Outliers

A strange wind is coming from the west. It smells of change. As it gently blows my hair, I feel my unanswered questions fade. I don’t remember them anymore. Their answers don’t matter. A tickling feeling over my face makes my bare skin come to life when I know that it is my very soul that is actually awakening from a long, deep sleep. Wind of change… now I know I had been long waiting for you. I am ready.

- Vasiliki

A week had passed with me in Colorado. True to Harris’ word, he had been training me every morning at six am for an hour. Mostly, we would go for a run through the territory or we would work through combat techniques. Every morning, I would wake up aching. Harris pushed me harder than Jack ever did and had me feeling more weak and unaccomplished than I thought was possible. I hadn’t realised until now just how much more I had left to learn. It was clear I had grown too comfortable with Jack and allowed myself to grow too confident.

It was nearing the end of another one of our morning session and we were running later than usual. Already some of the trainees were out on the training field warming up and waiting for Lorcan to appear.

“Get up,” Harris commanded, drawing my attention back to him instead of across the field. From my position on the ground where I had slumped after our run - of which he had made us sprint nearly the entire time across the rough terrain through the trees - I watched him cross his arms tightly, a scowl on his face. It wasn’t often he wore anything but a scowl when we were training. I was sure he was judging and criticising me the entire time.

It was all I could do each day not to swear at him; I was already counting down the days until I could join in on the training with the rest of the pack. He wasn’t even out of breath, and only the slight sheen of sweat on his tanned chest, that shined under the early morning sun, showed he’d done any exercise at all.

“Are we not done?” I almost groaned, dragging myself slowly to my feet. His scowl deepened, those thick eyebrows of his knitting together tightly.

“We’re going to spar today. I want to assess where you are in hand to hand combat.”

I tried not to let my surprise show. While sparring was the one thing I had been missing this entire time, there was a heavy feeling of trepidation settling in my gut. Yes, I knew I was skilled in hand to hand combat. My years of experience with Jack proved that, but the problem was my only experience was with Jack. While he was an Alpha, he was only twenty-six years old, barely trained himself. Alpha Harris was at least over a century old, despite not looking a day over twenty-five. He was experienced and highly trained and I knew without a doubt he would wipe the floor with me. With Jack, there was always a friendly competition to our fights. With Harris, I only felt intimidated.

Already he had proven my overall fitness and endurance was not as impressive as I had thought. I wasn’t sure my pride could survive my combat skills being ripped to shreds.

“You’ve seen me spar before,” I pointed out, shaking out my limbs and stretching loosely, preparing myself nonetheless. I was still slick with sweat, a cool breeze feeling amazing against my skin. I trained in only a sports bra and tight shorts, needing fewer layers to keep cool during training.

“Yes,” he agreed, eyes narrowing, “But I want to see how well you hold up against me.“

I couldn’t hold his gaze, my eyes falling to the ground as I kicked at the grass. My arms came to wrap around my waist. Embarrassment was the feeling suddenly weighing heavy in my stomach. I knew my face was flushed - regardless of if it was noticeable against the rosiness of my cheeks from the workout.

“I’ve yet to train with anyone but Jack,” I mumbled, hoping pointlessly that he would not have heard.

“And why is that?” Now I dared to look up at him. Harris crossed his arms, his face impassive. I was thankful his expression gave nothing away. I didn’t want to know what he was thinking.

“Because I’m vulnerable,” I explained through gritted teeth, my eyes falling away again as the answer felt bitter on my tongue. I hated the excuse whenever Jack had uttered it to me. “He didn’t want me to get hurt. I can’t heal as quick as normal wolves.”

“And you think that’s fair?”

No.

“I don’t have a wolf. What good would I be against anyone else?” I shrugged.

I was aware of the Alpha wolf stalking closer to me until we were only a foot apart. On instinct, my body stiffened. He was too close to me, and I was sure this was another intimidation tactic on his part. I cursed myself for falling prey to it, for allowing myself to be so submissive in his presence.

