Never Have I Ever: Wanted my Brother’s Rival

The box sitting on West’s bed was like The Tell-Tale Heart calling to me the entire time we were snuggled up on the couch watching another episode of the show we were currently bingeing.

The past month had been as awesome as it was confusing.

West hadn’t pulled away at all. We texted constantly, and we’d started doing parallel work in the evenings. We’d do a video call but focused on our own work. West had suggested it as a way to spend time together when my schedule picked up with tests and labs and assignments, and I loved it more than I’d ever admit. The click of his keyboard and the soft noises he made when he was writing emails or doing paperwork were soothing. It helped me concentrate on my homework and stopped the nearly constant loop of thoughts steamrolling through my head at any given moment.

We’d also spent every weekend together, and we slept in the same bed every night we were together. West was a cuddler, and I loved falling asleep with him wrapped around me. We usually rolled apart during the night, but he was always up for snuggles and morning sex when we woke up.

Last weekend, he’d taken me to Seattle, saying I needed a break because of how stressed I’d been lately, and we’d stayed in the fanciest hotel I’d ever seen. He’d treated me to a spa day, taken me to an art exhibit, and we’d had dinner at the molecular gastronomy restaurant he’d told me about.

I’d kept my roommates updated on our situation, and they were all in agreement that this wasn’t friends-with-benefits behavior.

Zzzzz. Zzzzz. Zzzzz.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the notifications.

Matt: did you ask him?

“I have to answer this.”

“Sure.” He didn’t take his eyes off the screen or pull his arm from around my shoulders.

Eli: not yet

Matt: you need to talk to him

Eli: I’m scared I’ll ruin things if I’m wrong

Matt: but what about if you’re right?

Matt: do you want me to ask him? You know me. I have no shame

Eli: probably isn’t the most mature thing to have my friend ask the guy I’m sleeping with if we’re more than friends who fuck

Matt: I know you’re a fully functional adult

Matt: like more functional than I’ll ever be

Matt: but it’s still weird to hear my little bro swear

Eli: my bad. Ask the guy I’m sleeping with if we’re more than buddies who bone

Matt: snort

Matt: I’m so stealing that

Matt: just think about it. Asking someone what they’re thinking is hard, especially when so much is riding on things

Matt: *snicker* riding hard

Matt: but back to your crisis

Eli: it’s not a crisis. It’s a situation

Matt: fine. Your situation

Matt: you’ll never know what’s in his head unless you ask

Eli: true

Matt: are you sure I can’t ask him? Is he there? Pass him the phone

Eli: uh-oh. Connection issues

Matt: I’m serious. I’m way too invested in this to let it rest. Pass him the phone

Eli: the number you’re texting is out of service range. Please try again later

Matt: you’re a brat

Eli: so I’ve been told

Matt: that sounded… sexual

Eli: maybe

Matt: ugh

Matt: not something I need to picture

I sent the angel emoji, and he sent back a GIF of some guy yelling “just do it” and looking way too intense.

I tucked my phone away and glanced up at West, whose attention was still on the TV screen.

“Are we dating?” I blurted before I could stop myself.

A slow smile slid across his lips. He turned to face me, soft affection shining in his eyes. “You figured it out, huh?”

My cheeks flushed hot. A dozen emotions swirled through me, the biggest of them being relief and elation.

“How long have we been together?”

He chuckled. “It’ll be a month on Tuesday.”

“So when we went to dinner that night, it was a date?”

“It was a date.”

“You must think I’m so dense.” I dropped my forehead onto his shoulder.

“Nah.” He stroked his fingers through my hair. “I wanted to let you figure it out on your own time with no pressure from me.”

“What about Gray?” I asked softly.

“That’s the other reason I didn’t want to put pressure on you. I care about you a lot. I want to be with you, but I don’t want to cause trouble or come between you and your brother.”

“It’s not fair.” I smushed my face into his arm.

“I know, sweetheart.” He kissed the top of my head. “I wish things were different. I hate how I’m making your life more difficult.”

“You’ve made my life amazing.”

He gently pulled my face out of his arm and tipped my chin up, his eyes serious.

“The situation with my brother is complicated, but outside of that… this has been the best month of my life. I know it sounds dramatic—”

He pressed his thumb against my lips to silence me. “It’s not dramatic, because I feel the same way.”

“I’ll talk to him. But later.” I shifted uncomfortably. “I’ve kind of been ignoring him since the flood. Now’s not the right time to dump this on him.”

“I’m okay with keeping this as secret as it needs to be. I’m proud to be with you, but I get it’s not that simple. I need to earn not only Gray’s trust but also your parents’. I bet they hate me as much as he does.”

“They blame you for a lot of stuff that wasn’t your fault. But they’re only working with part of the truth, so they have all the same assumptions I had. But I never told them about how hard you leaving was for me or how your friends bullied me, so all their anger is over what happened with Gray.”

“I suppose that’s good at least.” He tucked me up against his side again. “But no rush, okay? I know how important your family is to you. I hate that you have to lie to them to be with me.”

