatedly to wake. A sharp blow to my stomach had me doubling over and unable to breath, my eyes brimming with tears.

Fingers tangled in my hair, yanking my head back so I was forced to see Airell's face. He was smirking, the finger of his free hand stroking along my cheek and down my neck. I shivered at his touch, bile rising until I was almost gagging.

"He won't keep you from me. He can't keep you safe. Can't you see that he's just using you, little bird? Come home to us." Airell spoke sweetly, the magic of the maker’s bond wrapping around me, trying to lull me into its grasp, “Tell me where you are, let me come to take you home.”

For a moment it worked, for a moment my body relaxed and fell into his touch until something stronger pulled me back to my senses. He'd sensed it, the soft features of his face hardening. His grip tightened painfully in my hair, the force of his rage red hot. I knew that look and I struggled to break free, my mind screaming with panic. I knew what he doled out when something sparked his anger.

"How has he done that?" Airell muttered to himself, his eyes searching until they fell to my neck.

A growl of fury roared from him and my head connected with the hard stone floor as he threw me back. I kicked up as his body came down on mine, but he pushed it away easily. The only thing left to do was give in, fighting would only cause me more pain. Yet something had me wanting to fight and I struggled beneath him until he easily pinned me to the ground.

The scream that left me as Airell's fangs pierced my neck tore at my throat, my veins turning to fire as he fed, his fangs tearing roughly at my skin so that blood flowed freely down my neck, pooling on the floor. This was all too real, every atom of my being felt what he was forcing from me but still I wriggled and bucked, unwilling to let him take freely what I had fought to gain back. His fangs sunk deeper still, piercing my artery and I sunk into darkness once more.

My eyes flew open and it was blue eyes instead of green that stared down at me with worry. Atanas' hand cupped my cheek and I flinched away, pushing myself further away from him on instinct. My body was reeling and my neck burned as if it had actually felt the touch of Airell's fangs. I didn't realise I was crying until a hot tear fell onto my arm.

"It was only a dream, Shylah." Atanas soothed, letting me have my space, "Take a deep breath."

Pushing myself up to sit against the headboard, I took the duvet with me to cover my body. Just as I'd managed to calm down a little, Atanas' fast movement had me tensing up again. He gripped my chin, twisting my head to the side and I whimpered, squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for him to attack like Airell had.

When I looked at him again, the anger I saw in his features shook me to my core. My heart missed a beat as my hand lifted to where his eyes were glued to and a sob left my lips as my fingers brushed against the jagged wounds that marred my neck.

"He was here." I wailed, "Airell was here."

"He wasn't here, Libertas Mea. It's only you and I, you're safe with me." He comforted, his thumb stroking over the bite.

I could hear the worry in his tone despite his words and he continued to study my neck. Suddenly he jumped off the bed and began pulling his jeans on and I panicked. My eyes flicked to the window and then the door, to every place that Airell could burst from at any second.

"Where are you going?"

"We're going to see Anna." He replied, picking up his shirt.

"Why? Atanas, he was in my dream. He attacked me and now..." My fingers pressed against the slowly healing wounds, "How?"

Panic flared again and the air became thick, making it harder to breathe. Somehow, Airell had managed to get inside my head, he'd managed to leave scars on my skin again. Was I not safe even so far away from him?

Atanas hushed me softly, crouching in front of me, "We're going to find out but however he managed it, it won't happen again, I promise."

I nodded, letting him tug me off the bed. My legs trembled beneath me and I almost let the tears fall again. Atanas and I had shared something beautiful only hours ago and it was now tainted by Airell. I didn't want to put the dress back on but running naked to my room to grab clothes wasn't something I wanted to do either. Pulling the dress on dejectedly, feeling far too exposed, I gave Atanas a nod to say that I was ready.

He grabbed my hand and squeezed, offering me a little piece of comfort before letting him lead me through the halls towards Padraig's room. My hands flew to cover my eyes as Atanas swung the door open to reveal a very naked Anna on top of a very happy looking Padraig.

"You better have a good reason," Padraig grumbled, eyeing us both until he saw the mess of my neck.

He sat up and Anna slid from the bed to pull on a shirt, her cheeks flushed a bright red.

"What the hell happened?" He yelled, jumping to his feet and over to me, his fingers tilting my chin to the side so he could study the bite.

