Racing Hearts (Hollows Garage Book 3)

I somehow made it through the rest of the weekend avoiding Jax. For the first time since I met him, he seemed to be avoiding me right back, which only made me angrier.

When it was time to go home, he even went as far as choosing to drive, and I knew it was to avoid sitting in the back with me. Which was fine. I liked sitting with Scout more, anyway. And if he wanted to be mad at me for something that was out of my control, then he could. If he wanted to treat me like that after he knew my insecurities about it, then fine.

I was fine.

My nose scrunched at the word. Because I was sick of being fine. I had been fine for years now, and I didn’t want to be just fine anymore. I wanted to be good. I wanted to be happy, and I wanted to have control of that on my own.

I leaned forward over the console between Jax and Kye.

“When will my truck be done?” I asked, looking over at Jax. His eyes stayed glued to the road, but I saw the way his nostrils flared and his hands tightened on the steering wheel.

Good. I hoped I was annoying him.

“Like I said, this weekend was going to set me back a few days. I can try to finish it up, and maybe have it done before next weekend.”

“Is there anything I could do to help that?” I asked.

“Do you suddenly know how to rebuild engines?” Kye asked with a playful smirk.

“No, but I didn’t know if there was anything that I could do to help speed up the process.”

“There’s not,” Jax said, the tone sounding like this was a final decision for him. It probably was, because I could only assume that he wanted to stay as far away from me as possible until I left.

“Fine. I was just checking,” I said, sitting back and looking at Scout, who rolled her eyes.

“There’s plenty she can do, Jax, and it wouldn’t hurt to teach her about it so she can do a few more things herself.”

“I can either get it done quickly, or I can teach you about what I’m doing. Your choice, but I can’t do both.”

I didn’t answer. While I loved Scout for being on my side of this, I didn’t think Jax and I working on my truck together was going to help anything. Although he might move quicker if I was hanging around bothering him.

I stayed quiet the rest of the drive, and the entire time we unpacked, neither of us said a word until I tried to cook. I had been so focused on being mad that I ended up burning the entire thing. It was so burnt, I couldn’t even attempt to taste it, let alone choke it down.

He gave a harsh laugh when he saw the pan. “Is that supposed to be chicken?”

“Yes,” I said, gritting my teeth. “But obviously I burned it.”

“Yeah, I got that,” he said, still smiling, but at least he was trying to hide it this time. “I’ll order us food.”

I could only huff and clean up, even more pissed off. Considering how mad I was, I was surprised that it was even possible. Even more surprised that I was so mad, but couldn’t think of being anywhere else.

Later, when he sat down in the living room, I grabbed the remote and put on an old scary movie. One that he probably wasn’t going to like. Maybe I was being petty, a little passive aggressive, but I wasn’t going to break and apologize to him. I didn’t want to, and if I didn’t stay angry, I was going to fall victim to his stupidly cute face.

With his freak out after I opened up, I didn’t think I had anything to apologize for, so I was going to sit, be angry, and wait for my truck to be done.

AS SOON AS Jax left on Monday morning to head to the garage, I started pacing around the apartment.

I wanted to run away and not have to deal with any more of this, but that currently wasn’t an option. I had to get through another week of this and then I could disappear. It wasn’t impossible. It’s not like Jax was doing anything to make me feel rushed anymore than I was rushing myself, and leaving would only be easier if we weren’t talking.

The thought knocked me back, because whether it happened now or in a week, I knew I was going to miss Jax. I was going to miss all of them.

It was the exact thing I had been trying to avoid. No part of me believed in forever, and I needed to remind myself of that. It had to end at some point. Why not rip the bandaid off sooner?

Aside from Jax and the girls, there was only one other person I could talk to. One person that I had talked to all my life, but hadn’t dared to call yet. I had wanted to wait until I was gone to call, but now the laptop and I would be out of here soon. Then, I could open the laptop, and decide what I could bring to the police without fear of Slaughter hurting the crew.

Tears threatened me as I stared down at the phone. My sister was the only one who could truly understand what was happening right now. But as much as I trusted my sister, she was also in a house with Tristan, and I didn’t know how much he monitored her phone. I took another deep breath, trying to sort through my thoughts as the door swung open.

“Hey, Carly,” Scout said, heading right to the coffeemaker, Quinn trailing in after her.

“Hey,” Quinn said, coming to a stop as she looked at me. “Are you okay?”

“No, I mean, I’m kind of okay. What are you guys doing here?”

“You seemed all pissed off and quiet in the car, so I told Quinn we should stop by after we were done with errands. Ash wanted to come, but there was something at Holt that she needed to take care of. She does want to have a girls only night this week though, which, obviously, I’m in.”

“What about tonight?” I asked. “One less night of awkwardly hanging around Jax would be great.”

“Uh-oh,” Quinn said, sitting down at the counter. “What happened?”

“Nothing that I shouldn’t have seen coming. I want you guys to know that as long as my truck is done this weekend, I’ll be leaving.”

They looked at each other before looking back at me. “It’s that bad? Does Jax know you are planning to leave so soon?”

“I don’t see why he wouldn’t. He’s barely talking to me and knows that I want my truck done as soon as possible. I even offered what help I could to finish it sooner.”

Quinn laughed. “Only Jax could piss a girl off so much that she is begging to go to the garage and work on an old truck. Not that I don’t agree with you on this, because Jax runs his mouth so bad sometimes that even I want to smack him. Is it possible that this could be fixed?”

