SWNOVELS Chapter 15 ~ How It's Meant To Be
Sexual Content Warning
Chapter 15: How It's Meant To Be
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"Where are we going?" I asked, trying to keep up with Atanas' large steps as he lead me through winding corridors
"To find out if you really can kick my ass. I need to know you can defend yourself so Padraig has moved his collection of junk to the side so we have the hall to spar in." He explained, pushing through massive double doors.
The room was cluttered with everything from yet more mirrors to ancient vases, paintings, tables and Greek statues. Half of the large ballroom style hall was cleared, but there was still enough stuff that I worried we might indeed break something.
"Wow." I mumbled, studying a dusty painting depicting a blonde woman in a sapphire blue renaissance dress.
Atanas brushed me to the side, picking up and turning the painting around. I quirked a brow at him.
"No distractions. This is important."
I sighed, turning to face him, "I'm dressed entirely wrong for a fight, can I at least go change?"
Atanas eyed the dress I was in and shook his head, "You never know when you're going to have to fight, you won't always have the pleasure of appropriate clothing."
His stance was entirely relaxed, hands folded neatly behind his back while I widened my stance a little. I relied entirely on vampire instinct when attacked, but Atanas had centuries of learning the art of a fight, not that I thought he'd ever really hurt me. My biggest fear right now was the skirt of my dress flying up as we sparred. The thought sent a flush of embarrassment through me.
The slightest of movement from Atanas drew my attention back to our current activity. I barely blinked and his body was a blur as he came for me. Twisting my body out of the way at the last second, I felt a small gust of air against my skin as he passed by me. A nod of approval from him before he was grinning, his only warning before his fist was flying towards me. I grunted at the hit to my gut that made me stumble back, doubled over and gagging.
Atanas wasn't holding back after all.
"So what is it you wanted to speak to me about? Anna made it sound important." He said, watching as I straightened up painfully.
"Nothing important." I answered hoarsely, allowing annoyance to fill and fuel me.
Why was he bringing that up now of all times? It wasn't like our play fight would distract me enough to loosen my lips.
I launched myself forward, aiming a hit for the side of his head but all I met was air. I could hear his heartbeat to my left and kicked out but he'd seen it coming and grabbed my foot. I hopped, struggling to yank my leg away from him.
"I have an inkling of what it may be about so you might as well ask whatever it is you want to know." He chuckled, releasing me.
Glaring, I pressed my lips together defiantly. The cocky grin never left his face though, he wasn't giving up so easily.
A kick to my hip had me stepping back, but I managed to avoid the punch that followed. My jaw clenched, emotions getting the better as I acted out in a flurry of attacks that Atanas swatted away without breaking a sweat.
"Do you want to know what you were doing last night? What I was doing as I listened to you scream?" He baited, gripping my arm and twisting so I was stuck pressed against his chest.
Every time I moved it strained my shoulder, causing a sharp pain to shoot down my arm. I hissed in irritation.
"Shut up." I grit out, bringing the heel of my boot down on his shin before elbowing his stomach.
Atanas grunted, his grip loosening only slightly. I could have easily torn out of his hold, risking the popping off my shoulder, but I didn't want him to see how desperate I was to get away from him. His breath fanned over my neck, making me shiver in delight. My eyes fluttered shut as I lost myself to the feel of his hard body, his intoxicating scent wrapping around me.
"If I'd been braver last night, I would have shown you myself. I'd have taught you that sex isn't something to be afraid of." He murmured huskily by my ear before releasing me, "You're not watching me. You're waiting for me to make a move, you need to think ahead, you need to see what your opponent's body is telling you and get there first."
He might as well have slapped me for all I was aware of. He'd gone from seductive vampire to wise teacher so fast I didn't have time to even compute what he'd said. But his words had lit a fire in me and released the vampire in me that thrived on such basic desires.
He swung out with his right hand and I ducked under, but he'd known that was what I was going to do as his boot met my shoulder, flinging me to the side. I hit the ground with a thump and I snapped. Instincts that awoke when I felt threatened took over completely and the world went black as I acted on them. Slipping away to let the monster in me out, I was hardly aware of the ferocity with which I attacked. This was the part of me that I kept under lock and key, but it was the part of me that kept me alive for so long against the vampires I'd been kept prisoner with.
Fangs slid down, slicing into my lip and drawing blood. Atanas spoke but his voice was foggy and distant, the sight of him protecting himself barely acknowledged by me. He managed to block most of my blows, but he struggled and that almost shocked me enough to bring me back to myself. Atanas was over a millennia old, he should have been able to stand against me easily.