Padraig looked a little warily at Atanas who growled, "I didn't do this to her."

"Then who did?"

"Airell," I whispered, my voice trembling, "he was in my dream and he attacked me, when I woke up it was there."

"He created a link?" Anna asked, frowning as she walked towards me.

I shrugged, "He said he thought it would be harder to get inside my head, I don't know how he did it."

And now I was terrified because what would stop him from doing it again? I swallowed, wrapping my arms around myself. It was a violation worse than any I'd had before. He could beat me and force himself on me but to get inside my head? I shivered.

"I can find out how he did it, and I think I can manage to stop him from being able to do it again," Anna said as she grabbed my hand and led me to the bed to sit down.

My nose scrunched as I sat and I had to push the image of Padraig and Anna being intimate out of my mind. Atanas leaned against the wall across from me, his worried gaze never straying from me even as Padraig whispered something to him.

Keeping my hand in hers, Anna tightened her grip and closed her eyes.

I flinched as magic forced its way into me and instinctively I tried to pull away but her grip remained firm. Atanas moved to crouch by my side, his hand rubbing my leg.

"Relax, Libertas Mea. Anna won't hurt you, just close your eyes,” he murmured soothingly.

Relaxing was hard to do with the heat of Atanas' skin against mine but it did make me feel safer. Closing my eyes as he suggested, I let Anna do what she needed. Her power felt like a pressure in the back of my mind, I could almost feel it's tendrils like silky fingers on my skin.

The intensity grew until the pressure was almost painful. My free hand flew down to grab Atanas' and my nails dug into him but he didn't seem to care. I groaned, my face scrunching and suddenly something snapped. It resonated through my entire body and soul, like something had been torn apart. My breath caught in my throat, but the relief was immediate.

Slowly, I opened my eyes again and frowned as Anna swayed where she sat. Padraig was quickly by her side with a glass of water that she took a grateful sip from.

"The tether was magic but I think whatever witch did this used the maker’s bond between you both as a base. I can't break the maker’s bond but he won't be able to slip into your dreams again." She promised, giving my hand another comforting squeeze.

"Thank you, Anna," I murmured, unconvinced that Airell wouldn’t find another way to torture me.

Atanas stood, pulling me up with him. His arm slipped tight around my waist as if scared to let go but I didn't complain. Having his hard body next to mine was comforting, even if the looks Anna and Padraig shared were smug.

"Zena and I can create more wards around the house in the evening, just in case he tries again. His witch might be stronger than me but Zena is one of the most powerful out there. Nothing will get past her wards, even if they tracked us down physically they'd struggle to get in."

I knew she was trying to comfort me, to make me feel safe but I wasn't entirely sure that anything could keep Airell at bay. That thought had my stomach twisting and I pressed myself even closer to Atanas.

"You won't have to worry about Airell or any other once we have regained control. We'll set everything right, and we can make sure nobody suffers like you and the others the council have turned ever again," Atanas said, his voice sure.

I nodded, feeling far less confident than everyone else seemed to be. Padraig and Anna shared a grin before bidding us goodnight again and exhaustion had my body slumping.

Gently, Atanas began to lead me back to his room but not before he called for Padraig and Anna to try and keep it down so he could sleep.

"Are they really going to have sex after this?" I blurted out, a little shocked.

He laughed, giving me a smirk, "Nothing will stop those two from taking what they want from each other before they go to sleep."

The loud cry of pleasure that came from their room as I followed Atanas into his was proof of that. It made me cringe to think that only a few hours ago, it had been my shouts echoing through the halls. How would I face everyone when the sun fell? My eyes flicked up to where Atanas was tugging the duvet back.

I felt awkward standing in the middle of his room. I didn't know what to say or do, I didn't know if he wanted me to join him in bed again or go back to my own, I didn't know if sex was all he wanted or if he wanted me. It hurt to think that I'd given in so easily to him, and it would hurt even more if he turned me away having gotten what he wanted.

The man himself stepped closer to me and gripped the hem of the dress I was wearing, pulling it slowly up. My body tensed. After the memories Airell had brought up I was feeling skittish once again. He did nothing but let his eyes trail over me once he'd bared my body to him. My heart fluttered nervously; nobody had ever looked at me like this before, with more than simple hunger in their eyes, but maybe tomorrow he would have sated his desire for me and I would be cast aside.