“I hate it too. But you’re important to me too. I’ll figure this out.”

He gave me a little squeeze.

“Do you want me to quit?” I asked.

“Quit what?”

“Camming and selling content.”

“Why would I want you to quit?”

“Because we’re together?”

“No, sweetheart. I don’t want you to quit.”

“Are you sure? I’m going to eventually stop anyway. I like what I do but—”

“Your job is separate from us, and I kind of love how your viewers thirst over you but I’m the only one who gets to have all of you.” He booped my nose.

I glared at him, then rolled my eyes as an involuntary smile tilted my lips. He loved doing that because he knew it got a reaction out of me.

“In fact, I’ve been thinking about ways I can be involved in your work without being on cam,” he said.

“You have?”

West and I had made some videos together, mostly POV ones of me going down on him, and discussed if I should sell them. He’d said it was my choice, but I didn’t feel right sharing them or any of the collection of homemade porn we’d amassed over the weeks.

Those moments were private, something just for us to enjoy.

He tuned into my shows now, and I loved knowing he was down the hall and jerking off as he watched me. But the best part was when he’d come into the room after I signed off, horny and desperate. Some days he wanted to ravish me. Others he needed deep kisses and lots of cuddles. Then there were the nights he lay back and let me have my fun.

“I had an idea for your show tonight.”

“And?” I prompted when he fell silent.

“And I want you to go get the package on my bed and bring it downstairs without opening it.”

I jumped up and scurried up the stairs.

He’d told me about the package after picking me up at the house, but he’d made a big deal about how I wasn’t allowed to open it until he said so. He knew how much being told I couldn’t do something set off my bratty side, and I’d spent the past few hours trying to cajole and bribe him into letting me open it early.

“Can I open it now?” I threw myself onto the couch next to him and gave him my best puppy eyes.

“You want to open it?”

“Duh.” I shook the box. Something flopped around inside, but I couldn’t even begin to guess what it was. The last time he’d given me a mystery package, it had been filled with bath bombs to use in his amazing clawfoot bathtub.

West’s gifts ranged from simple and sweet, like the bath bombs, to extravagant and expensive, like our weekend in Seattle. Accepting things from him hadn’t been easy at first, but buying me gifts was one of his love languages, and I’d gotten over my issues about our difference in wealth because I knew it made him happy to give me things.

One of mine was acts of service, something I hadn’t realized until West. I liked cooking for him and making sure he took his breaks and had a healthy lunch to bring to work. We both had ways of showing the other we cared, and seeing West smile was the best gift ever.

Eagerly I pulled off the thick satin ribbon holding the box closed and tossed it aside. I peeked inside, pushing a few layers of sparkly tissue paper out of the way.

On the bottom of the box lay a clear plastic case with a silicone dildo.

I pulled the toy out of the box. The construction was a bit crude, but the shape made me pause.

“What do you think?”

“I think this looks exactly like your dick.”

“You think so?” His wide grin told me I wasn’t imagining things.

“I know so.” I licked my lips. Heat pooled deep in my body. “Did you use one of those cloning kits and make this for me?”

“I did. Do you like it?”

“Um, yeah.” I dropped the toy in the box and put it on the couch next to me. “Best. Gift. Ever.” I launched myself onto his lap.

He laughed. “Best gift ever, huh?”

“Yup.” I pecked a kiss against his lips. “Wait. Did you give it to me because you’re going away and I won’t be able to get the real thing?”

“No.” He smoothed my hair off my forehead. “Not going anywhere. I want you to use it on cam.”

My pulse sped up. “Really?”

He nodded, his grin dark and filled with promise and lust. “Start tonight.”

I pouted. “But my show is more than two hours away. What if I want to use it now?”

His pupils dilated.

“But,” I continued before he could say anything. “I guess it would be silly to play with a toy when I have the real thing right in front of me.”

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he murmured as I shimmied off his lap and shoved his legs apart so I could kneel between them.

“Are you in the mood for a little extra?” I pulled a bottle of lube out of my hoodie pocket.

He nodded, his look dark and possessive.

“Hands on the back of the couch.” I rubbed his thick thighs, making sure to scratch my nails over the muscle the way he loved.

He gripped the cushion behind his head and shifted lower on the couch to give me better access.

“Now close your eyes and relax. Don’t think about anything other than how I make you feel.”

He sighed and closed his eyes.

I pressed a kiss to the head of his hard cock through his sweats.

It had taken a few weeks, but now West had no trouble letting go and being fully in the moment. He didn’t try to hide his bossy or dominant sides anymore, and I loved it when he got a bit rough or manhandled me.

And I really loved when he let me do the same to him.

“Ready?” I asked softly.

“Ready.” He spread his legs wider and sank into the couch.

Joy and heat moved through me as I slowly stroked my boyfriend’s cock. West was mine. He not only wanted me, but he’d chosen me.

Things were still precarious because of the situation with Gray, but in this moment, all I could think about was how much West meant to me. How much brighter and better my life was with him in it.