SWNOVELS Off to the Races: Chapter 27
Violet is already up on DD by the time I get down to the dirt track. She’s in the saddle walking him around the grass infield. The sun has barely risen, but Violet is ready to go.
We already talked about testing the waters with him after his colic. Luckily, it wasn’t very severe, and he’s pretty much recovered. My hysterics may have been slightly over the top. But this horse is special, and I won’t take any chances with him.
“Morning!” Her hand shoots up in a terse wave as I flip a leg over the white fence and sit on top of it. DD raises his neck and whinnies at me in greeting.
At least one of them is happy to see me. The duo walks towards me, and DD’s petite head swings back and forth happily. He looks relaxed with his ears perked forward and back stretched long, and it warms my heart to see the anxious little horse looking so content. He just needed time and a gentle hand—and a metric fuck ton of treats. Greedy little jerk.
“Who pissed in your Shreddies, Vivi?” I ask as they approach me now.
“Har-har-har.”
DD reaches his head out, once he gets close enough, shaking me down for cookies. I blow a raspberry on his soft nose and boop him on the forehead. “After your workout, piggy.” I lean back and take in Violet’s wide blue eyes and the pinched expression at the corners of her mouth. “You okay?”
“Mhm.” She looks down and fiddles the reins in her hands.
I swear, if it’s that guy still, I’m going to kill him myself. “Don’t quit this gig to become an actress.”
“Don’t tell her what she can and can’t do.”
I turn to see Vaughn walking down the gentle slope away from the offices. He’s holding a steaming cup of coffee and gives me a knowing smirk as he approaches. My spine tingles at his heated look. Images of how I’ve spent the last couple nights flash through my mind. Filthy. And delicious. The man is turning me into a mindless bimbo. He’s fully dressed, it’s first thing in the morning, and all I can think about is dragging him back up to his office and locking the door.
Alas, I’ve got horses to train and races to win, so I ignore the blush that creeps across my cheeks as he leans in to hand me the cup of coffee and quietly says, “Should I make you beg for this too?”
“Prick,” I huff out. I look down and see the perfect coffee to cream ratio in the hot mug and wrap my palms around it, letting the heat seep into my skin in the cool morning air. “Thanks, Boss Man. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes at the track today.”
He chuckles as he turns to leave, knowing I’ve just dismissed him. We’re supposed to be keeping our relationship on the down low around the barn, but when I look at the skeptical look on Violet’s face, I have a feeling that we might already fail in that department.
I clear my throat and take a sip of coffee. “Planning on telling me what’s up now that he’s gone?”
She quirks an eyebrow at me and nods her head up towards the barn. “I don’t know. You planning on telling me what’s going on with you two?”
I lift my mug towards her to acknowledge her point. “Good talk. You ready to take that little psycho for a light breeze? See how he feels?”
She sighs and her shoulders relax. Her relief at me dropping that line of questioning is clear. “Yes. So ready.”
“Good. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
DD breezes beautifully for Violet. She stands up in her irons and just lets him run. Her gentle squeezes on the reins hold him back, and her perfectly still torso allows him to move how he likes. When they round the top corner of the track, she presses the reins at him and he shoots forward like a bullet. His stride lengthens, and he eats up the ground. Effortless.
If she can get him in position next weekend, the other horses won’t stand a chance. And we’ll be qualified for the Denman Derby. Leg one of the Northern Crown. Bucket list, here I come.
Back at the barn Hank is standing in front of a tack stall chatting with one of the grooms who is prepping Brite Lite for her turn on the track. Her sweet friendly grey face turns to me as I approach.
“Billie girl!” Hank greets me with his warm smile. “How ya doing this morning? How’d DD run?”
I shake my head at him, grinning like a lunatic. “That horse will win it all, Hank. He’s primed.”
His smile grows to match mine. We both know horses well enough to know how exciting a horse like DD is. How infrequently they come along. His big hand squeezes my shoulder as I lean into him for a hug. “You’ve worked magic with that little black horse. I’m proud of you.”
I rest my head on his shoulder and sigh. “All thanks to you, old man.”
“I don’t think I can take all the credit for the woman and trainer you’ve become. Hard work pays off, and I don’t think I know anyone who has worked harder than you. You deserve this.”
His approval makes my chest ache with what I’ve missed my whole life. The praise my own parents most likely will never give me.
“Thanks, Hank,” I say, not trusting myself with any more words than that.
The weeks fly by. I spend mornings with the young horses on the ranch, and afternoons at Bell Point Park in Vancouver. Hours are spent commuting between the two, but it’s worth it when I fall into Vaughn’s strong arms every night.
All I can think about is this coming Saturday, the race that counts for everything. If DD can pull off a win, he’ll be qualified for the Derby. Because we let him start slow, this is the final qualifying opportunity. The dream I’ve dreamt for years now is within reach, and in my gut I know if I can just get him there, he’ll pull it off. He’s a competitor, he’ll know what to do.
I’m nervous about keeping him healthy. I’m nervous about putting a completely unproven jockey on him. I have moments where I wonder if I’m qualified to do my job at all. Impostor syndrome is a raggedy ass bitch and I know I’m not doing a great job of hiding my anxiety.