Suddenly I hit the ground, my head hitting the marble floor with a resounding crack. That was the shock that brought everything flooding back to me. I panted hard, staring at the sight of Atanas above me with a concerned gaze and a cut that slowly healed on his forehead. The scent of his blood in the air normally would have had me struggling to keep my hands from him, but knowing I had hurt him, made him bleed out of acts of violence, that frightened me.
Warily, he helped me sit up and I ignored the look of wonder that was tinged with fear in his expression. I couldn't stand to have someone scared of me.
"I'm not so much different from Airell's zombies after all." I tried to joke, rubbing the back of my head.
"Yes...well I think it's safe to say that when pushed, you can definitely look after yourself." Atanas chuckled, helping me back to my feet, though there was an amazed look on his face, "I've never seen such strength in one so young..."
I shook my head, still feeling that cold cloud of darkness around me, "I don't like being like that. It's not strength. It's a weakness, when I let the monster out, I lose myself."
"You are not a monster," Atanas stated firmly, gripping my chin, "Though, I'm beginning to believe Zena; Airell wants you for something. There's far more to you than I think meets the eye."
I would hate it if that were true and I wondered if Atanas had seen more than just a feral creature to be put down. Something he saw while we fought had made him change his mind. My eyes fell to his lips as he continued to watch me, memories of last night stirring something low in my belly again. His grim look changed to one of satisfaction as he inhaled.
"Did you know I can smell the change in you're scent when your turned on? It has an added spice of something I want to taste." He smirked, lowering his head to breathe in by my neck, his nose brushing against the almost healed mark on my neck.
If only I knew what he meant by turned on. It annoyed me that he seemed to know more about my body's reactions than I did. I tilted my head, baring my neck in the hopes of feeling his fangs on my throat. My eyes fluttered close as his lips brushed over the mark, sending heat straight to my core. I knew what I needed this time, I knew that friction could bring me to the heights of pleasure like it had last night.
I wanted his fangs on my throat, I wanted to feel the stab of pain that would be followed by a rush of pleasure while his hands moved roughly over my body. I wanted to feel and I found I didn't want the mark on my neck to fade.
My fingers tangled in his hair, tugging to urge him on and he chuckled at my desperation. He nipped my neck hard enough to draw a small drop of blood that he licked up with a low groan.
"I want you to show me." I pleaded breathlessly.
"What?" Atanas asked, pulling back to stare at me with wide, unbelieving eyes.
I pressed myself closer to him, enjoying the sudden boost of confidence I had gotten. Something told me he wouldn't be gentle, and my whole body was thrumming with both anticipation and fear. It wouldn't be like it had been with Airell, or Mirdull, or the men from my human life, I knew that already from the way my body only heated more at the thought. If Airell did manage to capture me again, I wanted to give myself to someone willingly, I wanted to know what it felt like to be taken by someone who cared for me. My decision was made, and I wouldn't take it back.
"Show me." I repeated, my voice quivering.
Atanas stared at me with that same shocked look for a few more moments, long enough that I began to wish I'd never said anything in the first place. Just as I was about to turn and leave, his hand slid to my waist and I was lifted and thrown over his shoulder. I squeaked, trying to push myself up.
He chuckled, his hand coming down hard enough on my rear to feel a sting, making me gasp. Again I tried to push away, completely confused.
"Stop your wriggling or you'll draw attention to us when we try to sneak up the stairs." He ordered teasingly, striding confidently down the hall.
Blinking, I was still waiting on my mind to catch up with what had just happened. He was holding me firmly and I had no choice but to let myself relax over his shoulder and try to keep my eyes from straying to his ass.
When the voices from the living room drifted to me, I started squirming again.
"Atanas, put me down. They'll see." I fretted, tugging on his shirt.
"Shylah, most of them are vampires, they're going to hear what we're doing anyway." He laughed, giving my leg a squeeze that brought no comfort.
"I don't want them to hear." I groaned, thumping his back in the hopes he'd relent.
"I don't think it's a good idea to leave her unprotected..." Anna's voice trailed.
Covering my face in humiliation, I held my breath as we entered the living room. Not even bothering to give into curiosity and ask who Anna didn't think should be left unprotected. Atanas' pace never slowed down though, and I had the feeling that grin was still on his face for all to see.
"Good workout?" Padraig asked innocently.
"It was only a warm up." Atanas replied smugly.
Another groan left me and I dared to peak between my fingers once Atanas started taking the stairs only to see a few smirking faces.
"Be safe!" Anna called, wiggling her fingers at me.
"Anna." I hissed, knowing this whole predicament was her fault, "I'm going to kill you."