I wouldn’t lie and say it wouldn’t hurt me if he did decide he’d had all he wanted to take from me, but I would be forever grateful for the little piece of himself he’d shown me.

Atanas shrugged off his own clothes then pulled me flush against him. My breasts pressed against his chest and one of his hands fell down to grab my rear while the other tangled in my hair.

"I can practically hear you overthinking so I hope that this gives you some sort of answer," he whispered huskily, leaning down.

I tilted my chin up to meet the kiss I knew was coming, my arms winding around his neck. This one wasn't as fierce, while it still held a roughness to it, it was slower, more passionate. I melted into him, all my worries drifting away as his tongue invaded my mouth. He gave my lip a small nip before he pulled back, his eyes burning into mine.

"I want to keep you by my side for as long as you want to be there, Libertas Mea," he assured me, his fingers grazing down my neck and over my shoulder.

My eyes fluttered shut of their own accord and a trail of fire followed his touch. I almost sighed at the feeling that drowned out any lingering anxiety.

"Why?" I whispered.

It didn't make sense to me. Atanas had been a king, he had bedded queens and princesses, powerful beings and the most beautiful of women. I was damaged, unreliable, unpredictable, broken. He let out a heavy breath and rested his forehead against mine, his eyes closing.

"Haven't you figured it out yet, Shylah?" He breathed.

"Figured what out?" I asked, watching my fingers trace the lines of muscles on his abdomen before daring to look up.

Deep ocean blue eyes flicked open again, entrancing me, "That I love you."

Everything stopped with his declaration. The truth was blazing in his eyes and I struggled through a muddle of emotions and answers to what he had said, nothing I came up with seeming quite right. It was the pain in his truth that confused me. This wasn't him telling me that he wanted to be my mate and live as my other half, it felt more like his falling for me had been agonising for him as he fought against it.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, only to have my body shaken as he laughed.

"Only you could reply to my admission of feelings for you with ‘I'm sorry," he chuckled, cupping my face to trace his thumb over my cheekbone.

I frowned up at him, "You don't want to love me, I know you don't, it's in your voice. You hate yourself for it."

His eyes widened and he was quickly shaking his head, pulling me closer to him again. I wanted to push away but I had no energy. I didn't want the man I had begun to care about hate himself for feeling the same. That would be a fate worse than landing back in the hands of Airell.

"No Shylah, it's not what you think. I hate that my feelings for you could put you in danger, but I don't hate myself because I love you. You think so little of yourself but I see that blazing fire you have inside you, and I see your beauty even if you don't, scars and all,” he explained, his teeth nipping my jaw, “I love you, and I will do everything in my power to make sure that means you’re safe forever.”

I was in awe of him now, of this powerful vampire, the king that fell for the creation of his enemy. My heart swelled with a warmth I hadn’t felt in centuries and no words were good enough to explain how much his admission meant to me. But words weren’t needed as I kissed him again, pouring everything I felt into that simple action. He kissed me back with equal fervour and we fell onto the bed. Instincts guided me as I nipped my way down his throat until I found the spot I wanted, and the tip of Atanas' head was all the permission I needed.

His blood hit my tongue and I moaned at the taste of it which was tinged with the spice of desire. For once, I took what I wanted from him as I lowered my body to take his length, shuddering at the divine feeling of him stretching me. For the second time, Atanas and I lost ourselves to each others bodies, teasing and fulfilling every craving until we lay panting and sweating side by side.

His eyes were closed, his breathing evening out and I wondered if he’d fallen asleep.

My fingers brushed against the mark I had left on Atanas' neck, one that wouldn’t fade if he had marked me back. He had been going to, his fangs had teased the sensitive spot on my neck but something had made him hold back. My permission, that was what he’d been waiting for, but I’d been so lost to the throes of pleasure, words were long gone from me.

He had whispered promises instead, declarations of love and devotion, a vow that one day his mark would rest on my neck if I so wished it.

Replaying his words over and over again in my head, I could almost have laughed from the joy that filled me.

Haven’t you figured it out yet...that I love you.

Atanas loved me.

A small smile tugged at my lips and ever so slowly I turned around. I rested my head on his chest, smiling a little wider when his arms wrapped securely around me. Falling asleep to the sound of his heart beating, I was soothed into a dreamless sleep by the steady rise and fall of his chest.