Of Light And Shadows

The crest was warm around Jia’s throat when she woke in the middle of the night. She’d never gotten round to giving Lucifer it back after discovering she had Demon blood.

It had become a comfort to her somehow, a constant reminder that he was never far away if she needed him. She hadn’t seen him for days, though she knew she could call him to her at any time.

She traced the pointed star on its long chain absently as she blinked away her sleep, wondering why it was warm when all she’d been doing was dreaming.

She sighed and turned over, scowling into her pillow as she remembered the reason her dreams made Lucifer walk away angrily. Evan had kissed her and she’d let him, like an idiot.

Jia, come here.

The words whispered through her mind and she felt compelled to obey. She recognised the warm red of Lucifer’s thoughts flickering in her mind. He was summoning her.

She knew she could ignore it if she really wanted to, but she was already swinging her legs out of bed and standing.

She took one step forwards and found herself in the study, appearing directly in front of him. The lamp was on and a low fire was burning in the hearth. Jia looked up at him to see dark circles under his eyes.

“You’ve not been sleeping again.”

“I’ve had other things to do.”

“You just got off of bed rest. Have you slept at all since?” He didn’t answer but the look on his face said he hadn’t.

“I found Abaddon.” Her admonishment died on her tongue. “Or I found his associates, at least.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. “His politician friends?”

“Not quite.” He took her arm and towed her to the sofa. “When my father mentioned that Abaddon had been sent to the human world to monitor the spread of the Vampire virus it didn’t sit right with me. Satan doesn’t care about the spread.

"It also didn’t make sense that a politician would be chosen to monitor it when they’re a public figure. If Abaddon were ever caught trailing and studying the Vampires he’d be ousted from his job.”

“He loved that job more than anything,” Jia agreed. “No way would he risk it to track a Vampire.”

“Exactly. So I started snooping.” He passed a tired hand over his eyes. “You won’t like what I found.”

“I’m assuming it was pretty bad if you needed to summon me in the middle of the night.”

“Abaddon isn’t the only Demon in a position of power in the human world.” Ice pooled in her stomach. “I searched the region around your home first, then spread to the rest of the county. Every major city I searched had at least one representative from this world hiding as a human or Lotura.”

“How do you know?”

“I can tell when someone is one of us even through a photo,” he answered. “Their disguises are clever. Hair dye, contact lenses, some of them even filed down their teeth, but it isn’t enough to hide them from me.”

“Why would the Demons want to get involved in human world politics?” she asked. Lucifer chewed his lip thoughtfully and the sight of his elongated incisor trapping the skin reminded her of Evan’s face after he kissed her.

Shame heated her cheeks and she looked away quickly, hoping the low light and the flickering shadows cast by the fire would hide it.

“I think my father has plans that we don’t want to see come to fruition.” His fists clenched in his lap. “I should have guessed he was up to something when he started harping on about marrying me off.”

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it. He has eyes everywhere in the human world. Everywhere I searched, I found a Demon. He’s already in control of this realm and he’s a power hungry maniac.

"My guess is that he plans to make a move on the human realm and the only one capable of stopping him is me.” Jia watched the emotions flit across his face before her own eyes widened in realisation.

“If he marries you off to a woman of his choice he has permanent eyes on you as well,” she said softly.

“Exactly.”

“Who would he choose?”

“Her name is Jezebeth and she’s a snake. She’s as twisted as Satan and twice as vicious, though nowhere near as powerful.”

“Couldn’t you destroy her if she attacked you then?” Jia asked.

“It depends on how she would do it. She’s cunning just like him. I have no doubt that the pair of them could happily wait for decades before making a move just to make sure they’re properly prepared.”

“And if you don’t agree to marry her?”

“Then my father will no doubt find a bargaining chip to force me into it.” His eyes flickered up towards her face. “Unfortunately that bargaining chip is very likely to be you.”

“I expected as much,” she shrugged. “Although forcing you to marry Jezebeth would leave me open for him to snatch up anyway.” He frowned at her. “You told me Demons only marry once, right?”

“Once bonded the link can never be undone,” he agreed.

“Exactly, so once you’re stuck with Jezebeth that’s it for you. He gets what he wants and you have no reason to fight for me anymore because you’ve been bound to someone, leaving him free to take me away.”

“Hmm. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Let’s face it,” she replied bitterly. “I’m screwed either way.” A terrifying thought dawned on her. “Can Satan force me into binding myself to him?”

“He could if he broke your will.”

“That sounds a lot like torture.”

“It is torture, I was putting it nicely.” She shuddered.

“How do I stop torture being effective?” she asked.

