Pedigree

The week has been super busy for me, which is a good thing because the whole emotional confrontation with VK left me feeling a certain type of way. I have been purposely avoiding him and his busy schedule has been coming in handy too.

It’s a Friday and as usual I am the last one to leave the office, I have so much on my plate and since there is nothing I am rushing for at home I decide to stay back and finish whatever work I can.

My shoes are tossed to one side and my feet feel really nice stepping on the rug, I just hope the janitor has been cleaning it well. I don’t want to imagine a situation where I am stepping on it and it is mighty messed up, I am so engrossed in my work that the light knock at the door doesn’t alert me until my door opens.

‘What are you doing here?’ I ask nelson who has just walked into my office

He has a bouquet of flowers and a khaki bag from Mozambik – my favorite seafood place.

‘I knew you would still be working and obviously hungry so I thought I stop by and bring you dinner.’

‘Nelson I need you to leave, I wasn’t planning on staying. I just needed to bring this to you.’ He says walking towards my table

He gets my glass vase which always has fresh water and puts the flowers, he is actually the reason I bought this vase because he would get me flowers every other week. When done he puts the food on the table and then settles on the chair opposite me.

‘Go on with your work, pretend I am not even here because truth is I am not.’

I don’t know what to say to him, I don’t even understand why he is here but I have so much work to do I can’t afford starting a conversation with him. As hard as it is I get back to my work pretending like he is not even here and for the life in me this is the part I wish VK would just show up and save me from all this.

‘How is dad doing?’

I don’t respond.

‘You know eventually you will have to talk to me right?’

‘Nelson you have his number, why don’t you call him? I am sure he would love to hear from you.’ I say before chuckling

‘You know sarcasm doesn’t look good on you right?’

‘Sarcasm doesn’t look good on me?’ I ask looking at him, I bet I won’t be able to finish my work after all.

‘It never has, and it never will.’

‘You know what Nelson, I think you have over stayed your welcome so please leave.’

‘I am not going anywhere.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘You heard me.’

I chuckle not once taking my eyes off him.

‘Sweka I messed up, I know I did. But how long will you stay mad at me?’

‘Nelson are you seriously trying to dictate how long I will be mad at you? And what even makes you think that I am mad at you?’

‘Well are you not?’

I laugh, I know I shouldn’t but I laugh.

‘You honestly are about the biggest fool there is, aren’t you? Nelson you don’t get to hurt me and dictate how and when I forgive you and you are out of your mind to think that I am mad at you because I am not! I am hurt and there is a huge difference between the two.’ I yell, now on my feet.

He looks at me like he has so much to say but then says so little.

‘You are married now and you should be paying attention to your wife, you have no business coming to me or even seeing me. I don’t want to cause problems in your marriage so stay away from me.’

He stands up too.

‘There are things you will never understand Sweka and I am not about to go anywhere, I love you and I always you.’

‘Doesn’t it hurt your tongue? Telling me you love me and yet with another person?’ I ask tears

betraying me, I thought I was okay. I thought the weeks that I have been busy with VK I had actually put my relationship with Nelson behind but it looks like quickly involving myself with another man was just the easier way to bring myself here.

‘You will never understand why I did what I did but Sweka for now I just want you to trust me, let us go out somewhere. This weekend, pick a place and I will show you that I didn’t mean to hurt you. I will show you that things can still be the same between us.’

I chuckle, wiping away the angry tears.

‘You can’t fix what you broke Nelson, we can never be fixed.’

‘By virtue of us being broken it means that we can be fixed, I can’t explain why I married Vaughn but I need you to know that it’s deeper than what meets the eye.’

‘Leave.’ I say now getting mad

He puts a flight ticket on my desk, I don’t even read where it’s for.

‘I will come pick you up this weekend, let us go on that vacation we had been planning on going for a while. Allow me to prove myself to you once again.’ He says coming close, I should push him away but I don’t. I allow him to kiss me, I allow myself to feel everything all over again and I know I am about the biggest fool right now but he was my safe place for a long time anyway and those feelings don’t just go away.

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Winnie

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