She only laughed at my threat, watching me disappear once we rounded the corner. I huffed, watching the ground sway with each step until we entered a room at the bottom of the hall where I was disposed of on the bed. Atanas walked back to close the door and flick a lamp on, blue eyes intensely on me.
I glared and twisted onto my knees, "That wasn't funny."
"It wasn't meant to be, Libertas Mea."
"I don't speak Latin." I grumbled.
"You're stalling."
"Maybe."
He chuckled, taking slow, predatory steps towards me. I shuffled back, tilting my chin up to meet his ocean gaze.
"Why?"
A difficult question to answer. Because even though I'd been so confident downstairs, now we were in his room, fear crept forth. It tangled around my insides and whispered that no matter what he or Anna said, I knew what sex was and it was nothing but torture.
"You've nothing to fear from me, Shylah." He murmured, reaching out to tuck a stray lock behind my ear.
I knew he could probably smell the tang of fear on my scent and I was embarrassed by my sudden hesitancy.
As much as I knew he meant it, I didn't think he realised that I had everything to fear from him. Atanas had the ability to destroy me.
His lips brushing just under my ear had those thoughts drifting away. He sat, pulling me to straddle him. I settled a little being on top, knowing all I'd have to do was move to the side if I wanted to get away from him.
"You're in control here. All you have to do is tell me to stop and I will, no matter how far we go. Do you understand? It only takes a word from you." He promised before nipping my jaw.
My eyes fluttered shut, my body hyper aware as his teeth teased every sensitive spot he could. He chuckled, sitting back, and I groaned my disapproval, "I need an answer, Shylah."
"I understand." I whispered, opening my eyes again so I could see him.
The satisfaction on his face at my answer was almost enough to make me roll my eyes but he barely gave me time to think before his gentle touches became my only focus. His hands slid down my sides to grip my rear, pushing me against him and his lips found mine in a passionate kiss that stole the breath from me. I tried not to think too much about what I was doing but I couldn't ignore the passing thoughts of doubt. Was I kissing him right? Would I be a disappointment considering he'd had far more experienced women in his bed? But as his tongue moved against mine, I forgot all about that too.
The feeling of clothes between us had me groaning and I began to peel his shirt up, one hand trailing behind to feel hard muscles. A small smile twitched at my lips as he shuddered. As if to prove a point, Atanas moved his hands to my legs, sliding his hands up beneath my dress and I shuddered just as he had. Feeling brave, I nipped his lip and his fingers grazed close to the spot I had touched last night. I froze, grabbing his arms to stop him.
"Is everything okay?" Atanas asked, his brow furrowing.
Embarrassment flared, painting my cheeks a soft red, "I...I'm not wearing any um..."
He laughed, his body shaking before he announced "Good. It means there's less in the way."
I would make sure Padraig remembered to supply underwear the next time he chose to dress me.
Atanas shifted, laying me back on the bed with a grin before he pinned my wrists by my head. Instead of a spark of fear at my being pinned, it was one of anticipation. He released my wrists to push my dress higher up, his lips pressing kisses up my thigh. My breathing became pants, and I watched him curiously, wondering what he was doing. His tongue flicked out against the bundle of nerves at my core and my whole body jerked with electricity, hands flying down to his hair.
He growled, pinning my wrists back by my head again and I squirmed, "Why won't you let me touch you?"
His eyes caught mine, dark and hungry and that sliver of fear grew again.
"Because I want to prove to you that you can trust me completely, I want you to submit your body to me and let me show you what sex is meant to be like." He murmured, his lips brushing against my thigh before he smirked up at me, "A woman's body is meant to be worshipped, Shylah."
Still unsure, I relaxed a little when he waited for my permission to continue. That act of consideration meant more to me than I'd ever be able to express. At my nod, he continued kissing up my thigh and the closer he got to where I ached, the harder it was to keep my hands still. My hips bucked up on instinct, a groan of frustration leaving me as his fingers brushed close to where I craved them, bringing a flood of pleasure that seemed to turn into the burn of frustration.
My fingers sunk into the pillow, and finally he gave me what I wanted. I was surprised when it was his mouth that pressed against my core, his tongue moving over the spot that throbbed until I was quivering and moaning. Two fingers teased by my entrance, and again I was confused as to what he was doing until they pushed into me, adding another wave of overwhelming heat. His fingers curled, hitting a spot that had my chest constricting and sparks flash before my eyes. Arching, a strangled cry leaving me, Atanas' free hand lifted to cup a breast, pinching pebbled flesh.
