Perpetual

We are all laughing our lungs out. Zac is telling us about the most stupid thing he has ever done and I can’t believe the story so far.

‘So what happened?’ I ask, my eyes welling up.

‘Okay so Zara told me that she was sick, I was so sure that she was really sick and my little mind thought okay so let me get her those pills in mum’s room.’

‘Dude you didn’t know what those pills were you just ended up giving her?’

‘What was I going to do? They were medicine and they were supposed to work right?’

We fall into a fit of laughter again.

‘So what medicine was it?’ Musonda asks tears rolling down his face.

‘Contraceptives man! Bloody contraceptives!’

We laugh again, so hard and my tears fall again.

‘Mum came home and I was quick to tell her that I had given Zara the medicine that was in her bedroom. She didn’t react at first, she just went to check on her daughter and then came back holding the remaining medicine.’

‘What did she do?’

‘She found herself laughing, I didn’t know what they were until in college when I dated this girl who was taking them. Man I was so embarrassed.’

‘I bet you were.’

We laugh some more but we all turn around when we hear a car driving in.

‘Ah finally.’ Musonda says.

‘Finally?’

‘Celina was supposed to come and pick up something, I was wondering when she would come.’

She parks and gets out of the car.

‘You guys decided to hold a party without us?’ Zara asks.

‘What party?’ We ask in unison and start laughing. I am starting to suspect the ‘space cake’ is finally working.

‘What time did you guys start drinking?’ Celina asks going to kiss her boyfriend. They kiss for a few minutes before she sits on his laps.

‘Is that space cake?’ Zara asks.

‘It could be ordinary cake.’ I say.

She shakes her head.

‘Leo have you ever had space cake before?’

‘Zara have you ever had space cake before?’

‘Damn it come with me.’

She doesn’t wait for me to stand, she comes to pull me up from my chair and walks with me to the house. We get into the kitchen and she commands me to sit on the kitchen chair.

She walks over to the fridge and gets a carton of milk and pours some in a glass then hands it to me.

‘Drink up!’

‘Yes commander.’

She shakes her head in irritation but I am too high to care about her feelings right now. I drink up then she pours a second glass.

‘But I am drinking alcohol.’

‘I am giving you this because I need you to puke out everything, when you do you will feel better.’

‘I don’t want to feel better, I am okay like this.’

She sits on the kitchen counter and is watching me with sharp eyes.

‘Why did you ladies come to invade our party? We were having the time of our lives.’

‘Were you now? It looks to me like you were just running away from your problems by drinking yourselves out. And what you don’t realise is that you will find the same problems when you are sober.’

‘At least we will have one night less of thoughts. And besides I think the guys did this for me, seeing what I am going through.’

Zara laughs.

‘What?’

‘You have a lot to learn about this crew.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘They didn’t come up with this chill out because they feel pity for you. They did it because they have accepted you and made your issue their own.’

‘I am not following.’

‘We protect each other in this circle, we always make sure that we have each other’s back and if one of us messes up we make sure to chew that bone.’

‘I am too drunk to process this but whatever you say.’

..

It’s almost 11PM and Leo hasn’t come back yet. My pride won’t allow me to call him to find out where he is. The night of the dinner he was so upset he went out and I am not sure what time he got back because I was already at the hospital when he came through. My house help has picked this very moment to bail out on me when I need her the most. Now I have to think of getting a new one and training but if anything, I am glad she left because I suspect she saw Gabriel the night before and was too disturbed to comprehend everything so she decided to leave.

I look at my ringing phone hoping it’s Leo but it’s Gabriel. I frown, he is the last person I want to talk to.

‘What do you want Gabriel?’

‘Can’t I check up on you?’

‘I don’t think that’s why you are calling.’

Silence.

‘Fine there is no need pretending. I only called to see if you have changed your mind about telling Leo and Lona.’

‘Are you insane? I don’t plan on telling any of them anything, I told you already didn’t I?’

He laughs a little and I can almost sense the relief from his end.

‘Gabriel you need help, there is no way that you can be turned on by such things.’

‘I promise you baby I will get help. I will.’

‘You pushed me to the wall knowing I am pregnant, you watched me bleed and slept with me just like that. You need serious help.’

‘I don’t know what came over me, I swear.’

‘I have been researching.’

‘Researching? Sasha don’t you ever try to google anything about me again! I told you I was sorry.’

I cut him short

‘Gabriel I want to help you, google said you could be doing this due to some trauma that you haven’t handled or.’

I pause.

‘Or what?’

‘Or you are a masochist Gabriel.’

…

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️