SWNOVELS Chapter 48: Reminiscing
Nancy virtually ran to her quarters. She could not understand why she was reacting this way. Why had Jason's kiss affected her the way it had? She thought that everything concerning romantic feelings were no longer for her. She had schooled her body not to feel and had succeeded so far and why not given what she had been through and with her struggle for survival but one single kiss had made her wild. She had lied about it being her way of comforting Jason but she knew that was not entirely the truth. She had enjoyed the kiss and had wanted it to continue and it was only because of her shock at her wanton behaviour that she had pushed him away regretfully.
Even now, her body was still tingling from the effect of that kiss. She had not been kissed so deliciously that way. Not even with Rodney had she felt her inhibitions give way that easily.
She had become intimate with Rodney to prove to him that she loved him. She had not really been ready to do that otherwise. She had thought that he loved her. He had showered her with so much love and attention and money. She had been spoilt by him. She was given whatever she wanted or needed even before she could ask, provided it was what money could buy.
She had mistaken his generosity for love and care.
She had thought that he must love her so much to take time away from his work in London to be with her and make sure that she lacked nothing and when he pressured her to give in to his base desires, she had felt that that was the least that she could do.
She remembered clearly her first time with him. They had been dating for about a month and he had started being persistent about sleeping with her. She should have heard the warning bells then but she was too smitten with him to have paid any heed to any warnings.
'Let us wait a bit darling, I am saving myself for our wedding night' she had said snuggling close to him.
'You are saving it for me right? Well why not give it to me now? I love you so much that I cannot bear to wait any longer to make you mine. I am always afraid whenever I am not with you. I feel that other men would see your exceeding beauty and take you from me!'
'But nobody can take me away from you. I love you so much. I love you and you alone.I am a one man - woman and could never be disloyal to you, ever', she had sworn still wrapped in his arms. He had kissed her then Thoroughly. And she had felt lived and cherished and her desires had been awakened.
'That is just one thing I love about you. You are loyal. There is no trait of disloyalty in you and I am like that as well. We are alike in that way. But can't you see, since we are vowed to be faithful to each other and we both love each other and know that we are meant for each other, what difference does it make when we consumate our relationship? Love does not count all that. It is merely childish and old fashioned. If you really want to wait till our wedding night, then I shall definitely oblige you but I do not see the need for that if we really love and trust each other except of course you have your doubts concerning our relationship?'
'No, no. I have no doubts at all. I may have had doubts at first but not anymore. I know that you could never hurt me'
'Then why hesitate? If there is really so much love and trust, why is there so much distance?' he asked and she thought that she could see the sincerity in his eyes and hear it in his voice and she had allowed his roaming hands to draw her even closer.
He had kissed her fiercely but must have recollected himself and treating her tenderly, he impatiently discarded her clothes, stroking her breasts, caressing her body and she had become hot. Hot and yearning
He had taken her breasts in his mouth and she had moaned loudly especially when he had alternated the stroking of her breasts with his tongue and biting her nipple. Causing her to be hot and cold at the same time.
He had proceeded in lying her down gently and bringing out a condom, he wore it and drove his hard length into her. She had not been well prepared. Her body had not yet been well lubricated and it protested the entry, but he kept pushing and it had been so painful,but his calming words had soothed her until her
body had eventually yielded. Content
He had tried to be gentle but he lost control of himself and rode her impatiently and before you could say Jack Robinson, he started convulsing.
It had not been the way that she had envisaged that it would be. She had thought that the earth would quake, there would be stars and lightening but none of those things had happened. She had felt disappointed.
He rolled off her.
'You are sweet darling. Now you have proven to me that you love me in deed. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did?'
She had no option but to lie to him that she did.
'I know that it may not have been as pleasurable for you as it should have been but it is only because it is the first time. The next time, you won't feel the pain and it would be a pleasure ride'.
His explanation had been enough to dispel her doubts and she felt flattered that he loved her so much that he had been impatient to take her and make her wholly his.
Truely though, the next time had
been better than the first and she started enjoying being with him intimately. Rodney had to have her almost every time after that first time. It was almost as though Ke had gone mad for her body and she felt flattered that he could not take his hands of her and felt that that was evidence enough for her of his love.
That was until she became pregnant because Rodney became careless and forgetful of protecting himself before having her and she didn't
In
think anything if it, afterall they were both in love and would soon get married.
These thoughts made Nancy sad as she remembered how vulnerable she had been and how Rodney had taken advantage of her vulnerability and naivety.
She had to stop this. Thinking these hurtful and sad thoughts was not safe for her health or her baby's.
She went into the bathroom and had a quick shower before going to bed. Sleep was slow in coming as her thoughts were disorganized but she eventually fell into a troubled sleep.
She woke the next day a bit later than usual and by the time she got to the main house, she was told that her boss had already left for the office but had instructed his driver to bring her in another car.