Nadir

I get home feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. The only good thing about how today went is that it was productive and seeing Jackie made a difference too. I knew I would be too tired to cook so I grabbed pizza on the way home. I will just warm it up later for supper.

Without wasting time, I jump into the shower and reward myself with a hot bath, except it is short because I carried some work that I want to finish off whilst home. My phone starts ringing and I quickly rush to it and find that it’s Joshua calling.

‘Hey babe.’ I say.

‘Hey you.’

‘You sound tired.’

‘It’s been a crazy day, I didn’t think I would survive it.’

‘Well look at you now.’

‘It’s still going, I have so much to do.’

‘Makes the two of us, I was going to stay in the office but I decided to work from home.’

‘I would have done the same too but then with mum there I don’t think it’s a good idea.’

I laugh, he sounds like his mother’s child.

‘I thought I check up on you and apologize because I won’t be able to see you today.’

‘You know I understand.’

‘I still need to apologize.’

‘Chivalry is not dead, isn’t it?’

‘I will take it as a compliment.’

‘Call me when you get done with work hey.’

‘I will, I might just come through and see you.’

‘Bye.’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you.’ I respond.

The line drops and I quickly get into comfortable pajamas then walk to the kitchen to warm the pizza.

‘And he already misses me.’ I say to myself going to where I have put the phone when I hear it ringing.

‘What do you want?’ I ask frowning immediately I pick up the video call. It’s Ems.

‘Those are nice pajamas.’

‘Seriously what do you want? I am dating your brother for Pete’s sake.’

‘I just wanted to make sure that you are not under pressure with the world’s best mother in town.’

‘Why do you even bother? Your mother is a sweet woman, you are just the problem.’

‘I didn’t say otherwise.’

I get the pizza from the microwave.

‘What, your boyfriend is not cooking for you today?’

I don’t respond. I hate that he makes my business his business.

‘Babe says you haven’t spoken from the time you left.’

‘Babe? So cheesy.’

‘Ems what do you want?’

‘Still calling me Ems? And I already told you I wanted to make sure you are okay whilst mum is in town. I hope she is not ruining your relationship.’

I sit down and start the kettle.

‘I was with Jackie, she was telling me about how awful your sex was.’

‘I don’t sleep with drunk women.’

‘So you didn’t sleep with her?’

‘Are you deaf or you are just pretending to be deaf?’

‘You know you really piss me off pumpkin.’

‘Stop calling me pumpkin. I might be fat but you can’t just put it in my face.’

I am angry and I hate that those words came out of my mouth.

‘Does your body make you uncomfortable?’

‘Emmanuel I think I need to go.’

‘Nandy does your body make you uncomfortable?’

‘Sometimes it does.’

‘So what are you doing about it?’

‘I walk for an hour when I have the time. Try to watch what I am eating too.’

‘As long as you are not okay with your body every little joke that is made that doesn’t even involve your body will make you feel like it’s targeted at you. I like calling you pumpkin, it’s my pet name for you. I wasn’t even directing it to your body.’

This is one of the few times I am having a deep conversation with him and I hate that it’s about one of my insecurities because this is a conversation I don’t just have with anyone.

‘Being like me is not easy.’ I say relaxing in my chair. I have moved to the living room leaving all my work documents on the kitchen table.

‘It’s not easy being just anyone, people expect so much from us. But if you follow everyone’s yard stick trust me you will never be happy.’

‘What do you know about life being hard? You guys had it easy in life with both parents and all.’

‘You think being yellow bone and handsome is easy? That’s a lot of work.’

I laugh, at least that lightened the mood.

‘I am the only one who was born like this in my family. I always wished to be like them because I felt like an outcast. Not that they treated me like one.’

‘At least now I have something to use against you.’

Now he is the one laughing.

We continue chatting about everything, I don’t even see where time goes. He tells me how it is like being in the military and why he chose it, about parts of his childhood that are both adorable and funny. I find myself opening up too and it’s just nice talking to someone like this.

‘Pumpkin you need to get some sleep, it’s 2 in the morning.’

I yawn.

‘Where did time go?’

‘What’s that about time moving so fast when you are having a good time?’

‘Boy please.’

‘You know I am right.’

‘Emmanuel you know we can’t be friends right?’

‘I know.’

‘Alright then. I am off to blocking this number too.’

‘Don’t otherwise you will get tired. I will always find a way of reaching you.’

I don’t know why but I believe him.

‘Sleep well.’

‘You too pumpkin.’

..

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️