This was what they expected of me. It was my place in a pack to submit to the Alpha wolf. But it felt abnormal. It made me feel weak. For years, I had felt so weak compared to my pack members that I had overcompensated in ways that were now proving to be an issue. It was natural for the pack wolves to be weaker than the Alpha. If I had any hope of being accepted into the pack, I would have to adjust. Alpha’s rarely suffered disobedient wolves. This wasn’t Idaho. This wasn’t Jack who allowed my confrontation.

“I thought you came here to train?” he demanded flatly.

“I did.”

“So stop letting your insecurities get the better of you and train.”

I was frowning at him, pursing my lips as I stepped away and positioned myself to go on the defence. The idea of fighting Harris and doing anything but enduring him seemed impossible.

“Are you ready?” He asked, voice suddenly soft. He was watching me intently, his eyes on my shoulders and hips, waiting for me to make the first move. A ly smirk stretching across his lips when he realised that wouldn’t happen.

He lunged for me, fist reaching for my ribs. I barely moved quick enough to escape the assault, but somehow I did. Bouncing on my toes slightly, I was already moving as he tried to hit me again. I knew my speed was my strong suit, but it wouldn’t last for long. I had seen Alpha Harris sparring with Lorcan late at night from my bedroom window, and I knew he could be just as quick. He was smart too, quickly adapting to whatever new techniques Lorcan threw his way.

Again, he lunged for me, this time when I darted away. His right hook was already there, slamming into my ribs so hard I knew he’d cracked one. I grunted at the impact, mortified by the whimper that followed. Harris stepped back, eyeing me warily, hands lowering.

He was hesitating. Already he thought I would quit, that I couldn’t hold up against the same brutality other wolves could. I shifted slightly on my feet, exaggerating my wince from the pain.

While his guard was down, I darted forward. A surge of pride hit me as my fist made solid contact with his jaw, even as his own fist knocked my shoulder back, creating a distance between us once again. We circled each other. Alpha Harris’ smirk had curved into a full daring grin. He was enjoying this now.

And it was infuriating.

I tried to jab him in the ribs, but he caught my wrist, fixing me in my spot as his elbow thrust into my diaphragm. A rush of air left my lungs. The impact was so hard it felt as if my lungs were spasming as I gasped to collect my breath. He released me and attempted to push me away, but I stood my ground, my hands clutched tight to his shoulders as I rammed my knee hard into his gut.

For the first time since we had begun, I heard him groan. Now we were getting somewhere.

Or so I thought. Immediately, he knocked my legs out from under me. My arms were barely quick enough to stop my face from smashing into the ground. His weight pressed down on me, his bare chest pressed against my back, the heat of his skin stifling. I tried to buck under him, but it was useless. Already, his teeth were at my throat, the fangs pressing gently against my skin and his breath hot.

With a groan, I arched my neck, submitting to the Alpha and accepting my defeat. I heard his sharp intake of breath, the sudden stiffening of his body, and within seconds he was off of me and back on his feet. It took me a little longer to gather myself. My arms strained as I pushed myself up and rolled so I was laying flat on my back, my arms and legs spread out like a starfish.

“I don’t think I can get up,” I rasped, panting and staring wide eyed up at the sky. Every muscle in my body was screaming, sweat drenched every inch of skin and my lungs burnt with every breath.

A hand, large and calloused, filled my sight. Harris stood over me, mouth drawn tight as he held out a hand to help me up.

“We have an audience.”

I groaned as he helped me up, finding my feet just in time to see Sandra marching across the grass towards us.

“Holy hell!” She barked, coming to a stop on the side-lines, hands resting heavily on her hips as she sent a beaming, toothy grin my way. “I thought you said you were a bloody Omega?”

“Well, uh,” I sighed, my eyes falling to Harris for help. He only raised a brow. “I’m technically not anything; I can’t shift.”

