Nadir

I am scared. I am almost thirty, not married and I have never thought of getting pregnant outside wedlock. Of course I have had people tell me times without number that if I couldn’t get myself a man I should just go ahead and have a child. I feel my eyes tear up when those thoughts linger a little longer in my mind, why is it that people are so insensitive? Why would you start talking about another person’s fertility like it’s your business.

I am brought out of my reverie when the nurse tells us that the doctor is ready to see us. Joshua has been holding my hand from the time he picked me up from Jackie’s place, she was shocked that I had to leave but we lied that something came up and I told Martha and Ems not to say anything because I wanted to be sure first.

‘I am here.’ He says kissing the very hand he is holding as if reading my mind

He knocks once on the doctor’s door with the hand that’s not holding me and she lets us in.

‘Good afternoon.’ She greets

‘Good afternoon ma’am.’ We greet in unison

‘Thank you.’ I say as we sit down after she points at the seats that are facing her table. She is an Indian woman that has kind eyes and a gentle face. She wears glasses with blue frames that makes her eyes look bright.

‘How can I help you two?’

‘Joshua and Nandy yes?’ She adds looking at her computer screen

‘Yes ma’am.’ Joshua responds with a smile

‘We are pregnant and we want to find out how far.’ He adds quickly and that makes her smile.

‘Babe we don’t even know if we are pregnant.’

‘I know that we are.’

‘Looks like Daddy here is excited.’ The Doctor says

‘Of course I am, I am going to name him Zion after my father and he will be the most loved child.’

‘Zion will be a very lucky child.’

I just shake my head as the two talk about a child that I don’t even know exists.

‘We will do a urine test just to determine if we are really pregnant then when it comes out positive we will perform a scan to know how far we are up.’

‘Alright Doctor.’ I say

‘I wish the two of you the best whatever the outcome.’ She says handing me a urine sample kit

‘We are pregnant.’ Joshua says and now for his sake I hope it’s positive because I don’t know how he will feel if it comes out negative.

I close the door to the bathroom and before peeing in the urine kit I open my phone to check my messages because my phone kept vibrating in my pockets. I don’t open the ones that involve work, the only personal ones are from Martha which I open. She is telling me that whatever the outcome she will love me regardless and wants me to know that I am the best sister she could have asked for. I don’t know why but this brings tears to my eyes. I respond and tell her how much I love her and I am proud of the lady she is shaping into even though sometimes she makes me feel like chopping off her mouth and she sends laughing emojis followed by another text saying Ems looks low and he is not even enjoying the party but I ignore that message because he is not my business. I lock the phone and pee in the kit, wash my hands with hand wash and go back to the office where I give the kit back to the doctor. She tells us to wait in the waiting area as she gives the lab technician to do the test and the results would be out in a few minutes.

We go back to the seats where we were sitted on and his fingers are still locked with mine.

‘Zion huh?’ I ask remembering what he told me about his relationship with his father

‘I wish the relationship was better you know, I wish we got to know each other. Every day I tell myself that I want to be a better father to my children than he ever was to me.’

‘So you just want to prove a point?’

He shakes j head.

‘No Nandy. I want to genuinely have a relationship with my kid, not just giving him all the presents I never got from my father but the presence, the love and everything in between. I want him never to grow up with any daddy issues.’

I wipe the little tear that rolls down one of his eyes.

‘Nandy you don’t know how much it hurts to have a father in your life but his just there. He is like a mannequin in your life no connection whatsoever.’

Another tears falls and I can see from his throat how he is swallowing back the tears.

‘I just wanted him to look at me. To see me. But he didn’t and I will never let my child go through that.’

I am about to respond when the nurse tells us that the doctor is ready for us.

‘Give us a minute.’ I say getting a hanky from my bag and handing it to him.

‘Thank you.’

He wipes the tears away and drinks some water then we head back in the doctor’s office.

‘We have the results.’

I breathe out deeply.

‘Congratulations, you are going to be parents.’

I keep quiet, I don’t know what to say but I know that I am happy to be doing this with Joshua. I turn to face him when I hear him sniff.

‘Babe.’ I say seeing the tears roll down his eyes, he is crying uncontrollably my own tears betray me.

‘I will give the two of you a moment.’ She says walking out of the office

‘Nandy I love you. So so much you have no idea.’ He says in between tears

‘I love you too babe.’

‘You have made me the happiest man alive and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to do life now and forget with you.’

‘I am not going anywhere.’

He removes a small box from his pocket

‘Babe what’s this?’

‘I have never been surer. Marry me.’ He says opening the box exposing the emerald cut pink engagement ring.

‘Joshua are you sure?’

‘Never been surer.’

‘Yes I will marry you.’

He slides the ring on my finger and it’s a perfect fit joyful tears drop.

..

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏽‍♀️