The pressure was building again, my body tensing and just as I was sure I was going to feel the explosion of pleasure I did last night, he stopped.
My reeling body slumped back to the bed and I almost screamed in frustration. The sheets of the bed stuck to damp skin, my thoughts fuzzy and scattered. I knew what I wanted but I couldn't form the words to beg of him to stop teasing.
"Atanas." I hissed out, my face contorting as I looked pleadingly down at him.
He was tasting me on his fingers and the sight was so erotic that my body quivered. Atanas sat up and my eyes trailed over his muscled form, following the trail of his fingers as they slid down muscled flesh until they reached the button on his jeans. Pressing my thighs together, the feel of my own wet heat on my skin had the anticipation growing. My heart hammered in my chest as I watched Atanas rid himself of the last of his clothes and the warning bells went off in my head.
He paused as he saw me struggle with myself, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth. I clenched my jaw, frustrated with my nerves and I pushed myself up before I could think anymore, pulling Atanas towards me to press my lips to his. The action seemed to have caused the last of his own hesitancy to wear off because he was kissing me back hungrily, lowering me back down to the bed.
He parted my legs to rest his weight between them and a small gasp left me. Sparks of electricity flurried up as his hard length pressed against my core, my nails digging into his back. The low groan that rumbled from Atanas as I ground myself against him vibrated deliciously through me, urging me on. Rough hands wandered up my side, cupping and kneading a breast so that my back arches to push myself more firmly against him. I'd never craved anything as much as I craved the feel of Atanas' body flush against mine, the feel of his weight pressing down.
Fangs descended, cutting my own lip and his, our blood mingling before dripping down.
I knew what happened next, though no man had ever spent so much time bothering to touch me before they took what they wanted. That had me stilling for a moment. I couldn't think of a reason why just because it was consensual, Atanas taking me wouldn't hurt. I'd given too much of my thoughts away and Atanas' fingers curled in my hair, tugging to lift my chin so I was forced to meet his eyes.
"Don't think about them. You're with me, look at me, watch me." He ordered, his face gentling as he saw my fear, "We don't have to. If this has been as far as you can go, that's okay."
"I want to." I answered breathlessly, lifting my hips again.
All I could do was try to keep breathing as he pressed against my entrance. My whole body tensed, readying itself for the agony it was sure would come. His eyes closed as he thrust in, filling me hilt deep with a groan. The initial sting was forgotten as he did. My head fell back, my nails scraped over his skin and the cry that left me was full of newly discovered pleasure.
His hands slid to grip my wrists once more and this time I didn't resist as he pinned them roughly above my head before rocking into me again. My legs wrapped around him, pulling him closer, and soon my every thought was only of how I felt in this moment. My skin burned where he touched me and every thrust brought me higher until I was moaning and gasping with no care of who heard.
Desire filled eyes met his and I tilted my head to bare my neck to him. His fangs were on my throat without further encouragement, sinking deep his claim. This was something else entirely, my whole world disappeared as he fed from me. The fire that ran through my veins was one of pleasure, and I'd never felt so vulnerable before.
With the next thrust, I came undone. My arms wrapped around him, clinging on as I bucked and shuddered beneath him, screaming his name in ecstasy. This was far more intense than last night, every part of me was completely consumed by him.
As if my body's reaction triggered his own, his movements became more forceful. His fingers dug into my thigh, bruising soft skin as he slammed deep into me, causing aftershocks of pleasure to spark, and when I moaned, he followed after me. Muscles tensed tightly beneath my fingers and he released my neck to yell something unintelligible as he spilled into me.
Panting, trying to remember how to even breath, I slumped into the bed. My legs fell to the side, my arms loosening so my hands rested on his shoulders.
Bright blue eyes met mine, full of an adoration I had to look away from. I was strangely embarrassed again, aware that I was completely bare beneath him. He'd heard me scream, he'd touched me and pleasured me and now he was staring at me with an intensity I could practically feel in my soul.
I wasn't sure what to do. This was the point I was normally left alone ashamed and in pain, struggling not to cry. Tears did begin to blur my vision as I kept myself turned away from the man who could cause more hurt to me than anything Airell could do. Regret began to tear away the high I was on, fear that now he'd got what he wanted, I would be discarded.
Gripping my chin, Atanas turned my face towards him, pressing his mouth to mine in what could only be considered a chaste kiss after what we'd just done. Somehow I knew in that moment I wasn't notch to add to his belt.
His breath fanned my lips, blue eyes still focussed entirely on me so that only he existed for a moment longer, before his lips tilted in a cocky grin as he whispered, "And that, Mea Libertas, is what it's supposed to be like."