“You’re joking,” she disputed, nearly gasping.

“Nope. I have a human mother.”

“You’re actually shitting me though, right? You’re not being serious?”

I was surprised it had taken this long for me to tell anyone. No one had questioned why I hadn’t shifted in an entire week, though perhaps they thought I waited until I was alone or with the Alpha.

From behind her I could see Lorcan emerge from the main house, stalking across the field towards the trainees with his usual fierce scowl. He’d dressed in all black shorts, vest and trainers, as he had all week looking as intimidating as always. The trainees who had spotted him immediately stiffened, waiting silently for his arrival.

Thankfully he didn’t turn in our direction.

“I mean, I’d prove it, but there’s literally nothing to show you,” I laughed weakly. From my peripheral I saw Alpha Harris already moving away from us towards the trainees. Which meant we had finished for the day. I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Today was the first day all week I had enjoyed our training.

“I’ve never seen someone hold so well up against Harris on their first time before.” Sandra’s eyes flicked toward her retreating Alpha and I tried my best not to do the same.

“I’ve trained exclusively with Alpha Athan for... well, since my teens, when I hadn’t shifted for the first time and it became apparent I wasn’t going to.” That drew her attention back to me.

“That must have been fucking tough.”

“It wasn’t too bad; that’s a lie. It was actually the worst thing ever when I was thirteen, didn’t help a few years later when my little sister shifted for the first time. But it’s fine now.” Another lie.

“Ouch,” she sympathised. “And you’ve not even come close, not once?”

“I don’t have a wolf. I have the strength and the agility. I can run pretty fast on foot, and my bruises and broken bones heal quick enough, but no wolf, none of those wolfy urges.”

“What about the Alpha command? How do you respond to that?”

“Well,” I shrugged, “I still find them pretty intimidating, but I don’t feel the overwhelming desire to submit that everyone describes feeling when in the presence of an Alpha or Beta.”

I saw her eyeing my expose neck, saw the question in her expression as she noted the lack of a bite.

“And you’re unmated?”

Biting my lip, I help her gaze for a second too long.

“I am.”

“And Harris accepted your request to join the pack?” Again she looked across the field towards her Alpha, her brows furrowed slightly.

“He did.”

Whether she noticed the sudden sharpness to my tone or not, Sandra relaxed her expression and offered me a dry, amused smile.

“Well, I won’t interrogate you anymore. Whatever’s led you to us is your business.”

“Thanks.”

“Now come on,” Sandra clapped me on the back. “Let’s go get some breakfast. I’m starving. Though I’m already thinking about lunch, I think one of my hunters is cooking today and they’re the least terrible of us sorry lot.”

***

“How old is the Alaskan Alpha?” Sandra mused later that day over her stew, tearing the bread in her hands into pieces.

Everyone else had already eaten lunch and left the kitchen, leaving me with Sandra and Nero for company. Most days, I ate with either them or Adriel and Lorcan. But it was the only time I spent with them outside of my morning training with Alpha Harris and my afternoons, which I spent exploring the territory. So far, I hadn’t ventured very far outside the running route I had taken up with the Alpha.

Sandra and Nero had both been trying to quiz me more on Alpha Athan today, but I wasn’t giving them an inch. Eventually, the conversation had shifted to the other packs and Alpha’s.

“Alpha Allister?” Nero asked around a mouthful of his food.

“You don’t call an Alpha by his first name,” Sandra chastised, smacking Nero in the chest hard. He spluttered, choking on his food.

“It’s not like he’s here,” Nero wheezed, scowling at her. “Anyway, I don’t even think he has a last name.”

“Everyone has a last name. I heard he never had a mate,” I chimed in. I wasn’t even halfway through my food while Nero had nearly finished his bowl. The boy ate like he’d been fasting for days. I was surprised he could get a word out with how much he shoved in his mouth at once.