“Well you’d either have to lose your sense of pain entirely,” he mused, “or you’d have to bind yourself to someone else before he could force you into binding yourself to him. It wouldn’t stop torture from hurting but it would make it pointless.”

“So I either have my will broken and forced to be with him or I hastily choose someone else that I’m then stuck with? That seems like a bleak decision.”

“I might be wrong,” Lucifer shrugged. “Everything outside of knowing which Demons are in the human world is pure speculation.”

“And if you’re right?”

“I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe from him.” He sat back against the cushions and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand before forcing some brightness into his tone. “Now on another note, you smell like the Vampire again so I take it you saw him today?”

“I did, I can’t believe you let him out. I was so happy to see him.” She grinned and then the kiss flashed across her mind and her smile faltered. Lucifer’s eyes narrowed immediately.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“I know that’s not the truth.” He cocked his head to the side, listening to her heart pound in her chest. “I’m not hurt, which means you’re not hurt.” She could see in his eyes that he’d worked it out and the pain that appeared in them, however briefly, stabbed at her. “Where was Mammon?”

“I’m not sure,” she answered sheepishly. “Sellik brought Evan to visit me alone. I haven’t seen Mammon since yesterday.”

“The only reason I wasn’t there myself today was because you were avoiding me and I wanted to give you space.” He spoke quietly, his face carefully neutral. “You don’t need to tell me what happened as long as you’re alright.”

He turned his gaze to the fire and Jia felt an ache in her chest that made her speak.

“I’m not alright. I don’t know what I am. Evander kissed me and I let him.” She buried her face in her hands. “It was only a second before I pushed him away but it was still a second where I did the wrong thing.” She was surprised to find tears pricking at her eyes. “I’m so confused.”

She didn’t expect him to pull her into a hug, so when his arms came around her the guilt crashed down even harder and the tears spilled over, making her breath shake as she tried not to sob.

“It’s okay, Jia.”

“It’s not. If I were Hannah I’d hate me. And you’re the last person I should be crying to about it.”

“Why am I?”

“Because I kissed you too.”

“And? That doesn’t mean I can’t be here for you when you’re upset.”

“Of course it does.” She sighed and sat back, placing a hand against his chest gently to make him let go. “I don’t like doing this to you when I know it upsets you. You told me how you felt, I told you I didn’t know what I wanted and now I’m crying in your study because I let somebody else kiss me when they were in a relationship.”

“Not somebody. Evander. You make it sound like you kissed a stranger and that’s not at all what happened. And at the moment we have no idea what his relationship status is. It’s likely the human world has assumed him dead.”

“Stop being so nice to me,” she whispered. To her surprise he laughed softly, making her look up from between her fingers. “What’s so funny?”

“I knew this would happen. Like I said to you when I made you promise to be careful; I’ve been around for a long time.” He reached out and took her hand. “I can’t make your mind up for you and I’ll never force you to choose.

"All I can do is wait and see what you decide. I’ve given you whatever advice I can and I’ve made it clear how much you mean to me. I can do nothing more.”

“Don’t you feel like I’m playing with your feelings?”

“Are you?”

“No but-”

“Then why should I think that? You made it clear that you’re not sure what you want. If you need to spend time with Evander to help you figure that out then okay.

"I don’t have to like it but I won’t put a stop to it unless he becomes dangerous again.” He smiled despite his obvious disappointment. “You’re an adult with your own choices to make. Just remember your promise, okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I don’t deserve you.” The words were out before she knew she’d spoken them and she saw his eyebrows creep up towards his hairline. “I feel like all I do is take from you and never give anything back.”

“What makes you think I need anything in return?” She frowned and his smile returned. “I don’t do things for you in order to be repaid. I do them because I want to.”

She wished more than anything in that moment that she could forget everything else and tell him she loved him. She wished the turmoil in her head would calm enough for her to make that leap.

Instead she shied away from it, feeling her cheeks colour as she looked down at her knees.

“Oh no you don’t. Not this time.” He tucked a finger under her chin, lifting it to make her look back at him.

“What?” she mumbled, her blush spreading so far she felt her ears warm.

“Every time I say something meaningful you hide your face so I can’t see what you’re thinking.”

“Thats because I don’t want you to see what I’m thinking,” she retorted half-heartedly. He chuckled again.

“I have a pretty good idea.” He cocked his head to the side and she saw that look in his eye again as his gaze drifted to her lips. Her heart ratcheted up in response. “Just to be clear, this has nothing to do with you kissing Evander.”

And then he leaned in and took her face in his hands, pressing his lips to hers so gently. She melted under his touch, a small sigh escaping her as her hands rose to clutch his shirt.

His mouth was soft and warm, his movements sure and confident as he pulled her closer. She let herself be drawn in, all thoughts of anything else completely swept away by his lips.