“I don’t think that’s a question for me. I think that’s a question for Jax. My contribution to this fight isn’t as bad as his, at least if we’re comparing the two. And I don’t even think it matters now? I think the fight and my plan are set in stone, so I will be leaving next weekend.”

Quinn’s phone rang, and she apologized before grabbing it.

“How is that even possible?” she said. “We stopped by this morning and it was fine.”

Scout leaned in closer, trying to listen in on the conversation, but Quinn swatted her away, making me laugh. “Yeah, fine. We’ll head there now.”

She hung up and looked between Scout and I. “So, I guess with everything going on, that it would be a no to coming down to the garage to help me right now?”

“Why? What’s going on?” Scout asked.

“Apparently, the office sink had a small leak while we were gone that has now turned into a big leak. They didn’t notice until the water started dripping out into the garage. The guys already turned the water off and fixed it, but I have a ton to clean up now. I know Scout has a car she needs to get done, and Ash will be at Holt most of the day now. So, maybe you wouldn’t mind coming to help?” She gave a hopeful smile.

“Damn. We still have a lot of parts in the office. Hopefully, they started moving them. Do you feel bad enough for Quinn that you will come with us?”

“You only need help cleaning up?” I asked.

“Yeah, and maybe some organizing after. It sounds like it might have made a mess, so it could be an hour. It could be all day. I’m not sure yet.”

“And Jax would be…”

“In the garage, and we could kick him out if needed.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, of course I’ll come help. And I shouldn’t worry about Jax. I have to live with him for a few more days. Being around him shouldn’t be an issue.”

“No, but you’re allowed to be upset with him. And allowed to be sad. If you don’t want to see him, you can stay with either of us until your truck is done. We can figure out something comfortable at Scout’s place. We had a second bed in there before, so we could do it again.”

Even mad at Jax, it was an easy answer. “No, it’s alright. There’s no point doing all of that for a few days. It’s fine. We can be civil to each other.”

“Alright, whatever you want. Seriously, just tell one of us if you change your mind. So you’ll come with us to the garage? And Riot would come too, of course,” Quinn said, patting his head.

“Yeah, I’m in. But after we’re done, would you mind being the one to drive me back down?”

“Not at all. Maybe some time with me will help you get your mind off of things for a while. And hopefully Jax won’t bother us.”

“I don’t think he’ll be bothering you necessarily. I think it’s more like he will be there begging for forgiveness,” Scout said.

“Yeah, that’s pretty likely,” Quinn agreed.

“I’m not looking for that, so let’s hope not,” I said with a tight smile before going to change. I cleaned up the last of the kitchen quickly, Quinn’s words stuck in my mind.

Was I sad about Jax’s reaction? Or just angry?

I barely had time to think about it as they talked the entire way there, and ten minutes later, I was walking into the garage. I knew there was a side door to the office, but Quinn parked us in front of a bay door, leaving me no rational choice but to walk through the open bay.

I don’t know if he saw us coming or if it was that much of a coincidence, but Jax stepped in front of me as soon as I stepped inside.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, but he didn’t sound angry. If anything, he only sounded surprised.

“Quinn asked for some help.”

“I figured you would be staying a hundred feet away from me at all possible times.”

“I was planning on it, but I’m not going to tell Quinn no when you have all been so nice to me.”

“Quinn is being nice because she is nice, not because she expects it to be a favor that will be repaid.”

“I know that, but I like her and want to help,” I said. “Is that a problem?”

“Not at all. I’m glad you’re here. Do you want to go get something to eat with me in a bit? I’ve been wanting to talk, but with the daggers you stare at me, I’ve been a little worried about being murdered if I try.”

I looked up at him, his hair a little messy, his annoyingly hot button-up mechanic shirt pulling around his biceps. His smile that always seemed to be aimed at me.

It was hard to believe this was the guy that had been quickly becoming my best friend, and the one I had slept with. I don’t remember the last time that I spent this much time with one person and gave so much of myself. Worst of all, I couldn’t believe how little I hated him and only wanted to do it all again.

I was always quick to cut friends and potential boyfriends out of my life for the smallest of things, and now the thought of letting him go, letting them all go, hurt.

He was still waiting, looking me over as intently as I was looking at him.

“No,” I said.

Jax’s face cracked, his smile growing. “No?”

“No. You don’t get to be all sweet and make a joke and think this is fixed. You don’t get to go out to eat and be all charming and think I’m okay with this.”

“So you do think I’m charming?” he asked with a grin.

“Are you serious, Jax?” I said, moving to push around him.

“Sorry,” he said, wincing. “Joking when someone is mad at me is a habit. I don’t want to make a joke of it. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to go out to eat with you. I have to go help Quinn anyway,” I said, heading towards the office.

“Carly, wait. I’m sorry.” He almost yelled the words, making me stalk back to him.

“I don’t want to talk about this now.”

“I want to talk about this now.”

“And that’s not your decision,” I said. “You hurt me. You don’t get to decide if, or when, we talk about this.” The weird lump in my throat grew again. I did want to talk to him. I wanted him to fix it and make me feel better again, but I was almost too scared to find out what he had to say.

He was quiet, but didn’t look away. “Fine. Are you going to tell me if you do want to talk?”

My heart sank, and I nodded. “Yeah, I will.”

I turned and headed into the office, not looking back at him. Maybe I was too scared to talk to him, maybe I was too angry, or maybe, deep down, I knew this would make leaving easier.

Either way, I didn’t turn back, and he didn’t come after me. Everything was exactly how it should be.