“Well, I heard his mate was human and died years ago. Before all the other current Alphas were even born. He’s Irish, isn’t here?”

“Where’d you hear that?” Nero cried in outrage, his spoon flying wildly as he gestured enthusiastically with his hand. “He’s Scottish!”

“You can’t possibly know that. Have you ever even met him?” Sandra huffed.

“No, but my mom’s cousin’s sister-in-mating transferred to his pack three years ago, and I heard through my mom he’s Scottish.”

“He is,” I intervened, recalling the brief few times I had heard the Alpha speak at the meetings, amused by their back and forth arguing. Nero’s head snapped towards me; eyes wide in wonder.

“You’ve met him?” He was positively gleeful, leaning across the table towards me in excitement. “Is it true he’s almost twice the size of Alpha Harris?”

I scoffed, “Of course he isn’t. Alpha Harris is huge. Can you imagine someone twice the size of him?”

A mischievous smirk curved across Nero’s face. He leant towards me across the kitchen island, head stooping low as if he was about to share a secret.

“We are talking about their dicks, right?” Nero asked in a low voice, wiggling his eyebrow at me. Sandra began cackling.

“Yes, Nero, I was absolutely talking about the Alpha’s dicks,” I countered sarcastically, fighting back a grin of my own. “Abso-fucking-lutely huge.”

“Oh, my god!” Sandra exclaimed between fits of laughter just as a throat cleared behind me.

“Well, this... is delightful,” Adriel chirped with a grin so wide I thought it was going to split his face in half. “I’m sure Harris’ ego will be boosted after hearing about this.”

I thought I was going to melt into a puddle of embarrassment. Of all the people to have caught the conversation out of context, the only person worse would have been Alpha Harris himself. That certainly wouldn’t make training awkward.

“Don’t tell him I said that,” I begged, mortified. “You know that’s not what I meant.” Adriel was simply smirking as he strolled through the kitchen towards the back door.

“Adriel! Adriel, don’t tell him!”

Sandra was laughing so hard now I honestly thought she was about to fall on the floor, and Nero’s face was blushing so deeply despite his snickering.

Adriel only shrugged his shoulders, innocently claiming, “There can be no secrets between an Alpha and his Beta.”

“You’re such a dick!”

When he had left and Sandra had calmed down, she shot me a pointed look with a coy smile, “Well, at least you’re not wrong. The Gods certainly were kind to Harris.”

Nero spat out his drink, coughing as his cheeks somehow grew even redder.

“Jesus Sandra,” he shrieked, “I didn’t actually want to know about the Alpha’s dick size!”

“Why? You gonna be up all night thinking about it? Don’t be such a baby,” she laughed. “Anyway, it’s not like I’ll get the chance to see anymore,” she sighed dramatically, flipping her short hair for effect.

“Well, it’s hardly going to get smaller just ’cause he’s not getting laid, is it?” Nero grumbled, still coughing and holding his chest.

“Wait what?” I butted in, looking between the two of them. “What are you talking about?”

“He pulled me aside a couple of days ago and ended things with me.” There was a wry grin twisted on her lips, but she didn’t seem angry.

“Did he say why?” I couldn’t help but ask, too curious for my own good. “Are you upset?”

“I’m miffed that I’m not getting sex anymore,” she shrugged. “But I’m not annoyed with Harris. He’s not mine, I’m not his. It was just physical. If he wants it to end, it’s ended - didn’t need an explanation.”

Her calmness surprised me. I had only ever experienced the relationship between mates and, other than the rare occurrences of rejection, a scenario like this was unheard of in Idaho. Sometimes two wolves who had both lost their mate did pair together, claiming to share a secondary bond - one weaker to the mating bond but still very much existing, but casual relationships were never a thing.

“I’m not used to situations like this, with relationships regarding people other than mates, where there’s no romantic attachment.”

“It’s different here.”

“Good.” Different was what I needed.