SWNOVELS Chapter 47: Comfort or Desire?
'I'm sorry. I didn't know how that happened. I must have forgotten myself'. Jason said. He was not sorry. Not one bit. He had enjoyed the kiss more than he had thought possible. He had forgotten that she was pregnant and could go back to the father of her baby at anytime.
He had just wanted to have her to himself. This was what he had been afraid of. That was why he had been avoiding her but found that he had run into what he had been running from.
'It's okay. You needed comfort and if I have been able to provide you with that no matter how momentarily, then I am happy. It is the least I could do for you for all you have done for me', she said smiling, with trembling lips.
Jason cursed himself when he saw that. He must have scared the hell out of the girl but he had been unable to resist those lips of hers and her eyes that begged to be loved. But he was disappointed by her words but what had he expected that she would be over the moon by his kiss?
But he was not happy that she only felt gratitude for him, when he was becoming increasingly attracted to her irrespective of her pregnancy. Pregnancy did not make her less a woman than the others, it was just that it put certain restrictions especially since it was not his.
For a moment there, he had thought that she was actually enjoying his kiss. Now he knew better. She was just offering him comfort.
'Yes thank you. You were right. I feeluch better now that I have shared my troubles with you but please do not trouble yourself on my account. I am okay now. And I would like to be alone. Goodnight', he said dismissively. Nancy did not know why but his tone hurt her and she knew by his stance that he broached no argument.
'I am glad I could be of help. Goodnight', she said and left hurriedly.
Jason hit his fists on the wall. He did not know what to make of all this.
On the one hand was Rebecca who was back and he was not sure yet what he felt for her. Was it hatred or indifference or was there still some element of love residual in his heart for her?
If he was sincere, he felt that he hated and wanted her at the same time and wanted to bring her to her knees before him. On the other hand was Nancy who was not really free to be with him and this incredible attraction he was feeling towards her.
He was confused and felt that he must be losing it.
He put on his bathing suit. He was hot and needed to cool the heat in his body. He went downstairs again and walked to the pool at the edge of the premise and dived into it.
The cool water calmed his nerves. He wondered how he was going to face Nancy. He would just pretend that that kiss never happened or that it did not mean anything other than comfort yo him. 'But that would be a lie!' his mind screamed at him.
'You enjoyed the kiss so much that if she had not pushed you away....'
'Of course not, I could never have taken advantage of her or any woman for that matter. Definitely not the one I am supposed to be protecting for goodness sakes', he argued with himself.
He had to forget about the kiss and concentrate on other things. And he did not need to think about Rebecca because it was possible that he would not see her again. Since she was not married to Terry, it was possible that one of her male friends had brought her to the luncheon as his companion and judging by her tastes, the man must really be influential and wealthy.
He would definitely take her away after the luncheon.
That was no business of his
anyways. He had not expected to see her and if he didn't see her again then that was that. His questions would just have to remain unanswered. There was no need crying over spilt milk. He was not planning on taking her back afterall no matter how his body seemed to still react to her. He was just a man appreciating a beautiful woman even if a treacherous one.
He flapped his arms, trying to exert himself so that he could go to sleep easily without having to be besieged by thoughts of Rebecca and her sudden appearance in Lake District nor of the kiss he had just shared with Nancy.
But the man who got her pregnant and Abandoned her must have been a big fool. The girl was really a jewel and he admired her courage. Most girls in her position would have aborted the baby and gone ahead with their lives but she kept the baby,determined to have it and was working hard to earn enough to care for it when it was born. It was indeed admirable. The way she worked at the office was more than he had been envisaging. She was really dedicated to duty. And an efficient secretary. She was so humble that she was now the favourite of all his home staff and even at the office, every one had one good thing or the other to say about her. And she had been with them for less than two months.
not
He got put off the pool and with his towel, dried himself and walked back inside. He went to the bar to get something to drink but stopped himself. He was not going to take to drinking again. It had nearly killed him the last time. He had since sworn off alcohol and he was going to take even a sip. Not for Rebecca or any woman would he put himself through that he'll again. With this resolution, he climbed the stairs to his room.
He barely put on his pyjamas before falling into the bed asleep. He was really tired and needed rest from everything.