In bed, under the shroud of darkness, I confess my worries to Vaughn. He listens to my fears. He soothes my body with his. He’s the rock I need. The rock I’ve been searching for my entire adult life. He doesn’t coddle me, but he doesn’t let me beat myself up either.
To be honest, he’s too good to be true. Which is why I’m here at his house, just down the road from the barn, snooping through his bathroom. I came in here to clean up after a marathon sex session and couldn’t help myself.
I’m terrible, I know.
I quietly open the drawers. Toothpaste. Deodorant. Shaving cream. Razor. Condoms. I huff out a sigh. “Boring. Boring. Boring.”
“Looking for something?” He’s leaning against the door jamb, toned arms crossed across his chest. Chocolate hair all mussed—just the way I like it.
I make eye contact with him in the mirror. “Yes. I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with you.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“You heard me.” I turn to face him now and wave a hand in his direction. “Ever since you got me naked, you’ve been nice. And just the right amount of dirty.” He smirks. “And so fucking gentlemanlike.”
“Okay. And this is a problem?” He looks incredulous.
“It’s just—” My teeth dig into my bottom lip as I look back into his dark eyes. “I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. People are notoriously good at letting me down, so if I can find some proof of you not being this… this perfect, of this being an act, then I can prepare myself for when shit will inevitably hit the fan. I’ll know what’s coming.”
Vaughn’s smirk fades, and he looks back at me softly, like I’m a cornered wild animal. “Billie. This isn’t an act. We’re not an act. I’m not going to let shit hit the fan.” He steps into the bathroom and wraps me in his arms. One hand strokes my hair soothingly as he presses a kiss to my forehead. “Just focus on winning the races you need to. You’ve worked too hard to be distracted by me. You’ve got too much on your plate. I’ll be here when you need me, waiting for you. I’m not going anywhere. I’m in this for the long haul.”
I relax in his embrace and run my hands down his back. “See? It’s not normal to know the perfect thing to say.”
“Plus, I keep all the body parts in my freezer,” he adds.
I can’t help but laugh into his chest as I feel my anxiety melt away in the safety of his embrace. “You do have that handsome serial killer vibe about you.”
“Speaking of handsome, tell me more about how I’m perfect.”
I groan as he laughs and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist as he walks me back to bed where, despite my doubts and fears, he holds me tight in his arms all night long.
Race day is here and I’m a wreck. I’ve given up everything to get to this day. It’s do or die. There are no other qualifiers and next year DD will be too old to qualify. The pressure is weighing on me, and I’m letting it get to me.
I could be sick. Everyone else seems fine, perfectly happy. Like they trust that I’m leading them down the right path. At my log house this morning, Vaughn told me as much. Hank is all chipper. Even Violet doesn’t seem that nervous for her debut race— a qualifying stakes race, no less—which is probably because she knows she’ll be sitting on the most horsepower out of the entire group. I’ve talked her half to death about strategy. I think I’m at the point where I’m annoying her now with the whole mother-hen vibe.
So, I’m hiding from everyone in DD’s stall, brushing him to a perfect shine even though I’m wearing a beautiful pant suit. But it doesn’t matter, breathing in that comforting scent and trying to find my center while he munches happily on his hay is what I need right now.
Hank’s head pops into the stall, “You should head up to the VIP lounge soon.”
I don’t look up; my hand continues brushing the rubber comb in circles on the pitch-black coat. “I don’t think I’m going to watch the race. I might just stay here at the barn. Can you record it for me? I’ll analyze it after.”
“You’re not really going to send your baby out there alone, are you?” He strokes DD’s forelock as I look into the horse’s big intelligent eye.
My chest pinches at the thought of missing the race, but my head swims with the pressure of it all. “I’m freaking out,” I whisper to the man who might as well be my father.
“I know you are, Billie girl. You don’t have to go up to the lounge, but make sure you watch it. Find a quiet spot along the rail or in the stands where no one will know who you are. You will not want to miss the feeling of watching your boy win. What the two of you have is too special.”
“Yeah,” I mumble.
I know he’s right. He just smiles and leaves, thank goodness. A hug would have had me falling to pieces in his arms.
I spend the next hour alone with DD, methodically getting him ready. Wrapping his legs perfectly, placing all his tack just so. It’s almost strange that no one talks to me, but I’m pretty sure Hank has warned them off bothering me, and to his credit Vaughn knows me well enough to know I need to be alone right now.
It still unnerves me how easily he understands me, how he accepts me—my paranoia and colorful vocabulary too. He doesn’t even try to change me; I’m thinking he might just like me for who I am. And the thought of letting him in completely terrifies me. I literally pinch myself sometimes to make sure I’m not dreaming.
Right now, I pinch myself to make sure this day is really happening. I step back to look at DD. His dishy head, his dainty legs, how handsome he looks in his yellow silks. He’s getting antsy. He knows what’s coming.
I press a kiss to his muscular neck. “I love you DD. Be safe out there.”
He’s ready to go.